Perfect Body - Tumblr Posts

This is the best chest I have seen on Tumblr up to now. PERFECTION. 😍

Panel 1407, Chapter 95 (The World of Stars and Stripes - Outro)

Diego count: 1438

If your ass doesn’t have an angle of exactly 111°, don’t talk to me.

yummy!!

He is way too handsome and sexy.

ok so this is literally me as of like a month or so ago taking a post gym selfie....As you can clearly tell I'm not in the most fit of shape as highlighted by my manboobs and double chin. But I'm working on it...mostly...except for following a diet or removing soda from my life....ok so basically I'm failing the biggest step to fitness plausible. Eating clean. Now this has been the prevailing hiccup in my life since i found out about ten years ago that i was prone to high LDL cholesterol from a routine test at my doctors (btw I'm  Canadian, so yay free health care!). So why am i bringing this to my Tumblr in of my very rare non-reblogging posts? Well there are a few reasons for this starting with possibly one of the most irritating and frustrating points of my life: Im a university student living away from home, in my hometown, working on my now third Bachelors degrees in Psychology (i wanna be a therapist/counsellor cause i basically already do this with my friends and I'm good at reading peoples emotional states aka High emotional intelligence). Now for those who don’t fully comprehend what this means, here’s the long and short of it: IM studying to understand people in order to better understand what causes their behaviour so i can help them let go of some of the things that are detrimental to their wellbeing. 

How does this Relate to me? well the major problem is that in understanding some of the root causes of addictions I'm also keenly aware of how that plays out in my life as well. For instance, I can say with 100% certainty that i have an emotional dependance on Coca-Cola Cola; Stressed: Cola! Tired: Cola! Just worked out and now eating: COLA!!!!!!

So yeah physical addiction pretty much guaranteed without need for professional diagnosis. But to stop there would be only part of the point id like to make. Furthermore one of my main habits in every day life is to come onto this wonderful nightmarish zoo/compendium/website to peruse for interesting witchcraft stuff, crystals, porn, and of course GYM MOTIVATION!!!! So here’s where my current problem starts: i understand that the internet is a place of extreme amounts of information/misinformation, i also understand that porn is an idealized crafted set of scenarios that realistically would never happen in real world life, thirdly I'm very aware that the fitness industry FOR MEN presents a highly unattainable and very narrow view of how men look/want to look/should look/ etc. And yes before i get attacked by angry people and feminazis, i understand that the female side of the equation is probably just as bad or even worse....its been scientifically proven to be strongly correlated with eating disorders, body image issues, etc. But the point of this post is to talk about me and my problems (yes there are many i won't go into but lets focus on these ones for now) as an out Gay CIS-gendered male who is overweight by about 50 lbs. Wow even writing that made me cringe....seriously I'm just a gay caucasion male who's got the perpetual problem of carrying too much visceral/abdominal fat.

The effect the mass media, including websites and apps such as Tumblr Twitter Snapchat etc., has on the idea of the male body in men is just beginning to be studied. The main reason it hasn’t been an issue is that you either sucked it up that you would never amount to the “norm” as a man or you fell into that category by choice behaviours or naturally gifted genetics. New studies done in the psychology field have discovered that men suffer from body dysmorphia at almost as an alarming rate as females including using many of the same methods to try and conform. So why am i harping on this? because these studies are focused primarily on heterosexual college age and up men in north america. everyday dudes who are just trying to be attractive to the sex they prefer, be in shape for sports, or just don't want to die due to health complications. To quote @DaveyWavey this effect is even more difficult to deal with for gay men because “ Its not just other’s bodies we’re objectifying, its our own”. Which for me is problematic because as an intellectual/scholarly/self-aware person i realize that all of the advertisements, fitness blogs, porn is literally just bullshit put up for everyone to see.

Why do i call it literal bullshit? because it doesn't show the rest of the story. Those models we see or even the Instagram dudes with protruding pecs and washboard stomachs are people who dedicate hours of their time every day to maintaining the lifestyle to look that way. 90% of the images used in ads are photoshopped and the models starve and dehydrate themselves for days just before one photoshoot. Now Leatherverse, you say, but there are perfectly normal people who don’t look that way. Yes you are correct, but how many of them are actually made to feel that their body shape is ok without being patronized as being “big boned”? One of the most infuriating things for me is that i can on an ordinary day at university see what the general trends of health are in regards to body shape. IN the last 10 years in my small little corner of Canada, sorry North Dakota if we flood you again, Men’s body shapes have shifted to be as lean or as muscular as is humanly possible and still maintain a college party lifestyles and a standard passing GPA. I can say with great confidence that I am one of the outliers, the outsiders, the fat kids. Even worse is the fact that i am one of most overweight looking Caucasian men in most of my classes the last  years running. In a university in central Canada where the large majority of the student population is not caucasian, i am the proverbial fat gay white man who can't hide except in oversized clothing that just give me away anyhow.

SO here i am: an intelligent male who understand the nature of eating healthy, has the means to do so, but has problems fitting in because i can't diet without suffering from migraines due to sugar and caffeine withdrawal. Why am i like this you ask? predominantly because i was brought up as a well taken care of ( read spoiled) young white male from the privileged Social-Economic Status group. I mean i could go ahead and blame it on my primary stressor of school, but i have several thousand examples to prove school anxiety is not the only source. I could also blame the fact that my family runs a franchise that is expanding which causes my work schedule to be erratic and driven by just above minimum wage salary. Coincidentally most of the diets I've tried to follow are nightmare to even attempt on a retail based work schedule that can change at the drop of a hat while also attempting university. So what is the problem with me?

Well the answer is really just a basic one: i don’t understand how to do it all. No I'm not talking about working out or even the approach to healthy eating. Im talking about being able to micromanage my personal feelings in order to create a better mental and physical health for myself. I will be the first to admit that my time management skills suck, beyond procrastinating assignments then finishing the night before due dates. I am perfectly capable of putting the right food in my fridge so that i don't have many snacks that would be considered unhealthy. Im perfectly capable of taking my butt to the gym and putting it through a workout. I am perfectly aware that my mental health deeply affects my physical health. I am perfectly capable of having friendships that benefit my general well being. I am perfectly capable of handling my academic endeavours. But what i am coming to grips with is that I do not know how to manage all of these aspects all at the same time. Because I'm a spoiled child i was often allowed to stress eat sweets and salty fatty foods, a pattern that was not discouraged by my family until it became known that i had health problems. I was encouraged to play sports such as Church league basketball, local soccer, and football in high school. To say i did not take to physical activity like a sponge to water would be like saying the ocean is damp, despite being given the opportunity to do so with cohorts of my own generation. Was it a sign of the times for growing up in the early 90′s as  late 80′s born child? Probably. The first major thrust of what i now call the fitness knowledge movement did not occur in the general populace until almost the turn of the millennium. Did i have friends who were fit and active? yep i did. was best friends with two guys who had police parents who took them to the gym occasionally. i was offered a chance on some occasions to join them after school. i refused because i wanted to just go home and enjoy myself. A trend which has continued and overlapped with several key formative points of my life that have culminated in the body i now possess and detest.

Do i own up to the fact that i could change it bit by bit? yes. Do i own up to the fact that it is definitely of my own causation? yep for sure, im a stress eating fat kid. My psychology classes have clearly shown me that I'm definitely an addict to some things in my life that i use to distract from personalized acute and chronic stress. So why am i bitching like some sad sorry high school girl after a bad weekend out? Because i honestly don't want to look at myself at 30 and not want to go out just because my clothes fit tightly over my stomach. And frankly maybe i need a little help trying to figure out how better to approach my situation. Trying to bring up ones GPA, while having a family franchise expand, while trying to change ones body composition drastically all at the same time isn't working. Why? maybe because I'm trying to change too much all at once. maybe because i fear what will become of me should my body succumb to risk factors that get more dangerous every year my body fat percentage is too high for my stature. Or just maybe because I'm tired of feeling like the lone outsider trying desperately to be like everyone else while knowing the image i crave to be is a partially unattainable lie. 

If you could leave some helpful comments  (positive criticisms only please; Positive Mental Attitude 2018) would be greatly appreciated. Im very aware that my page is pretty much exclusively followed by Porn BOTS but maybe if people see this they can offer something which may lead to more positive things/people/places.

Dad got a new phone

and we get along just fine

Beefy butt

are you fucking kidding me ?

Love Dad’s belly

Sniff sniff Dad

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