All The Feels - Tumblr Posts
The nostalgia of your first Kdrama soundtrack
My thoughts on 9-1-1: lone star season 2 episode 8 (bad call)
• so I’m stressed for this episode
• cause I watched the promo which I don’t normally do but for the episode I did for some reason
• also 9-1-1 was relatively calm which normally means lone star will be dramatic so join me for the ride
• also side note I’m watching this at 1:10am just for the lols
• yay!
• fire fam feels
• and Nancy’s there as well
• shit! They haven’t told TK about the baby? That’s not gonna end well
• that’s not good
• also whether purposeful or not the bank tellers mask having the pink purple blue is giving off fabulous bi vibes!
• they better not hurt Carlos
• why they gotta bring Enzo into this? Fuckin everything up
• someone give TK a hug ASAP!
• oooh Carlos in trouble....
• dad?
• this is not gonna end well
• can someone explain what the Texas rangers are? Are they police are they fbi? Serious question there is nothing like them in the uk as far as I know
• I was prepared for TK getting hurt not Carlos!! I am not mentally stable enough for this
• if at any point in this episode they have TK break his sober streak I will be very annoyed
• STOP MAKING CARLOS SAD!!!!
• while I’m loving supportive owen he should probably save some for TK cause at some point they gonna need to talk about the baby
• yay! A proper fire rescue
• Judd does not need the stress of another fire team getting blown up in front of him... again
• saying you can’t comment is a shitty way around not complimenting your son!!
• go Carlos you tell him!!
• well this is not gonna end well
• someone is gonna get shot or at least pistol whipped
• smart TK! Making good decisions under pressure
• are they planning on ending this episode with both TK and Carlos being traumatised?
• TK’s gonna do something stupid isn’t he
• I take back my comment about TK being smart
• well shit!
• no! Carlos is getting anxious and I don’t like it
• if it weren’t for the blood TK kinda looks like he’s sleeping
• BAMF!Vega is on the case
• “I’m angry” ✨iocnic✨
• I did not like the noise TK made it did not sound good
• what the hell is wrong with that dude he should not have that much strength
• and he shot his brother. Great. Just great.
• Carlos is not having a great day today really
• ok Carlos is impressive
• woop woop! Go Carlos!
• TK is not looking great
• not Nancy she’s been through enough recently
• ok I get that she the captain and all but she does have a husband a kids so..
• both Nancy and Vega are BAMF!!!
• yes!! Help has arrived!
• the way TK said “ his baby” 🙁🙁😩
• they did not need to traumatise TK and Carlos to get them to hug, I mean I appreciate the hug but still, next time can we get the hug without the emotional scarring ?
• Owen standing up for Carlos!!
• just remembered Carlos’ parents don’t know about him and TK
• okay maybe they do
• maybe Carlos dad isn’t as big a douche I thought
• shit why are they showing us Judd and Grace at the end of an episode?????!!!!?!?!?
• yes!! Judd and Grace need kids!!
• YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• no no no no no no no no no no no no no
• that better have been some sort of fucked up dream sequence because I am not emotionally stable enough to wait until April 19th to find out what happened
• they can’t tease us with Ryder babies and then do that??!!!!!!!!!!!!
~cute animal time~
~you get all the animals cause that was a stressful episode and we deserve it~
Love, Hate, F*****g Heartbreak
Tumblr: Pretty-restless-insomniac
AO3: The_Pretty_Restless
Pairing: Paul Lahote/ Reader
Rating: Teens and Up
Warnings: Cussing
Summary: When you found out about the wolves and having a soulmate, it seemed that for once in your life things were finally looking up. But not everyone is grateful for the imprint, and eventually all the resentment and anger comes out leaving you devastated and wishing that you never even met the asshole Known as Paul Lahote.
Author Note: Hi Everyone! This is just a little angsty drabble that came to me in the middle of the night. Please do not repost, This is also one my Archive of our own profile. The username is The_Pretty_restless and I would love to have you come check out my other works! Let me know what you think!
You sigh as you retrieve yet another beer for Paul, and Emily glances at you from her place at the sink.
"Has anything got better with..." She trails off into a hushed tone and her eyes motioned to Paul sulking at the dinner table. No doubt they all could hear you, hushed tone or not, so for now it's easier to avoid conflict and lie.
"Yeah. Somewhat." You struggle with the bottle opener, becoming anxious as Emily's stare burns into your back. You wish you could just break down and tell her everything, about the endless tears and harsh attitudes. Your hands start to shake as you will yourself not to cry but a soft hand on your shoulder nearly breaks you.
"I got this honey."
Emily finally opens the beer and you hurry to get it to your infuriating boyfriend. Paul glares at you and snatches the bottle when you get closer.
"Took you fucking long enough." You bite your tongue, not having enough energy to snap back. You can see the pack glance at each other, some nervous and some annoyed. Kim smiles at you from her place on the couch and waves you over.
"Hey (Y/n), would you mind braiding my hair. I love when you do that." You smile gratefully at Kim for giving you a task to distract your self from the frustrated tears welling up in your eyes.
Playing with Kim's hair is just as soothing as someone doing it to you and you finally release your tense muscles. Kim babbles on about different classes she's thinking about taking at college, but you can't help but to turn your attention to the boys at the sound of Embry's voice,
"All you assholes are really lucky to have imprinted," he gestures to Paul Same and Jared. "Aside from this poor bastard," he smirks at Quil who returns his comment with a middle finger.
"I don't know, I mean, it's odd to think that our soulmates are out there and we have to just change our lives for them. Like what if they're married or have kids, what the hell do we do then?" Jake quipped.
"Well, I know I can't wait to meet my imprint," Seth grins down at his plate.
Paul scoffs and sets his beer down, nearly knocking it over in the process.
"Imprinting is nothing to look forward to. It's a sudden shitload of feelings for a stranger that you wouldn't even fucking notice before you went all teen-wolf type of shit. As if life wasn't already fucking hard enough."
He drunkenly grimaces and downs the rest of his beer. Everyone goes still and turns to where you're braiding Kim's hair on the couch. You don't dare to cry, but that doesn't mean you're going to take the shit he's saying either. Drunk or not. You gently push Kim forward to stand and move around to behind Seth, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder. The boys glare at Paul, but you meet each of their eyes silently assuring them that you could hold your own. Paul glares back at them, daring them to say something. Seth shifts to look up at you, grabbing your hand.
"I'm so sorry (y/n) for bringing it up."
You give Seth a soft smile and run your hand through his newly cut hair. You set your jaw and pull on your best poker face when you lift your eyes once again to your asshole soulmate.
"Don't be sorry Seth, he's right. How silly to think a girl of my low status could ever deserve someone as righteous as the fucking king sitting right there," Emily grimaces at your cuss word and you smile apologetically at her for a second.
"I am so sorry that you didn't get a choice on who you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life, Paul." You muster as much venom as you can into that simple statement.
Paul leans back in his chair and decides to interrupt you, clearly losing control of his anger.
"What? So now I can't even speak my fucking mind. See, Seth, this is what I'm talking about. Once you imprint its like you lose your fucking balls right then and there. You go from a proud wolf to a fucking lap dog on a shitty leash!"
"Paul, shut the fuck up." Leah apparently reaches her limit and gestures for you to continue.
"A lap dog, must you always be so dramatic? Oh, shame on me! Who would ever want a relationship that they literally knew was fate? One that was truly meant to be. But no, the spirits have cursed you with a girl who already loves you endlessly. I fucking worshiped the ground you strut on Paul, I've been there for you, being the Imprint I thought I was meant to be. And it's not a fucking leash Paul, it's respect for the person you're in a relationship with," you take a breather and blink away the tears in your eyes.
"You sure don't mind the imprint when you're profiting from it. You're selfish and a bully and I wish I could leave your ass stranded somewhere or run you over with my car, but even the thought of hurting you is killing ME right now. I don't know why I'm not enough for you, but from this point on I'm done apologizing for it. When you regret this later, I hope the guilt eats you up and spits you out because I've been walking on egg-shells up to now trying to be the perfect girl for you. At least now I know for sure that you will never love and value me as much as I do you. I'm finished being the only one fighting for our relationship. I know it would kill you to stay away from me physically, but emotionally and mentally, we've never been so far apart."
You're proud to have finished speaking without a single tear shed, but you hold your breath waiting for Paul's reaction. Quil breaks the suffocating silence by standing from the table applauding, at least before the death looks you all give him has him retreating back into his seat. Paul's eyes go nearly black and you try not to flinch as he suddenly pushes away from the table. All the dishes would have hit the floor from the force if not for the fast acting werewolves sitting around. And when Paul takes a step towards you, Embry Jake and Leah jump up to put themselves between you and him. It infuriates Paul, how dare they step in between him and his MATE! He's ready to tear them to pieces, shaking violently when Sam cuts in.
"ENOUGH. Paul go get your ass outside, when I come out there you're going to learn some respect."
Even in his most primal state, Paul knows better than to disobey an Alpha's order. You watch as he stomps through the door to outside. You listen to him roar as he changes but all you feel right now is numb. Sam and Emily offer you their spare room, as does Kim, but you gently reject their offers. You do the same as each of the boys offer to drive you home, but no you tell them you simply would like to be alone to think. You go through the motions of everyone giving you hugs, each time it gets harder to hold back your tears. Emily's motherly kiss on your head and Sam's bear hug is the hardest to resist, but soon you're in the confines of your car and driving away from the quaint little home.
You're only 3 minutes down the road when adrenaline stops coursing through your veins. You pull to the side of the road as the tears blur your vision and the sobs rip from your throat. You've never been so angry and hurt, but most of all you felt scared. Scared you were stuck in this shitty relationship for the rest of your life, with somebody who didn't even want you- aside from forced emotions from a spiritual force. You scream and hit your wheel, you scream at Paul, at yourself you scream and sob till your voice is course and your throat is sore.
You don't see the silver wolf watching you from the dark woods around your car. But he hears every word every gut clenching sob, and it's like a knife to his heart. Paul knows he fucked up, of course he didn't mean any of the nasty things he spewed, but that thought doesn't quell the nauseousness in his stomach at making you cry. He wants to phase back and rip your car door open to pull you into his arms. He wants to kiss those tears away and chase away all the betrayal you're feeling right now, but he has a lesson to learn. His wolf wants nothing more than for Sam to kick his ass right now, but only after he makes sure you're going to be okay to go home.
You're reduced to a hiccuping mess when your vision clears, and you reluctantly begin the drive home ready to crawl into your bed and sleep this mess away. As you drive off into the night, you can't help the stray tear that falls as you hear a pained howl that echos down to your very core.
The Right Track (Sequel Of Love Hate F****** Heartbreak)
Fandom: Twilight
Pairing: Paul x reader
Summary: After the night of which you and Paul’s arguements reached a new low, you deal with the aftermath in your own way. What will happen when your imprint appears and you must now face the anguish the both of you have suffered from a 'needed’ time apart.
PART ONE
When you fell into restless sleep as you finally got home that fateful night, you promised yourself that you would not give in to the call of your imprint. He needs to learn his lesson, and you've been doing well for nearly a week now. You've been avoiding Emily's and Kim's and even the beach. You felt bad at first for seemingly ignoring your friends, but you knew that they understood your stand of silence and they were all proud of you for finally sticking up for yourself. Every night, Emily would call to check up on you and your heart would clench when you could hear his begging in the background.
"Is that (Y/N)? Let me talk to her! Please, baby please talk to me!"
Tears would stream down your face and you would hang up automatically. Then about 5 days in, the pain of the distance from your wolf sets in at full force. You whimper and toss and turn at night, and past your cries you could hear a wolf howl in pain as well. It's killing you to be away from him, but you couldn't bare to go back to how things were. No fucking way. Day 7 is when it seems he's had enough of you distancing yourself. You're in the shower, numbly going through the motions of your personal hygiene when your curtain is ripped back and you shriek.
Your jaw falls open at how wrecked your boyfriend looks right now. His eyes are red and bloodshot with heavy bugs under his eyes. His normal copper skin a now sickly shade of grey, and he hasn't shaved. You shudder when you look into his eyes, you've never seen Paul look so feral. You stay silent, not knowing how to handle the situation at the moment. He hands you your towel before stepping away so you could get out. The tension is suffocating, and you find yourself trembling as you brush past him into your bedroom.
He stands in the doorway, brooding. You don't pay him any mind as you dig through drawers to find a new set of clothes, suddenly feeling vulnerable while only being clad in a towel. His gaze nearly scorches you and he finally sighs before plopping down on the edge of your bed.
"Just tell me what I can do to make this better."
You don't answer for a moment, collecting your thoughts.
"Listen Paul I-. I just need time."
You hear the bed creek and suddenly two tanned arms wrap around your waist. You flinch and hurry to put some distance between you and the temperamental wolf of yours. You don't need to look at Paul to know the very hurt expression that most certainly covers his face as of now.
"And space."
You turn to walk back into the bathroom, yearning for privacy to dress when his hoarse voice shatters the tense silence.
"No."
You stop and turn to look at him, a little pissed and a lot confused. Paul takes merely two steps into your personal space, chest to- well your chest only reaches his upper torso. His eyes are only burning black, his whole body tensed. You ache to reach out and gently smooth the creases from his face, but your pride and wounded-self holds you back.
"What the hell do you mean no?"
"I mean," he grabs you around your waist to pull you into his embrace to bury his face into your hair, "No."
And then he crashes his lips into yours for a bruising kiss. You struggle in his hold, trying not to succumb to the siren call of the annoying ass imprint bond. Paul breaks the kiss, but only holds you tighter so you cannot get away from him. It takes you a moment to register the shaking and the deep breaths. You only struggle harder and finally he relents, you taking an immediate step back.
"I swear to fucking god, Paul, if you shift in my- oh my god are you crying?"
Paul just stares back at you with tears running down his face before he collapses to the ground in gut-wrenching sobs. You open and close your mouth a few times before moving closer your despairing soulmate, and he immediately grabs your hips and buries his face into your stomach.
"Please, please, don't push me away anymore. I'll do anything baby, I really will. Just not that. Please don't make me be alone, I can't even breath without you. It hurts so bad," his tearful mumbles and little hiccups break your resistance and you find yourself stroking through his hair while gently soothing him.
"Shh, shh. You're not alone Paul, you still have the pack," he lifts his face from your now tear-sodden towel and the look of utter hopelessness steals both your words and your breath away.
"It's not the same. Please (Y/N), you can't say you haven't felt it too. I just miss you so bad. I miss you sleeping next to me, and the way you smile and laugh at my dumb jokes. Please, I promise I'll be good."
Damn, imprint.
"Alright, Paul, I won't push you away anymore," He jumps up to pull you into his arms but you hold up a hand to signal that you weren't through talking yet. Paul's tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, nervously, and you have to look away to clear your train of thought.
"We are going to set a few boundaries though." Paul nods enthusiastically and pulls you to sit next to him on the bed.
"Number one, no more alcohol. You have no filter sober, so lets not test your motormouth anymore. Number two, no more degrading comments or orders. Last time I checked, I am not your bitch, so don't treat me like one. I'm not fetching you beers or being your punching bag for when you can't handle shit. Number three," You nervously glance up at his sincere eyes for this next one, "no sex. For a while." You can see his reaction, his form turning rigid. This one would definitely be a challenge, but hey it wasn't just going to be hard for him. Since Paul is no good at expressing his feelings, he often uses sex to communicate his inner emotions. So with no sex, he's taken out of his comfort zones and forced to man up and talk shit out.
"I'm not just saying that to be a jerk, Paul. Believe me, it's hard for me as well. But even though my body physically reacts to you and the bond, I'm just not ready mentally to be intimate with you yet. You really hurt me, and distancing myself from the throes of passion is the only chance at salvaging this relationship." You finally look at him, gauging his reaction to whether or not to move any fragile items from his arms' reach. He stays tense for a moment, eyes burning a hole into your worn down rug but finally he turns to you with a guarded expression.
"Alright. But with one condition," you raise your eye-brow and straighten your posture.
"I get to sleep in your bed with you at night. Don't even look at me like that, I damn well know that you haven't slept well in days and neither have I. So before both of us lose our minds, just concede to that at least."
You can't help the tick of your jaw as you catch the slight order, but you know he's right and his cocky ass already knows it too.
"Glad to see the confident side of you again love," you roll your eyes, " _fine,_but no funny business Lahote. I mean it."
Before he could say anything else, you pull your clothes to your chest and walk into your bathroom. Paul shakes his head with a chuckle and a small smile, hopeful that he and you were on the right track again.
"Wouldn't dream of it baby!" He calls as he finally relaxes into your blankets, the smell of you instantly chasing away the dark loneliness that he's been plagued with ever since the night he fucked up. And even though you're trying to restrain yourself from jumping back into the madness that is Paul Lahote, you allow your self a similar hopeful smile in the bathroom mirror.
The right track indeed...
Taglist:
@redgirl818 @kennie-hufflepuff @reallykosborne @cookiecakeslive
Depressed deer. 😌
I love how palpable the emotion is in this drawing. You can feel Ed’s anger melting away into confusion, regret, and sadness; you can feel Oswald’s deep hurt (emotional as well as physical) but you can also feel how his love for Ed overpowers it and turns it to forgiveness. It’s like a summary of the twists and turns of their relationship all in one art piece, dark but surprisingly hopeful. It’s painful and beautiful and lovely and definitely among my favorites; this is one of those drawings I’ve just stared at for an extended period of time while listening to music.
Here to deliver more angst. Really hope we at least get a kiss out of the disaster that is going to unfold in the next few episodes.
This is so gorgeous and emotional and dramatic! I haven’t watched the Netflix finale yet--I guess I’m saving it for a little bit--but I’ll never forget all the feels I felt reading the beach scene in The End, back before “feels” was even a thing people said. This song beautifully captures all of those emotions and gives me plenty of its own. I’m pretty sure it gave me goosebumps although I admit it is also a bit chilly in here. But the emotion in the lyrics and the singer’s voice are certainly goosebump-worthy!
Also, FYI, the volume is fine on my end. It sounds lovely!
Edit: I realize now that I was using my cheap headphones when I wrote this; they’re not great headphones and so I always have to turn the volume up on things to compensate. I just didn’t realize that I wasn’t turning the volume up for this song. So, yes, the volume is indeed loud. It’s not hard to deal with though, and this is still a gorgeous song. I was listening to it on repeat at work the other day.
I think it’s best to listent to it at low volume because I still can’t use garage band properly and the volumes are wrong
Kit and Olaf love story was my insipiration for this song, they are one of my first ship and it felt like a nice way to honor it.
I hope you enjoy it. I’ll be posting the lyrics in a reblog so keep an eye open. also as soon as I’ll fix the volumes I’ll be putting it on band camp.
This almost made me tear up. This was such a fantastic twist to Annabelle’s origin story! When Taliesin’s character first came in I hated him so much (the character; obviously I love Taliesin) because we believe, like Annabelle, that he straight up murdered her and then just left her to figure out how to be a vampire on her own. But man, the reveal that she died in her own fire and he saved her the only way he could? All of the feels.
Then, of course, the way that Jasper just cares about her so much, and how he works to keep her grounded through this whole emotional interaction, and the way that he points out that she shouldn’t discount herself as a casualty of the cause she believes in... He just cares for her so deeply, in his subtle, quiet way. He gave me so many feels with just a single word.
victor: you FIREBOMBED a sentor’s building?!?
carver: it was beautiful
annabelle: nobody got hurt!
jasper, so softly i could barely hear him over the crosstalk: you
Danny Briere (left) and sons Carson (center), 13, and Caelan, 14, leave the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees on Thursday. / Zack Hill/Flyers PR (x)
really bringing out my emo feels rn
Short tangent.
I personally love coming home to see all these gifs of BTS on my feed. It literally makes me so happy and whenever I open Tumblr it's like someone just told me I was beautiful it's literally the same feeling. So, taking the time to enjoy something that much, is really nice and I enjoy life during this era where BTS exists. Where ARMY exists.
Where I live, a lot of people in my social circles, including my parents, are really opposed to anything Asian because it's "weird" And "You shouldn't like that because of what they did in history" Which that point in and of itself because America has done worse and will do worse. Shaming something I like just because of where it comes from is like telling a giraffe its' neck is too short. Both make no sense.
Now, I do continue to be embarrassed because these people do shame me for it. I don't talk about BTS in mixed company or try to make people change their opinions because it's best to leave those who are stubborn behind in my opinion. But despite me being ragged on about how "you don't understand what they're saying" Or "Didn't they do awful shit in WWII" Etc, I still find that this fandom has made me feel so secure in its' message, and the people in it are among the most amazing people I know.
What I'm saying is, it's sad to have to be one person some place, and another person inside yourself for the sake of others. And I wouldn't do it if I had a choice. But ARMYs always make this girl with windblown hair and mud-caked Ariats feel beautiful.
I 💜 U ARMY & BTS
Reblog if you've ever experienced this in RP or any kind of writing
*Ugly sobbing*
Why love Nikki why
i don’t like how endings in real life come on so suddenly without making sense, without much warning. one minute you’re in the middle of something and the next it’s all a very long time ago and you’re a different person and none of it is ever coming back
What If... Zombies
Spoilers for What If... Zombies
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Wow. So I just watched What If... Zombies and just wow. Marvel really is dead set on ripping my heart to shreds arn’t they. It’s really strange to see how carelessly they kill off characters in these episodes. In movies they hold on to characters till they can’t anymore but in this show... they can kill them off over and over and over again because it’s the multiverse. They can do whatever they want.
Ok but what they did with Bucky and Steve. Bucky having to kill Steve to help save the world? Thats a strong echo of CA:TWS when he almost killed Steve to destroy the world. Also, Bucky is my favorite character so his death hit but as soon as Steve died I should have realized he was gonna go down too. Seeing them stand against each other, one unintentionally trying to destroy the world and the other having to fight his longest and best friend to save it? It was a painful subversion of the beginning of the helicarrier fight. They really be giving me all the feels.
Also Peter? Holly sh*t marvel can you please give the boi a break? Seriously. Hearing him talk about all that he’s lost and how he needs to just keep smiling hit me pretty hard. I’ve been struggling with activist burnout recently and have had a really hard time being at all hopeful for the future. So his speech just hit a chord with me. Anyways sorry for the rant.
-Phoenix
Feelings??
Tell me
Goddamnit
Get up and answer
These questions
That decided
To lay waste to my mind
Because
My heart got tired
Of speeding up
Slowly racing
Every heart wrenching moment
Wasted
On another person
Who saw me
As nothing more
Than a stepping stone
I tried
For fuck's sake
I gave my all
And for what
What did I get in return
Besides overlapping scars
Broken trust
And my personal favorite
Shattered desire
I was thrown
Into a spiraling landslide
Of overwhelming emotions
All of which
I couldn't understand
I don't want
To love you
Since you clearly
Don't know how
To love
And I'm not
I'm not even mad
I hate it
This forgiveness
Floods from the depths
Of my despair
As if the scars
And confusion
You caused
Never happened
I look up
At my ceiling
As the cars
Rush by
Tires screech
As if they have
Somewhere to be
In the middle of the night
Or maybe
They are running
Like I am
From the truth
And the street lights
Numbingly illuminate
My bedroom
Through cracked blinds
Allowing the muddled hues
To paint my walls
I wanted
To be ok
Claim to be unbothered
As if you
Had no hold on me
All of my confidence
That has been slowly dwindling
Flailing embers
Dancing further
From hell’s flame
Suddenly vanishes
And I hear it
The cries
My damn cries
These choked out sobs
Being muffled
By pillowcases
Soaked in my desperation
For a feeling of acceptance
As my body
Curls into itself
Trying to hide
From the voices
That scream
Inside my own head
Tell me
You
You
You
You didn't mean it right
That everything
We went through
Holds no value
In your heart
And I was never
Even a glimmer overlooked
In your manufactured world
Carefully crafted
To benefit you
And you alone
Please
I don't want
Empty promises
Made
By a broken soul
I don't care
If you don't like
Certain parts of me
And desire change
I will not
Destroy the few pieces
Of my identity
To force myself
Into the mold
Of your lover
When I clearly
Am not the one
When your issues
Become greater than mine
When all you see
Is what I
Can do
For you
Then don't bother me
I'm going to leave
Watch as my back
Fades into the distance
The shackles
You placed around me
Clank against
The floor
I don't have the time
The patience
The heart
To deal with this
I bled myself out
And the hollow feeling
That resides in my chest
As I search
For the steady beat
Of my dismantled heart
Inside its bony cage
A soul
Drowning in blood
Beautiful crimson waves
Choking it out
Darkened by frostbite
Of a frozen world
Each cold shoulder
Feeling as if
A refreshing summer breeze
Is warming me up
Ever so slightly
As I float
In nothingness
My world
Has faded out
Drained of all color
No longer
Am I able
To enjoy the beauty
Of a sunrise
Or dawdle in the peace
Of a sunset
I reach out
Palm facing hell
As fingertips poke
At the heavens
As if trying
To remind myself
That I am still
Among the living
But without love
Not from myself
Not from others
Is this really
What it means
To be alive
Or am I merely existing
Pointlessly exhausting myself
Trying to forge a path
And call it my own
Before I close my eyes
And rest
Never to be bothered
Ever again
A. Simone
Foolish Lover
Thinking
Times were ok
But it's not
How longing for you
The simplest of conversations
Have rendered the mind immobile
Staring at the ceiling
Of a room
Dimly lit
By the faded light
As it passes
From the tv screen
To pale walls
Watching
As a heart breaks
It's always
Painful
Forcing down
These damned crystalline tears
Streaming down rosy cheeks
Flushed features accented
By choked sobs
Desperate cries
Muffled by drenched pillows
The moon tries
To shine light
Through tight-lipped blinds
But it's muted
Constantly silenced
As the body
Collapses into itself
The heart shatters
And the soul grows bland
But that heart
Belonging to a fool
Still chasing love
Hoping one day
That maybe
Love will be kind
And the heart can rest
Arms wrapped around a fool
Since the fool
Has found home
In the arms of their lover
A. Simone