Plus Another Installment Of - Tumblr Posts

4.27 pm / 1.10.24

*to be a monster, loved...

darling, my world is filled with storms tougher than any you've ever seen. i would hate to see you flooded before you get a chance to swim.

/

all i've known is anger. my lips have frozen into a snarl before i could learn to speak. my skin has been on fire since i've opened my eyes. there is more bad about me than good, and i'm only trying to save you from the wrath that usually follows behind me. i've pushed you away, but you always came back with a calm smile and a steady hand, surrendering yourself to the potential danger. no matter the damage, you remained. you remained.

/

my grip upon the ledge of the cliff was tight and my nails broke into the earth. every shift had me whimpering at the thought of falling, so i learned to yell. i yelled and yelled, but no one came to help. until you. you reached your hand over the ledge and pulled me up onto the land. you stayed with me as i learned to breathe, as i learned to walk. you held me up until i could move on my own again. now, every deep breath that fills my lungs reminds me of you.

/

my teeth drip of blood; your eyes drip of honey.

/

i came into your town like a tornado. all that remains is destruction and the smell of grief. in this, i revel and bare my teeth. then, the sun rises and you take my hand. the baring and ugliness of my teeth upturn into a smile. you bring me back.

note: there were times, and some moments even now, that i would look at myself in the mirror and feel something akin to despair. i couldn't even look into my own eyes without wanting to scream, "unloved! unwanted! monster!" i think all i want is someone to take care of me, to be patient with me, to see the ugliness of me and not run away, to get close enough but not fear my canines. though, to get close to someone is frightening, but i think that if someone can still love something feral, how hard is it to love me?