Paul Is A Jerk - Tumblr Posts
Love, Hate, F*****g Heartbreak
Tumblr: Pretty-restless-insomniac
AO3: The_Pretty_Restless
Pairing: Paul Lahote/ Reader
Rating: Teens and Up
Warnings: Cussing
Summary: When you found out about the wolves and having a soulmate, it seemed that for once in your life things were finally looking up. But not everyone is grateful for the imprint, and eventually all the resentment and anger comes out leaving you devastated and wishing that you never even met the asshole Known as Paul Lahote.
Author Note: Hi Everyone! This is just a little angsty drabble that came to me in the middle of the night. Please do not repost, This is also one my Archive of our own profile. The username is The_Pretty_restless and I would love to have you come check out my other works! Let me know what you think!
You sigh as you retrieve yet another beer for Paul, and Emily glances at you from her place at the sink.
"Has anything got better with..." She trails off into a hushed tone and her eyes motioned to Paul sulking at the dinner table. No doubt they all could hear you, hushed tone or not, so for now it's easier to avoid conflict and lie.
"Yeah. Somewhat." You struggle with the bottle opener, becoming anxious as Emily's stare burns into your back. You wish you could just break down and tell her everything, about the endless tears and harsh attitudes. Your hands start to shake as you will yourself not to cry but a soft hand on your shoulder nearly breaks you.
"I got this honey."
Emily finally opens the beer and you hurry to get it to your infuriating boyfriend. Paul glares at you and snatches the bottle when you get closer.
"Took you fucking long enough." You bite your tongue, not having enough energy to snap back. You can see the pack glance at each other, some nervous and some annoyed. Kim smiles at you from her place on the couch and waves you over.
"Hey (Y/n), would you mind braiding my hair. I love when you do that." You smile gratefully at Kim for giving you a task to distract your self from the frustrated tears welling up in your eyes.
Playing with Kim's hair is just as soothing as someone doing it to you and you finally release your tense muscles. Kim babbles on about different classes she's thinking about taking at college, but you can't help but to turn your attention to the boys at the sound of Embry's voice,
"All you assholes are really lucky to have imprinted," he gestures to Paul Same and Jared. "Aside from this poor bastard," he smirks at Quil who returns his comment with a middle finger.
"I don't know, I mean, it's odd to think that our soulmates are out there and we have to just change our lives for them. Like what if they're married or have kids, what the hell do we do then?" Jake quipped.
"Well, I know I can't wait to meet my imprint," Seth grins down at his plate.
Paul scoffs and sets his beer down, nearly knocking it over in the process.
"Imprinting is nothing to look forward to. It's a sudden shitload of feelings for a stranger that you wouldn't even fucking notice before you went all teen-wolf type of shit. As if life wasn't already fucking hard enough."
He drunkenly grimaces and downs the rest of his beer. Everyone goes still and turns to where you're braiding Kim's hair on the couch. You don't dare to cry, but that doesn't mean you're going to take the shit he's saying either. Drunk or not. You gently push Kim forward to stand and move around to behind Seth, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder. The boys glare at Paul, but you meet each of their eyes silently assuring them that you could hold your own. Paul glares back at them, daring them to say something. Seth shifts to look up at you, grabbing your hand.
"I'm so sorry (y/n) for bringing it up."
You give Seth a soft smile and run your hand through his newly cut hair. You set your jaw and pull on your best poker face when you lift your eyes once again to your asshole soulmate.
"Don't be sorry Seth, he's right. How silly to think a girl of my low status could ever deserve someone as righteous as the fucking king sitting right there," Emily grimaces at your cuss word and you smile apologetically at her for a second.
"I am so sorry that you didn't get a choice on who you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life, Paul." You muster as much venom as you can into that simple statement.
Paul leans back in his chair and decides to interrupt you, clearly losing control of his anger.
"What? So now I can't even speak my fucking mind. See, Seth, this is what I'm talking about. Once you imprint its like you lose your fucking balls right then and there. You go from a proud wolf to a fucking lap dog on a shitty leash!"
"Paul, shut the fuck up." Leah apparently reaches her limit and gestures for you to continue.
"A lap dog, must you always be so dramatic? Oh, shame on me! Who would ever want a relationship that they literally knew was fate? One that was truly meant to be. But no, the spirits have cursed you with a girl who already loves you endlessly. I fucking worshiped the ground you strut on Paul, I've been there for you, being the Imprint I thought I was meant to be. And it's not a fucking leash Paul, it's respect for the person you're in a relationship with," you take a breather and blink away the tears in your eyes.
"You sure don't mind the imprint when you're profiting from it. You're selfish and a bully and I wish I could leave your ass stranded somewhere or run you over with my car, but even the thought of hurting you is killing ME right now. I don't know why I'm not enough for you, but from this point on I'm done apologizing for it. When you regret this later, I hope the guilt eats you up and spits you out because I've been walking on egg-shells up to now trying to be the perfect girl for you. At least now I know for sure that you will never love and value me as much as I do you. I'm finished being the only one fighting for our relationship. I know it would kill you to stay away from me physically, but emotionally and mentally, we've never been so far apart."
You're proud to have finished speaking without a single tear shed, but you hold your breath waiting for Paul's reaction. Quil breaks the suffocating silence by standing from the table applauding, at least before the death looks you all give him has him retreating back into his seat. Paul's eyes go nearly black and you try not to flinch as he suddenly pushes away from the table. All the dishes would have hit the floor from the force if not for the fast acting werewolves sitting around. And when Paul takes a step towards you, Embry Jake and Leah jump up to put themselves between you and him. It infuriates Paul, how dare they step in between him and his MATE! He's ready to tear them to pieces, shaking violently when Sam cuts in.
"ENOUGH. Paul go get your ass outside, when I come out there you're going to learn some respect."
Even in his most primal state, Paul knows better than to disobey an Alpha's order. You watch as he stomps through the door to outside. You listen to him roar as he changes but all you feel right now is numb. Sam and Emily offer you their spare room, as does Kim, but you gently reject their offers. You do the same as each of the boys offer to drive you home, but no you tell them you simply would like to be alone to think. You go through the motions of everyone giving you hugs, each time it gets harder to hold back your tears. Emily's motherly kiss on your head and Sam's bear hug is the hardest to resist, but soon you're in the confines of your car and driving away from the quaint little home.
You're only 3 minutes down the road when adrenaline stops coursing through your veins. You pull to the side of the road as the tears blur your vision and the sobs rip from your throat. You've never been so angry and hurt, but most of all you felt scared. Scared you were stuck in this shitty relationship for the rest of your life, with somebody who didn't even want you- aside from forced emotions from a spiritual force. You scream and hit your wheel, you scream at Paul, at yourself you scream and sob till your voice is course and your throat is sore.
You don't see the silver wolf watching you from the dark woods around your car. But he hears every word every gut clenching sob, and it's like a knife to his heart. Paul knows he fucked up, of course he didn't mean any of the nasty things he spewed, but that thought doesn't quell the nauseousness in his stomach at making you cry. He wants to phase back and rip your car door open to pull you into his arms. He wants to kiss those tears away and chase away all the betrayal you're feeling right now, but he has a lesson to learn. His wolf wants nothing more than for Sam to kick his ass right now, but only after he makes sure you're going to be okay to go home.
You're reduced to a hiccuping mess when your vision clears, and you reluctantly begin the drive home ready to crawl into your bed and sleep this mess away. As you drive off into the night, you can't help the stray tear that falls as you hear a pained howl that echos down to your very core.