Reconciling With My Feelings - Tumblr Posts

Connect Two

Disclaimers: I don't own Coca-Cola (obviously) and I also don't own the gif I used for my header (double obviously) 😁 Creator is credited.

A Note from Kutemouse: I know, I know, I'm supposed to be working on my several Works-in-Progress, not something new. In my defense, I recently attended my class reunion and had a lot of feelings surrounding it, hence this piece of work. JK's character is a lot like the guy I was in love with for all of high school, someone I recently cleared the air with.

This work is raw and unedited (except for a brief spellcheck), so hope you enjoy kutie pies 💜

Age Recommendation: 16+ This is a pretty tame one, kuties.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, High School AU

Warnings: Swears, duh. That's honestly about it. Like I said, tame.

Word Count:

Summary: A party brings you and your old classmates together, including him. Can you reconcile with your feelings?

Master List​

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Connect Two (Angst, Fluff)

The party was, in a word, loud.

Just the way you liked it.

You and your best friends, Roseanne and Lisa, were standing near the couch, sharing drinks, laughing, talking.

“What about him?” Roseanne asked, her Aussie accent piercing through your jumbled thoughts. She raised her finger to a guy who had just entered the room.

You shook your head in disgust. “Ugh, not that guy. I remember him. All he wanted from girls was their virginity.”

“He isn’t even that cute,” Lisa muttered as the said guy in question walked past, tossing a wink towards you and your friends.

You visibly shuddered. “Believe me, you don’t want to touch him with a ten-foot pole.”

“Yeah Rosé,” Lisa teased. “What’s with your taste in guys tonight?”

She tossed a dazed smile back. “Apparently I’m way too drunk to pick anyone.”

“And why are we doing this again?” you sighed. “Thank you guys for your concern, but I don’t need or want to date anyone right now.”

“Who said anything about dating?” Rosé retorted.

“Yeah, fuck that noise,” Lisa added. “We’re trying to find someone for you to spend the night with.”

“I don’t think so,” you muttered, taking a sip from your cup in the hopes that it would help you tolerate your besties’ antics.

You had been invited to a party near your parents’ house by some old schoolmates, where you knew several people from your class would likely show up. So far, you hadn’t seen too many people you knew, but the ones you did were ones you only knew in passing. You had transferred into your school only three years before graduating. Everyone else had formed their own friends and cliques, and you had different tastes than most of the student population, anyway. Where was your group of nerdy, animé-loving schoolmates?

Oh, that’s right. There were only three of you, and the other two lived abroad, leaving you here to fend for yourself. You were just glad that he wasn’t here. You hadn’t seen him since graduation five years ago, and ever since then, you’d been rehearsing the same speech over and over in your mind.

I’m sorry.

Lisa audibly gasped, gripping your arm tight. “Where?” Rosé asked, looking over your shoulder. She too loudly gasped and grabbed your other arm.

“What?” you asked, glancing between their faces. “What?!”

Lisa slowly raised a finger, pointing behind you. You looked over your shoulder to see him walking by. “Shit!” you mumbled, turning quickly back around, heat rising to your cheeks. Of course. Just when you thought you were in the clear.

Rosé looked at you incredulously. “Wait, Y/n, do you… know him?”

To say the least. You had only spent every single minute of those three years in love with him. Back then, he had cherry red hair that did nothing to take away from his bright, shy smile and the ever-present mischievous sparkle in his dark eyes. You remembered the first time you met him.

You were standing in line with your best guy friend, Hoseok, to get food. The crowd inside the gymnasium was tumultuous with all their chattering, cheering, cat-calling. You were glad to get a reprieve from the noise, even if it was brief.

“Hey, Jungkook!” Hoseok called out. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hey Hobi,” a quiet voice said back. You turned to see him, a shy smile on his face as he stuck his hands in his trouser pockets. His dark eyes slid over to you, giving you a curious once-over. And just like that, every wall you had up fell. You had to get to know this boy.

“Oppa,” you muttered, nudging Hoseok.

“What?”

“Introduce us,” you hissed.

Hoseok smirked. “Jeon Jungkook, this is L/n Y/n.”

You turned and gave him a bright smile, which on second thought, might not have been the best thing. Jungkook looked extremely nervous. “H-Hi,” he stammered out, his voice cracking.

However, you were determined not to let his shyness get in the way of what could potentially be an epic romance.

“Hi,” you said back, holding out your hand. He took it gingerly, his grip gentle as your intertwined hands briefly touched.

You shook the memory away, your hair falling into your face. “Oh my god, you do know him,” Rosé said. “No way. Were you friends?”

“You should introduce us,” Lisa added, twirling her hair around her finger.

“Not a fucking chance,” you muttered. You tipped your cup into your mouth only to find it frustratingly empty. “Hang on, I need another drink.”

You made your way to the kitchen, stumbling slightly, when you saw him talking to another girl, laughing and smiling that bright, wide smile. Damn him. He looked even better than he had back in school, which was saying something. His jet-black hair matured him in a way that made your knees weak, casually falling over his left eye and giving him a sultry look. Tattoos now covered his arms and hands, along with a new piercing that went through his right eyebrow. “Holy fuck,” you thought. You placed a hand over your chest as your heart flipped over itself much in the same way it had eight years ago when you saw him for the first time. No longer was his grin shy and withdrawn, but confident and fearless.

His eyes shifted in your direction, connecting with your gaze for a few seconds before sliding back over to the girl he was talking to. Just that small exchange left you reeling. It was like nothing had changed. You still felt that same invisible string connecting both your souls together, tugging you towards him despite you using all your strength to break it. But you knew he didn’t feel the same way.

“Hey guys,” Jungkook said, averting his gaze as he opened his door and gestured inside.

“Hey JK,” Hoseok said. “Ready to have your ass kicked?”

“You wish,” Jungkook shot back, tossing Hoseok a small grin. “H-Hey Y/n.”

“Hey.”

You bit your lip to contain the grin threatening to cover your entire face. After that day at the game, you, Jungkook, Hoseok, and a couple of other guys had sat at the same table for lunch. One of your favorite things to do was to play board games or card games during your break, but what you all looked forward to the most was playing video games together.

You were okay, kind of ranging in the middle of the pack, but it was one of the only ways you could spend time with Jungkook. You loved who he became while you were playing video games. He turned from a shy, soft-spoken teenager to someone who knew what he was doing and knew he was good at it. Really good.

“On your left,” he called, directing you and Hoseok effortlessly. You glanced at him. He’d dyed his hair to an attractive brunette, and had obtained a couple new ear piercings. You inhaled sharply as he bit his lip in concentration, eyes focused intently on the screen.

“Y/n!” Hoseok groaned as the screen went grey.

“Oh, oh, my bad,” you said, ripping your gaze away from Jungkook.

“It’s okay, it’s time for a snack break anyway,” Jungkook said, standing up.

“I’ll help,” you said, feeling a fresh wave of confidence wash over you. Last year, you were the awkward new girl with braces and glasses that magnified your eyes in an unattractive way, but this year was the year Jungkook noticed you. You had gotten contacts, learned how to use makeup, gotten your braces off, and learned how to style your hair to frame your face in a cute way. This was the year you made your feelings known.

You followed Jungkook to the kitchen, watching his broad shoulders as he towered above you. He’d definitely grown a lot in the past year. And his smell… so enticing. You didn’t know what kind of cologne he used, you just knew you wanted to buy buckets of it to inhale from.

Jungkook opened the fridge. “What kind of soda do you want? I have Coca-Cola, cherry, grape…”

You were barely listening. All you could do was stare at him, his flawless, creamy skin beckoning to you. The string you felt connecting your souls tugged you forward, giving you the confidence you needed to take things to the next level. You stepped close just as Jungkook was closing the fridge door and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

Jungkook dropped the can, letting it clatter on the floor.

He looked at you, his mouth parted open. “Y/n…?” he asked weakly.

You placed your hands over your mouth, shocked at yourself. “I’m… I’m sorry,” you said, turning and fleeing the room.

You nearly crashed into Hoseok. “Hey, what’s the rush?” he joked, placing his hands on your shoulders to steady you.

“Whoa,” he said, noticing your blown pupils and heaving chest. “Are you okay, Y/n?”

“Yeah,” you said breathlessly, holding a hand to your forehead. “I mean, I think so. Feeling a bit light-headed.”

“Want me to take you home?”

“N-No, I have my car, I just need a minute.”

“Yo JK,” Hoseok said, looking over your shoulder. You didn’t dare turn around. “Can you get Y/n some water? And make sure she gets home safely? I know she’s been staying up really late to study. I’d do it myself, but I’ve gotta go home to watch my little sister. My mom was just called into work.”

“Sure th-thing.”

Concern took over Hoseok’s features. “You okay?”

“Yep,” Jungkook replied, his voice much too high.

Hoseok didn’t look convinced, but he left you both anyway after saying his goodbyes. “I’d better go too,” you said, turning.

“Wait.”

You turned, hope blooming in your chest. Jungkook’s dark eyes caught the light as he stepped close, wide and earnest. He gently took both your hands in his and squeezed. Tingles exploded across your body, like mini-fireworks of every color lighting up your insides. “Y/n, I know you l-like me,” Jungkook stammered. “But I have to tell you something…”

The fireworks inside you fizzled out, your eyebrows drawing together as you anticipated his next words. “I like someone else.”

You slid your hands out of his. “What?”

“I like someone else,” he repeated, looking away from you.

You scoffed. Of course he liked someone else. There were a hundred other girls he could pick from, all of them prettier than you, smarter than you, better than you in every way.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

“For what?” you said, your voice hoarse. “It’s not your fault. You can’t help how you feel.”

Jungkook finally looked at you again, pity in his eyes. You turned away, hating that he felt sorry for you. For you! He should feel sorry for himself.

You closed your eyes, willing the anger away. You meant what you said. This wasn’t Jungkook’s fault. He couldn’t help who he loved or didn’t love.

“I’ve got to go,” you muttered, turning away.

“Wait, Y/nー”

“For what?” you said, whirling around to look him in the eyes. “For you to love me back? That’s never gonna happen, soー”

“You love me?”

“Shit,” you said under your breath. “No, I-I’m confused, what I meant wasー”

Jungkook took a step away from you, his face screwed up in distress. “Y/n… I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way.”

You shrugged. “Okay. That’s fine. It’s fine. We’re fine.”

You grabbed your things and opened the door, the tears welling up fast.

“Did I fuck up?” Jungkook asked quietly from behind you. “Are we still friends?”

You turned back, your eyes shining with tears that hadn’t spilled yet. “Yes, we’re still friends,” you choked out. “I’ll see you at school.”

“Want a drink?”

You were shaken out of the memory by a guy standing in front of you that you didn’t recognize. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked if you wanted a drink,” he said, his voice filled with amusement. You sized the guy up. He was cute. Not really your type, but maybe you could make the most of tonight with a guy like him.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, causing you to turn. You were expecting Rosé or Lisa, but instead felt ice run through your veins as Jungkook’s dark irises met your own. “Dude, I think your girlfriend is looking for you,” he said pointedly.

The guy snorted and left, tossing a glare in Jungkook’s direction.

“I didn’t need saving,” you snapped, brushing Jungkook’s hand away.

“I know. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“So talk.”

One side of Jungkook’s mouth lifted in a halfhearted smirk. “C’mon Y/n, you already know what I want to talk about.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Do I?”

“Don’t you remember?” he asked, stepping closer. “Graduation?”

You blinked and glanced down at the floor, painful memories pushing past all the walls you’d built to hold them back.

“Congrats Y/n,” Jungkook said, holding his diploma, smiling shyly at you. Your heart skipped a beat. Despite everything, you were still in love with him. He had grown even taller, and his hair was now dyed a sandy brown with blonde streaks. He’d grown into his smile a bit, and had even grown confident enough to sport a bit of eyeliner that attractively set off his dark eyes.

“Congrats to you!” you said enthusiastically. “We did it!”

“We did, huh?”

The awkwardness between you two grew. Even after three years of spending time together, it seems neither of you could keep the conversation flowing. “Hey, can I talk to you? In private?” Jungkook asked suddenly.

Your mouth parted open in surprise. “S-Sure.”

You both stepped out into the darkened hallway, the only light coming from a few windows further down. “I figured I should be honest with you,” Jungkook said, looking down at his feet. “Remember when you kissed me a year ago?”

You blushed profusely. “N-No,” you said, cursing your shaky voice. Of course you remembered. How could you forget? It’s not like your feelings had changed. Despite him rejecting you, Jungkook still held the number one spot in your heart. Sure, you’d dated other guys and done your best to get over him, but that string was still there, connecting you to him, wrapped around your very soul.

“I told you I liked someone else.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” you said. “I r-remember now.”

One side of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. He saw right through you, and you both knew it. “Well, that girl was Aubry.”

You resisted rolling your eyes. Of course it was. She was only the prettiest girl in your class. You didn’t know a single guy who hadn’t had a crush on her at one point or another. Aubry was not only extremely beautiful, but extremely nice as well. She’d stood up for you a couple times when her more snobby friends made rude comments toward you. As far as you knew, she’d stayed single your entire school career. She was a free spirit, a kite that wanted to break free from its string. You knew she wanted to travel and do volunteer work in less fortunate countries, not stay here and be in some relationship that would likely end in disaster anyway.

“She rejected me.”

Again, you resisted rolling your eyes. You saw that coming a mile away.

“But I never stopped loving her.”

“Jungkook, why are you telling me all this?” you asked impatiently. Your friends and family were waiting on the other side of the door, why were you here letting your emotions get torn to shreds?

“Because,” he said, twisting his hands around each other nervously. “Because I wanted to tell you I was wrong.”

You blinked at him. “Wrong? About what?”

“About turning you down. I should have given you a chance.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Wh-What?”

“I was so fixated on Aubry, I ignored everyone else,” Jungkook muttered. “But as far as being with you went… I can’t say I didn’t think about it.”

Silence built a wall between you two. “Are you… Are you serious?” you finally said.

Jungkook nodded.

You scoffed. “What the hell, Jungkook? You couldn’t have told me this earlier? We’re graduating! It’s too late!”

“I know. You’re going off to college abroad, and I’m focusing on my singing career. We’re going totally different directions, but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t at least tell you.”

“Wow. You couldn’t have left well enough alone, could you?” you said, emotion clogging up your throat. “You just had to get one more painful memory in.”

“What? No, that’s not what Iー”

“Fuck you, Jungkook.”

His mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait, Y/nー”

“No!” You cut him off, holding a hand up. “You don’t get to break my heart like that again. Fuck you!”

You threw open the door and ran through it, angrily swiping at the tears that had finally spilled over.

“Yeah, about that,” you said, pushing the memory back down into the dark recesses of your mind. “Sorry I told you to fuck off.”

“Uh, I believe your exact words were, ‘Fuck you, Jungkook.’”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”

Jungkook smirked before taking a sip from his cup. “Are you here alone?”

You folded your arms. “Maybe.”

He chuckled. “If you are, I’d like to keep talking to you, if that’s okay.”

You bit your lip to contain the smile that surfaced at his words. “Sure.”

Jungkook grinned back at you, melting your insides like butter tossed into a hot pan. That string that had always linked the two of you began to thicken, building strand upon strand with each flirtatious comment, each meaningful look, each chuckle and laugh. Maybe this would ramp up into an epic romance, or maybe this would merely turn into a beautiful friendship, but either way, your connected souls would never part ways again.