Hurt No Comfort - Tumblr Posts
Content warnings, please mind the tags
A habit inherited from parents
When self-preservation comes at a price.
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Alright alright, I have THOUGHTS ok?! So lemme develop a bit about this AU, because it's going to be a semi long series. First some warnings:
It will be "hurt no comfort" for quite some time before I begin being nicer to them
MOST ARTS FROM THIS SERIES ARE GOING TO BE BLOODY/DARK, PLEASE MIND THE TAGS
Now actual infos:
It is Scarabia/Scalding Sands-only AU (for now, might be subject to change)
Only about 20% of the population has no wings, most everybody else is born with wings
The bigger/more colorful wings come from "good lineage" and tend to indicate nobility
The Asim family possesses very colorful parrot wings, though they are not the biggest
The Viper family possesses [redacted] wings, but they cannot keep them so as to not shadow the Asim
Wings grow back no matter how many times one cuts them
Kalim is not aware the Viper family do have wings and just assumes they are born without
I might add more notes with the next arts.
Content warnings, please mind the tags.
"If you don't let me keep my wings, I'm gonna make my own."
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Content warnings, please mind the tags
Like a butterfly
"Smile, Kalim. You will soon be the face of House Asim."
Success also comes at a price.
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Content warnings, please mind the tags.
Heartfelt gift
Don't you realize all those gifts only hurt me more and more every time?
Don't you realize those measly feathers aren't worth the blood I sacrifice every months?
Don't you realize nothing you do can make me feel better?
Don't you realize I hate you.
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Bittersweet Memory
Hey look, for once there's no content warning! (That doesn't make it lighter, does it?)
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The Scorpion and the Frog
Do you guys know the tale of the Scorpion and the Frog?
So yeah, I've been leafing through my History of Art lessons to find some of my favorite angel artworks for this one.
Kalim is based on The Guardian Angel by Marcantonio Franceschini.
Jamil is based on The Fall of Lucifer/War in Heaven by Gustave Doré for the book Paradise Lost (one if not my FAVORITE piece of art ever made)
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Content warning, please mind the tags.
"Sometimes my wings feel too heavy."
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"You'll protect her, won't you?"
You asked for Najma? Here she is.
WE'RE AT THE BREAKING POINT!!
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Content warning, please mind the tags.
A Breakdown
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"Don't put all the blame on me" RK900/Gavin Reed
The first panic attack is a hell like no other, and RK900 is sure that he's dying. Assigned to keep Detective Reed safe after the Android Revolution, RK900 finds himself stuck investigating a talkative deviant, who seems to have no issue putting his dread and existentialism in RK900's hands. Being deeply busy trying to bust down Red Ice operations, now targeting androids with new formulas, may just about be the worst time for him to get sudden stomach aches and shaking components. Even worse is the fact that he has to balance these malfunctions and his mission, all while spending his day to day with Gavin Reed, who is probably the least empathetic cop he could've been assigned to.
----- Basically, Nines doesn't know he's having emotions, and Reed hates the idea of getting comfortable with an android, and there's so many drugs that need to be destroyed like for either to focus on that. Come and witness my first ever official fanfic on AO3!
“I don’t love you. How could I? You ruined me. You took every shining part of me and ground it to dust beneath your palms, showing me the grit like it was a kind of adoration. So, no, I cannot love you.” She went to leave, and Clara stopped her, a hand on her arm.
“Wait.”
She stopped, chest aching. “Why.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
It wasn’t an apology, but it wasn’t quite the excuse Clara was hoping it would be either.
“But you did it anyways.”
“Sophie, please.”
“Clara, I’m not doing this with you anymore. I can’t.”
Clara let out something between a sob and a laugh, hand dropping from her arm.
“I love you,” Clara’s voice cracked, and Sophie knew it was a prompt. Say it back, Clara was urging. Please, Sophie, say it back, take me back, don’t leave me.
Sophie didn’t cry. She didn’t.
“I told you that you destroyed the best parts of me, didn’t I?” she said softly. Clara nodded, hesitantly, like she could see where this ended and didn’t like the destination.
Sophie tipped her head up, turning away until she could no longer see Clara at all. Just feel her, at her back.
She was not crying.
Her cheeks were wet.
“Well,” she said, and her voice was wet and it broke and she tried to pull the aching shards of agony back into place around her heart like emotional barbed wire. “You didn’t get the ending you wanted, did you. No fairytales, right Clara? No heroic endings, no sunset credits. No Pinterest boards or motivational quotes, because we aren’t that kind of love. You said that, remember?”
“Sophie.”
“You ruined me,” she said, and this time, it wasn’t an accusation. Just a statement.
“Sophie.”
“When you destroyed me, when you destroyed all of those wonderful parts, those fairytales and quotes and sunsets, what did you think you were taking from me?”
Sophie didn’t let her answer, turning to face her.
“It doesn’t matter,” she answered for Clara. Clara grimaced. “Because when you destroyed those best parts of me, you destroyed the only part of me that knew how to love you.”
Clara looked like Sophie had shot her.
Sophie wanted to laugh. She cried instead.
“Don’t you see,” she said wetly. “You ruined me, but you ruined me for yourself, too. Killed me so no one else could have me, but didn’t expect to lose me in the process, did you.”
Clara took a step forward, and she stepped back.
“No takebacks,” she warned. “No fairytale endings. No kissing in the rain. We aren’t that love, are we, Clara,” she spat, and it was venomous. Clara looked sick.
“I’m sorry,” Clara whispered, and maybe, just maybe, Sophie thought she might mean it this time.
“Regret is beneath you,” Sophie said in place of forgiveness, and she opened the door. “Next time, don’t destroy the only part of someone that knows how to love you. Leave that bit as you destroy the rest. But whoever you destroy next time won’t be me.”
Clara didn’t stop her when she slammed the door behind her.
Sophie never said her name again.
JJK SPOILERS 236 {I know this is short but I wrote this on corporate's time so like give me a few days to write a longer one} Gasps echoed through the room, the sound of despair reverberating in the air. Everyone's eyes widened, riveted by the heart-wrenching scene playing out before them on the screen.
Maki's trembling hand found its way to Yuta's shoulder, a feeble attempt to comfort him as tears welled up in his eyes. His fingers clenched around the hilt of his sword, his anguish manifesting in his tightening grip.
Itadori's knuckles turned white as he struggled to rein in his ragged breath, his head bowed in defeat. When he finally looked up, he couldn't ignore the gazes of everyone now fixed upon Shoko.
Before anyone could articulate their shock and sorrow, Shoko rose from her seat, her movements heavy with an unspoken burden. In her wake, she abandoned even her pack of cigarettes, a symbol of her shattered resolve.
Itadori's trembling hand reached out, ready to call out to Shoko, but he was halted by Choso. The silent shake of Choso's head spoke volumes, a plea to let her go without further words.
Once Shoko left the room, her body gave way to the crushing weight of her emotions. She leaned against the corridor's cold wall for support, her legs trembling beneath her. Her fist pounded against the unfeeling surface, her head hung low in agony. Her breaths grew shallow and ragged, each one punctuated by the gut-wrenching sobs that tore through her, raw and anguished. As the tears streamed down her face, Shoko whispered, her voice a fragile, broken murmur barely audible to her own ears, "Gojo... I have no one left... no one." Each word was a fragile thread of her shattered existence, a testament to the void that now consumed her.
Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain
Please, Please, Please
Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024
TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death
Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.
Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.
A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.
(You can also read this on AO3)
"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."
"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.
"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?"
Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.
"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.
His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.
"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"
"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."
"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."
It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.
"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."
And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.
"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"
He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.
"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"
"Shut up you disgusting beast!"
"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.
"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"
"CRUCIO!"
There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.
Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.
"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.
"Crucio."
The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.
Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.
A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.
"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."
The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.
"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.
"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"
That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.
He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?
Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.
Was this what dying felt like?
Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.
The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.
He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.
"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.
"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."
"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.
"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"
He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.
"We're better off without that filth."
"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"
The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.
"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.
"What did he say?"
"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."
"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”
"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"
"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"
There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.
He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.
"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!"
Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain
Please, Please, Please
Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024
TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death
Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.
Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.
A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.
(You can also read this on AO3)
"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."
"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.
"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?"
Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.
"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.
His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.
"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"
"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."
"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."
It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.
"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."
And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.
"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"
He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.
"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"
"Shut up you disgusting beast!"
"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.
"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"
"CRUCIO!"
There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.
Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.
"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.
"Crucio."
The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.
Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.
A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.
"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."
The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.
"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.
"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"
That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.
He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?
Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.
Was this what dying felt like?
Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.
The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.
He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.
"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.
"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."
"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.
"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"
He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.
"We're better off without that filth."
"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"
The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.
"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.
"What did he say?"
"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."
"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”
"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"
"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"
There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.
He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.
"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!"
Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain
Please, Please, Please
Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024
TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death
Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.
Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.
A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.
(You can also read this on AO3)
"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."
"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.
"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?"
Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.
"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.
His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.
"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"
"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."
"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."
It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.
"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."
And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.
"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"
He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.
"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"
"Shut up you disgusting beast!"
"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.
"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"
"CRUCIO!"
There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.
Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.
"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.
"Crucio."
The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.
Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.
A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.
"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."
The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.
"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.
"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"
That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.
He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?
Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.
Was this what dying felt like?
Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.
The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.
He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.
"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.
"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."
"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.
"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"
He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.
"We're better off without that filth."
"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"
The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.
"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.
"What did he say?"
"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."
"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”
"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"
"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"
There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.
He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.
"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!"
OP as parents: Doflamingo
TW: Hurt no comfort bc its this asshole and I chose violence today, no fluffy feelings only pain and suffering, emotional neglect/ abuse, etc DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT HAPPY FEELINGS
[Set after Cora's death]
First off, this man manipulates you like no other and then completely ignores you after you get back under control
Its like, oh you're thinking of running away? How could you leave behind our family like this? We are above everyone you will find out there and you want to leave us?
HEAVY guilt tripping
Man is obsessed with the concept of worth, bc this is a mafia family, you need to be useful
You will grow up being compared to Baby 5 and Law even if Law isn't even in the fucking house anymore
Doflamingo won't hurt you himself, he just orders Dellinger to do it
You are in a position where you need to both prove yourself to the family and to the world around you
You are a royal, and are expected to act like it, perfection is a must and that extends to ALL aspects of your life
Doflamingo will only show you a gram (not even an ounce) of love in public where he plays the role of hero king
Other than that you are tossed away to train and learn and fight
To fall behind is to get left behind, and to get left behind might mean being sent to the factory
Sugar constantly threatens you with turning you into a toy saying something along the lines of "nobody even remembers your existence in the first place"
Dellinger is in general just obsessed with Doflamingo and being useful to him so expect violence and mocking from him
Overall, you will end up more fucked up than Law bc he at least HAD Cora, you had no one but yourself
But hey, you are good at fighting??????
Content warnings, please mind the tags.
"If you don't let me keep my wings, I'm gonna make my own."
Posts list: 1 - 2 - 3 - ?
Content warnings, please mind the tags.
Heartfelt gift
Don't you realize all those gifts only hurt me more and more every time?
Don't you realize those measly feathers aren't worth the blood I sacrifice every months?
Don't you realize nothing you do can make me feel better?
Don't you realize I hate you.
Posts list: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ?
Scarlet Eyes Karl Jacobs x Reader
C!Karl Jacobs x Gender Neutral reader
In which Karl tries to save you from the egg
Warnings: The Egg, Disassociation, manipulation, light injury. A/N: Not really lore accurate but its okay just wanted to write some egg stuff
You stood in front of the open tunnel. The staircase lead deep and you couldn’t quite see the end. It had all started when a note was left on the door with these coordinates on it. What intrigued you was the red vines that covered the pure white paper. The vines seemed harmless and almost seemed to wrap around your finger when you touched them.
With a deep sigh and your sword in your back pocket you head down the flight of stairs, torches scattered the walls but it didn’t make the walk feel any less ominous. Finally you reached the bottom of the stairs, it opened to a room that was covered in the same red as the vines from the paper were, but only these ones were much bigger.
The room was huge, red was covering the entire room from the floor to the roof. On the ground there was a mix of magma and lava making the navigation a bit hard. What really stood out was the vines that was spread everywhere, they were warm to the touch and almost had a life to them. Following the vines you finally notice what was in the corner of the room. A giant Egg like shape made the room feel more crowded, the vines were the thickest there so that’s where the vines must grow from somehow..
You couldn’t help it as you were unable to take your eyes off this egg thing, you have never seen anything quite like it. The thing sent chills down your spine and your hair stand on end, but even with all that you somehow felt protected in its presence.
“Closer”
The word echoed in your mind, you couldn’t tell where or who it was from but nevertheless you found yourself taking one step at a time closer to the egg.
It was just so beautiful. It gave you a sense of euphoria just by being there. You couldn’t think straight as you stood directly in front of the egg. Instinctively you reached your hand out to touch the egg. Everything was going to be okay as long as you held on. Slowly the vines started the slither around your feet locking you into place. You didn’t dare move, you didn’t want to upset this thing or the vines as they moved further up your body with thick vines, almost like a cocoon. Closing your eyes you let the red engulf you as you heard it speak one more time.
“Don’t worry you’re safe now”
“Y/n!”
Karl woke up with a jolt. No it couldn’t be, he must’ve traveled again there’s no way Y/n would be anywhere that egg. When he rolled over though he found the other side of the bed empty. No he has to stop them before any of that dream-vision whatever it was happen. He practically jumped out of bed running to grab his bag, journal, and shoes. And with that he was out the door to find y/n.
He ran across the server asking everything and everyone where they might have gone. No one had heard anything which made his suspicions worse. Finally someone had said they had last seen them around the badlands. Karl’s heart sunk when he realized exactly where that is. He couldn’t lose you, not to that mind controlling egg! He would stop at nothing to keep you away. Maybe he should’ve warned you before so you wouldn’t even think about going there.
Soon enough he came to the stairwell that was exactly like his dream. He wasted no time to run down, hopefully he wasn’t to late and you could get them away or better yet you weren’t even down there in the first place. His worst fear came true though when he entered the egg room to see a figure standing there, a figure that was all to familiar to him.
“Y/n….. is that you.?” Karl chocked out as they turned around. He was meet with Scarlet eyes, not the natural hue he was used to.
“Karl! So glad for you to finally join me! I was wondering how long it would take for you to show up” They bounced on their toes. Sure it sounded like them but something was off, proving to him that they weren’t in control of their own mind.
“Y/n I know this isn’t you, please just listen to me” Karl was stuck, he knew the eggs grip was strong, but he just hoped his love would be stronger.
“Isn’t me? Of course this is me! I’m happier than I have ever been, and the egg was the key.”
Even though Karl kind of knew what to except he was still shocked. Were they not happy with him? No it must be the egg talking, of course they were happy together.
“I don’t know what the egg has promised you, but its not right, please I can help you get out of this” Karl slowly extended his hand at them, but he was not met with your hand, instead he was met with your sword. Karl jumped back holding his now cut hand to his chest.
“I don’t want to get out of anything! The egg can give me anything I want and can give you what you want too! You just have to listen to it.” Y/n said confidently holding the sword out towards Karl.
Karl shook his head “I don’t want to fight you y/n”
In return Y/n sighed, “If you wont listen to me then I will have to make you listen.” They started walking towards Karl with the sword still outstretched “The egg has done way more for me than you ever have in our relationship, and if you just listen it can help you too”
Karl hesitantly pulled out his shield, “You’re lying, I love you and I know some part of you still loves me back, y/n please fight off the eggs influence” He said while blocking the hits from y/n’s sword.
Y/n chuckled while continuing to try and hit Karl with the sword “You know what? If you really did love me you would join the egg with me.”
Tears pricked Karl’s eyes. No matter how much he told himself that it wasn’t them, hearing it from their voice just hurt worse than he could ever imagine. Soon enough he was backed into a corner, looking once again to those scarlet eyes he knew there was no saving them, at least not yet. Using his shield and body weight he pushed back y/n as much as he could and booked it towards the exit.
“I’ll be back for you”