Seriously Dont Tag Any Of My Posts As B*//ford - Tumblr Posts

dont tag as ship. Click image for higher quality cause tumblr compresses the heck out of these—

THE SHORTEST GAME OF INTERDIMENSIONAL CHESS EVER

Non-Canon compliant fanfic undercut, 364 words, just some silly stuff

The endless night of sky loomed everywhere;  twinkling stars and nebulas were a common occurrence and formed what felt like a painting from the masters.

    Ford floated around his dream, his hair answering to the zero-gravity environment as it floated alongside the ends of his jacket.

He walked, or atleast tried to walk (he mostly just did a swim-like motion) to what he found to be a wooden table with two chairs on opposite ends, somehow not tipping over and not answering to the enviorment’s physics.

   On the table was a checkered bluely-projected chessboard, with all the chess pieces still on the board despite the no-gravity environment.

“HEY, SIXER! UP FOR ANOTHER ROUND?”

Ford looked up and saw his good old muse:  Bill Cipher.

    He was a golden 2D triangle that had a brick like pattern, a black-top hat, and bow tie;  he also had noodle black arms and legs, His singular eye was near the point of his tip had overexaggerated eyelashs and his pupil was cat-like.

“Ofcourse!”

Ford floated over to the chess board, with him taking the white pieces and Cipher taking the black ones on the opposite end.

    Ford had a secret:  he has no idea how to play chess.   He knows how the pieces move but he could never be bothered to pick it up as a hobby and learn the tactics or opening principles (plus he knew colleges wouldn’t care since he had an SAT score so high it would break the machines)

“Okay, just…strategy, what about—“ he thought to himself

He ended up doing the worst possible move ever: pawn to F3

Bill just…stared at that move for a while, his eye agape with confusion before he shrugged and moved his king’s pawn to E5.

    The young man decided to push his pawn to g4 but bill ended up checkmating him on the next turn with queen to h4

“THAT IS STATISTICALLY THE WORST MOVE YOU CAN PLAY EVER IN THE MULTIVERSE OF CHESS.   SERIOUSLY WHAT-WHAT WAS THAT?” Asked Cipher as he looked up to Ford who seemed to grip the ledges of his seat in embarrassment.   “…DO YOU UH…DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW THIS WORKS?”

“…no.”

(welp! Here’s a fanfic for you chess nerds out there)