Sobbing Openly Rn!! - Tumblr Posts

Do you think Tim ever felt completely terrible for punching Jay? (stay with me, let me explain.) Not only because of the fact that they grew closer as they were practically forced to work together, but also because Tim knows how he is when he’s Masky. He knows he hurts people. While he can’t remember anything, the blood on his skin, clothes and hair greets him when he finally comes to. Not to mention the amount of scars that he must get while like that. Those don’t just show up out of nowhere. I don’t doubt Tim regrets punching Jay, but probably for more reasons than just surface level stuff.

I can imagine he never even thought he’d be like his other state. It was simply out of the question. He’s not violent even towards people he dislikes with a passion. But hurting someone he thought he might grow to trust.. maybe it made Tim feel like him and that state he’s in sometimes are a lot closer than he thought before. They’re not, of course, but that sliver of a connection of violence between them might’ve caused Tim to breakdown after he got home from the parking lot. The guilt from punching Jay, the anger he still felt towards him, and the thought that it makes a connection between Tim and Masky was probably too much for him. Tim felt like it says something about him as a whole. Or at least who — or rather what — he was slowly turning into.

I can also imagine Tim never apologized for the whole ordeal too well. Maybe he said it kind of under his breath one night while they were staying in a hotel together or said it in few words with little noticeable vulnerability in his tone. But it felt incredibly vulnerable for Tim, even if it didn’t seem that way to Jay. It might be because Tim still held a bit of resentment towards Jay due to the amount of lies he spouted. He felt hesitant to be vulnerable around someone who lied to his face.

Though maybe Tim thought that after everything, after they get to safety and all this stuff with Alex, The Operator, that guy in the hoodie is said and done… After the dust has settled and everything’s calm again, Tim can finally open up to Jay and apologize properly. When the time is right, he’ll tell him.

But that time will never come. And I know the guilt eats at Tim each and every day.