Random Funny Shit - Tumblr Posts

11 months ago

HELP i think i just found the funniest thing ever


Tags :
10 months ago

where is transgender flag "I'M TOO FAT FOR THIS HEAT"


Tags :
10 months ago

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.


Tags :
10 months ago

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell


Tags :
10 months ago

ive officially decided to stop trying to label myself. if anybody asks, my gender is “who gives a fuck”


Tags :
10 months ago

OH MY GOD


Tags :
10 months ago

Two days ago my husband said "...and he was pissed" and I said "don't say that around the kids!" so he corrected himself to "and he was liquid angry" and I've been laughing since


Tags :
10 months ago

Talking about Shakespearean plays reminds me of a funny story from english class my freshman year of high school

We were reading Julius Caesar as a class and different people were assigned different roles to read aloud

Anyway this one guy got to the line “What, Lucius, ho!” (as in “hey, Lucius, where are you”)

Well apparently this guy had never seen The Incredibles or read Harry Potter because he did not know the name Lucius

And so this teenager said, in front of 25 other teenagers and our teacher

“What luscious ho!”

Needless to say, we all died laughing, including the teacher who was probably also regretting her career choices


Tags :
10 months ago

Me on the ice rink for the first time


Tags :
10 months ago

Evil wizard casting testicular torsion on their hated foe, except the hero is a trans man, so all it does is turn their packer upside-down.


Tags :
10 months ago

is pickles old enough in cat years to be eligible to run for president

Is Pickles Old Enough In Cat Years To Be Eligible To Run For President
Is Pickles Old Enough In Cat Years To Be Eligible To Run For President
Is Pickles Old Enough In Cat Years To Be Eligible To Run For President
Is Pickles Old Enough In Cat Years To Be Eligible To Run For President

Following the withdrawal of Joe Biden from the 2024 Presidential Race, the DNC has nominated Jimmy “Pickles” Hoffa to run as the Democratic nominee for President


Tags :
10 months ago

I was thinking about this just the other day

Nothing is stopping you from naming your character FuckFace McGee

The only thing stopping you is your own pure cowardice

you can just name your characters anything. you can name them Printer. you can name them Shnorpty. you can name them There Are Pillars. and peoppe will just have to accept it.


Tags :
10 months ago
Goddamn Gender Inflation, Cant Have Shit These Days

goddamn gender inflation, can’t have shit these days


Tags :