She Was In The Shitty Situation Too - Tumblr Posts

Inktober Day 11: Run

I have a memory of when I was about 15, hiding behind a tree in the shadow cast by a streetlight, while my mother was frantically looking for me for hours.

I plan to keep this blog light hearted and fun, but sometimes things come together a bit less happily and so we get a melancholy personal piece. From the age of about 9 my home life got a lot scarier and it culminated into a full breakdown when I was 15/16. Dropped out of school, family broke up, etc. At that time I was running away from home a lot (but returning before midnight) just to escape my fear and the stress. It’s hard being a kid, not feeling like you have many options.

I still have the lingering effects of PTSD but things do get better. Though I’m prone to the emotions in small bouts I no longer have clinical depression or an anxiety disorder and have no disassociative disorder at all anymore. I’m in a long term, healthy relationship with my favourite person in the world, who I live with in a pretty sweet little apartment. I’m doing a job I find fulfilling, I have friends and family I love, and most importantly I enjoy simply being alive. It’s a hard journey with lots of steps back and forward, but don’t ever think you can’t get there so long as you refuse to die. Overall I think I’m lucky, depression and suicide run in both sides of my family. But I’m one of the ones who survived.

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