On Waiting - Tumblr Posts
women and waiting in the asoiaf series
I was recently inspired by an article written for the Hedgehog Review that discussed "Ladies in Waiting"
"Historically, the discourse of absence is carried on by the Woman…. It is Woman who gives shape to absence, elaborates its fiction, for she has time to do so…. "
"Watch for me, little Cat"
From a very young age, Catelyn has been conditioned by her father to watch by her window and wait for her father to return.
She was no stranger to waiting, after all. Her men had always made her wait. “Watch for me, little Cat,” her father would always tell her, when he rode off to court or fair or battle. And she would, standing patiently on the battlements of Riverrun as the waters of the Red Fork and the Tumblestone flowed by. He did not always come when he said he would, and days would ofttimes pass as Catelyn stood her vigil, peering out between crenels and through arrow loops until she caught a glimpse of Lord Hoster on his old brown gelding, trotting along the rivershore toward the landing. “Did you watch for me?” he’d ask when he bent to bug her. “Did you, little Cat?” Brandon Stark had bid her wait as well. “I shall not be long, my lady,” he had vowed. “We will be wed on my return.” Yet when the day came at last, it was his brother Eddard who stood beside her in the sept. Ned had lingered scarcely a fortnight with his new bride before he too had ridden off to war with promises on his lips. At least he had left her with more than words; he had given her a son.
Waiting is consuming. We see in Cat's chapter that it completely takes over her life and swallows her whole. She goes through these vicious cycles of this with all of her men, including her children. One of the most prevalent moments of this is when Bran is recovering. Despite the odds of him recovering are initially slim to none, she remains is by his side. She would spend days sleepless nights watching him, and begins to neglect her noblewoman duties, as well as taking care of her other sons.
Even those in leadership roles are expected to follow "their duties" and wait for their men to return from battle.
The waiting is the hardest part. To sit in her tent with idle hands while her battle was being fought without her made Dany feel half a child again.
The parallel between the feeling of helplessness and preference for fighting
"I would sooner face any number of swords than sit helpless like this, pretending to enjoy the company of this flock of frightened hens."
"Fighting is better than waiting," Brienne said. "You don't feel so helpless when you fight. You have a sword and a horse sometimes an axe. When you're armored it's hard for anyone to hurt you."
On the City Walls
Their bodies are here, but their thoughts are on the city walls, and their hearts as well.
To a man, a woman waiting is comforting, but they do not see the anxiety or the fear. They themselves become victims on the battlefield.
"The She-Bears on Bear Island"
The ladies of Bear Island are a special case. However, they also began waiting as all the other women who would wait for the return of their husbands.
"In the olden days the ironmen would come raiding in their longboats, or wildlings from the Frozen Shore. The men would be fishing, like as not. The wives they left behind has to defend themselves and their children, or else be carried off."