Running From Them Feelings - Tumblr Posts

No Words, pt 7

Pairing: Jungook x  [mention/flashback of Tae x OC]

Type: Series

Genre: Idol! Poly!, Interracial, Tall Female, Smut, Angst, Fluff [if you squint]

Warning: Smut. Voyeurism. Masturbation. 

A/N - I wrote this so weird - I’m sorry. I cannot even explain. But, you should read chapters 1-6. Then Interlude I-V.  Or be a Rebel and read the interludes first then read through the chapters. You’re the captain of your crazy reader-ship. Now we can continue on!

Words:  2.5K

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The Maknae was flustered as he burned miles on the treadmill. The trainer turned the speed up a few more notches. Jeongguk was so lost in his thoughts? He barely registered he was getting closer to max speed. It was easy to let the body do what it needed to when he spaced out. It was like a weird auto-pilot, the trainer knew that far away gaze. It was the best time to really push the maknae to his limits.

“You what, Jeongguk? You what..?” Tae leaned in with a baritone growl.

Ki-Nam knew that Jeongguk was preoccupied with something. They had gone through this whole scenario many times, over many years. If Gguk had a problem he couldn’t talk out? He’d work it out - hard. The maknae’s brow furrowed, Ki-Nam turned the speed up another notch. He felt bad, honestly. Watching the main vocal sweat out his troubles in such a rough fashion. But, everyone knew that Gguk still had some troubles when it came to his emotions. They laughed over a session, a few years ago, saying it was akin to meditation. A really, really, rough and vigorous meditation.

It has been one month since they had a bit of a break. The holidays were closing in on them again. That time of the year always seemed to do something to him. He didn’t understand why. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

No, that was a lie. He didn’t want to put his finger on it.

“I don’t know, Taehyung!” A hissing whisper turned to the elder. Jeongguk’s tongue poked at the side of his cheek as his leg began to vibrate. “I don’t fucking know.” Tae scoffed as he gave the maknae a once over.

Jeongguk felt his heart beating a race in his chest. The sweat finally started to burn his eyes, he blinked it away rapidly. Why didn’t he want to touch it? Because it would change things. What was wrong with change? It took time to get used to new things. So what? Who cared? It was safer than the alternative right?

She was safer than the alternative. Right?

“I do.” Tae continued his stroll toward the end of the hall. “I knew some time ago.” Was that a warning?

“Fuck?!” Jeongguk was at a break-neck run when Ki-Nam turned the dial to MAX. Yes, that’s fine. He needed this run, he wanted to run! But, from what? What was he running from? It hurt. His body hurt and his lungs burned.

“OK! Ok!” Ki-Nam saw the focus slip and turned the speed down to a light jog. “Alright, breathe it out. Breathe it out.” He handed the maknae an electrolyte replacement as the jog turned into a brisk walk. Jeongguk felt a towel land over his head, snapping him from the recesses of his mind. “Man, I don’t know what you’ve got going on in your head? But, it’s been a while since you’ve maxed the treadmill.” Ki-Nam crossed his arms watching the Maknae slow to a stop. He brushed the towel over his sweat-ladened hair.

Jeongguk watched as Tae disappeared down the hall - their eyes meeting one last time as he disappeared around a corner.

“Hyung,” Gguk panted heavily while bracing his hands on the arm of the treadmill. “..can you be in love with two people at the same time?” Ki-Nam blinked at Gguk with a soft whistle. The maknae groaned while rubbing his hair vigorously.

“Absolutely.” Ki-Nam’s straight, unflinching answer made the maknae look from under his towel. The, slightly, older man arched a brow. “What? Did you think I was going to say no?” He chuckled as Gguk gave him a sheepish look.

“Gguk-ah, you can’t help who or how many people stir your heart.” Ki-Nam shrugged as if it was common knowledge. “Granted, it’s not exactly acceptable to everyone. But,” He clapped a hand on the maknae’s moist shirt covered shoulder. “…everyone doesn’t know what makes you happy. Look at the world we live in, Jeongguk-ah. People exist in many forms. Don’t you think it’s only reasonable that love does as well?”

Jeongguk blinked wide and Ki-Nam smiled giving him a soft shake. “For as many combinations in the world, that a person can exist? So too does love, Gguk-ah. Only you know the combination that’s right for you.” There was a stern set to the trainer’s face suddenly. “Regardless of the form that combination takes? You fight for your own happiness, whatever it may be. And also, be careful.” The trainer pushed his index finger into the maknae’s pectoral. Right above the quivering beat of his heart. “While it’s true love is fickle, sometimes she can be impatient.”

The maknae frowned, trying to ponder the meaning. Ki-Nam didn’t waste that time leading him on. He got straight to the point. “Love can be a once in a lifetime thing, Gguk-ah. She can decorate the table. She can wear a pretty dress. She can paint you a picture worth a thousand words. But, if you’re too busy to turn your head in her direction? She leaves you.”

Jeongguk’s eyes went wide as a thought unburied itself from the tunnels of his mind. Christmas time.

“…and she may leave you for a good while before trying again.” It was so easy to just text them, and know they would be there.

“…and if you miss the opportunity too many times?”

Taehyung..cried. He remembered it so vividly now. Just when he thought that she understood. Just when he knew she felt the same? She was gone. She stopped answering their messages, then her phone no longer took them. He was so concerned about Taehyung. They did what they always had to - they picked up and moved along.

How could she do that to Tae? How could she do that to Taeyung? How could do that to him? To him?

“She may never come back around again.” Ki-Nam finally finished as the light seemed to flare in the maknae’s eyes. As if a realization slammed into him. How could she do that to him? Jeongguk’s tongue prodded at the corner of his cheek. Ah, that’s what it was. It wasn’t just him -Taehyung.

It was also him - Jeongguk. How could she do that…to them?

Ki-Nam didn’t press, but he knew that look. A smirk lifted the corner of his mouth as Jeongguk nodded to himself, resolute. “You good?” The trainer asked the maknae with a fire burning in his eyes.

“Yeah, hyung, I am.” The maknae bowed to his trainer, tossing the towel back atop his head as he made for his room and a shower. He looked deep in thought as he took the stairs two by two. He didn’t want to bother with the elevator, not with all the thoughts still jumbled in his brain. He knew his feelings for Taehyung - that was sort of a given. But, he will admit he noticed a change when she was around.

He thought to indulge Taehyung on his fixation with the foreigner. They would only be around for just a bit of time, so what could it hurt? He opened the door to his floor and shuffled to his room.

It hurt a lot, actually.

His brow furrowed as he rolled back the reel of memories. She didn’t want to really get close to them - that much was apparent. She almost reminded him of himself in the beginning. Waiting until everyone else was out of the room or the way before eating or showering. There were differences between them that could make things difficult. But, Tae being Tae didn’t care. They watched her butt heads, clash ideas, and disagree with senior staff. It didn’t always work out to her benefit, but she stayed true in that she wanted to speak her mind. She always took it constructively, at least, when they disagreed with what she presented.

But, she had always mentioned she appreciated the ‘why?’. She appreciated that they tore her ideas up and presented the pros, cons, and protocols as a rebuttal. You couldn’t help but respect that. Just as they had come to respect that she wanted to be wrong - so she could develop stronger ideas. Most people would become resentful and frustrated at repeated ‘no’. But, not her - no. She studied refusals and prepared herself for a stronger showing at the next juncture.

But, not her - no. She studied refusals and prepared herself for a stronger showing at the next juncture.

Jeongguk felt himself sag as he entered his room. The bed looked inviting but he knew he needed to shower. The last bit of willpower left was exerted to undress and press himself into the hot spray. The water cascaded over his body as it protested his earlier mistreatment. His hand braced against the wall as his eyes closed.

How could she do that to him?

…there was no singing coming from that room. Jeongguk excused himself to go to the bathroom. He could hear all the off-key singing, but he couldn’t hear her voice. The water echoed a weird silence underneath the noise. He stepped out of the bathroom turning back toward the raucous bunch at the grill tables. He turned toward that corner where the karaoke room was. He bit into the meat of his cheek as he made his way down the hall.

He was turning the corner when he heard it. A loud thump that made him rush to the door. It was concern that brought him, but when he peeked into that little window? What he saw made his skin flush as he pressed himself against the wall. He could feel that fire creeping along his skin and settling in his face. Even though all his blood immediately ran toward his dick. It was dark back there, the burn of the karaoke screen and mini-lights provided enough light for him to see it.

To see her, crouched in front of Tae with her face against his stomach. Tae with his hand between his teeth somewhere between insanity and ecstasy.

He should have forgotten it. He should have left. He was turning to leave, he shouldn’t see this. But she pulled Tae across the room to the couch. He was off-side so he could see everything. Why was he so aroused?! He couldn’t really hear what they were saying.

But when Tae grabbed handfuls of her hair and pushed his cock into her mouth - and didn’t stop until she was pressed against his stomach again? Jeongguk had to suppress his moans as he reached into his pants.  

Tae got louder as he moved closer to orgasm. Gguk knew the signs. The muscle tick in the jaw, the way his body bows backward. He watched Tae use her, trying to shove himself inside of her.

“…H-ha…hah…”

How?! How could he have caught up so quickly?

“Mmm. Mhm, mhm, just like…t-that..”

Jeongguk felt his stomach twist and knot.

“Ah-f-fuck. Fuck…fuck…”

He felt his balls draw tight as lightning coursed through his body.

“F-fuck, gonna come…gonna come….gonna -Ah!?”

And then he…

“Fuck?!” Gguk had spaced out thinking back on catching her and Tae. He wound up working himself back up, and as the water turned cold - the orgasm knotted his muscles. One hand tight around the base of his dick as he dropped to a knee.

He was in love with her, too. It wasn’t just Tae that was hurt by that spontaneous disappearance. He was too. He was also him. He was hurt. He was mad. He tried to play it off, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t play it off anymore. His body lurched as he kept the iron grip on his throbbing erection.

Why was he being so stupid? What did it matter?! Tae loved her. Tae knew he loved her. It wasn’t a threat he lobbed at Jeongguk that night. It wasn’t a warning. It was a fucking realization. The truth of it had his eyes rolling back in his skull. As he finally took that chance and let himself think back.

Back to that Christmas.

Back to that kitchen.

Back to her apartment.

Back to when she was sandwiched between them. He thought…

The sounds they made together with a reckless abandon that night.

He thought… He remembered….he felt….

…the sound of her voice “Come for me.” She moaned.

Jeongguk cried out as let himself go. His back hit the tiled wall. He exploded, thick ropes of cum shooting skyward and against his abdomen as he fought for air. He reached out shaking hands to bat the nozzle to stop the water beating down on his skull.  He sank down on his side as his cock twitched and spasmed even though there was no liquid left to sputter.

Cold. He was fucking freezing when he snapped to twenty minutes later. The heel of his palm dug into his eye socket. “Mphffucking hell…” He pushed himself to stand, turning on the water again. The hot water not wasted as he showered and tended to his sore muscles.

He exited the shower, toweling his hair, frowning at the now swollen bowl of ramen that had been waiting for him. He ate it anyway, greedily sucking down the noodles and broth. He dug around in the fridge for leftover chicken and an apple.

He saw his phone on the table and narrowed his eyes. Gguk stormed over to the table, snatched up the cellphone and sent off a rapid-fire text.

—

Ding.

  Ggukie: Hyung…

Taehyung grunted as he felt around for his phone. Trying not to spill the glass of water, he fumbled before pulling the phone to his face. He spied the time.

                                                4:30 am

“What the hell?” A deep rumble of sound as he responded.

  Hyungie: Gguk-ah, it’s late? Early? You ok?

Tae fumbled for the glasses he kept nearby, his vision sleep-blurred. The glasses were pulled right back off as he read the next text.

  Ggukie: I can’t, Tae. I can’t do this anymore.

  Hyungie: Can’t do what, Jeongguk?

  Ggukie: Pretend.

Taehyung smoothed the hair back from his face as he watched the chat bubble dot away for the next response. His phone pinged with a received message.

  Ggukie: I knew it, too. Back then, I knew it. We need to talk.

The Visual felt the smirk curving his mouth as he tossed the phone on the bed beside him. He stretched his arms upward as he fired off a reply. He rubbed his hands together as he got out of bed.

  Hyungie: Let’s have breakfast, Gguk-ah.

Taehyung knew he didn’t need to wait for a reply. He slipped on his robe, popped into his tata slippers, and grabbed his phone. He couldn’t help the pep in his step as he made his way down to the maknae’s room.

Taehyung had a hunch. He didn’t know what got Jeongguk to ponder the situation deeper? But, he was glad he did.

Because now? Now the real work could start.

Now they could plan ahead. Because they had about three and a half weeks before Christmas. A little over a month until the New Year.

And it looks like neither of them had any intentions of letting her sneak through their fingers this year.

Tae raised his hand to knock on a door that quickly opened before he could. A fiery-eyed Jeongguk, clad in black shirt and sweats, stepped aside to let him.

It has now been 121 days post kiss.