Roses Is So Addicting Bro Omg I Just Had To Write This - Tumblr Posts
⏤ roses ࣪ ⤹
everything red is a cold reminder of what felix once had.
꒰ lee felix + fem!reader ⏤ 0.9k words ꒱ oneshot
༄ content info & warnings !! breakup aftermath. angst ⋆ hurt no comfort (i think? idk). felix’s pov. some swearing.
✉️𓂃 ࣪˖ inspired by jaehyun’s roses. ik this is short & not that good but i got a random burst of motivation and birthed this so… enjoy!
It’s been four months since you broke up with Felix.
Felix knows it’s better for the both of you — he truly does. That knowledge still doesn’t it make it sting any less when he occasionally discovers an old item that belongs to you around the dorm he shares with Seungmin.
The most recent thing he found was one of your lipsticks. Red, just like the roses he used to surprise you with on every anniversary the two of you could share around his hectic schedule as an idol.
Red, just like the heels you would ogle online late in the night while Felix watched TV beside you in your bed. He contemplated buying them for you more than once, but every time it was brought up you’d quickly brush it off, claiming you’d have nowhere to wear them to. He regrets it — your beauty would’ve put the deep gorgeous shade of red to shame.
Fuck. Another reminder of red, just like the hearts you would send when you curiously texted him at the end of the day, sweetly asking about his day and what he ate.
He grits his teeth at the reminder he no longer receives those texts. His phone is unbearably dry, if his member’s messages and the occasional texts from family don’t count.
Sometimes, when he gets too desperate at night, he scrolls back through his chat log with you and has to bite his fist to hold back the tears that threaten to overflow. Heartbreak is genuinely one of the worst feelings he’s ever experienced.
Felix shakes his head to rid himself of the thought and stares out the window of his apartment with a sigh. It’s for the better, he reminds himself. In the end, he couldn’t provide you with the proper affection and time you deserved.
Deep down, Felix is happy you were strong enough to put an end to the relationship, purely because he himself never would’ve been able to let you go despite the suffering that increasingly began to build up as the relationship progressed.
Fuck. He can’t stop thinking about it. With an exasperated groan, Felix falls back onto his bed and runs a hand through his blonde hair. He toys with the ends for a minute, contemplating on what color he should do next. Maybe black again?
His heart sinks when his brain immediately jumps to a memory of you from six months ago. You were propped against the headboard of your bed with Felix’s head in your lap. His hair was much shorter at the time, but you ran your hands and twined the dark strands together with a content hum regardless of the length.
“Black looks so good on you,” you had sighed as your fingers gently began to massage his scalp. His eyes had slipped close in bliss, but now he regrets that entirely. That could’ve been a perfect moment to stare up and take in the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips, the shape of your eyes. But, like an idiot, he fucking wasted it.
Dragging himself out of the depressed haze that is his mind once more, Felix digs the heels of his palms into his eyes until his sight fills with static. He needs to move on, but it’s like you’ve strung his heart around a leash that he can’t rip off no matter how hard he tries. Why, why, why?
He sits up and eyes his phone that rests undisturbed on the nightstand near his bed. He knows it’s a bad idea. He shouldn’t. Absolutely, one hundred percent, should not look at your Instagram profile to see how your life is without him.
Three minutes later, Felix wants to scream and rip his hair out as he swipes through your recent posts against his better judgment, seeing you happy and glowing with a man who isn’t him. He manages to scroll down to find three similar posts, one being a picture of you holding a bouquet of roses, before he clicks off the device, gingerly places it back where it was, and curls up in a ball atop his comforter to let out a broken sob.
He misses you so fucking badly that everything internal aches beyond words. It kills him to know that someone else is out there buying you roses and sharing every anniversary with you, not just the ones Felix could manage to physically attend.
He hates how time-consuming his job is. He doesn’t know how long he lays there and loses himself to a mental spiral, bawling his eyes out, until he blearily hears the jingle of keys and click of a door, indicating Seungmin is home. When said man knocks once a moment later before letting himself into the room, it’s with a sympathetic wince full of pity.
Felix sniffles and tries to take a deep breath through his hyperventilating as Seungmin carefully trods over. He lets Seungmin wordlessly coax him into sitting, lets him draw him into a gentle hug, lets him allow Felix to bury his face into his shoulder. He only cries harder at the warm embrace, smearing snot on the sleeve of his roommate’s jacket. Seungmin doesn’t comment on it, though, and continues to rub soothing circles on his back in silence.
They both know Felix will manage to pull the thorns out of his heart eventually.
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