Or At Least - Tumblr Posts
(Moon’s sighing because it isn’t, FD just has dyslexia)
"Sometimes I think about how the Facebook logo is just the Tumblr logo but fliped upside down."
- FD 1973/2023
Hey Yormp, Luna, Wild, Saria, Sun, and Moon. I have a proposal
YESSSS!!!
You wanna know what’s coming up soon? It’s something very exciting.
IT’S THE ROUND TWO SIGN-UPS FOR THE TONY STARK BINGO!!!
Starting on January 13th, we will be opening the event to sign-ups! A link will be provided and spread across all our many social media platforms, and we are so excited to get started!
If you’ve got questions, start here with our FAQ’s, and if you’ve got more questions after that, you can message us here on Tumblr, on Dreamwidth, Pillowfort, or on our Discord server. We’ve got more mods this time around, some AMAZING art, new prompts, and the benefit of experience since last time we were pitched headlong into a new project with not a lot of practical experience.
Thanks to all who participated in Round One and made it such a success, and we’re very much looking forward to Round Two!
YES see this is such a GOOD detail, because it's another one of those details that utterly ruins Oliver's whole, "Yes I totally planned all of this just for the house!" retcon he tries to sell to Elspeth's comatose body.
Imo, Oliver definitely poisoned the bottle (and I'm like 99.9999% certain he got that coke from Farleigh, possibly even while Farleigh was doing his own little victory monologue at Oliver), but then he also drank from it before he even got to Felix. He was poisoned and expecting to die of a deliberate overdose THE WHOLE TIME during his desperate confession to Felix in the maze!
And then Felix rejects him, pretty brutally, by saying that Oliver frightens him, and Oliver shoves the bottle into Felix's hands while he darts off to make himself throw up.
And we're supposed to believe that Oliver, in the midst of extreme emotional distress + making himself throw up, had kept enough situational awareness to hear Felix drinking from the bottle and know Felix had drunk enough to die from it???
Because... Oliver also takes the bottle back from Felix pretty much immediately, before he leaves the maze himself.
Plus, there's the part towards the middle of the film, when Felix tells Oliver that he can leave Saltburn whenever he wants, if he gets sick of the Cattons, and we get one of the few rare interjections from older!Oliver implying that older!Oliver felt lied to there.
So even worse than Oliver just originally intending to die in front of Felix, or maybe even for them to die together, consider: what if Oliver making himself puke was actually Oliver deciding that he WAS sick of Felix, that he'd realized that Felix would never and maybe could never give him what he'd wanted, and his sad little wanderings around the dregs of his party the rest of the night was actually him saying goodbye to Saltburn because he'd decided that he actually did need to leave for his own sake.
Except Felix drank from his poisoned bottle, and Felix died that night while Oliver lived, and how could Oliver ever truly leave Saltburn when Felix was buried there after dying on Oliver's birthday???
Didn't matter anymore if he'd decided that he WAS sick of Felix, that he WAS going to leave, because Felix's body was never leaving Saltburn again and it was all Oliver's fault and so Oliver couldn't leave anymore either.
SALTBURN NATION WE HAVE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY i just. im rewatching again and got to the maze scene and it hit me. oliver goes to make himself sick BEFORE he even sees if felix had drunk from the bottle himself. which he did not actually witness. WHICH MEANS one of two things
either A) he didnt poison the bottle at all hes fully lying abt that in his monologue to cope with felix dying by random chance or B) he fully poisoned himself first, intending to die in front of felix, only to change his mind once he was rejected
the first one obvs isnt a novel interpretation BUT. the second one. oh god the second one. the implications, man. was he hoping felix would revive him???? was he hoping felix would drink it and theyd both go down together???? did he just want felixs fingers down his throat by any means possible
im actually losing my mind
“I’ve never used a gun before,” the hero swallowed, mouth dry. They had never needed to, but now—
The villain’s head lolled over to look at them. A lazy grin spread across their face.
“Don’t worry,” they held the hero’s gaze, unflinching. “I have.”
The gun went off. Across the room, one of their enemies dropped, blood splattering against the wall.
Still, the villain didn’t break eye contact, content to shoot without looking. They hit their target every time, but still—
“Can you please look where you’re pointing that thing?”
“Why,” the villain tipped their head, and that shit eating grin was back, “Am I making you nervous, hero?”
The hero grimaced as the villain sent another target sprawling onto the floor. Surely they had to run out of ammo eventually?
When the hero didn’t respond, the villain laughed.
“Oh, I am. Well, that’s adorable, frankly.”
The hero flinched at the next gunshot, and the villain nodded their head towards the hero’s gun. “If you were to—and bear with me this is a crazy idea—help me, this would be over with way faster.”
The hero looked down to their gun, shifting it side to side in their hands. It didn’t look all that hard. Point, aim, shoot. They could do that, right?
They lifted their gun, aiming at the nearest combatant—
The villain slid to a stop next to them, tsking, and their hand settled onto the hero’s gun too quickly for them to see. “Not-no not quite like that,” they hummed in the hero’s ear, and though they couldn’t see their face, the hero knew they were amused.
The hero’s jaw clenched with irritation.
“First,” the villain murmured, far too close, “Safety needs to be off.” They clicked something on the hero’s gun, repositioning the hero’s hands as they did. “Second,” they continued, and the hero shivered. “Don’t aim at me, love. You like me too much to kill me.”
“You’re awfully sure about that.”
The villain half rested their chin on the hero’s shoulder, batting their eyes. Their free arm jerked up, firing a shot behind them at someone who had evidently gotten too close to the two of them.
“I am,” they grinned. Their hand rested over the hero’s once more. “Now, aim,” they guided the hero’s hand towards the nearest enemy. Their finger slipped over the hero’s on the trigger. “And shoot.” They pulled down on the trigger, trapping the hero’s finger underneath theirs, so when the gun fired, they fired it together. The hero winced.
It was louder than the hero had thought it would be.
Across the room, the body dropped.
“Good,” the villain praised, voice low, and something stirred in the hero’s chest. “Again, love.”
They guided the hero through the motions once more.
By the time there was no one left to fight, the villain was staring at them with a look they couldn’t decipher. It was all encompassing. Hungry. Wild.
The hero cleared their throat, and the villain smirked like they knew what the hero was doing.
They eyed the hero, still with that look on their face.
“God, you’re pretty with a gun in your hand,” the villain cursed. They stepped closer. The hero didn’t move, holding their breath as the villain wiped a splattering of blood off their face. “Pretty covered in blood, too, but that might be a bit too insane for you, hm?”
The hero’s face went hot. It wasn’t, they thought. They wanted to kiss the villain so badly they worried it might be a sickness, twisting their mind, something terminal. But still, that smile—
The villain stepped away. They scanned the hero’s blushing face, and grinned harder at whatever they saw.
Gently, they took the gun from the hero’s hands, vanishing it behind their back.
“The next time you need someone to show you how to shoot, give me a call,” they nodded towards the hero’s hands. “I wouldn’t want someone else touching my hero, now would I?”
The hero couldn’t stop the smile that spread across their face.
The villain winked, stepped back, and was gone.
My hero.
Oh, the hero was well and truly fucked.
