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Heronie of the slaves - Song of fire and sand "I See you in another way"
Shapur (Pars Era 310)
Shapur (Pars Era 310)
Marzban of Pars, loyal, sharp, ambitious, hot-headed.
A man who at the age of 24 received from the king the highest rank in the Parsian military. A man who obeyed the rules and never broke them or shaped them to his will. A man who cared for his subordinates but also a man who knew that in war he would have to sacrifice them in order to achieve victory.
Shapur was a man who would never question the authority and the decisions of the king and he would defend this decision with all his might against outsiders. Even if he disagreed, because Shapur Marzban of Pars was loyal. Loyal to the royal family, loyal to the king of Pars. His comrades would call him an idealist, even uptight. If he was saw in a bar or a brothel with them after a battle and rejected any approach of a woman. After two cups of wine he already excused himself and retreated to his chambers. Such was Shapur Marzban of Pars, that was what his men, his comrades said of him.
But for Kayra he was more than that:
Kayra could see the sides of Shapur that his comrades, his men, the royal family, even the sides that his brother Isfan did not know. But Kayra knew them
She knew the small wrinkles around his eyes when the first sunlight fell on his still sleeping face, softening his striking features. His black hair, which fell like fine silk over his shoulders and shimmered in the light. His gentle smile, which he gave her when he noticed how she watched him sleeping.
His amused smile when he lowered his eyes and shook his head slightly when Kayra told him about a book she had just finished reading. His caring smile when Isfan played in the garden pretending to be a great warrior.
Kayra knew that Shapur was loyal, he was loyal to those he loved, to the people he cared about. Shapur was less loyal to the king of Pars than to his own people. But she also knew how afraid he was of losing the people he loved. The fear of incurring the wrath of the royal family by a thoughtless act, a thoughtless word, and losing everything. Not his title, not his castle, not his money, but the fear of losing the people he loved.
That is why Shapur kept his opinion to himself, that is why he rarely criticized the king's decisions. Kayra knew this, Kayra knew his thoughts, knew his concerns. She knew that Shapur often spent nights hanging over the king's orders, she saw the deep wrinkles that stretched across his face and looked like deep gorges in the light of the burning candles. Gloomy and frightening
She saw the deep circles under his eyes, the tired look when he looked for another strategy for the repeated time. A strategy that would be less risky and require fewer lives, a strategy to convince the king to deviate from his plans. Kayra knew he was doing this in secret, without much fuss, and without ever getting credit for it. He did it so that the king would save face and so that he would know the ones he loved were safe. Yes, Kayra knew this side of him and many more. She knew that sometimes he was hard on her and Isfan because he wanted to protect them. Protect them from the cruel world that ruled behind the high walls of the fortress.
He did not want them to see the things he had seen, to be forced to do the things he had done. He would never admit this to anyone, but Kayra knew, she knew because he had told her himself.
One night when it all came crashing down on him, one night when the deep circles under his eyes took their toll. On a night when Shapur Marzban of Pars looked not like a young man of just 28 years, but like a man who carried the weight of the world on his own shoulders. A man who had seen too much and done too many things to ever be forgiven for them. Kayra knew this side, the fragile side, the side when his eyes didn't shine with drive and determination, the side when he didn't look at her lovingly and tenderly brush a strand of hair behind his ear with his fingers.
The side when he didn't hold her protectively in his strong arms on the cold winter nights. She knew the side of him that was afraid, the side that knew despair. Kayra knew that some nights he could not sleep, the nights when he came secretly to her chamber. On those nights he didn't speak, he just stand at the edge of her bed as if to make sure she wouldn't just disappear. Sometimes when Kayra woke up, she would move a little in her narrow bed and he would lie down with her. He would hold her tightly, as if she would vanish into thin air at any moment, as if she had never existed.
Kayra knew all too well how stubborn Shapur could be, but she also knew how much compassion he could feel for someone. She knew how hot-headed he could be at times and how insightful he was when he had had time to review all the arguments. Yes Kayra knew that Shapur was like a little insecure boy when he apologized and how relieved he could be when he was forgiven.
Even if his comrades did not see these sides of him, she saw them. She knew that after a battle he did not party until the early hours of the morning, which did not mean that he slept. No, he would stay at his workplace until the early hours of the morning and write letters to the families of the fallen soldiers. Over the years these were many letters and many fallen, but she knew how important it was to Shapur that the soldiers he commanded were not just numbers or faces lost in the crowd.
They too had families, parents, siblings, lovers, children. They now had to deal with this loss, while for him it simply went on. Kayra did not know if this letter helped those left behind or if they would ever receive it, but she also knew that it was more for Shapur. It was his way of dealing with the loss of people he himself had sent to their deaths. Shapur knew how quickly life could be over, how quickly one wrong decision could cost the lives of hundreds, even thousands of people.
He knew it and he knew that Kayra knew it. Kayra also knew why he rejected the women who wooed him. She knew the women who threw themselves at him, it was not only the rich and fine ladies who were taken in by his reserved and friendly manner. No, it was also the prostitutes who waited for the men in the bars and brothels to give them a little pleasure after a battle won or a hard day on the training ground.
Kayra knew that Shapur rejected her, all of them. Shapur was loyal, not only loyal to the royal family, not only loyal to his men. No, he was loyal to her A simple farmer's daughter who had been sold into slavery, he was loyal to her because she knew how precious his time with her and Isfan was, how he soaked up every happy moment, how with every laugh his worries disappeared a little bit more.
Kayra knew this and she also knew that she was his anchor, even if he had never told her this, but she knew it. She knew so much about Shapur Marzban of Pars and for this reason she could tell him. For this reason and many more she could tell him "I see you in a different way than you ever could" and his astonished face, his incredulous smile, the eyes which he cast down and then he laugh out loud only to take her in his arms and steal a secret kiss that was for only for her
For Kayra this was Shapur, Marzban of Pars.