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「 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬. 」
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Dark mob!Nick Fowler x Married Naive!Male Reader
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: +18, Angst, Fluff, Smut (DUB-CON?), murder, unprotected sex, obsessed Nick, depression, suicide attempt, kidnapping, blood & knife play, twisted sex, creampie, slapping, choking, major character death, breeding, praising, bondage (?), use of pet names (Darling & baby), orgasm control, mature/dark themes.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.6k+
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Nick’s goal was to execute the best target in order to claim himself as one of the most powerful mob bosses in the world. He happens to run into his target’s husband. Nick will do everything in his power to take what’s his and only his.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: This is a DARK fic. Please DO NOT read if any of these warnings trigger you. I am not responsible for what you read online. This is my first time writing for Nick so, reblogs and comments are appreciated as they help my blog grow <3
₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐒𝐈𝐓
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He found his Peggy
Before Steve passed away he told (y/n) to “Find your Peggy.” Only after Steve’s funeral did he finally understand what he meant by: “Find your Peggy”.
Relationship: Bucky “James” Barnes X male!reader, Sam Wilson X male!reader (platonic)
Request: NO
Warnings: Mentions of grief, loss, broken hearts, mentions of wounds. Main character Death, surgery, mentions of ED, using sex as a form of coping (unsafely), mentions of homophobia
This one has a bit of a set up. I will not apologize for there the background though mainly angst with very little fluff.
(y/n) grew up alone. Never looking back or relying on people. Not once in his life did he think things were ever going to go his way. Lost his mother and father at a young age, lost his grandparents shortly after, being disowned by what was left of his family for being queer after they promised they would always stick together. (y/n) knew disappointment and resentment like that back of his hand, so he enlisted into the US Air Force to hopefully find something to do with his life. He hid who he was behind tattoos and a bulky front act for his “Military Family” as he liked to say.
During his time he met Sam wilson. Sam broke his walls down and helped him heal. (y/n) told him about his issue and Sam responded in kind. This was the first time he could be real with someone and he felt like a person. Sam never got upset with him or condemned him for his emotions. It was quite the opposite and a lot of “Hey man, it's ok to have emotions. I’m here for you man. Whenever you need me, you know where to find me”.
When (y/n) heard about Sam leaving due to personal reasons he cried, Hard. (y/n) felt like he was losing another brother. This shut down (y/n) again. He became a hard and solid soldier (not that he wasn't already.), quickly rising to the top of his class (for a lack of a better word). He sharpened his senses and stopped putting his trust in the people around the base and once again fell back into the cycle that was cynicism.
The moment (y/n) got the notice he was being discharged he packed up his stuff very carefully. He was injured in the air and was forced to crash land the jet he was in. He was told by the Doctor that did the surgery that his heart stopped twice and he was very lucky to have made it though. After he made it back out into the work he moved to Washington DC to look for work. He found a pretty cheap apartment and settled in. He never really unpacked much, just some basic necessities. It looked like he never lived there, but if you looked closer you could see the small remnants of a military man. The bed was made a specific way, apartment always clean, bag stuffed under the bed, the shades always drawn closed to block the outside world out and keep him inside. He almost never slept on the bed, it was either the floor or the couch on an easy night.
(y/n) suffered from his wounds. Physical and mental. It didn’t matter, it started to take a toll on him as he suffered from night terrors and paranoia. Once he was cleared by his physical therapist he started going on runs in the morning to clear his mind from the terrors that plagued his mind in his sleep. One morning he came across an Ad on a cork board outside of a shelter he frequently passed on his routine. It was an ad for group counseling for Veterans. Pushing aside the distrust for therapist and counseling he pulled a slip off the weathered and slightly crisp yellow paper and slipped it in his jacket pocket then went about his routine for the day.
A few days later he stood in front of a builder that held the address that matched up with the one on the slip of paper he pocketed a few days before. A shiver ran down his spine as he took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, making his way inside. He slowly sat down towards the back and kept his head low before the session started. He was startled out of his daze when he heard a man speak up, a man he hadn’t heard from in 6 years. Sam Wilson. His head shot up in alarm as Sam started speaking to the group of veterans in the room.
The session consisted of basic introductions and some people talking about how their experience in the service was. (y/n) kept to himself for most of it, only talking about how he had to force a land and ended up being discharged due to injury. After the session was over, (y/n) shakily rose to his feet and turned to leave. He heard Sam call out to him and jog over.
“Hey man, nice to see you, it's been a while. How have you been?” The question caused (y/n) to freeze. Shit had gotten hard, not just hard but almost unbearable. “Honestly Sam, I just missed my best friend.” (y/n) retorted and pulled Sam into a bone crushing hug, silently wincing at the faint pain in his shoulder. (y/n) and Sam spent the day making up for the 6 years of absence and reconnecting over beer and greasy bar food.
Over the next few months (y/n) and Sam fell into a routine. Morning jogs, lunch, afternoon counseling then went about their days. One morning went a bit differently. As Sam and (y/n) were out on their morning run they heard quick footsteps approaching them and a quick “To your left” as a man sped past them. This continued their whole run and (y/n) found it extremely annoying but he kept it at bay. When they finished the run Sam walked over to the stranger, (y/n) following closely behind. He stayed silent during the conversation (other than introducing himself).
A few days later he was kicking it with Sam to pass the time after his shift at the music store by his apartment. He heard a knock on the door and hollered for Sam to get the door. He bristled when the door opened and he saw Steve Rogers and the redhead woman that picked him up standing in the doorway, looking rather banged up and exhausted. Sam let them in and told (y/n) to close the blinds. (y/n) did as Sam asked and grabbed towels for Steve and the Woman, Natasha so they could clean up. After they cleaned up and talked for a while they were filled in and told about Shield and Hydra (Which (y/n) had some knowledge about due to his military background). When they asked if they could help Sam immediately said yes but (y/n) was more apprehensive but eventually said yes.
(y/n) had gotten severely injured during the battle in the helicarriers and was admitted to the hospital. Sam and Natasha regularly checked in with him, keeping him up to date about Steve’s condition and the news. After (y/n) was discharged from the hospital he packed up what little things were around his apartment and went over to Sam’s to let him know he was leaving for Brooklyn. (y/n) said it was for a change of pace but Sam knew better. They shared a hug and Sam promised to keep in touch. (y/n) over the next 2 years led a steady and quiet life, staying in the shadows and off government radars the best he could. That changed the day 50% of the Earth's population disappeared into thin air. After that he roped into helping hold meetings with Steve to help form a community and a safe place in the new and scary world that was so suddenly thrust upon them. (y/n) helped out around Avengers HQ where he could. During this time Steve and (y/n) got close while mourning Sam and Steve Mourning Bucky and Sam. They became as close as brothers.
There was a day that (y/n) was getting a drink in the compound kitchen area and he heard a loud rumbling noise, Looking over at Steve he sent him a nod then booked it for the lawn area to see a ship (in rough shape) landing and a skinny, malnourished Tony Stark come fumbling out the ship. (y/n) heard Pepper gasp and ran to Tony to help him up and get him inside to receive medical attention. After Tony’s outburst at the table (y/n) excused himself and went to his apartment. (y/n) spent the night drinking and sobbing about all the people who had disappeared.
Over the next 7 years (y/n) was in and out of the compound to keep Steve company or work. One day when he was at the compound he Heard Tony storm in saying that he figured out time travel and that they could reverse what had happened. That caused (y/n) to perk up with interest and he helped Bruce the best he could to get something set up so they could do it properly and retrieve the stones. (y/n) stayed behind and monitored the area and kept an eye on the screens. Everyone came back, except Natasha. He watched in horror as Clint broke down in silent sobs. (y/n) felt his stomach drop, Natasha wasn’t quite a sister but they were close in the last 9 years since the mission in Washington. Bruce took charge and snapped, reversing the Blip.
The next thing (y/n) knows he is standing side by side with Steve on the battlefield, across from Thanos and his army. A handful of monsters and a power hungry alien that was trying to get the stones. (y/n) sent a silent plea for strength and help before looking towards Steve, who sent him a stoic look.
“To your left” said an all too familiar voice into (y/n) and Steve’s earpiece as thousands of orange portals opened, thousands of people came out of the portals. The only one that mattered to (y/n) was Sam who came flying next to him before landing. “Are you really here?” (y/n) asked, his voice quiet and choked. “I am here brother. I’m here.” Sam said before hugging (y/n), something the two didn’t do regularly before turning back to Steve to await the call to rush into action. Steve made the call and the battle commenced.
They ended up winning, but at the cost of Tony. Everyone on the field took a knee and a violent hush fell over the chaos that surrounded him, cut by sniffles and the cries from loved ones. They held a funeral at Tony’s lakehouse and Steve volunteered to take back the stones. (y/n) had a bad gut feeling about it but waited with Bucky and Sam by the lake side. As Bruce looked in confusion when Steve didn’t return, (y/n) saw Bucky’s shoulders fall slightly. (y/n) then realized that Steve never planned on returning to the present day. (y/n) turned towards Bucky and placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder in sympathy, Bucky glanced at (y/n) as he pointed to the lake side. There was an old man resting on the bench and Bucky looked down with a soft smile but a pained look in his eyes, something (y/n) was all too familiar with. (y/n) and Bucky looked over at Sam who was walking over to Steve who was sitting on the bench. The two were in deep conversation. (y/n) watches with Bucky as Sam picks up the shield and finishes his conversion with Steve. (y/n) looked over at Bucky, who sighs and looks down in contemplation. “Don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to.” (y/n) whispered then nodded to Steve, who sent him a small wave.
Over the next few years (y/n) kept in touch with Steve who consistently asked if (y/n) had found anyone who only got back a snarky “now that you're old, you are so nosy” and a laugh. Steve always told (y/n) to look out for Bucky and Sam, which he did. He and Bucky became closer. Not as close as Sam or Steve but they became friends. In this time (y/n) slowly took notice of things he never did before. The way Bucky’s eyes lit up when talking to Steve, the nostalgia that overtook Bucky’s features when Steve told him about The Howling Commandos, the way Bucky's eyebrows furrow when he was in deep thought, how Bucky bites his cuticles when he thinks no one is looking, it was little stuff but it meant something to (y/n). During one visit with Steve, (y/n) was talking about something and Steve looked at him as (y/n) told him about some story that happened last week with Bucky.
Steve chuckled and (y/n) stopped mid sentence. “What was that about?” (y/n) asked as he returned focus to Steve. “You’re in love with him.” Steve said with a soft smile. (y/n) choked on air. “I am sorry? Me? In love with Bucky?” He said. “I know that look and the way you talk about him is how I talk about Peggy. You have to find your Peggy.” Steve said, leaving (y/n) dumbfounded. This soon became sort of a catchphrase for Steve. It was always “find your Peggy. Life is short, make the most of it.” and (y/n) took it to heart.
When Bucky got the phone call that Steve had passed he rushed over to (y/n)’s apartment to tell him. (y/n) had heard the news already and was asked to be a paul bearer. He said yes and looked to Bucky for emotional support. The two of them grieved together and helped plan the funeral. (y/n) openly cried at the burial while Bucky was more put together, but (y/n) knew Bucky was just as torn up as he was.
(y/n) was asked to speak at the funeral. He told the story of how he met Steve and he was a good man and an even better guy. “When I would visit Steve he would always, without fail, pry into my love life, or lack thereof. He noticed the small things y’know. I would sit differently and he would notice. He also always told me to ‘Find your Peggy, and to always cherish them because life is short. Make the most of it’.” (y/n) said as he started to break down again. After the crowd had dispersed, (y/n) stayed and talked to the casket that held Steve’s body. He cried and told him that he would miss him, then he talked about how he finally understood what he said about finding his peggy. (y/n) told the Casket that he loved Bucky and he would always keep him in his heart even if he didn’t love him back. He laid a small white Chrysanthemum on the casket and turned to leave, only to see Bucky back by a tree, talking to a younger girl who was consoling him.
(y/n) felt his heart rip in two when he saw Bucky slip an arm around her waist and walk away from the grave side. His head was fuzzy and he felt like the wind was knocked from his lungs as he took cautious steps towards his car. When (y/n) got his head together he drove away in silence from Bucky and the grave sight. (y/n) choked down tears the whole way home, only allowing himself to cry after he got the door locked and laying on the floor, not even making it to his own room. The next morning he felt sore from laying on the floor, his mouth dry and head pounding from crying. He slowly got up and made his way to the kitchen to get some water and pain killers to alleviate his headache. He checked his phone to see a few texts from Bucky and a missed call from him. The texts were asking where he had disappeared off to and one saying goodnight.
(y/n) checked the voice mail from the missed call. “Hey (y/n), it’s Bucky. I was just wanting to check in and see how you were doing. You seemed pretty shaken when you left. Call me back when you can. Remember we have lunch tomorrow. See you then, Take care” Bucky’s voice played back through the phone. (y/n) sighed and deleted the message. He went and hopped in the shower, washing off the grime from yesterday and to recenter himself. He slipped on a pair of jeans with boots and a plain cotton T-shirt. Grabbing his keys and phone. He locked his apartment door and left.
(y/n) went to the diner they planned on meeting at for lunch. When he walked up to the door he saw Bucky and the girl from yesterday sitting at a table, talking about something. She said something that caused Bucky to laugh, (y/n) took notice of how Bucky threw his head back and the way his lips stretched into a smile as he laughed. (y/n)’s body shook a little as his feet practically glued himself to the pavement outside the diner. Taking a deep breath (y/n) made his way inside and over to them. When Bucky saw him, he stood up and gave him a one armed side hug and motioned for him to sit. (y/n) sits down and Bucky falls into a natural conversation with the Woman across from him. Bucky looks over at (y/n) and furrows his eyebrows. “I forgot to introduce you, this is Ellie. My girlfriend. Ellie, this is one of my close friends, (y/n).” Bucky said as he took a drink from his cup.
“It's nice to meet you, (y/n).” Ellie said, shifting in her seat. “Likewise” (y/n) responded before ordering water. (y/n) felt his heart crack a bit more as he saw the way Bucky was interacting with Ellie. (y/n) ordered his food and ate, making the occasional comment then going quiet and eating. (y/n) felt out of place, he felt like a third wheel. When lunch ended he quickly left. Only when he got home did he start breaking down again as he felt his soul being crushed.
Now he understood why Steve said to “find your peggy.”. He waited too long and now He was gone.
(y/n) spent the next few months in agony. At night he went out and partied or went to whatever bar was close to his current location. He took whatever girl or guy that showed any interest in him back to their place and hooked up with them, only to leave in the morning before the other person woke up. (y/n) ate less and ended up losing some weight. He wasn’t rail thin but he didn’t exactly look physically healthy. He always went and got checked to make sure he didn’t catch anything. This became his new routine. He was trying to force his feelings for Bucky away.
One night as he grabbed his keys to go out for the 4th time this week he heard a knock on the door. (y/n) huffed quietly then made his way to the door. When he answered it he was not expecting to see Bucky, tear stained face and eyes rimmed red that made the blue in them more prominent.
“Ellie left me” was all he said before breaking down, leaning on (y/n)’s shoulder. (y/n) felt his heart crack again for the first time since he started going out. (y/n) sighed out and let bucky in, guiding to the stools in his kitchen and making him sit down. (y/n) moved fluidly through the kitchen and grabbed a couple beers from his mostly empty fridge and opened one before passing it to Bucky then turning away to the sink. With shaky hands (y/n) opened his own beer and took a drink from it for courage, then he turned to face Bucky only to meet his eyes. Bucky was studying (y/n)’s body language.
“Stop that.” (y/n) snapped as he leaned against the counter. “Stop what?” Bucky said as he looked back to the counter. “You’re analyzing me, my movements, and probably how I breathe.” (y/n) said as he pulled himself up on the counter, not looking away from the man in front of him. “You haven’t contacted me or Sam in months. I was worried about you.” He said and sagged his shoulders.
“Yea well a phone works both ways. Sam has been busy and you had Ellie. I didn’t want to interrupt them. She didn’t like me very much when you introduced us so I backed up and stayed out of it.” (y/n) said and ran a hand through his hair then picked at the hem of his own shirt. (y/n) leaned back, resting his back against the cabinet behind him and looked over towards Bucky. “Why did you come here? Other than Ellie?” (y/n) whispered. “I missed you man. Isn’t that enough. Not everyone has ulterior motives. I just wanted to see my friends. Is that an issue?” Bucky said, his voice breaking and looking down.
“Of course not. I just had plans tonight.” (y/n) said and Bucky’s head snapped up in anger. “Yeah like what? Going out and fucking the closet person avalible? You know you aren’t as careful as you think you are. I have seen you leaving clubs and bars with people, I have seen the hickeys and the marks left by people who don’t even know your name.” Bucky snapped and Stood up suddenly.
“Oh, you’re my mother now? Look. James, not that it’s any of your fucking business but its how I cope. Don't like it? Leave.” (y/n) said, anger building in his chest. Bucky made his way around the counter and stood between (y/n)’s legs, caging him in his spot on the counter.
“What are you so scared of? What are you running from? Why didn’t you think to talk to me or Sam? We could help you, but you have to let us help you.” Bucky said and locked eyes with (y/n). “This issue isn’t yours to fix” (y/n) growled out. “Try me (y/n). I’ve been through more shit than you can imagine.” Bucky said as he grabbed (y/n)'s wrist. “Not this one. isn't your problem, Believe me.” “Then tell me. Please, I can’t lose you.” Bucky said, his blue eyes softened as he moved closer to (y/n), his face inches away from (y/n)’s.
‘Fuck, this is bad. If I don't say something Bucky won’t give up. Make something up for fucks sake.’ (y/n) thought as he reached out, gripping Bucky’s shirt. “I am in love with you.” (y/n) whispered, barely audible. ‘You fucking idiot. Out of all the things you could have said you chose that one?’ (y/n) thought bitterly as he looked away from Bucky, mentally preparing for rejection.
Bucky felt his face heat up and stumbled over his thoughts for a second, his head and tongue not agreeing on what to say. “I’m sorry? Repeat that?” Bucky stammered out and turned (y/n)'s face to look at him. “Fuck! What else is there to say James? I am in love with you. These past few months I have been trying to get over my feelings for you and got lost.” (y/n) repeated, on the verge of tears.
(y/n) went to push Bucky away from him until he felt Bucky’s lips touch his in a fury. Their teeth clashing, Bucky’s stubble digging into (y/n)’s face. (y/n) kissed him back, gripping Bucky’s shirt and wrapping his legs around his waist to root Bucky to his spot in front of him. After they break for air (y/n) looks at Bucky. “Bucky, stop. You are upset and going through a break up. You don’t understand what you’re doing” (y/n) says goes to move, Bucky grips (y/n)'s arm harder and prevents him from moving. “You will not be the person who tells me I don’t know what I am doing. I am not the one who is drowning in loveless hookups. You are. You can’t even come out of your haze long enough to see that people are worried and care. That I care.” Bucky said before he let go of (y/n) and stepped away. At that moment (y/n) started crying and looked away from Bucky in shame.
Just as he was able to maybe bury his feelings for Bucky, he had shattered that possibility. “Then prove it, Buck.” (y/n) said as he pushed himself off the counter and leaned onto Bucky’s chest. Bucky sighed and looked down at (y/n), wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. “I will. I promise” He said, pressing a kiss to (y/n)'s head.