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I've been fascinated with Barb's character since I finished Fallout and I'm glad that she hasn't been completely vilified by the fandom. Because I cannot help but sympathise and see her reasoning, even if it is horrific, because in the end she parallels Cooper.
Something people don't take into account is that they were both pawns of Vault-Tec, only Barb went along with it because she got something out of it. She got to protect her family, something that seems to be the most important thing to both her and Cooper.
Because neither of them could've stopped Vault-Tec. Neither of them could've stopped the bombs from falling.
If Barb had spoken out, had disagreed, all it would've done would guarantee that her family would die. We saw how Cooper's career/life was ruined after he assumingly spoke out against them. If you speak out against Vault-Tec, you lose your job, your friends, you are labelled a communist or communist sympathiser, and (in Barb's case) you lose access to a Vault which can guarantee that you and your family survive the nuclear war that everyone knows is inevitable. The war was always going to happen. Someone was always going to drop the bombs. Barb was just another cog in the machine, and she would've simply been replaced.
Barb had no power. Either she played along and her family lived, or they died. I don't think Barb wanted the war, and we can tell that her love for Cooper and Janey is genuine. She wanted to protect her family and keep them alive.
And I cannot blame her for being complicit. It was an awful thing, and Cooper had every right to feel betrayed. But I don't blame Barb either. Because I think a lot of people would've done the same thing in her position.
She traded the many for the few, for Janey and Cooper. The exact same way we see Cooper, two hundred years later, trading life after life for his own survival, so he can keep going and find his family. They would both tear down the world and ruin countless lives so they could survive, for Janey.