RAHGGG This Shit Makes Me Feel So Fuckin Mad - Tumblr Posts
little different then what i usually post about but a bit pissed off and honestly just a rant
Alright, basically for context, I guess: Autism, ASD, ADHD, dyslexia, etc. (but autism is important for this rant) runs both sides in my family; we're all VERY neurodivergent. Though we're usually high-functioning and can mask well, it's still very visible. (like the magnet thing where neurodivergent people make friends with neurodivergent people because they're like drawn to them,, or something??? I like to call it 'your people finder')
The rant: In my life, I've been diagnosed with ADHD, and I am currently on medication, though something we've noticed is that I'm also showing signs of high-functioning autism. which is like, 'Oh cool, I guess I should get tested because, honestly, why haven't I before? I'm most likely going to get a positive result, and I think a diagnosis would help my 504 and shit.' So I went through the testing, which was honestly really… weird? I felt like I was being tested on only one end of the spectrum to see if I had a good reaction time, if I could read social cues, and if I could decipher figures of speech. Which was like alright, okay, I guess that's some signs that should be written down, important knowledge, I guess. So I get my results in,, waiting 3 weeks for this,, did 1000+ questions for this,, did 3 hours of testing for this,, to turn up as negative. I'm not upset I got negative. I'm not one to glorify autism or make up some shit to feel special. I'm upset because I've been looking through the diagnosis system, and the place I live has a mindset of 'you're only autistic if you flap your hands, can't pick up on how the other person is feeling, you're good at noticing patterns, etc.' or just that low-functioning autism is the only way of autism and that's not fucking okay??? I understand how autism has not been around for like a really long time (which is actually very interesting; I would recommend reading about Donald Triplett), and we really only have studies on male-bodied people (which is a whole thing about how autism is represented differently in different sexes), but it's actually hard to get an autism diagnosis. Like if you're male-bodied or female-bodied, and especially if you're an intersexed person. (Like, come on, dude, it's already hard enough for one sex to be severely undiagnosed, but two?? Really??) Though, I guess I give props for them noticing I have ADHD and saying I most likely have anxiety and a small chance of OCD.
Conclusion: I don't give a fuck if I'm not autistic or not; this diagnosis system needs to change. At least where I'm from; I'm not sure how it is in other places.
SORRY ABOUT THE LONG ASS RANT, and thanks for reading!! Please don't feel the need to respond or comfort to this, I'm just sharing my frustration.
Adding: I know self diagnosing (the one that's actually well educated not the tiktok shit where they spread misinformation so they can get attention) is common due to this, I just wish shit like this was more.. easy? Like easy to go though the process of getting an actual diagnosis, or even the chance to get one. Which, I am lucky to have that chance of at least getting tested, I admit.