Overwatch Shitposts - Tumblr Posts
Genji: *sighs* I have no costume…
Gabe: *Dressed deadpool, walks in with red and gold chrome spray paint* hold onto your nuts and bolts iron man.
Genji: n-Nani?
Reinhardt, Cole, & Jack: *dressed as Thor, Bucky & Captain America respectively* …
Gabe: Hold him down.
Genji: *high pitched screaming*
(Y/n): *walking down hallway with files in hand*
Cole: *drunk and slightly disoriented, sees u walk past him*
(Y/n): Hey Cole.
Cole: *goofy grin on his face as he leans against the wall with arms crossed* well, what’s a fine lady like you doing walkin’ alone?
(Y/n): *stop dead in your tracks knowing Cole is too much of a gentle man to say something like that so randomly* I’m sorry?
Cole: you heard me doll~
(Y/n): *shocked and flustered* wtf is happening rn
I love how in the Reunion cinematic, Ashe is her typical, head-strong, stubborn self and then in the aftermath she’s upset with herself cuz she didn’t get rid of Cass when she had the chance.
I just think it’s cute how she has a soft spot for him regardless of being a traitor and leaving the gang. They played important roles in each other’s lives when they were younger.
Ashe: I should’ve put a bullet in’em when I had the chance
BOB: *rolls eyes*
Ashe: *notices* What? Got somethin’ to say Bob?
BOB: *internally* you didn’t on purpose you softie, but thank God for that. I still like him 😌
I love EVERYTHING about this
Cole: *crying quietly in the corner*
Pharah: Cole?...
Cole: Their love fer me was a fuckin' lie... Gabe's willin' t' kill me and calls me stupid... Jack said lettin' me join overwatch was a waste... They didn't love me...
Pharah: *hugs him* Mom and I love you... You're my brother, and Ana was the one that signed the second part of your adoption papers, we love you so much, those old farts are morons.
Cole: *smiles a little and hugs her back* Thanks Fareeha... I love ya too. Where's Ana right now?
-
Ana: *beating Jacks ass with her rifle* YOU’RE GONNA WISH YOU DIED IN THAT EXPLOSION! HOW DARE YOU HURT YOUR SON LIKE THAT YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!
FINALLY
youtube captions suck, they said "lore"
Some more from the demon reaper au ~Bambi
———
Jack: *got tired of waking up in the middle of the wheat field at night and now sleeps with a ring of salt surrounding his bed*
*THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!!*
Jack: *takes out one of his ear plugs* keep circling all you want dickhead I’m not getting out of bed until morning.
Reaper: *unable to cross the salt, circling the bed and snarling in anger*
———
Jack: *quietly making breakfast watching the knives try to break free from the magnetised knife block* do it and I’m pouring holy water in the humidifier again.
Reaper: *stops rattling the knives* …
Jack: thank you.
Reaper: *flings open all the cabinets throwing every dish and appliance out onto the floor*
Jack: *catching a bowl and spoon as they fly past* cereal it is then.
———
Jack: *brushing his teeth and keeping eye contact with the demon behind him in the mirror* …
Reaper: …
Jack: …
Reaper: …
Jack: *squirts a little toothpaste on his finger and draws a big nose and a pair of stupid glasses on reapers reflection before rinsing and walking out*
Reaper: *growls and punches the glass*
———
Jack: *relaxing in a nice bath*
Reaper: *lurking closer and slowly sliding his claws over the lip of the tub only to recoil in agony as his fingers touch the water* WHAT?!
Jack: holy salt water good luck trying to turn it into blood this time, bitch.
———
Jack: *half asleep, got out of bed to use the bathroom, too tired to remember why that’s a bad idea*
Reaper: *slowly stalks up behind him and grabs him by the throat turning him around to face him* I’m through with your games-
Jack: *tiredly wraps his arms around him in a hug, hands playing with the fur on his legs* ShhhhHH… it’s sleep time… you can just kill me now if you’re gonna keep this up…
Reaper: … *slowly slides his hands around his waist and pushes him off before guiding him back to bed* …
Jack: *sleepily flops back under the covers* g’night…
Reaper: *wraiths away*
———
Jack: *looking at his body the morning after wondering where the scratch marks came from* damn didn’t know you were into that.
Reaper: *growls lowly from behind him*
A Hypothetical Thought
Hypothetically speaking if we gathered every single overwatch p#rn animator and forced them to recreate the movie frozen frame by frame, how long do you think that would take?