Steve Harrington Angst Anyone? - Tumblr Posts

Okay here's another one! (Steddie Parallels to Lumax in season 2 after the party finally manage to convince Steve to join a Hellfire campaign. This parallel comes from the scenes where the party (Mike) continuously ostracize Max from joining their gang despite claiming they want her to join) TW: This ones kinda angsty....might do a part 2 ;)

Despite all of his complaints and utmost refusals to ever actually play Dustin's nerdy Dungeons and Dragons game, Steve was, much to his own disbelief, pleasantly surprised when the Dungeon Master/newly cleared Eddie Munson 'formally invited' him to tag along for their next session.

Steve liked to believe that he and Eddie had become good friends ever since the whole Vecna/End of the world thing. They hung out pretty often now that he and his uncle had been given a new place to live as a sorta 'Sorry your town tried to hunt you for sport after accusing you of mass murder/keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you', kind of deal. It had been a tad awkward to be around eachother with nobody else the first couple of times yet as the weeks went by, Steve was about as comfortable opening up to the guy as he was to Robin. Almost. Robin would always be his number one. But if Eddie had shown him anything over the last few months or so since the first time he came over to his place, it was that he would never look down on anybody for being different. Hence why Steve found it easy to be so vulnerable with him. Eddie was a damn good listener and while not exactly one for giving advice, he always seemed to know how to make him feel calmer. Steve would try to do the same, resulting in a pretty solid bond between the two polar opposites. That label reminding Steve of the phrase 'Opposites attract' which after many long insightful conversations with Robin led Steve to believing that it was true. It wasnt as though he wasnt aware that what he felt for Eddie was a little more than a normal friendship and he knew what being attracted to another person felt like. Hell, Eddie wasnt even the first guy he'd had a crush on. Yet there was never another guy in Steve's life that had ever made him feel so accepted that he allowed attraction to develop into a full blown crush. He liked Eddie. He really did.

So when Eddie invited him to tag along for his latest campaign, not the first since he was released from the hospital but the first since Will and El had officially moved back to Hawkins, Steve found himself actually wanting to go. It sounded like fun with everyone being there. Yet the meaning behind the word 'everyone' suddenly made him hesitate. Everyone would involve not only the kids, himself, Robin, Johnathan, Nancy and Argyle. It also meant that the rest of the Hellfire club, Eddie's friends would also be there too. And it didn't take a genius to work out that they wouldn't really be happy with former jock King Steve hanging out with the nerds, if Eddie had told them at all. Why else would he have refused back before Spring break when Dustin called him asking him to sub for Lucas? Well....aside from the fact that there was no way he was missing Lucas's championship game after all the practice they'd put in during the semester. He was damn proud of that kid. And he wanted to show him that he supported him. He'd been so invested that he'd hardly said two words to his date all night.

Eddie had told him that he didn't have to play, that he was fine to sit with Robin and the rest of the crew and watch. They'd been playing in the Wheeler's basement since the club had been banned from the school, hence why Nancy was there to greet him when he knocked on the door with Robin at his side. Her sunny smile at the sight of him did alot to warm the chill of his anxiety.

That was another thing that he couldn't regret about what happened over spring break. Following their first bout with Vecna, he and Nancy finally had the chance to properly talk about what happened between them and while he may have regretted coming on as strong as he did, nothing would make him regret the friendship he had with her now. If anything they were closer to eachother now than when they were dating. It felt good to be allowed to love her again, even if it was a different kind of love than before. She had also apologised for the way things ended between them and she had grown alot since then. Steve had tried to tell her she didn't need to apologise, which Nancy had fiercely disagreed with, telling him that no matter what she was going through he never deserved to be treated like that. At the time Steve hadn't felt like there was anything to forgive, but she had looked so relieved when he told her he did. It had made him think alot about who he used to be, how much he had suffered as a result, how much he felt like he deserved most of it. But as Nancy, Eddie and Robin, most of the group would vehemently remind him, they saw him as a good person deserving of good things. Steve was really trying to believe that himself.

Nancy led them down to the basement, laughing lightly at something he said on the way down before he was faced with the rest of the group. Everyone else was already there. Dustin, Lucas, Will and El all rushing to give him a hug while Mike as someone not overly keen on physical affection gave him a half smile and wave. Max greeted him from the corner where she was sitting in her wheelchair, gesturing for him and Robin to come and sit on the empty seats on either side of her. Steve smiled impossibly wide as he and Robin followed the redhead's orders, forgetting for all of a few seconds why he was so worried. Then that chill in his spine returned with a vengeance when his eyes landed on the no so concealed glares Eddie's friends were casting his way whilst the man himself seemed blissfully unaware, shooting Steve a soft smile that Robin had not so helpfully dubbed as his Steve smile. It put him a little more at ease in any case as he smiled back. Within the next few minutes the campaign began, prompting Eddie to slide right into his alter ego of Dungeon Master Extraordinaire.

It didn't escape his notice when he caught one of them, Gareth? He'd never really actually met any of them before tonight but he'd heard Eddie talk about them plenty. Anyhow, Steve watched as the younger teen's eyes remained fixed on him as he leaned over to his friend sitting next to him, Steve knew his name was Jeff, to whisper something in his ear. The other boy's eyes flickered back to him for a millisecond before looking away and releasing a snicker. Steve's anxiety came crashing down on him once more, worsening the longer the game continued as the rest of the group seemed fully invested in their game. Their other friend, Steve was sure his name was Grant, was sitting the second closest to Eddie with Will being the only one between the two. Steve wasnt sure how much time had passed since he realised that the three had been whispering to eachother and sniggering about him, but just before the club decided to stop for a break, Grant muttered something towards the other two boys. Steve obviously couldn't hear it being as far away as he was, but it seemed that whatever it was Will had caught the jist of it if the look of surprise followed by the guilty look he sent towards Steve was anything to go by. Ever the one to keep a close eye on his brother, Johnathan seemed to notice Will's sudden change in demeanor too, turning a suspicious glance to the Hellfire boys before looking back to Will, the two seeming to have a silent conversation with eachother from across the room. Steve tried to wave it off with a smile when Will looked back at him but the upset frown remained fixed on the boy's face. It looked as though El had also caught on that something was wrong, looking at her brother curiously as though she was trying to read his mind.

It set off a chain reaction with the rest of the kids as Max and Mike noticed something was wrong with El, causing Lucas to notice Max, and Erica and Dustin catching on to the tension that had made it's way into the room. The moment Eddie called for a break, it appeared as though he had also noticed their seven youngest members weren't really paying a great deal of attention. Will practically leapt to his feet claiming he was going to grab something to drink. El was quick to follow after him with Mike in tow. Johnathan paused for a moment before following them as well. Steve's stomach clenched with the realisation that Will was likely going to tell them both what he'd heard. Argyle seemed to take Jonathan's absence as a reason to come and take Robin's chair as she excused herself to go upstairs and get a drink with Nancy. Steve tried to listen to whatever it was the man was saying, he really did though he was clearly already high enough for him and Johnathan as he continued saying whatever was on his mind. Steve could still feel the three pairs of eyes still burning into his skull as he continued to ignore them. They didn't like him. Whatever. They didn't need to act like children about it. The better question on Steve's mind was how the hell Eddie hadn't noticed what they were doing. Should he say something? Maybe go over and break the ice. Let them know he wanted to make an effort to know Eddie's friends. That he wasn't the same person he used to be, if he was ever really that person.

"So, Stevie. How are you enjoying your first encounter into the satanic nightmare that is DnD?" Eddie piped up startling the man in question.

It was sat that moment that Steve realised he hadn't said a word since they had started. His mind drew a blank at the question, not anticipating for anyone here to actually talk to him until the had to drop them off at home. He knew first hand how seriously his children took this game.

Shit. Eddie was still waiting for an answer.

"Its good." He replied a little too quickly. "I-Its really cool."

Not his most eloquent response, he knew. But still, who could blame him for not paying attention when the force of the stares he was receiving was making him feel like his head was about to explode!

It seemed that whatever he said was the wrong thing to say from the way the smile slipped from Eddie's face.

"You know if it's really not your thing, you don't have to stay for the rest. We're probably gonna call it soon anyway, looks like your children aren't really invested either."

Shit he sounded upset. What did he say? What could he have done wrong? He was just sitting here.

"No-No! It's not that, its-" Steve started to say until the sound of one of the boys snorting at any attempt he made plucked on his nerves. Eddie glanced at Gareth confused as the rest of the party glared at him.

"Something funny?" Max bit at the boy causing him to promptly wipe the grin off his face.

The rest of the group started filing back in. Jonathan was the first back in the room, footsteps heavy against the wooden stairs, almost angry sounding. That was nothing compared to the cold expression on his face aimed solely at the three boys that had been making fun of Steve all night.

"Woah! Byers, man! Wheres the fire?" Argyle asked catching on to Jonathan's bad mood almost immediately. The man said nothing but gestured for Argyle to scooch back over to his seat as Robin and Nancy came back down the stairs with the same tension filled entrance. Robin took her seat back next to Max crossing her arms over her chest and shooting daggers at the three with the same intensity they'd been giving him since they arrived here causing them to wither under her gaze as any human would. Steve swallowed thickly suddenly feeling very put on the spot. It was pretty safe to say that Will had told them what he heard. Case in point, Mike and El came down th stairs hand in hand with Will behind them almost as though they were creating a barrier as he pointedly refused to look anywhere but his feet. Meanwhile Nancy grabbed hold of her chair that was previously placed beside Johnathan and dragged it over next to Steve, who looked over at Johnathan questionably. The younger man merely met his eye before nodding at him. Steve looked over at Eddie, who was following her every move as his frown drew deeper and deeper right until she sat down next to him.

"Are you okay?" Nancy asked him placing her hand delicately over his. It was a simple question. One that would've been much easier to answer if he wasn't painfully aware of the fact that Eddie was staring at him. No. He wasnt okay. He felt completely out of place. He was uncomfortable. The only reason hed agreed to come here was looking at him like he'd ran over his dog for some reason and he could feel people whispering about him all over the room. He just wanted to go home.

He watched as Eddie looked a little further to his right and followed his gaze to land on Robin, who's eyes quickly locked onto Eddie's. It looked as though they were trying to communicate something to eachother with Eddie's pointed look of hurt before Robin shook her head. Steve was just about reaching the end of his patience. Why wouldn't someone please tell him what he had done wrong?

But then one of the boys mumbled something else under his breath which then prompted the other two to snicker loudly. He could tell from how quickly he turned his head that Eddie had heard whatever they said. By this point El, Max and Erica looked as though they wanted to blow their heads up with how hard they were glaring at them. But then Steve looked at the four boys sitting around the table with the other members of Hellfire and, Oh God, every single one of them looked betrayed, pissed off and hurt.

But then he looked back at Eddie. There was no way he hadn't heard what they just said. He needed to see what he would do about it. His already plummeting hope was rapidly sinking lower and lower the longer it took the man to react. He watched as Eddie's eyes wandered back over to him and Nancy, right to the point where her hand was resting on top of his and then...

He smirked.

Hell he looked like he was trying not to laugh right along with them.

And fuck if that didn't sting.

But with how shitty this night had made him feel, Steve didn't even have it in him to process how hurt he was.

He was pissed.

Scoffing loudly Steve launched himself out of his chair almost toppling it over in the process.

"Seriously?!" He yelled, voice cracking at the last syllable.

And just like that, any trace of contempt was erased from Eddie's face, turning swiftly into shock.

"Steve-" Robin reached out to him but he quickly brushed her off.

"Screw this. I'll be in the car." And with that he stormed out of the basement.

It was only then that the three who started all this became all too aware of the death glares being shot at them from all directions.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?!" Dustin exclaimed, sending a particularly wounded look at Eddie, whom had gone from smug in the sense of hiding his jealousy to remorseful in a matter of seconds as he quickly realised his mistake.

He barely paid any mind to the question however as he quickly shot up from his seat and ran after Steve. The man was already halfway up the street heading towards his car when Eddie spotted him.

"Steve!" Eddie called out to him.

The younger man didn't stop walking to his call as he spoke without looking back.

"Leave me alone, Munson. I've had my fair share of playground insults for one day."

Munson. Not Eds or Eddie. Back to Munson because of one stupid mistake.

"Steve, please just hear me out, man. I'm so-"

"Why the hell should I? Are you gonna pull my pigtails now too?" Steve cut him off, finally stopping to look at him.

"Steve-" Eddie tried again.

"I thought you wanted me to play your game! I thought you wanted me in your group! God I can't believe I fell for that." Steve cackled. "Did you even tell your band I was coming tonight?"

"Of course I did. But...Gareth, Jeff, Grant, they're weird about this kinda thing. It's just their way of being protective."

Steve barked an incredulous laugh, "Yeah, that's one word for it."

Eddie sighed, "Steve, you don't understand-"

"No, you're right, Eddie! I don't! I've been sitting there all night while this has been going on. It's been miserable. You invite me to watch you play your game the you all start whispering and giggling and talking shit like we're in the seventh grade or some shit! I don't need that kind of bullshit, Eddie!"

Eddie fumbled for words for a moment before replying, "They're just not used to it, you know. I've never had a friend like you before. They just want to make sure that..." Eddie quickly cut himself off before he said the wrong thing.

"That what?" Steve asked brokenly. And, oh...there it was. The look of complete hopelessness. The glassy tint to his eyes was a kick straight to Eddie's ribcage.

"That what, Eddie? That I'm not gonna hurt you? Lure you into a false sense of security and then jump you? After all we went through back there, all we're still going through, you can't even bring yourself to tell them that won't happen? Why? Because I played sports in high school suddenly that means I'm as bad as Jason Carver and all those other assholes? Is it because of who I used to be? Or is it because you all still think I am that person?"

Eddie winced as he was reminded of the gruesome fate he'd been told Jason received for all the shit he caused all those months ago.

"Steve.....Steve, no that's not true! I...." Why the hell was it so hard to get his words out? Why couldn't he say exactly what he wanted to say? Why was it so hard for him to tell Steve the very thing he'd wanted to tell him for months? He knew exactly what he wanted to say to Steve, what he wanted to do and be with him. But everytime it looked as though they were getting somewhere, something had to go and crash right through it. Tonight along with his friends, the fault lied with his own jealousy.

Steve laughed wetly under his breath.

"See? You can't even say it. I know that for some people my past will never die. Somehow the asshole I was will always find his way back to the surface for the people I've hurt no matter how deep I bury him. King Steve, mister funny, mister cool, grade A douchebag who peaked in high school, doomed to spend the rest of his life working dead end jobs and forcing himself through loveless relationships pointless in the inevitable truth he's destined to be alone. Because God forbid he ever tries and change so that he feels a little more like a human and less like a dead shell of a man so that he doesn't end up back in that box his parents tried so damn hard to place him in before they just gave up and left without a word mere months before the literal earth started collapsing beneath his feet!"

Throughout his outburst, Steve let the unshed tears fall, unless he merely hadn't bothered to notice them. He couldn't look at Eddie anymore. He didn't want to see the look of pity he was almost certainly giving him right now. If hed only looked back, he would've seen how wrong he was.

"Stevie...." Eddie whispered brokenly, making one final attempt to reach for him.

"Just! Just forget it. Okay? It was stupid of me to think that I could be something I'm not. Why did I even bother?" Steve turned away, getting into his car and closing the door. In a split second, Eddie was bypassed by Robin and not really to his surprise, Lucas and Erica. The two siblings didn't say a word to him as they climbed into the back seats of Steve's car. Steve waited for another moment, probably waiting to see if anyone else needed a lift before starting the car and driving away.

Eddie wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there but by the time he turned to go back into the Wheeler house, Steve's car was long out of sight. He just wanted to grab his shit and leave. He didn't care if he left something behind. He just wanted to leave.

Yet by the time he got back to the basement, it didn't look as though he would be getting his way anytime soon. Dustin was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, eyes hard and arms crossed over his chest. The only others remaining besides the two who actually lived there were the ones he was supposed to be driving home, Gareth, Jeff, Grant, and Max. Nancy was sitting beside the redhead now. It was only then that he noticed said three boys sitting at the table looking thoroughly chastised and honestly a little scared.

"Eddie," Dustin began, his pained expression from earlier gone, now something much more serious.

"I think we need to talk about Steve."