Paradiscm - Tumblr Posts

paradiscm.

“why not s'cause you don’t like ‘em,” simon repeats, amusement faintly growing as sunho’s response comes out rather expected. it’s a cocky assumption to make, and he doesn’t usually go around stroking his ego so publicly, nor does he usually enjoy being clung to, but underneath general insecurities, there’s still a lot to be fond of when he meets the other’s starry eyes. (plus, in fairness, their usual arrangement isn’t awful.) “what’s the plan huh – am i gonna have to entertain you all night while y’sit ‘round bored?” simon tips his head to the right, then propping it nonchalant against the heel of his palm when he leans an elbow atop their shared counter. he’s doubtful, scrutinizing sunho’s plan in joining him at the bar in question. “y’gonna drink with me at least?”

"  sure i don’t like them but doesn’t mean i can’t be here to keep you company.  " he said with his clingy tendencies kicking into overdrive he wanted more than anything to be with his boyfriend and he’d gladly suffer through anything in order to get what he wants even if it meant going to some bar. he really didn’t mean any ill intent with his words he just so desperately wanted to be with simon more than anything in this world really and to finally be loved & wanted by someone so of course in this situation he’d do anything in order for that happened. "  no not really we can anything you want to do.  " he added with a small smile he wanted more than anything for simon to feel comfortable with him to be himself. "  i don’t really drink , but sure.  "

paradiscm.

there’s an internal battle, a pinch, a tug, a pull and press of nails, each self-inflicted, each intentionally mean when he faces hyunseung. his head is consistently unforgiving. though there’re moments, brief gulps of air at the surface where his head clouds with confidence (where his ego blooms an unnecessary amount) – the majority of his day is spent wallowing, throat tight and weighted and uncomfortable. and somewhere beneath all the discomfort, and the visible way he tenses at gentle compliments, hyunseung finds him – collects him, cares for him, all gentle, kind, lovely the way hyunseung usually is. all of it makes the rejection sitting on his tongue all the more bitter. simon wills it out – reminds himself that ripping the bandaid clean off speeds up the healing process, as opposed to doing it slow, torturous and fixated. he repeats it in his head like amantra, and his mind whirls, palms hot when they rub nervous against his thighs. “…hyunseung i –” simon sucks in a breath, notes the way heat climbs to his cheeks, notes how thick the air feels around them, “don’t think… i don’t think uh – i can… return your feelings. or. uh.” there’s a pin drop silence. “i just – i don’t know if i’m readin’ things wrong but. but… i just wanted to say that first. before um… before things get any… harder. ‘cause… ‘cause you’re important to me y’know..?” he tries to emphasize the latter, the hand closest to the other male hovering – tempted to slide over and press down with a reassuring pat. simon doesn’t.

clearly something was wrong with simon today at least that was what hyunseung had thought with the other male not really acting his usual self around him which led the socialite to think that he’d fucked up something between them that he might have said or done something that caused to the other to act in a way so out of character of him. which obviously led him to worry about the other and that he’d better do something in order mend whatever rift had formed between due to his actions or words prior to this interaction. thinking over the past few days in order to get to the bottom of whatever he did or say to simon to cause all of this hesitation inside of the other male.

the only problem though was that he couldn’t anything inside of memories that happened between them that would cause this now that could just be his rather inflated ego talking , but he’d been on best behavior so to speak towards the other especially given how new their relationship was and he had always treated simon with care giving him all of his attention and time at least as much as he could give to the other. until there it was the painful words had come out of the other hyunseung was pretty much expecting to hear those words today especially given how he was asked to come over on such short notice and to be honest it didn’t really matter to him he was even more surprised that those words didn’t come out sooner before things got even more complicated between them. "  oh! i knew that you’d say that eventually.  "

@paradiscm​​   /   closed starter. 

yoohan didn’t expect that someone like simon would accept his idea and he’d expect the other to dismiss them outright and laugh in his face for proposing such an absurd idea to him , but they did end up agreeing to his terms & conditions at the end. now that the other male had agreed to become pretty much fuck buddies with no strings attached whatsoever he had to lay down a couple of ground rules for the both of them which was quite odd coming out of the vampire’s mouth with him having a penchant for chaos in his life especially given his current life choice , but he should have still a fail safe plan just in case one of them do catch feelings for the other in the process of them being together in the loses senses of that word. 

"  ok now that you’ve finally agreed i’ve got to lay a couple of ground rules y’know just in case something happeneds.  " he said crossing his arms in front of his chest he was still in disbelief of the whole thing especially when this whole thing started as just a joke between them up until the moment that simon had actually agreed to going ahead with the plan that is that yoohan was serious about it. then again it wasn’t like he could complain about it especially with how attractive simon was it was pretty much a win win for the both of them to be in sort of agreement. "  now i did say that under no circumstance that either of us would fall for the other as that would further complicate things between us other than that anything is fair game between us just let me know whenever you wanna hook up ok ??  "  he continued slipping the other a small piece of paper with his phone number on it.