Oh No Revan Is Avoiding Feelings - Tumblr Posts

You Gotta Stop Rescuing Me

After a bad fight in the Lower City, Carth half-carries Kala back to their apartment. Spice ensues.

“You gotta stop rescuing me,” I said through gritted teeth while clamping my fist down on a bleeding wound in my side. Carth chuckled at my attempt to be tough. The man knew me too well by this point.

“Well, ya gotta stop getting in trouble, gorgeous.”

I raised an eyebrow and nudged him in the ribs. A stab of pain shot through me and I winced, cursing through clenched teeth.

“Pace yourself,” he quipped.

“Will do,” I said with a weak salute.

Carth Onasi was a puzzle I was still trying to solve. He was at once suspicious of me and saving my ass, clearly troubled and wanting to talk about it yet always claiming otherwise. Despite his mistrust, he was loyal to a fault.

“I can do it,” I protested, shrugging him off.

“Suit yourself.” I could hear the eye roll in his voice. In the weeks we’d been stuck on Taris, he’d become far too used to my stubbornness to fall for my tough-girl act.

As I limped along the street as inconspicuously as possible, Carth never strayed too far from my side. People were staring but I kept my eyes ahead. They knew what the upper level of their city was hiding, but that didn’t mean they were used to sharing their affluent spaces with their community’s undesirables. It made me sick. I couldn’t wait to leave this rock behind.

A sharp pain dug into my side and I cried out. In an instant, Carth was there, looping his arm around me and hefting me to my feet.

“I gotcha,” he murmured. My heart stuttered at his words. More than once he had worked his way into the spaces between my nightmares, leaving me to work through my frustrations in the shower as soon as I woke up.

“I know you do,” I retorted, trying to shove aside the sudden realization of how close we were. He just chuckled and readjusted his grip on me.

Don’t let go, I found myself thinking. As long as I lived, I would never let him hear me say that. Anything we had right now was temporary. I’d help him rescue Bastila, we’d get off this planet, and then we’d part ways. I was counting down the hours.

“D’you need a medpack? We’ve still got one left, I think—“

“No, I’ll be fine. Let’s just get back to the apartment,” I said quickly. He sighed.

“Stubborn, stubborn woman,” Carth muttered to himself.

“Yeah, but you know you like it.”

At long last we made it back to the apartment. I allowed Carth to lean me against the wall, keeping my eyes on his as he gently, carefully, slid his arm from around me. The ghost of his touch lingered, finding me through my reinforced armor, and I shivered. Worry darkened his warm brown eyes.

“You’re not gonna die on me, are you?” he joked. I barked out a laugh.

“Hardly. Death would be too easy.” I grinned. “Besides, I’m too stubborn for that.”

Carth rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile. “Good. I need you.”

My throat tightened. I gulped. Carth stiffened slightly, realizing the weight of his words. Clearing his throat, he dug around in his pack and brought out our last medpack and the keycard to our apartment.

“I need you to hold this for a sec,” he amended. While he turned away to fiddle with the keycard, I stuck the medpack’s needle into my thigh. This time, Carth let his grin break through. “You stubborn, stubborn woman.”

The door slid open and he took my hands, throwing my arm around his shoulder. I sucked in a breath at the feeling of his hand on mine. A second later I kicked myself for it. I wasn’t developing feelings for him—not by a long shot. We’d been through a lot, had formed a weird bond for just the moment, were stuck together as we tried to get out of a sticky situation. But even as we crossed the threshold, I knew that these were just excuses. Carth was dead weight—he could never lead the type of life I did, and I couldn’t waste my time worrying about someone else every time I got myself into a bad scrape.

But maybe…maybe I could enjoy myself a little…

“So, Carth, you said you needed me?”

“Well, yeah, but—I mean—”

I didn’t even wait for the door to slide shut behind us before my lips were on his. He gasped softly in surprise, paused for a second too long. I was about to step away and utter an apology when he wrapped his arms around me, returning my kiss with a passion I didn’t even know he possessed. I laced my fingers through his hair, tugging him closer, pressing my body against his. Carth broke away, causing me to growl softly in annoyance.

“Dammit, Carth—” I snarled.

“Hold your banthas, gorgeous,” he purred, shrugging out of his jacket. I nearly tore his shirt and undershirt off of him in my impatience to get him to bed.

“Don’t you ‘hold your banthas’ me, Onasi,” I growled.

“Impatient, are we?”

“Something like that.”

Truth be told, I was still running high on adrenaline and maybe a bootleg stim or two. We’d almost died, and that fear was taking me to a weird place I didn’t quite understand. It didn’t help that Carth was ruggedly handsome in a way that made me weak in the knees. I had seen him, once, on Mandalore some years ago. Even back then I’d wanted him in my bunk. That night I had settled for a Mandalorian from the local Cantina.

Carth picked me up and in a few short strides deposited me on my bed. Though our apartment had two beds, there was just the one room and the small bathroom, which made for an awkward moment whenever I had to get dressed. Ever the gentleman, Carth would turn away or even wait in the hall for me to finish; it was a radical change from the desire that had taken over and consumed him now.

His fingers worked deftly at my armor’s buckles and the top fell away, revealing a plain white tank-top underneath. He made quick work of this as well, tossing it aside. My plump, full breasts now sat exposed, nipples standing erect in the cool air of the apartment. Carth’s eyes darkened with a smoldering lust.

“Fuck,” he hissed. I laughed.

“Language, Onasi.”

He dipped his head to take a nipple between his teeth, drawing a moan from me as he flicked his tongue against my sensitive skin. I gasped and gripped his shoulders, digging my fingers into his solid muscle. He let out a ragged breath, his own grip tightening on me as he ground his hips into mine.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, y’know that?” Carth growled in my ear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll at least make it worth your while.”

“I should turn you over my knee right now—”

I laughed. He would never. “You don’t have it in you,” I purred.

Not even hesitating, Carth grabbed me and flipped me over. The pillow was cool against my cheek, and I curled my fingers into the blanket bunched up beneath me. Carth splayed one hand on the back of my head, toying with my curls, while his other hand ran across the span of my back.

“You really so sure about that, missy?” he said, leaning in close so that his breath fanned across my cheek. I just smirked. His palm stopped to rest at the small of my back.

“You’re too nice,” I teased. His hand on my back tensed, and I grinned. “That’s right, Onasi. I’m calling your bluff.”

SMACK!

I hissed at the abrupt contact. Carth ran his lips along the shell of my ear. “What’s that about calling my bluff?” He gave my stinging ass a squeeze. “I don’t think you’re in the position to talk back like that.”

“I like this side of you, Onasi. Maybe I should talk back more often.”

He slapped my ass again. “Nah, I wanna see what else that pretty little mouth of yours can do.”

“It can beg.”

He hummed in thought, rubbing the area he’d just slapped. “Don’t lie to me. We both know begging ain’t exactly your style.”

I shivered beneath him, biting my lip to suppress a moan. Where did this side of him come from? He was always the good little Space Scout, the upstanding Republic soldier who wouldn’t dream of stepping out of line. Regardless, I wanted more of this part of him.

“Gizka got your tongue?” Carth purred dangerously in my ear. I squirmed, this time unable to hold back my moan.

His hand rubbed a slow circle around my ass cheek, gearing up for another smack. I moaned, lifting my hips to press back into him. A thick bulge had already rented his pants, and I rubbed myself against it.

SMACK!

I cried out, and he pushed me back down on the bed.

“Not so fast,” he said, his voice curling deliciously in my ear as he gave me another smack. I moaned louder as he wedged his knee between my legs.

“Just fuck me already,” I gritted out, rubbing myself against his leg. One way or another, I’d get myself off.

“Language, darling.” Carth ran his hand up and down the length of my back again. I shivered, gasping, under his touch and rocked back against his leg. Chuckling, Carth leaned back down to whisper in my ear. “You’re not gonna be able to walk tomorrow when I’m done with you.”

Carth yanked my pants off the rest of the way, tossing them carelessly across the room. A groan escaped his lips as he freed himself from his military-issue pants. Our eyes met for a brief moment before he plunged himself into me. With every thrust I was shoved down into the bed, my moans muffled by the tangle of blankets beneath me. I pushed back against him each time, desperate to have his cock fill me up.

This was just what I needed—this desperate rutting in a small room on a foreign planet—after the misfortune that had dogged our every step since setting foot on the Endar Spire.

Carth reached down between my legs. One of his fingers found my clit and began rubbing circles in time with his thrusts. I sucked in a sharp breath. He chuckled, relishing the way he made me squirm beneath him. He bent down, his stubble tickling my ear.

“I wanna make you come,” he murmured.

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulled me up while managing to stay buried in me. He held me flush with his chest as he dragged kisses along my jaw and down my throat.

“I gotcha,” he said softly.

“Fucking hell, Onasi…”

As he worked my clit, he moved his other hand up to cup my breast, still holding me close. I whimpered and squirmed against him, completely at his mercy. Something deep in the pit of my stomach wound tight, threatening to snap as I chased after my pleasure. Carth murmured encouragement in my ear.

“That’s it, beautiful…”

I fell apart, crying out as I tipped over into that sweet oblivion. Carth captured my lips in a bruising kiss. I was far too sensitive beneath him, but he still worked at my core, nearly sending me over the edge again. He moved his mouth back to my throat, down to my shoulder, leaving a searing trail of kisses and nips along my skin.

Carth pulled out suddenly, causing me to yelp as he flipped me onto my back. He chuckled, running a hand across my stomach. “We’re not done just yet,” he said, flashing me that crooked grin of his.

He plunged back into me again, this time throwing one of my legs over his shoulder. I gasped at the sensation spreading through my veins like wildfire. I could feel everything, every delicious stroke of his cock. His hand found my clit again and soon I was seeing stars.

His rhythm began to speed up, his chest heaving as his thrusts grew sloppy, and I knew he, too, was approaching his own zenith. With a barely-restrained shout, Carth emptied himself into me.

He pulled out of me and sat back on his heels, his chest heaving as if he’d just run a mile. I forced myself to look up at him. The Republic pilot leaned his head back, eyes shut and dark lashes fanned out across his flushed cheeks. As always, he cut a handsome figure without even having to try. Unlike the Mandalorian from the cantina, I wanted to linger here in our post-fuck glow, but I couldn’t. Besides, Carth looked like the type to cuddle afterward and I wasn’t about to let him in like that. It was better for him, better for me.

I sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed. Already my thighs ached, and I smiled. Carth was nothing if not a man of his word.

“Where you going?” he asked. My smile faded. I fought to keep my expression carefully neutral.

“I need a shower. Blood has a habit of getting everywhere,” I said.

“Ah.” The disappointment in his voice made me wince.

I refused to look behind me as I padded over to our small bathroom. The sheets rustled behind me, and I had to fight to keep my gaze forward.

A hand gently wrapped around my upper arm, and Carth’s stubble scuffed my skin as he pressed a kiss to my throat. I shivered.

“Don’t wait up,” I forced out with a laugh.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Carth purred against my throat.

There was a hesitance in the way he let go, the way he stepped back. People had always been easy for me to read—it came in handy whenever I had to convince someone that what I wanted them to do was their idea or when I had to give some government lackeys the slip. But Carth was unreadable at the best of times; I wasn’t sure what to make of it now, when his walls were down and he seemed to reconsider letting his hand fall to his side.

When I stepped out of the shower, Carth’s soft snores filled the room. He lay on the bed, sheets wrapped around his hips and his legs kicked out at crooked angles. A frown creased his brow. He grunted softly, and then a name slipped out.

“Morgana…”

The guilt that had been gnawing at me fell away. My own walls came back up. I’d heard him say her name before, sometimes a murmur, sometimes a wail. But always, always, I knew that no matter what we were now, we could never be anything more.