Sam Larusso - Tumblr Posts

samantha larusso icons. (ep 2, season 1)

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screencaps from kissthemgoodbye website.

samantha larusso icons. (ep 2/3, season 1)

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screencaps from kissthemgoodbye website.

samantha larusso icons. (ep 3, season 1)

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screencaps from kissthemgoodbye website.

samantha larusso icons (ep 3/4, season 1)

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screencaps from kissthemgoodbye website.

mary mouser icons.

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samantha larusso icons (ep 4, season 1)

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mary mouser icons.

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samantha larusso icons (ep 4/5, season 1)

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samantha larusso (ep 5, season 1)

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mary mouser's bday icons.

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mary mouser icons.

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samantha larusso 04x01 icons.

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samantha larusso 04x01 icons.

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samantha larusso 04x03 icons.

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samantha larusso 04x03 icons.

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A correct assessment of Sam's current character. I don't hate Sam, it's her actions that she committed that causes me to be neutral about her.

Teenagers make mistakes occasionally, and it's like all teenagers that make mistakes💯 Sam is human. While her past actions were bad, as a human being she still has the opportunity to make changes and develop as a character who can look outside the big picture and see what she can come up with.

Despite her mistake for nearly kissing Miguel while assuming Robby didn't want to talk to her anymore after the school brawl and sent to Juvie, it's a choice she made and she chose. If she wants to correct her mistakes, she has that opportunity to still develop.

I do find ot a bit annoying when people hate on Sam for things that have nothing to do with her. It's one thing to criticise her behavior with Robby or her inability to hold herself accountable but to go after her for things beyond that just feels wrong to me. Bear in mind that they are all teenagers and allowed to make mistakes. Sam's behavior towards Tory was snobby yes but that does not make her some horrible person. The only reason I criticise Sam is bc I feel that this fandom tends to go to one extreme of absolutely hating her for no reason to refusing to acknowledge any faults of hers. Sam is not a bad person at all but she has messed up and I don't think it's unfair to point out that she has yet to own up to her wrongdoings. That said, people hating on her for her rivalry with Tory isn't really fair since Tory is the one who really started it. Yes, Sam was really snobby and judgemental and I do think that she should've been called out for it but Tory overreacted in the worst kind of way. And as far as that kiss with Miguel goes, I do think Sam should've come clean to Robby right away and I do think that it was wrong but let's remember she was drunk. She was drunk and Miguel could've easily held her back instead he chose to kiss someone he knew was drunk and thus incapable of actually judging her actions properly. I'm not sure that I'd say she's the most hated character in the show bc Ive seen some very ardent Sam stans who go the other direction and refuse to even admit that Sam has behaved pretty badly on occasion herself. I'm not saying that people should blindly love Sam (I've been critical of her myself) or just hate her entirely but it is possible to criticise a person's actions and still acknowledge that they are not horrible irredeemable people-particularly teenagers

NOT A BULLY

What if Anthony didn't try to fight Kenny that night? What if he stood up to Zack and his fake friends? What if he helped Kenny instead of bullying him?

(HEY GUYS!!! Just thought of a random idea of what ifs: And this came to mind! Enjoy!)

SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING: Bullying, abuse, slurs

No, no guys you know what's it called? It's the trying-to-not-shit-in-my-pants dance!"

That shouldn't have been something Anthony had said the moment he joined in with his 'friends', Zack, Marcus and Slade verbal onslaught on the new kid; Kenneth or Kenny— something like that. The point is the entire bus was laughing at the African American middle schooler, who slumped in his seat in pure embarrassment. For some reason, the insult he threw at Kenny felt sour…and wrong on his tongue.

It bothered him the entire bus ride. Even after the laughter died down, especially from Zack, Anthony still feels himself in a dispute of what he did. Sighing, he takes out his PS Vita, begins playing Tekken Tag Tournament 2.

"It's whatever. We only insulted him one time. It's not like we will pick on him."

And he's hoping he's right.

— — — — — —

His thoughts from earlier went downhill when he hears Zack say something disturbing.

"Yo let's mess him up in basketball and juke his legs."

"Wait what? Zack, what are we doing?"

The LaRusso middle schooler looks at his friend with widened eyes.

"We're gonna embarrass him in front of the whole gym."

"Zack I thought we were only doing that one time on the bus-"

"Are you gonna be a wimp, LaPusso?"

The slur of his Italian surname cut Anthony's sentence. Irritated, Anthony forces himself to oblige to his blond haired friend's bullying tactics to impress his friends. But the more he thought about it, the more it made Anthony's stomach churn.

Friends don't peer pressure each other into doing bad things, right?

It turns out Kenny— now he remembers, outperforms them in basketball. Zack, Marcus and Slade were all groaning and annoyed at their losses. The moment Anthony tries to mess up Kenny's score however guilty he's feeling right now, the ball bounces on the hoop and before Anthony can move, it slams right on top of his head. This made him fall to the waxed gymnasium floor.

"I'm sorry about that. It was an accident." The meek yet apologetic tone of the new kid reaches Anthony's ears. He looks up to see Kenny lend him a hand, despite a nervous and hesitant expression on his face.

Anthony wanted to slap his hand away, hit him, make him pay. Make him stop talking with Lia which he saw in class earlier. But instantly those thoughts were out of his head, shocked with how cruel and violent he sounded internally.

He takes Kenny's hand, prompting him to lift Anthony up from the floor. He hears footsteps run towards them.

"Anthony are you alright?" The feminine voice of Lia makes him turn heads to see the girl he has a crush on. If he didn't feel embarrassed before, he's much more embarrassed after getting hit on the head with a ball. This was so embarrassing! Bullshit!

"Yeah. It was nothing." Anthony shrugs, feeling queasy from getting caught by Lia getting hurt and with Kenny helping him out. The awkwardness Anthony, until he hears Kenny speak.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you with the ball-"

"Dude just drop it okay? It's nothing." Anthony curtly replies, before turning around and getting away. At least he didn't insult him.

The moment he gets to where his friends are, he finds Zack scowling at him.

"What the hell was that?"

"What do you mean? I got hit with a ball."

"Then you should have punched him in the face. You're being a real pussy, LaPusso!"

"Stop calling me that." Anthony warns. He's heard enough with the name slurs.

"Then stop wimping out like a 5 year old. Look," Zack points behind Anthony. "Now Shitty dancer is taking away your so-called girlfriend."

Anthony glances to Zack's direction and to his melancholy and slight envy, he sees Lia being friendly with Kenny. It pains him from seeing this.

"Wow…that's gotta hurt." Marcus adds.

"He's taking your girl LaPusso." Slade comments.

"Are you going to let this kid claim her like his territory, LaPusso?"

The name slurs, along with how Zack was viewing her like nothing more than a piece of meat, made Anthony storm off. Wanting to be far away from his supposed 'friends'. The more he thought, the more he realized how much of a horrible influence Zack and them were to him.

They were like…his sister's friends when she broke up with that douchebag jock, Kyler— very 'big jackass' name. As vague as it was, he found out how rumors were spread around her school because she 'went down on Kyler'. Which was utter bullshit because he knows his sister is better than that and she wouldn't do something gross. But her 'friends' outcasted her from the popular group.

They were similar to his friends. It…frightened him.

Maybe…no, being friends with Zack was a mistake. He thought that by insulting Kenny that one time this morning would impress Zack. But then after doing it himself and hearing Zack and the other two until now tease him all day, he realized how bad Zack is.

His dad and mom would be furious to find out Anthony is friends with a bully. A trio of bullies to be specific.

"I just hope that today is the end of this bullying shit."

— — — — — —

"No."

He says, facing Zack with a glare. He's tired of this shit, it burned and churned his stomach and insides from how messed up Zack and his friends truly are.

Zack forced Anthony to catfish Kenny by posing as a girl online to lure him in as a fan-get together for Dungeon Lord. By dressing as his favorite character.

Not only is this against Anthony's will, but Zack takes his own cellphone and uses it to record Kenny and what they were about to him until Kenny smacks Anthony's phone out of Zack's hand, damaging it on the pavement. Anthony watches in horror as the other 3 bully Kenny and decimate his Dungeon Lord cosplay.

And they finally restrain the poor middle schooler, trying to coerce Anthony to get a free shot and beat him up using his karate skills that were nonexistent in him. It was his last straw.

"What you said LaPusso-"

"I said no. I'm not going to hit him."

Anthony's response caused the atmosphere around them to become tense and cold. The wind being the only thing to make noises, at first.

"So you're going to be a wuss and a pussy? Letting this kid steal your girl and walk all over you?" Zack challenges, stepping towards him.

Anthony seethes through his nostrils, giving his former friend a hardened glare.

"I'm not going to hit him. I'm not going to be a bully. I'm not going to do what you say anymore." Anthony replies. The three boys look at him in shock. "I'm not a bully."

"Oh, so you're going to defend him? You're his protector now, LaPusso?" It's Zack who asks with venom.

"It's LaRusso, Zackass." He spats. "Being friends with you was a mistake."

Zack pushes Anthony from hearing his snark. "You are a real fake piece of shit." He mocks, before clearing his throat "'My name is Anthony LaPusso, I'm a middle schooler who plays Dungeon Lord and Tekken, and loves to be a loser to his rich mommy and daddy like a little pussy-!"

CRACK

The popping of a muscle echoed the air as Zack falls down harshly, shouting while he clutches his nose. Kenny and his captors are flabbergasted by the sight as Anthony punches Zack right in the face.

Even Anthony stood there paralyzed. All he saw was red before he found Zack on the ground. He realizes he punches his former friend when his knuckles begin to hurt.

"You fucking jerk! You--broke my nose!" Came the hollering of Zack. Anthony knew that. He knew he struck first and punched him. He didn't know what came over him but he knew the situation was going to get worse from here.

The next thing he knew, Anthony was on the ground, getting assaulted by three teens. Getting punched, kicked, and shoved on the ground. Kenny, who was released by his captors, sits in pure shock and horror of the events played out. Unable to move, sickened by the violent sight.

As if they knew to stop, the three boys stopped their onslaught and ran off, after hearing dogs barking at them as if they would get caught.

Anthony lays on the dirt ground, clutching his stomach in pain and groaning from the bruises on his face.

He didn't know how long he was laying in the ground for. But his vision of the nighttime sky is obscured by a dark skin and familiar African American teen.

"H-Hey, are you alright?" Kenny asks, hesitancy dripping in his tone. Anthony gives him a deadpan look despite the pain. "S-Sorry, that was a stupid question."

"It doesn't matter. It's whatever." Anthony utters out. He was more worried about the pain and bruises on his face. His parents are going to raise hell on Earth when they see him like this.

"No no it-it does matter. They beat you up. A-And you have a black eye." Kenny tries to reason with him, hesitant if he should help him.

"Why do you care? Shouldn't you leave me here and run because of who I used to be with?" Anthony snaps, yet he coughs out air, causing him to groan in pain from his stomach getting kicked on.

"Because…you…you helped me from getting bullied. From getting hurt. You let them beat you up instead of me." Kenny stammers out. Kenny wants to help the poor teen who saved him.

"W-What are you doing?" Anthony chokes out.

"I'm gonna help you. And take you home."

The younger LaRusso stares at him with bewildered eyes. "You? To take me home? After what I did earlier?"

"Then why did you stop them from hurting me? Because you didn't want to bully me." Kenny cuts him off. "Let me help you. It's the least I can do. Plus I can't leave you by yourself like this."

If Anthony could gape, he would. But the bruises on his face would make him yelp in pain. With no effort to resist, Anthony allows Kenny to lift him up and help him.

"Where do you live?"

"Um…" Despite allowing him to help, he felt reluctant to reveal his address. "1734 Escalon Drive…" He trails off.

The duo managed to get to the LaRusso estate. After a very long walk, they finally reach the familiar driveway of the mansion. Even though Kenny's from Encino himself, he felt small looking at Anthony's place. When they passed by larger mansions, Kenny knew Anthony comes from a family with money.

"This…is your house?" Kenny stammers, looking at the luxury Tuscan-style villa.

"Yeah, it is. My parents own a car dealership franchise." The moment that left Anthony's mouth, it hits Kenny like a truck.

LaRusso…LaRusso Autos.

"Your dad is Daniel LaRusso? The guy who owns multiple car dealerships and a karate dojo?"

"Y-Yeah he is. Wait, you never knew?" Anthony questions him confused. "My last name alone is different from everyone else's. The moment someone mentions LaRusso, everyone in The Valley knows they are talking about my dad and the car dealership franchise."

"Sorry, I just didn't connect it at first." They walk up to the door. Anthony, too dazed to look for his house keys, rings the doorbell.

"Hey," Anthony calls out to Kenny who glances back. "Thanks for…um helping me. I didn't think you'd…you know after what happened."

"It's okay. After you defended me from them, I forgive you for saying what you said back at the bus." Kenny answers.

"It was stupid of me. I shouldn't have said that because it wasn't right of me." Anthony responds weakly.

"You only did it because you wanted to impress them, right?" At Kenny's question, the younger LaRusso nods. "Then they weren't your friends to begin with. They peer-pressured you to do things out of spite."

"Well, looks like I'll be a target too tomorrow." Anthony laments. The fact that he'll be the ire of Zack will trouble him.

"Hey, you can stay with me tomorrow for school. I'm just someone who is new. I can be your friend." Kenny gains Anthony's attention from this. The remaining awkwardness in the atmosphere left, replaced with a friendlier air. "I'm Kenny Payne."

"Anthony LaRusso." He offers Kenny a weak smile.

The door swings open, startling both teens.

"Anthony there y- Oh my god! What the hell happened!? Daniel!" The woman, appearing middle aged with short brown hair in casual clothing, shouts at Anthony with worry. To Kenny, this must be Mrs. LaRusso.

The instant said patriarch of the LaRusso Auto family appears, his face morphs to that of horror and anger.

"Anthony! Are you okay!? What the hell happened!?" Right on cue, Daniel sees Kenny beside his son. "You are…?"

"My name is Kenny, s-sir."

"As much as we'd like to do formalities, can you boys tell me what happened?" Amanda, the fierce mother of Anthony asks.

"Mom…Dad…I can explain…" He muses, his voice dry.

"There were these 3 boys who were bullying me and tried to hurt me. Anthony stopped them and tried to make them leave but they started to attack him and beat him up." Kenny explains for Anthony. "They called him all kinds of slurs and beat him."

The LaRussos were shocked. Their very own, gamer and software geek son stood up for this boy? Without any knowledge of karate? If the situation didn't turn out bad, they would have been ecstatic, especially Daniel. But right now, their youngest child had just been beaten up.

"Really? You saved him from getting hurt?" Daniel asks out, simply astounded.

"Yeah Dad…they wanted to hurt him badly. I just wanted to…help out a friend." He replies while being mindful of the pain.

"They also broke his phone." Kenny takes out the broken iPhone that once belonged to his friend.

"No wonder why I couldn't get a hold of you." Amanda said with frustration.

"I am very glad you stood up for your friend Anthony, but they really beat you up badly." Daniel tells him, eyeing all the marks.

"And you," Amanda faces Kenny "Thank you for bringing our son back to us. I didn't know what could happen if you weren't there to help him home."

Kenny felt shy from the praise. "It-It was just me helping out a friend, Mrs. LaRusso." Kenny repeats what Anthony said.

"Please call me Amanda." Said woman corrects him before she turns to Anthony and takes him.

"Mom, Dad, what is- oh my God Anthony! What happened!?" A feminine voice calls out, appearing as a teenage brunette who has similar features to Anthony.

"Sam, please get me the first aid kit." Amanda instructs her eldest daughter. "Your brother got beaten up by a trio of assholes. His friend brought him home. But please get me the first aid box."

Just as Sam goes back inside, Daniel pats Kenny's shoulder, getting startled.

"Kenny, I'm really glad you helped our son get home. You are a true friend to him. We appreciate you for helping." Daniel praises. Kenny felt a mixture of shyness and joy from hearing this. He gives him a small smile.

"You're welcome Mr. LaRusso."

"Do you live around here?" The male asks. Kenny shakes his head.

"No sir. I live on the other side of Encino."

Daniel's mouth parts open. "So the two of you walked that far to here? Jesus that is a long walk. Let me drive you home. I can make sure you are back safe and sound."

Before Kenny can kindly decline, Anthony speaks up. "Kenny, take my dad's offer. He's really insistent in helping people out of kindness and generosity." This earned a knowing smile from both of his parents.

"Sure Mr. LaRusso. I'll go." Kenny responds. With that Daniel went to go and start his four door Audi sedan.

"Hey." Anthony calls out to Kenny. "See you at school tomorrow?"

Kenny simply smiles. "Yeah, I'll see you at school."

Kenny shows him a fist. Realizing what Kenny is doing, Anthony fist bumps Kenny before the latter joins Mr. LaRusso in the car.

Kenny wasn't a bad person at all…Kenny just became his friend.

The latter thought the same thing about Anthony. He became his first friend.

just to put this on record: if my ass can't like or interact with a picture, post, or edit of a person on any social platform without having to click out of the post immediately after looking at it enough lest i see unnecessarily nasty ass comments about that person's appearance and weight despite said person having admitted they have had a interesting relationship with their weight, food, and the fact that they're fucking diabetic in the past, then that's a huge fucking problem that a fandom should work on, and should want to work on btw, especially if said fandom has been around for nearly a decade (and is a spawn of a larger fandom that's been around for three).

that's like common sense i fear.

it's that difficult to keep your opinions and thoughts like that to yourselves? did you forget what the foundation of that show was based on? do you remember a particular fictional character from the show (who's no longer on it but you get the damn point) who suffered the exact same fate that this person i am talking about is going through (and probably has been going through)? perhaps im overstepping since i am a newer-viewer but some of y'all (collective term) are nasty asf.

I like your blog so much, it’s beautiful.l! And we both like Cobra Kai! I have a quick question how do feel about Sam’s character?

Oh. Thank you so much haha!!! I'm glad we both love CK though, let's be real, you probably have been a fan longer than me since I just started the show less than a year ago lol.

But Sam's character is an interesting one. While I don't particularly vibe with her, I don't hate her. I don't think she's the worst character in the cast and I don't dislike her the way the majority of the fandom does. Like at all. I hate the way people treat her character like she's the worst in the bunch. Like bro Hawk and Kyler alone did much worse things than Sam and yet they're MUCH more liked than her which I can never understand.

But yeah. Sam reminds me of Nini from High School Musical: the Musical: the Series in the sense that she's the cutesy bubbly main girl character that I particularly don't vibe with. But I love Sam much more than I do Nini as she has redeeming qualities. I love her PTSD storyline for the show and I think they did it fairly well. I also don't mind her and Miguel as a couple either. Like if you told me they got married years down the line I'd believe you.

Also... Mary fucking Mouser's a charmer without a doubt. She's a bright light that makes Sam all the more likeable I swear. I can look at them baby blues all day if needed.

But thanks for the ask! And I hope you stick around! :)

old friends, part two. eli moskowitz x reader

summary 📣: in which two old friends reunite but it doesn’t end how the reader had hoped.

warning/s 🚫: swearing, small amount of violence, drinking and drug use, and sort of manipulation i guess, depends how you take it

slater’s note 🗯: unedited and thank you for the support on part one, also comment if you want to be on the tag list 😃

part one, part two, part three, part four

“woah hey, let’s settle down here,” miguel had shoved his way between the two of you quite dramatically, pressing his hands against both your chests, using most of his force on eli when pushing you two away from eachother.

he had thought the boy with angry red hair would bite your head off right then.

hawk had a new found reputation that he couldn’t ruin, not for demetri, not for you, not for anyone.

you had thought about that moment a lot, how close you two were to eachother, his chest almost touching yours as his eyes sunk into yours, eating away at all dignity and hope you had right in that moment.

it just all disappeared.

“moon’s throwing a party friday night, and i need someone to drive me,” miguel didn’t look at you as he kept on scribbling down notes for the lab currently taking place right in front of you.

you paused with your own work, looking over to him. you had your eyebrows raised with a grim light smile on your face. it was barely there, the smile, but the dimples on your cheeks indicated it was.

it had been a week after actually talking to eli for the first time over a long past couple of months and you had barely found yourself smiling, everything just dead and the only thing filling your mind was him.

you only found the ability to concentrate when with miguel and his presence because he actually talked and tried to get you to talk, unlike demetri who really didn’t mind the silence but somehow found ways to make it awkward for no reason.

“you need a designated driver, don’t you?”

“that and i still don’t have my lisences,” he nodded shamelessly, setting down the pencil he was writing with, “and i want you to come.”

“oh you do, do you?”

“yeah, it’ll be good for you, maybe get a couple of guys’ numbers,” he tried to play it off but still somehow got trapped in his web by the change of tone in his voice. light, squeaky, almost high enough for a voice crack.

he just couldn’t pull off trying to set you up with some guy without it seeming related to eli... and getting over eli. it never worked because both of your minds went in that direction.

“no, bad idea.”

“c’mon, y/n, you haven’t a boyfriend in what? twenty years?” he joked.

“i haven’t had a boyfriend since sixth grade... and that was sixth grade so it doesn’t really count.”

miguel rolled his eyes before looking back at you seriously, “i for real need a dd and i don’t want to ask sam because-“

“yeah, whatever, i’ll still drive you, i’m just not going to stay for long,” you waved him off before coming to a realization, “what about tory?”

“she can’t drive either.”

“that’s the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard-“

“miguel, i need to talk to you.”

you’re cut off mid eye roll, hawk standing before your lab table, looking straight at miguel.

but the boy staring at miguel looked more like eli then hawk, his whole guard looking weak, shoulders hunched, while he tapped his fingers in the air by his side. hawk looked nervous.

he wouldn’t look at you, making you swallowing roughly, your heart squeezing in pain.

look at me.

just look at me, please, just look.

he didn’t, so you gave up, glancing to miguel who looked back to you, the same confused expression on his face as he was scooting off the stool he was sitting on, nodding.

you watched them walk away from your lab table, towards the door that led to the hall, your bio chemistry teacher not even caring, but you caring very very much.

°•

friday arrived faster then you originally thought it would. the los angeles valley air not wavering one bit as it stayed cool and calm, just perfect for a party, especially at moon’s house with her heated pool and multi colored LED light hottub.

and just liked promised, you drove miguel to the party with the exception of demetri and tory... who could in fact not drive.

“hey, you’re not staying?” demetri leaned a little through the rolled down window of your classic purple jeep, his eyebrow quirked in a little confusion.

if you were being honest, you weren’t sure why demetri was staying himself. you weren’t the only one trying to mend a relationship with eli, but at least when you did it, it hadn’t included public embarrassment but demetri kept on trying and trying, getting no where. and he just wasn’t a party person in general.

you weren’t sure how he kept up.

“i’m probably just gonna go home and watch some movies,” you nodded, trying to convince yourself that’d be much more fun then staying at the already tempting looking party, “...yeah, but don’t worry, i’ll be back around 12 to pick you guys up.”

his lips were pressed in a flat line of disappointment as he was trying to think your plan over, he shook his head but before he could argue someone beat him to it.

“y/n, get out of the fucking car!”

a large man was hauling himself up the driveway of moon’s home, marching his way towards your car, a very frustrated expression filling his features, all huffy and red.

miguel hopped behind him, trying to keep up with him with a very amused expression, grinning over to you innocently.

this was the only way to get you to stay.

the only way was to force you and the only person who would fully have the ability to force you was stingray.

otherwise known as raymond, a middle aged man who lived with his mother and took karate at cobra kai dojo with a bunch of high schoolers and took no shame because of it.

and miguel knew this, that’s why he had gotten out of the car quickly and raymond was the first person he went to once he entered the very nice home.

the older man already had your car door open and ahold of your upper arm before you could even process anything, a very persistent expression on his face, making it very noticeable that he had a plan.

no one could stop him.

“you really thought you could stop by without saying hi to me?” he scolded you, still tightly holding your upper arm way above your height as he was dragging you into the home.

you glared at miguel as stingray continued to lecture you about how rude it was of you to not even come inside. he only grinned back at you, an innocent twinge mixed in it, but so so obviously guilty.

the house already smelt of alcohol and a hint of weed. the blaring of music really pulled it all together as people bumped their heads to the bass beat, some goofily swinging around to it.

it had been awhile.

you had done a lot of drinking and partying during the summer before school started. you lived so freely during that time but that freedom had ended you up in a cage.

a cage you weren’t even aware you were in until too late.

while your friends had all scampered off to karate, training themselves into a healthy routine, you fell into an unhealthy one.

it took a lot to pull you out of it, something that involved the authorities but you stopped and learned better.

the smell was only just the beginning, you knew once you had enter that home, you were screwed, it would lead to a little drinking that would turn into a lot of drinking, that would turn into trouble.

you just had to keep in control.

“you okay?”

“yeah, fine.”

“you don’t look fine.”

“you’re right, i lied. i’m perfect.”

miguel quirked his eyebrow at you while staring at the side of your face, your eyes trained on something he couldn’t figure out what.

you couldn’t yourself.

“i’m sorry for dragging you here, probably wasn’t a good idea now that i think about it...” he gives up looking at you, expecting you to look back.

“it’s fine.”

“will you actually be fine?”

“yep.”

“sure.”

lie.

he didn’t know that, if he did, he probably wouldn’t have left you alone with a free for all options of alcohol and drugs.

you were on it fast once he went outside, looking for tory. you poured a can of beer into a red solo cup, disguising the obvious bad habit that everyone knew you had, that everyone would try to stop you from falling back into.

it’s just... the person you’d least except to do so, would be the first one to catch you.

you had to be at least five beers down, no longer hiding the fact that you were drinking. you began hitting the heavy stuff, pouring yourself a glass a vodka with sprite for a mixer.

“should you be doing that?” his voice sound behind you, not even shocking you for you were too buzzed to be bothered by anything at that moment, even eli.

you finished pouring the sprite in the cup before turning around, shrugging, “doesn’t matter.”

“your miguel’s dd, aren’t you?”

“yeah, who’s yours?”

“myself.”

you scoffed, not looking to him until then, your facial features scrunched up in confusion, “since when can you drive, eli?”

he cringed at his name and the way you said it. wrapped with so much disgust and annoyance that he would rather have you ‘hawk’ even thought it’d be worse on your tongue.

but at least it wouldn’t be his name.

“i got my license this summer while you were out getting wasted at strangers homes.”

it stung, so you took a drink from the plastic cup. the drink flowed so easily and so swiftly down your throat as he stared at you with an almost sadden expression, almost.

“you’re fucking stupid,” he spat, trying to remove any sympathy he had for you, “after all you put yourself through, after all you put miguel through, and demetri through, and sam through, you’re really going to start doing the thing that kept your parents up at night again?”

after all you put me through, keeping me up at night. i hate you for that, y/n.

hurt, drink, swallow, ingest.

settle, think, ignore.

“what do you think miguel’s gonna think when he walks through that sliding glass door? do you really want to embarrass yourself like that? after all that happened, after all the trust you had to earn back, you really want to do that again?”

drink, ignore.

he could see that his words weren’t going through. eli clenched his jaw, took a few steps closer to you.

“do you really want to be doing this, y/n?” he was now leaned in close to you, his mouth close to your cheek as he begun whispering, “you just got your lisense back, you just got everything back.”

drink.

“don’t be stupid,” he finally said, walking away after awhile of silence, letting it settle into your brain while you gripped the solo cup tightly.

his words flew through one ear and out the other because not even half an hour later you found yourself standing with one foot on a stool in a drinking competition against tory, another big drinker of the valley who you had bonded with over the summer even through her busy schedule of karate, working two jobs, and just general personal time.

she found balance and you could never find out how.

you could never find balance.

miguel stared up at you uneasily while you easily downed a shot of whatever they put in the little green plastic cup.

he knew this was his fault and began to regret making stingray drag you into the party instead of letting you go in peace.

he could have found another dd if you hadn’t come back even as you said you would, but it would’ve been fine if you didn’t, he hadn’t even drunk that much, not as much as you.

you knew your limits, and he pushed them.

eli stood on the porch, twenty feet away from where the scene took place with his arms crossed, a crowd of teens surrounding you and tory, cheering you on and he just knew it was so wrong.

a lot of people saw you spiral and if not, they sure heard about it and yet here they were still cheering you on into something that could so easily kill you.

you threw your fifth shot down, a grin on your face, “beat that, nichols.”

“i’m planning on it, y/l/n,” she smiled back at you, reaching out her hand for another product of alcohol, “robby, next cup.”

the boy stared up at her, uneasiness in his face, keeping his arms crossed. robby keene didn’t drink, he didn’t like watching people drink, especially two girls who didn’t know when to call it quits.

“keene, beer me,” she growled, but he still stared up at her, a disapproving look hidden in his features.

“i got you tory!” stingray hustled from the crowd after robby once again denied her, completely dismissive to the two forties taped on both his hands.

he had knocked tory from the stool real fast for anyone to process and onto her back as rushing to her aid for beer. it caused a ricochet of cheers as a winner was finally presented after ten minutes of too painful to watch drinking.

“hell yeah!” you were handed a clear bottle of vodka, making you chug the clear liquid, a burning sensation no longer present like before when you had taken a sip for the first time in months.

“y/n, let’s get you down,” miguel reached up, causing your face to screw up in anger and confusion.

“no way, let’s go again.”

“it’s getting late,” robby mumbled, trying to help, but his eyes were anywhere but yours and miguel’s, like he was embarrassed to say something.

“yeah, y/n, your my designated driver, remember? you have to drive me home,” he hoped you would fall for it, he hoped you would get down from the stool and put down the bottle.

“no, you’re going to need to find someone else,” you mumbled, looking out into the now busy crowd that was no longer focused on you, “i’m too fucked.”

at least you were aware.

“y/n, just get down from the stool,” sam spoke for the first time, her concern reaching your ears making your face screw up even more, looking down away from the crowd and to your four friends.

“no-“

you hiccuped, falling to the ground from the stool tipping, eli standing right next to it, his hands dug into his sweatpants pockets.

he had swung his leg from right underneath the wooden stool that was already unstable from you slightly swaying.

“hey, what the fuck!” silence filled the air after your words had come out with no hesitation, looks of shock were directed to the boy, taken back by his move.

“you’re welcome,” he gave miguel a pointed look before walking away like nothing, hands still tucked in his pockets.

he was too relaxed, it angered you and you wanted to anger him just like he did to you everytime he had ever ignored your text, your calls, everytime he ignored your yells of his name in the hall, everytime he would ignore your questions directed towards him. every. single. fucking. time.

you wanted to hurt him, like he hurt you.

so without much more thought, you got up quickly, rushing towards him before anyone could stop you and shoving him roughly.

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