Shame Is Bad - Tumblr Posts
Hot take for pride month: Ripping into people who are exceptionally horny JUST for being exceptionally horny, comes from the same place of puritanical cishet normativity that "you'll want sex one day" at aspec people or "I dont care what people do in their bedroom" at most queer people comes from, because cishet normativity includes the societal beliefs that everyone should be cishet, should want vanilla straight sex, and should be quiet and ashamed of wanting sex at all despite the previous 'rule.'
Like it's one thing if someone is being kinky and horny at everyone without regard for consent or safe spaces for kink/sex, that's not chill and definitely needs to be called out, but I see a lot of you just. Plop yourself into someone's porn blog or into a group of friends minding their tags and staying in their own NSFW positive community with their NSFW, and ripping into them like they're criminals for being horny at all. So many of you will put yourself into an NSFW space and tell people in it that just by existing somewhere they can be discovered they're undermining consent when by invading an inherently sexual space uninvited and with malicious intent, it's YOU who is undermining consent! No one consented to having you interrupt their sexual enjoyment just to fucking kink and slut shame them! If you accidentally come across an NSFW space it's so fucking easy to remove yourself from it and not participate! Just like it's easy for cishet people to remove themself from queer spaces instead of telling everyone in them how gross they are!
Sexual attraction or enjoyment isn't something everyone experiences, but it IS often important to the identity and lives of the people who DO. Sex and kink have been tools for a lot of non-het, gnc, queer, and trans folk to explore their identity, gender, and attraction For Since The Beginning Of Civilization, and your willingness to hurt and shame others for even touching that tool is hypocritical and oppressive.
By garnering a general public feeling of shame and disgust toward sex and exploring it with other consenting adults, you're making trans people feel ashamed of trying to find comfort sexually in their gender now that they recognize it and even more so for enjoying that new found comfort and pride, you're making queer people as a whole feel ashamed of expressing a chunk of their sexuality and the sexual attraction that comes with it, you're making aspec people who want to explore and discuss with others what they do and don't enjoy sexually ashamed and scared to do so, and you're even making survivors of SA feel guilty and gross for trying to discover ways of feeling comfortable in their sexuality and attraction again. Not even going into hypersexuality, it's common existence among queer folk and SA survivors, and how a positive if vigorous relationship with sex tends to help this group of individuals cope and live healthy lives despite it.
I'm tired of seeing y'all rip on porn blogs just for being porn blogs, I'm tired of seeing some of y'all call groups of grown adults being horny at each other in safe and careful ways Groomers, (as if doing so doesn't also diminish the definition of actual grooming and darken the already murky waters for seeking help and helping others dealing with grooming.) you're using the same rhetoric made to make queer people ashamed of being queer to continue making other queer people experiencing queerness differently from you ashamed of being queer!
The queer community, and pride, are about celebrating the fact that as people we all have unique and individual ways of experiencing life and expressing ourselves, and have been othered because our experiences don't line up with what society has deemed 'normal' and I'm tired of watching y'all demonize others when that unique individual way is in any way horny, because you're othering groups of people from your community! For not fitting! Into your definition of normal!!