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thank you, love, for taking the time to read this piece and thank you for you feedback!! 💜💜💜💜 it warms my heart to know you appreciated it

ozone | pjm

pairing ↠ ex!jimin x reader

genre ↠ angst

beta-read by ↠ @hoebii

word count ↠ 1.3k

warnings ↠ mentions of cheating, driking.

summary ↠ when you find out your ex Park Jimin, whom you had cheated on in the past, is getting married, all you can think about is alcohol. at some point, you end up calling him, as you often do whenever you remember you've lost the love of your life.

A/N  ↠ hi, yall! recently I've spent a huge amount of hours listening to Chase Atlantic and I got uber inspired with this scenario hahaha as you can see, I'm a drama queen and I'm a huge fan of angst.

I just wanted to try some new stuff and this it it, writing has been my therapy and I decided I wouldn't be embarrassed about it anymore. so here it is, I hope if this reaches anyone, it can be an enjoyable read. I also want to thank @hoebii for taking the time to read this and help me make it better.

as always, here's a humble playlist with the songs that inspired me.

feedback is always appreciated ♡

“Y/n?” You hear his hoarse voice through the phone.

Naturally, he was already asleep. It’s 3:23 am of a fucking weekday, of course he was already asleep. He probably fell asleep with her nestled comfortably against his chest. You could feel the sourness of the whisky coming back to your mouth, as the images of this particular scene fill your mind.

It should be you in there, not her.

It should be you, but it wasn’t because you fucked it up. You fucked everything up, because you got carried away. You fucked up, because, as always, you didn’t value what you had and took things for granted. You took Park Jimin for granted. Nothing was ever enough. You have a nice job, a nice car, a nice flat, nice friends, a nice family and a cute little puppy waiting for you when you get home.

And you had him, until you fucked it up. You got bored, for, again, nothing ever seemed to be good enough for you. You thought so about him until you lost him.

How silly.

“Hi, Jimin”, you smiled to yourself.

“Is everything ok? It’s-”

“Yeah, it’s three in the morning, I know”.

It was a mistake, of course, calling your ex in the middle of the night. But then again, he was the one who told you could call him if you ever felt sad.

He promised, actually. He promised he would always be there for you whenever you felt sad, even if you broke up. And, well, it happened. You broke up and you tried not to think about him, but apparently someone should remind you that when you got drunk. You made it almost a habit. Whenever you get drunk, you don't seem to remember that you have been trying to forget Jimin in these past couple of years.

“Where are you? Have you been drinking?” He asks you, his voice still hoarse. It sends chills down your spine.

“I’ve had a few shots, yeah”.

He sighs. You listen to a muffled voice on the other end. Her voice, probably, since you are calling someone else’s fiance in the middle of the night. It’s a fucking Wednesday night, for fuck’s sake, you’re so pathetic.

“It’s nothing, love, go back to sleep”, he whispers.

After listening to him calling her love, you feel even more pathetic. What are you doing? Calling your ex in the middle of the night to fucking whine at his upcoming wedding? Is this what you became? Fucking pathetic.

Silence.

Maybe he’s hung up.

“I’m sorry, Y/n…”, he says in a normal voice tone. “You never answered my question… Where are you? Do you want me to send a car to pick you up? It’s pretty late”.

“No, thanks. I-”

“Are you alone?”

You swallow. Who would bear to be in your company tonight? Tonight you are just a bitter old memory of yourself, after drinking your dignity away. You wouldn't put your friends through that, you can take care of yourself. This isn’t the first and, certainly, wouldn't be the last time this scenario happens.

“Yeah”.

“I’ll send you a car, it’s too late for y-”

“Congrats on your engagement, honey”, you interrupt him. “Seokjin told me…”

More silence on his end.

“Oh… Yeah…”, he was silent for a moment, again, but then he continued. “Thanks”.

“You two must be over the moon”, you suggest, contorting your face involuntarily.

“I mean… Yes, I’m happy, thank you for your consideration”.

“I miss you, Chim”, you say before you can stop yourself. “And somewhere deep down you must miss me too… Answering a phone call from your crazy ex in the middle of the night”.

“Y/n, why are you calling? What do you want?” He sighs. “If you need some company, call your friends. Do you want me to try to get in touch with Seokjin?”

As much as he tried, he could not be rude or impolite. He is the most considerate person you've ever had the pleasure to meet. He wasn’t rude to you then, when you cheated on him after four years of a steady and serious relationship, and he isn’t being rude to you now. You honestly don’t know if you’d rather if he had just made a scene. If he had picked up the phone and told you to go fuck yourself, he’d make it easier for you to hate him.

Maybe that’s what you’re after, maybe you need him to be rude, to yell at you, to call you names, to unleash his resentment. But he never did so, he just withdrew from your life.

You shared the same friend group, so he stopped showing up when he knew you’d be around. He started doing groceries at some other place. He looked for a new movie theater to attend. Slowly, Jimin disappeared from your life, taking every trace of you with him.

“I’m a big girl, honey, I can take care of myself”, you snort. “I just want to apologize… Chim, I’m so, so sorry”.

“Don't… Don't do that, Y/n. Don't apologize, it’s ancient history. Really. I’ve already told you I forgive you, I don’t hold any grudges, you can move on with your life, for real!”

“That’s the thing, Chim, I don’t think I’ll ever get over you”, you confess.

One more time, there’s nothing but silence.

You continue. “But, babe, if you give me just one chance, just one more try, I’ll prove you that I’m changed…”

Dignity, what's that? Right now, you had no idea. You feel your eyes welling up with tears, making the lights behind the bar’s counter become fuzzy. Shades of blue, red and purple mixed up in front of your watery eyes, as you wait for Jimin to say something.

“I need to go, Y/n… It’s late”.

“Babe, this is probably my last chance to say this-”

“Please, Y/n, don’t call me that”.

He never answers your propositions directly. Of course he doesn’t, he’s to good to tell you to fuck yourself or something similar. Deep down, you now these phone calls only make you seem stupid and desperate and you’d regret calling him as soon as you hung up. But, well, you were kind of stupid and desperate. You know the only thing you could do right now is to watch him go, but it hurts. You’re gonna lose him for good now. It was all your fault.

He’s getting married. It’s over.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m sorry I called you, I don’t know what I was thinking”, you let out a humourless laugh, wiping the tears that rolled down your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“As I’ve said before, there's no need to apologize. You were never one who apologizes, it just feels like it doesn't suit you”, he continued. “Take care of yourself, ok?”

“You too”.

He laughs softly, just to show you he heard what you’ve said. “Good night, Y/n”.

“Good night, Jimin… I love you”.

“I loved you too… Very much so”.

You hear the click as he hangs up. More silence. You sit on the bar stool, mulling over your past mistakes, blaming yourself. You are to blame and the worst part of it is that you know it is your fault. No one else’s. You would be the one on his bed tonight, if you hadn’t been so selfish.

If only you hadn’t been so selfish. If only you hadn’t been so self centered. If only you hadn’t been so… You.

Now his I love yous belong to someone else’s ear. His hugs belong to someone else’s body. His kisses to someone else’s lips. You have really lost him for good. He’s getting married.

You snort at yourself.

You tuck your phone back into the front pocket of your jeans. You look at the bartender, he looks back at you with tired eyes. He stood leaning against the black wall behind him, with his arms folded as he looked at you. You mouth him “another one, please”. And that’s where you spend the night until the sun rises, not taking any ounce of your guilt and pain away.

did you just call me your favorite writer????? 🥺 I'M SO SOFT RIGHT NOWWWW 💜💜 can't even thank you enough for this 💜💜💜 you're the best seriously

♡ Welcome to my m.list! Hope you enjoy my stories. Feedback is always appreciated ♡

Please, do not reproduce my works onto any other platforms without my permission.

♡ Please, do not read fics that are not appropriate for your age ♡

♡ coming soon

— series

ᛜ goodnight n go (+18)

mini masterlist | on going | college au | angst, fluff and smut

why'd have to be so cute?

it's impossible to ignore you

why must you make me laugh so much?

it's bad enough we get along so well

♡ coming soon

♡ coming soon

— drabbles

ᛜ ozone

ex! jimin x reader | angst

goodbyes are, for me, a tear without even knowing, it blooms around my eyes the words that I could not bring myself to say flow down and lingering regret crawls over my face

♡ coming soon

— series

ᛜ goodnight n go (+18)

mini masterlist | on going | college au | angst, fluff and smut

i'm so different when you're not there

it's like something out of shakespeare

because i'm really not here when you're not there

i've tried to fight our energy

but everytime i think i'm free you get high and call on the regular

i get weak and fall like a teenager

why does god keep bringing me back to you?

—

Copyright © 2021, seokjins-luigi on tumblr.

ohhh, Gab, thank you so much for taking the time to read this piece and to leave a comment !! 🥰🥰

just say goodnight n go | chapter 03.

pairing ↠ jin x reader, fuckboy!jungkook x reader

genre ↠ college au | love triangle | strangers to lovers | slow burn | fluff, angst, smut | multi-chapter

word count ↠ 8.9k

18+ | warnings ↠ grivieng character, a little bit of jealousy, swearing.

summary ↠ when your mother passes away, you go back to your college student life, only to find out the guy you liked (and were friends with benefits with) had a girlfriend now. trying to get over him and your mother’s passing, seokjin, the friend of a friend wants you to give him a chance. will you find your way back to yourself?

A/N  ↠ so I’m back with another one andtoday I offer a lil bit of fluff with kim seokjin! YES!! on this one I decided to insert some poorly edited social media au (?). is it cringy? also this one is longer than the previous chaps, is it too long? please lemme know. anyway, I hope you enjoy this story and feel free to give me your honest feedback.

and also here’s a playlist for you to listen while you read :)

INDEX ↠ prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

“Of course you can say whatever you want, if you find the elements to support your arguments, but I can always disagree if I find elements to support my own counterarguments’’, Han gyosunim states running her eyes through the classroom, so she could make brief eye contact with all of your classmates. “So, yes, Cha Songwook-ssi, you can write in your paper that you believe the gothic movement bases its aesthetics on German Expressionism, you only need to convince me”.

It was always him. Always Cha Songwook with his never ending questions (most of them stupid) hampering the professors from dismissing their classes. Seriously, this guy… Can’t he just write whatever the fuck he wants and wait for the goddamn evaluation?

Han gyosunim looks at her watch and, then, starts again.

“Well, our time today is up… If you have any more questions you can email me anytime, ok? Wish you all a pleasant day!”

You gather your stuff calmly, stuffing them into your backpack. You greet your professor on your way out as you head towards the door.

In the corridor, you run into two girls who are attending the same classes as you this term. As you took a leave of absence, your actual classmates were one semester ahead of you, Jungkook for example, was one of them. So you had to mingle again, in case you skipped any classes, you’d have someone to lend you their notes. They recognize you and flash you warm smiles.

“Y/n! We didn’t have any chance to catch up… I’m happy to see you’re back”, Hyori, the redheaded one, says, looking at you with kind eyes. “How are you? We are very sorry for your loss”.

The dreaded question pops up again. Poor thing, she’s just trying to be nice, but you really did not feel like explaining anything, especially to someone who wasn’t exactly close to you. Of course you weren’t fine… Why do people insist on asking?

“Thank you, Hyori. I think I can say I’m getting by”, you laugh awkwardly. “What about you, girls? How are things?”

“We’re ok”, the other one, Jinshil, replies. “Definitely did not miss college, but ok”.

You join her and laugh a very plastic laugh, trying to be as nice as you can. You hate small talk with every fiber of your being.

“I kind of did, surprisingly. I’ve postponed taking Photography as much as I could, though, but here I am now. Not as bad as I thought, but it’s still bad”.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you hadn’t taken Photography yet, so I was surprised to see you there”, Hyori points out. “I also thought I’d hate it, but it turns out I love Han gyosunim’s classes”.

“Yeah, she’s… great. An inspiring woman, right?”, you try.

You see the girls eyes fixating on something behind you, appalled. Jinshil’s jaw drops and you can’t help but to follow their gaze, only to find Jungkook walking towards you. A warm smile hangs on his lips when you turn to look at him. He is dressed in a light blue sweatshirt that made him look amazing, as always.

“Hello, ladies”, he smiles at the girls and turns to you, bumping his shoulder playfully into yours. “Hey, what are you up to?”

“This was my last class today”, you state pointing to Han gyosunim’s classroom with your thumb. “So, I’ll be heading home to take a well deserved nap”.

He laughs and it feels like music to your ears.

“Why did I even ask?”, he shakes his head at you. “Anyway… If you girls need any help with this class, don’t hesitate to ask, ok? Photography isn’t exactly an easy one”.

“Aww, thanks, oppa!” Jinshil says a little too excited for your taste.

But then again, you had no right to feel any type of way.

“No need to call me oppa, Jinshil, I’ve already told you that”, he states it with a grin, his eyes looking like small crescent moons. He was passive aggressively trying to be nice. “Anyway, I’ll get going, just wanted to say hi”.

Both Jinshil and Hyori say their faintly sly “goodbyes” to Jungkook at the same time, which makes him laugh a bit.

“Bye, Kook”, you wave your hand at him.

“I’ll see you later today, right? At the house? Namjoon hyung will be there too”, he says, already walking away backwards, so he could still look at you as he spoke.

“Hmm, no promises, I need to start studying for Photography, but maybe I’ll swing by”.

“Oh, come on, Y/n!” He furrows his brows. “You know what? I’ll ask Jimin to convince you”.

“I do need to study, Kook”, you dismiss him with your hands.

“We’ll see”.

Scrunching his little nose as he smiled at you, looking like a cute little bunny, he waves goodbye and turns around, walking away. You can’t take your eyes off him until he’s disappeared from your sight. Well, that’s your cue, enough small talk for today. As you turn to face the girls again, you notice they are looking at you with curious expressions. Weird.

“Y/n… Can I ask you something?” Jinshil starts.

“Yeah, sure”, you reply curiously.

“Was the break-up peaceful?”

“Whose break-up?!” you ask, cocking one of your eyebrows, with a dumbfounded expression.

What the fuck?

“Well, you and Jungkook… you broke up, right? He’s dating someone else now, isn’t he?” She asks again, speaking in a lower tone. “I thought you wouldn’t be speaking to each other after… You know?”

Again: what the fuck? What was she talking about? Did people know anything about you? And if they did, what the fuck does she have to do with it? “I’ll ask again, Jinshil, what break-up? Jungkook and I are friends! Where did that come from?” you try to soften your tone as much as possible, in an attempt to sound baffled by her assumptions.

Truthfully, you just wanted to say “mind your own fucking business”, but then again, you couldn’t even be rude, they were nerds, you’d need their help at some point, you knew it!

“Well… We all thought-”

“Sorry, you’re mistaken, sweetie. We are just friends”.

“Oh… ok”.

Hyori, who was, until this point, a silent listener decides to participate too.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, . Not sound like a gossip, but… Er… But, last year Park Woosung kinda saw you two, like, making out at one of his frat parties and… He kinda told some people, like, from our department. We all kinda knew you two dated since then. You two are always together, you treat each other like boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean, it was none of anyone’s business, but…”

Your own jaw drops by now.

“That’s why I asked… You two were pretty much a couple in everyone’s eyes”, Jinshil stated with an apologetic tone, looking you in the eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything”.

You were still processing the new piece of information you have just received. Ok, so, pretty much all of your classmates and some other students from your department knew about you and Jungkook. Who else knows? That’s the question. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. If Namjoon ever finds out about it he’d be fucking pissed.

And now everyone probably pities you, since they all know you two were a thing. You still kinda are. You didn’t even know for, it was too fucking complicated already and people sticking their noses into it made it all worse. Fuck.

You laugh, that’s what you do. You try to sound convincing, you can say that. They look at you curiously, knowing you were about to spill some more gossip.

“Nah, it’s ok, sweetie”, you declare nonchalantly. You try, at least. “We are really just friends…It was a one time thing- The… What Park Woosung saw. We were drunk and you know? It happens, am I right? Anyway, I can hear my bed calling for me. Gotta go. See you later, ok?”

“Oh, ok. Sure. See you later”, Hyori waves her hand at you, looking a little awkward now.

“Bye, Y/n”, Jinshil follows, looking as awkward as her friend.

You turn around feeling disoriented, you just need to get as distant as you can from these girls. You definitely did not see it coming.

Fuuuuuuck.

To make matters worse, your situation with Jungkook was exactly the same, you two were still seeing each other in secret, only this time, it was behind his girlfriend’s back. And well, it’s not so much of a secret anymore, people were starting to notice there was something going on between you two, it was only a matter of time until someone else found out you were back “together”. You can already predict everything Eunjoo is going to say about this, if you decide to tell her.

You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and you see a text from Seokjin.

jin [3:37 pm]: coffee? 🧐

You [3:37 pm]: yea, meet u there :)

“How can someone who studies filmmaking hate photography? That’s absurd”, Jin asks you dumbfounded.

You’re sitting next to him on a bench near his favorite coffee shop. You two were making a habit out of coming here for some much needed dose of coffee in the afternoon.

“Well, there are three hundred other things I can do in a movie set, you know?”, you ask, sitting beside him on the bench. “And I’m only complaining about the goddamn assignment, it’s only week 3! And also, don’t argue with the expert, ok?”

“You’re the one who started complaining about your gyosunim, you know? I just invited you for a coffee, you could’ve talked about the weather or I don’t know…” he takes a sip of his iced latte. “Now you’re gonna have to listen to my remarks”.

You roll your eyes at him and he laughs. Honestly, the thing Jin does the most in his existence is laughing. And he laughs like means it, like he’s actually enjoying the little things that happen every day. And, well, now you know him enough to know that he really is.

Your favorite thing about him is he’s not embarrassed of it. He feels genuinely comfortable in his own skin and that’s something you actually admire. Most of the time you spend together, you laugh at his gaudy laugh.

Being around him was, actually, a breath of fresh air. And you needed it desperately. You needed to feel like you were able to breathe again, without feeling the lingering sense of heaviness in your chest. And you are able to do that when he’s around. Your friendship is, in one word, refreshing.

“Do you mind?” You ask him, showing your pack of cigarettes.

“You know I don’t”, he answers with a soft tone, with the corner of his lips turned upwards.

You light up your cigarette, taking a long pull on it. You close your eyes for a second, feeling the instant relaxation the nicotine provides.

“As you told me to talk about the weather, here I go. It’s kinda hot today, isn’t it? Hate it”, you state it as you squint your eyes, looking at the clear blue skies. Today reminds you of a song Namjoon likes I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the Sun, I’m sick of songs about the summer and I hate everyone. Yeah, it was a good song. Also, your current mood.

“I mean, I hate it when I’m trapped between college and that stupid law firm”, he runs his hands through his hair, taking his fringe away from his eyes. He looks divine with his forehead exposed, his bleached locks messily parted to the sides highlighting how gorgeous his face looks.

Actually, Seokjin is bewitching. He didn’t only have a pretty face, he also had a very nice body combined with an amazing personality. He is a real knockout and especially right now, inside of a fucking tuxedo, it was unfair.

“But if the sun is still out on the weekend, we could go to the beach or something, what do you think? My family owns a house in Jeju, we could drive there on Friday night and come back on Sunday”, he continues.

“Yeah, I’d love to! Namjoon will be a hundred percent down too, he’s been talking about going to the beach nonstop”.

He bites his plump pink lips.

”Yeah… I was thinking more like, only the two of us… If you want to, of course”, he says it in a faint tone.

The invitation catches you off guard… Was he asking you on a date or something? A weekend in his family house? When did you two get to this level? Your brain was in full code red mode! You don’t want to say “no”, though.

But that’s the worst part, you didn’t feel like declining this invitation. Things between you and Jungkook were fine, weren’t they? Why did you feel like accepting an invitation to spend the weekend in Jeju island with another guy?

And why the fuck did Seokjin have to do that in person??? Doesn’t he know this kind of thing needs to be discussed with your friends first? The right thing to do was ask you via text message, so you could talk to Eunjoo before giving your final answer!! It’s the 21st century, doesn’t he know the rules? My God!

He cocks his head, never breaking eye contact. As much as his face remained stoic, you could see the anticipation in his eyes, they had a different blaze in them.

“It doesn’t have to be a date”, he tries again.

“Ok”, you just say it, flashing him a nice smile. “It’s nice of you, Jin”.

Well, fuck it. How could you say “no”? You definitely couldn’t. Not when he looked at you like that. So far, the only thing he wanted was to spend time with you, he never asked for anything in return. What’s the problem of spending a weekend with your friend? It’s a normal thing to do. It makes you soft… He makes you soft.

Fuck, why are you thinking those things about him? He’s just a friend.

“‘Ok’? Really? I thought you were about to say no”, he says, placing one of his hands on his chest dramatically. “It would be awful, I’d have to ignore you for the rest of my life”.

You laugh.

“Why?”

“Well, you’d hurt my ego, y’know? I’m not used to hearing ‘no’ when I ask someone out”, he replies with a smirk.

“You’ve just told me it doesn’t have to be a date, Kim Seokjin-ssi”, you squint, poking him on the chest with your free hand.

You take another pull at your cigarette, already feeling your head a little less heavy on your shoulders. Jin’s smirk still lingering on his lips. You could feel your cheeks burn as you blushed.

“Why are you smiling?”, you ask him, also smirking.

He doesn’t say anything and his eyes never leave you. Smirk untouched on his plump lips.

“Answer me!” You whine.

He parts his lips, but before any sound could leave his mouth, out the fucking blue, something hits your hand and your cigarette falls instantly to the floor. Dumbfounded, you look in the direction this sudden stroke came and you find a grumpy Namjoon, with his arms crossed, alongside a smiling Hobi.

The contrast, my friends…

“Really, Kim Namjoon-ssi?”

“You promised me you’d quit smoking, Y/n”, your brother states with an accusing tone.

“I will, but it’s a fucking process, you understand how the human brain works, don’t you, mister biologist? Give me time!” You point to the cigarette on the floor. “Also, this is pollution, you should know better”.

He huffs, but picks it up, putting it out on the metallic surface of the trash can and throws it away properly. Hobi and Jin just patiently watch the interaction between you and your brother, probably none of them feel like getting between family.

He, then, acts like nothing had happened, flashing a friendly smile in your direction, proudly showing his dimple to you.

“Hey, Jin, did Y/n invite you to come to the frat house tonight? There’ll be lots of tequila”, your brother asks, trying to sound as inviting as he could.

In the past few weeks, Eunjoo managed to persuade Namjoon into thinking it was a good idea to play matchmaking with you and Seokjin. So now he has joined her in the never ending quest to make the two of you fall in love. This was probably something he’d tell her later on today, how he “invited Seokjin over to the frat house so you two could spend more time together”. Both of them were positive you wouldn’t be able to resist much longer.

We’ll see. Only one of them knows about you and Jungkook and Eunjoo had a personal agenda against your relationship, so her opinion doesn’t count.

Jin cocks his brows and looks at you. You shake your head to him, furrowing your own brows.

“No, because my plans today involve studying fucking photography. I don’t know about you guys’ majors, but mine involves a hell lot of studying”, you turn to your brother as you answer him.

“Come on, Y/n! It’s gonna be just us”, Hobi gets closer to you, all excited. You notice he smells extra nice today.

“Is this a new perfume, Hobi?”, you sniff the air close to him.

“Yes! Why? Don’t you like it?” he asks hesitantly.

Weird, he’s always so confident. Luckily, Hobi’s mind works similarly to the mind of a toddler, you just need to keep on talking about his perfume and everyone else would have to stop talking about tonight’s gathering.

“I hope you do, cause it was fucking expensive!” He continues.

“He’s trying to smell nice for someone, don’t bother asking me who, because he refuses to tell us who it is. And since we’re here, Y/n, give him your female input, please”, Namjoon points to Hobi’s neck. “I can’t stand it anymore, he doesn’t stop talking about fucking perfumes… Maybe your opinion will make him drop the subject”.

“Woah, man, I have feelings, you know? Am I annoying you that much?”, he pouts.

“Nevermind my grumpy brother… Come here, Hobi”, you say, placing your hand on the side of his neck.

Hobi gets closer to you, tilting his head to the side so you could get as close as possible to his neck. You lean over to him, placing your nose on his warm skin, sniffing faintly and feeling the soft citrus scent emanating from him. It was really pleasant and if it was someone else’s neck, you’d be super turned one right now. Ok, maybe not in front of your brother, but you’d be dreaming about this neck for weeks.

Not that he was unattractive or anything, it’s just that Hobi wasn’t really your type, but you understand the appeal he had to the girls on campus. He is super cute, he has a heart of gold, a great sense of humour and he dances like a pro, his hips have a life of their own.

“So, what do you think?” he asks with doe-eyes, when he turns to face you again.

You hear Jin clearing his throat at your side.

“This might be the best scent I’ve smelled in my life, it’s amazing, Hobi, she’ll love it! Come back here…” you say as you place your hand back on Hobi’s neck, leaning over in his direction again.

“YAAA, Y/N! That’s enought” you feel Jin’s hands pulling you back by the hips, his big warm hands on your slim figure, as you let go of Hobi’s neck falling on your butt back on the bench you were sitting minutes ago. “Your coffee is getting cold, here”.

He states it, placing the plastic cup in your hands. You look at him dumbfounded. What is men’s problem? First of all, Hobi is your friend. Second of all, Jin is also just your friend.

Namjoon flashes you a grin, like he’s saying “see? Eunjoo and I are right about you two” with his fucking dragon eyes and throws an arm around Hobi’s shoulders.

“See? She will love it, now let’s get going…”, he kisses your forehead and waves Seokjin goodbye. “Text me when you get home, ok? Maybe I’ll spend the night at the frat house, not sure”.

“Ok, Joonie. Have fun”, you flash both of them a faint smile. “Bye, Hobi, good luck with your new girl”.

He mouths you a “thank you” and turns around, sprinting to join Namjoon, who was way ahead already, since he’s a fast walker due to his long legs. When you can no longer see Hobi and Joon, you look at Jin, who seemed to be way too busy with the lid of his cup to give you his attention right now.

“What was that about?”, the sound of your voice makes him look at you and you cock one of your eyebrows.

“What was what?”

“With Hobi… He’s my friend, you know?”

He smirks. He fucking decides to smirk right now. His fucking perfect smirk. Those white aligned teeth contrasting against his plump pinkish lips of his. He’s so goddamn handsome…

“Well, your coffee was getting cold… And I paid for it, you know? Didn’t want to hear you complaining it was spoiled and then throwing it away”, he states nonchalantly.

Of course, he always has a comeback.

“I see… Do you want your money back, then?”

“Of course not, in the future, I don’t want to hear you telling people that I made you pay for things on our dates”.

“Is this a date? I wasn’t aware”, you challenge.

“I didn’t tell you, because I was afraid you’d say no, but all of our coffees dates are actual dates in my mind”, he declares playfully as he checks his watch. “Hey, babygirl, I gotta get going, ok? Have to be in the office in 20”.

And yes, he had started calling you his babygirl.

Like, it wasn’t only that one time at the boys’ house, the pet name occasionally rolled off his tongue, like it was nothing and it always caught you off guard. You were fucking weak, you knew. You should definitely warn him you were already in a very complicated situation with Jungkook, you did not need to complicate things even further by stalling the guy.

But it was hard, ok? You are a human being, therefore, flawed. As you stated before, you are weak and your main weakness is: good-looking men. This is probably what got you into your “Jungkook situation” and that’s probably gonna lead you into a “Jin situation” in the near future. If only he was a little less… Well, a little less attentive, caring and a lot less handsome, you’d easily push him away. But yeah, you’re fucking weak.

And he’s a big boy, he should know better. He knows about you and Jungkook.

“Sure, Jinie”, you flash him a faint smile, as you get to your feet. “I’m trying to decide wether I should go home for a nap or be responsible and stay on campus so I can start working on that stupid fucking paper”.

“You know I’m older than you, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You should be calling me oppa instead of ‘Jinie’”.

“Oh, fuck you!” Despite your harsh words, your tone was light and playful.

“I mean it!” he gestures dramatically, again.

“No! I’m not calling you oppa, Seokjin!” You cut him off, while you suppress a laugh.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that… Anyway, you just told them how bad you need to study… I think you already have your answer”, he pats your head.

“Ugh! I know”, you confess as you roll your eyes.

“Then, let’s get going, I’ll walk you to the library”.

He says it as he grabs your hand, not entwining your fingers, just holding it like mothers do to their kids when crossing a street. It, again, catches you off guard. You don’t really know how to react, you just allow him to hold it, looking at his long fingers wrapped around your much smaller hand, guiding you through the gigantic campus.

You and Jungkook never held hands like this, in front of people, there was always a reason to hide. Holding hands in public made something in your chest feel warm. It felt nice.

You’ve been sitting on your ass for the last three and a half hours, reading a copy of “Cinematography: Theory and Practice”. If anyone asks, you’d never admit it, but it’s been a pleasant read (as pleasant as studying goes, of course). Photography isn’t that bad, actually.

Jungkook would laugh at you hard if you ever admit that. But, of course, you wouldn’t. You were a proudful human being.

Even though you didn’t come to the library as much as you should, whenever you do, you end up not really wanting to leave. Maybe it was the relaxing atmosphere or the smell of books, but there is something that makes you want to spend your whole day studying. Well, maybe that’s why libraries exist in the first place. And as much as you’d like to stay, you notice the sun is already set. It’s time to go.

While you gather your stuff, you check your phone and you notice that you hadn’t touched it this whole time. Both Jimin and Jungkook had texted you.

chim chim 🐥 [5:49 pm]: are u home?

chim chim 🐥 [5:49 pm]: if u are, can i come over after practice? real quick

You [7:11 pm]: sorry, i was studying. not home now, but i’ll be soon

You [7:11 pm]: and of course you can come over

You [7:11 pm]: see ya soon 💛

Now, thinking about it, you hadn’t had the opportunity to catch up with Jimin after that night at the frat house, it’d be nice to see him. He probably was going to try to convince you to leave your cave tonight, but he would never do it openly, so it would be easy to be evasive.

kookie [4:28 pm]: what the fuck have i just seen?

You [7:11 pm]: what?? now i’m curious

You [7:11 pm]: sorry i didnt see your text, kookie

You [7:11 pm]: i was studying

After that, you put your phone in your pocket and head home. All you could think of now was taking a hot relaxing shower.

“I know the situation is absolutely shitty, but don’t isolate yourself… Please”, Jimin asks you as he squeezes your cheeks. “Ok, cutie pie?”

“I’m not!” you jerk your head away from his grasp. “But some days are worse than others… I wanna stay in today, plus I really need to study, there’s an assignment that I need to start working on already. I also wanna spend some time with myself. I’m gonna play some relaxing piano tracks and get some work done, since I’ll have the house for myself. I’ll be ok, Chim, really”.

He raises his small pinky to you. Jimin’s hands are chubby and you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve bitten his fingers when you couldn’t resist its cuteness. He hates it.

“I pinky promise I’ll be ok”, you say as you hook your pinkies together.

“Ok, then, I’ll leave you to your paper”, he starts to walk towards the door, his gym bag hanging over his right shoulder.

He really came right after his dance practice, he looked a bit tired, you notice his black hair looked slightly messy under his white cap. It warms your heart seeing he cares enough to come over on a Thursday night just to check up on your dispirited ass, even though he probably had a long day too.

When he reaches the front door, he turns around with open arms, inviting you into a hug. You mimic his body posture and hook your body with his, as he wraps his arms tightly around you. Jimin’s hugs were always comforting and warm, it was just like hugging Namjoon, those kinds of hugs that make you feel like things are gonna be alright again. You’re gonna be happy again.

“If you need me, just text me, alright?” he whispers to you and you can feel the warmth in his voice. “It takes me less than ten minutes to get here”.

“Ok, Chim”.

“I love you”.

“I love you”.

Then, he turns around and leaves.

You’re finally alone. Closing the door after Jimin, you allow yourself to take a deep breath. You’ve been holding back tears pretty much the entire day, but now that you are alone it feels like you can’t cry. You are mostly tired.

Tired of yourself, of this situation. Of this big obscure hole in your chest that never seems to disappear. You are also very tired of this lingering numbness this hole seems to be holding inside of you. You could use one of Jimin’s hugs again.

You think of Jungkook and how much you miss him. When he was here, the other night, you felt your chest least heavy with this sense of numbness inside. Would it be wrong to want to feel that again? Is it wrong chasing after him?

Maybe, but who cares? You decided to text him.

Not Eunjoo. Not Namjoon. Not Jimin. You wanted to talk and to be with him. And none of the aforementioned people had the effect he had on you, you loved all of them to death, but they couldn’t be compared to Jungkook. The last text sent to him, still unread, left you still wondering what had happened in today’s afternoon.

You [8:33 pm]: heyyy, having fun?

As much as he hadn’t replied to the last couple of texts, you don’t think it will take him long to reply. He usually texts back quickly, since he’s always with his phone. Actually, he usually texts you back quickly. You hear the boys complaining all the time that Jungkook doesn’t even have the decency to leave them on read, he just doesn’t even bother. He’s just distracted, poor boy.

A minute passes, while you’re staring at your phone’s screen as you anticipate the three dots to appear on your screen when he starts typing his response. But they don’t.

Yeah, he’s at a pseudo party, it was naive of you to think he’d be with his phone. He’s with the boys, you bet they’re getting shitfaced with tequila right now. As much as you’d like to talk to him, it’s fine. You’d be fine. You had to learn how to deal with your shit by yourself, you didn’t have to drag Jungkook along.

You decide to check your Instagram feed, it’s always been the social network you had the most fun while using. You see Jungkook’s profile picture on the top of your screen, which indicates he’s posted a story recently and you decide to check it.

A picture of him and Tae 2 minutes ago. You check the time on the top of your screen. 8:36 pm. Ok, he was kinda busy and he probably had something to drink. Maybe sending him another text would work, since he has his phone with him now for sure.

You [8:37 pm]: kookie, can you call me? i don’t feel so good

You [8:37 pm]: really wanna talk to you

You [8:37 pm]: actually, i’d love to talk to you, don’t need to

Ok, sent. You wait for a few seconds, expecting to see the three dots, but they don’t appear. Back to Instagram, you see Jungkook’s profile picture again, he’s posted another story. You check it again, you see that he and the guys were playing beer pong, you know they love to play it. Taehyung was especially good at it, he was probably winning, as always.

It was posted less than a minute ago.

Less than a fucking minute ago. It means he was deliberately ignoring your texts, he had his phone in his fucking hands while you were trying to reach out to him. The only thing you wanted was to be able to listen to his voice. You are so fucking dumb.

Then it hits you. At the end of the day, that’s how you were always going to be: alone. And it hurts. You’ve always respected the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship. That only to find out that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You waited around and you never complained, you allowed him his liberty and you were there, when he needed you. And he’s needed you very often in these past few years. You were always there for him when he looked for you.

Now you need him. Did he even care? Could he at least pretend he does?

He doesn’t even have the decency to text you back. He knows what you’re going through right now and as much as he says he’s here for you, now, when you really need him, he’s not. You feel stupid and ashamed of yourself for trusting him.

It hurts. You feel the tears finally rolling down your cheeks as you feel your heart sinking into your chest. Everything hurts. The tsunami of emotions that hits you brings every single and each feeling you had hidden inside of yourself in these past months.

You think of your mom, of this sense of rejection, of the feeling of never being enough, of Jungkook, of loneliness, of this big hole in your chest that only seems to get bigger and bigger. All at the same time, all of these feelings, almost choking you. The tears never ceasing to stream down your face.

Your phone dings. In a haist, you unlock its screen, not to find the text message you were waiting for.

jin [8:44 pm]: hey, bbygirl

jin [8:44 pm]: what u doin?

And even though this wasn’t the text message you were waiting for, seeing Jin’s name on your phone’s screen did not make you feel disappointed at all. On the contrary, it automatically brought a smile to your face.

You [8:44 pm]: looking for something to watch

You [8:44 pm]: and you?

Yes, you lie. He didn’t need to know about your meltdown.

jin [8:44 pm]: to what do i owe the honor of such a fast reply?

You [8:44 pm]: when i take long to reply, you complain

You [8:44 pm]: when i don’t, you also complain

You [8:44 pm]: can i ever win, seokjin?

jin [8:45 pm]: hey, watch your language

jin [8:45 pm]: to you i’m baby, not seokjin

You [8:45 pm]: 🙄

jin [8:45 pm]: who’s complaining? i’m just surprised

jin [8:45 pm]: anyway

jin [8:45 pm]: came to see yoongi and eunjoo, thought about u

jin [8:45 pm]: just wanted to check up on u

jin [8:45 pm]: i know u r alone today

You [8:46 pm]: honestly?

jin [8:46 pm]: of course

You [8:46 pm]: not great, but i’ll be alright

jin [8:46 pm]: want me to come over?

You [8:46 pm]: don’t worry about me, i’ll be ok

You [8:47 pm]: also dont tell joo

jin [8:47 pm]: ok, wont tell eunjoo

jin [8:47 pm]: but let me rephrase that. do u want company? i wanna see you

You [8:47 pm]: i do

jin [8:47 pm]: ok, luvs

jin [8:47 pm]: i’ll be there in 20

The doorbell rings and you rush to the door. You are nervous. Why are you nervous? It’s Jin! He’s your friend, you are used to being around him. You shake your head, trying to focus on your breathing. Fucking anxiety!

You swing the door open only to find a smiling Seokjin. You can’t help but to smile back. He is wearing a light pink hoodie, a pair of jeans and a black cap. He looks cute, as always, and you notice he’s wearing a different perfume, maybe it was a new one, yes. It was out of this world, wow. He had his hands raised and from them hanged two white plastic bags.

“Heey! What’s this?”, you ask with your brows furrowed, as you step aside, inviting him in.

“I figured you could use a burger”, he says as he walks in your home. “But if you don’t feel like it-”

“No, I do feel like it!”, he smiles, after your excited interruption. “Thanks, oppa!” You finish with an affected tone, batting your eyelashes at him.

He studies your face for a second, his eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips. His gaze glistens with mischief, then, a second later they soften.

“Keep calling me oppa and you’ll see what’s gonna happen”.

“What?” You deadpan.

“I better not say it, Y/n…”

You roll your eyes; and he laughs. You mouth him a “go ahead” as you turn to close the front door.

“So, I kinda of don’t have a living room, sorry”, you point to Namjoon’s bedroom door. “Namjoon’s room leads to our small and humble balcony, do you want to sit over there?”

“I helped your move, remember? I know your place already”.

“Oh”, you didn’t remember, but it’s true, he helped Namjoon and the boys. You continue. “Yeah. So… We don’t have much to do here, sorry. We can either watch something on my computer or sit on the balcony and eat our hamburgers while stargazing”.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m here to spend time with you, I’m down to whatever it is you’d like to do”, he shifts. “Even if you want to vent out or if you just need a shoulder to cry on. I’m here”.

And there he is, doing it again. Making you feel funny inside.

“I-Well…”, you’re pathetic. It feels like you suddenly forgot how to speak. “I mean, I don’t want to bore you… Wh-what do you prefer?”

“Why don’t we eat outside? I know you’re fond of looking at the night sky”, he suggests with a gentle smile.

“I think this is the first time you agree with anything I’ve said tonight!” You state excitedly.

“Of course! The Last Airbender is for a fact, the best thing that happened… And please, understand I’m not saying it’s the best thing that happened on TV in this century, I’m saying it’s the best thing that happened in this century, period”.

“I agree wholeheartedly, Seokjin! Seriously” you tighten your hold around his hand as you say the last word.

Yes, you are holding hands with Jin. Again. This time, you weren’t worried about prying eyes or anything like that. Not that you were worried earlier today while he walked you to the library, but you felt different. You couldn’t explain precisely, but you felt more at ease with it now.

You had finished eating the burgers he brought, they really tasted wonderful. He bragged about knowing the best places to eat in town, due to his profound expertise in cooking when you pointed out how good they tasted. He was insufferable, sometimes.

Luckily, tonight there were no clouds in the sky, as far as your eyes could see, so you could actually stargaze as you ate your burger. There was also an occasional night breeze that blew softly through your hair whenever you felt the night was getting sultry. It was quite an agreeable night and Seokjin’s company was much appreciated.

You two had spent hours just talking. He started telling you all he knew about the proper way to clean lettuce and then, at some point, you lost track of time and space. You originally wanted to show him how Venus was close to the moon tonight, leaning over the balcony grid, as you always do at night and he followed you. That’s how you ended up where you are now.

Of course you weren’t romantically holding his hand, you were just overly excited with the fact that he was also a huge fan of your favorite TV show. You couldn’t really explain how your hand ended up wrapped around his, but there you were, excitedly talking about Prince Zuko’s impeccable redemption arc.

“I think my favorite episode is that one where we find out that Avatar Roku is also Prince Zuko’s great grandfather, you know? On book three”.

“Oh my God, Seokjin! Mine too!” You answer him excitedly, with an annoyingly high pitched voice. “‘The Avatar and the Firelord’… When we start to realize Aang and Zuko’s destinies are tied with deeper bonds than they think, I love it so much!”

“Fuck, Y/n! The more I get to know you, the harder it gets…”, he states with his lips curling in a sort of smirk, his gaze kinda distant, but never leaving your eyes.

“What’s harder?”, you ask him, quirking one of your brows.

“Nah, nevermind”.

“Seokjin!”

“Forget it…”

“That’s unfair! You know I’m curious”, you whine, the affected tone almost back in your voice.

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah!”

“Promise you won’t get mad at me for saying it?”

“I won’t”, you state, raising one of your hands dramatically.

“Really?”

“Jin!”

“Ok, if you insist”, he licks his lips, then he continues. “The more I get to know you, the harder it gets not to be head over heels for you”.

He just says it, as if he was informing you the time. You feel your cheeks burning as your heartbeat starts to get faster. You feel like a teenager, it was silly. He makes you feel silly. You’re speechless right now. Your mind was racing, like, this is some serious shit to say to someone!

Yeah, you liked being around him and talking to him and he was pretty much an angel. But you had Jungkook, you lo… like Jungkook a lot. What you have is not over yet, that’s the truth. And you’re not like Jungkook, you don’t want to lead Jin on, it wouldn’t be fair to him. He is genuinely a nice guy, like, really nice and also a close friend. You do care a lot about him.

You look away. You are weak and the way he looked at you made you feel even weaker. The right thing to do is to tell him that you are in the most complicated moment of your life, so far. You’ve lost your mother and you had feelings for Jungkook. But it feels like the words got stuck in your throat. You are so fucking weak.

You open your mouth, trying to find anything to say, but it’s in vain.

“You don’t have to say anything back, you know? I understand you and Jungkook-ssi have… Something going on. But I don’t really care”, he places his pointer finger under your chin, turning your face in his direction, so you’d look at him. His touch setting your entire face on fire. “I just want you to know that when you realize you deserve best, I’ll be around and all you have to do is to give me a chance”.

You just realize he’s just said that while holding your hand, looking you intensely in the eyes. You really don’t know what to say, it moves you to know someone thinks these things about you. That warm feeling spreads all over your chest again and you know it’s no use trying to stop it.

You pull your hand softly and Jin lets go of it. You scratch your brow. You were silent. Truth is, you didn’t know what to say yet, because you don’t know exactly what you’re feeling. You feel like a fucking teenager!

“You… Shouldn’t waste your time with me, Jin, really”, you try.

“Don’t worry, babygirl, I’ve wasted my time with worse ones”, he says as he pats your head.

“Hey!”, you protest, slapping his arm.

And there it is: his laugh. If it belonged to anyone else it would be the most annoying sound in the world. Yet, it isn’t. Instead of being a source of annoyance, it actually always makes you laugh as well.

“It’s true, Y/n! The last one got me bleaching my fucking hair!”.

“Was a girl the reason why you bleached your hair? Ok! Now I need to know the full story!”

“No fucking way, I’m not telling you!”

“Please, oppa!” You whine with the same affected tone as before.

“Aish, it’s not an amusing story, Y/n”, he says as he suppresses a laugh.

“I don’t care, I’m just curious… But if it makes you uncomfortable or anything, nevermind”.

“Fuck… I hate you! You’re manipulating me!” The laugh he was trying to suppress finally comes out and he flashes you the most beautiful and genuine smile.

“I’m not! I swear, really, if it makes you feel weird, you don’t need to tell me”.

“It’s just ridiculous, Yoongi already scolded me for it… Anyway, I don’t know if Eunjoo already mentioned I had a girlfriend…”, he looks at you, squinting his eyes as he cocks one of his eyebrows.

“Yeah, she mentioned you broke up with your ex recently”.

She did more than that, being the gossip she was, not that you had any complaints, because you liked being informed, you know? She told you everything she knew about Jin’s ex-girlfriend, who apparently managed to make every single one of Jin’s friends hate her guts.

“So, yeah. We broke up recently”, he sighs. “We were together for a year and… Anyway, she wasn’t very nice. And near the end, one day, she told me I was. What did she say exactly? Oh, boring and predictable”, he lets out a humourless laugh and your heart sinks. He is none. He continues. “And when we broke up, like, permanently… Her words kept replaying in a loop in my mind”. His gaze was a little distant now, not really looking you in the eyes.

“They aren’t true, by the way. You know that, right?” You tried your best not to interrupt him as he spoke and when he paused for a second, you took the opportunity to state it.

“Yeah… I kinda know?”, he looks at you again. His gaze, now, warmer. “She hurt me a little and… I decided to do something different with my hair. I don’t know why, I just didn’t want to feel like I was boring and predictable. And you were the first one to compliment my new hairstyle, by the way, that’s why I haven’t dyed it black again”.

You can’t help but smile. After the shitty things we went through with his ex, he keeps his bleached locks, because you like them. Was he even real? Fuck!

“Why do you have to be so sweet, Seokjin?” You snort a faint laugh through your nose.

“I don’t know, babygirl… That’s just my amazing personality shining through”, he answers, both corners of his mouth lifting in a flirtatious smile. “Just hope it doesn’t take long for you to let your guard down for me as well…”

You can’t help but let the corners of your mouth lift in a smirk. You feel your face hot. Your cheeks were burning, you were probably as red as a cherry right now. The funny feeling inside already spreaded through your body. He messes with you big time. This would definitely not end well and if you knew better you’d back the fuck off from this. But you notice that with Jin the hole inside of you seems to get smaller as well.

You look him in the eyes, not averting his intense gaze. You smile again and he follows you, his cheeks squeezing his eyes into little crescent moons. You can’t help but notice how beautiful his eyes are, as well.

Especially when he smiles and they look like the moon.

“You’re impossible, Jin!”

“Yeah, maybe”, he declares nonchalantly. He takes his phone from his pocket and checks the time. “Do you have any morning classes tomorrow?”

“Yes… why?”

“Well, I better get going, then. It’s late for those of us who are responsible adults”, he states as he shows you his phone screen.

“That rules out most of my friends and my brother from the ‘responsible adults’ list”.

Jin shrugs. You both laugh.

“Do you need help cleaning or something?”

“No, Jinie, I got it. I’ll just throw away the to-go boxes, don’t worry”.

“Ok, so, can you walk me to the door?”

“Sure, Jinie”, you say with a faint smile, leading the way to your front door as he follows you. “Thanks for tonight, really”.

“Anytime, babygirl”, he answers as he puts on his sneakers. “Sure you’re gonna be ok by yourself?”

“Relax, I’ll be alright”.

“Ok, then. If you need anything, just text me, alright?”

You nod. He extends his arms and places his large hands on your lower back as he cuddles you in the folds of his arms. You sink your face into his chest as you feel the soft ambrosial aroma of his perfume again. You feel almost intoxicated, but you manage to wrap your arms politely and affectionately around him as well.

He places a kiss on your forehead, his plump lips felt like silk against your skin. The smell of his perfume, the warmth of his arms around you and, now, the tender kiss on your forehead made your stomach flip and you can swear you almost felt dizzy.

Hugging him feels right and you have to stop yourself from complaining when he pulls away from you.

“Oh, before I forget… Check my Instagram story”, he turns around, opening the door, so he can leave. “Bye, Y/n. See you tomorrow”.

“Bye, Jinie. Drive safe!”

He nods, as he closes the door behind himself. You sigh. It always feels like you hold too much air in your lungs when you are around Seokjin.

Of course, you hastily check his Instagram story and, for maybe the hundredth time today, Jin makes your chest feel a funny warmth.

“He went to your house?!” Eunjoo screams in a high pitched voice at the other end of the line.

“Who? Jin?!” You hear Yoongi’s muffled and distant voice as Eunjoo shushes him.

“Yeah, bitch, he did, but stop screaming in my ears or else I won’t tell you anything”.

“Fuck you, I have every goddamn right to be over the moon here! When I saw his story I was like ‘oh my gawd’!”

“Joo, he was so frigging cute… He brought food and we were sitting here on my balcony for hours just talking away”.

“Wait until I tell your brother about this!”

“Grow up, Choi Eunjoo!”

“Jeez, I’m just happy ok? Chill, Kim Y/n!” She giggles. “But he’s amazing, isn’t he? You two will look great together, I’ve always known”.

Before you could reply, you feel your phone vibrating insistently in your hand.

“Yeah, right… Hey, Joo, I gotta go, ok? Someone’s sending me dozens of texts… I think Namjoon is trying to talk to me. Knowing him, it’s quite possible he’s desperate because he lost his keys or something…”

“Classic Kim Namjoon”, she laughs. “Ok, lovey, I’m going to bed anyway. You know I’m an early riser… But I just want to warn you, you won’t escape from giving me the full report tomorrow”.

“Alright, woman… Good night and love you”.

“Love you too”.

As you hang up, another text comes in and your phone vibrates again. Through the phone screen, you see it isn’t Namjoon who has been texting you, it’s Jungkook.

After he ignored your texts, he has some fucking nerve.

kookie

5 Text Messages (sent now)

Should you open his texts or not?

He didn’t deserve your tears then and he certainly doesn’t deserve your attention now, you could hear Eunjoo’s voice in your head. And yeah… he literally has ignored you for hours, when he knew you were sad. Your mom passed away and he knew you were feeling down, but he chose to ignore you either way. He could kiss your ass now.

Better than to ignore him, is to leave him on read. He gets pissed when you do it.

kookie [00:39 am]: are you home?

kookie [00:39 am]: heyyyy i know yoi aren’t asleep yet answr me

kookie [00:39 am]: y/n!!!!!!!

kookie [00:39 am]: Y/N!! i need talk to u

kookie [00:40 am]: i’ll call you if you font text me bacj

By the way he’s been typing, you notice he’s not only inconvenient, he’s also very drunk. Oh, fuck that. He can text his fucking girlfriend, instead.

When you open his previous messages, three dots appear on the screen and he continues.

kookie [00:40 am]: fuck what was he doing ay your place on a fucking thursday eveninh????

kookie [00:40 am]: you two are fucking i knoq you are

kookie [00:40 am]: i’m gonna bEAT THE SHIT OYT OF HIM YOU’LL SEE

kookie [00:40 am]: he’s gonna have to leave at somw point and ill be here ready to kik his fuckinh ass

Your blood boils. Was he talking about Jin? He had to have some fucking balls to talk to you like that, huh?

You [00:40 am]: wtf are u talking about???

You [00:40 am]: go to sleep, jungkook, ur drunk

kookie [00:40 am]: babeeeeeeeeee

kookie [00:40 am]: please let me in

kookie [00:40 am]: i’m down here i just wanna see yoy

You [00:40 am]: i don’t want to talk to you, jungkook

You [00:40 am]: go home

You [00:41 am]: i have early classes tomorrow, gotta go to bed

You [00:41 am]: you should do the same

You [00:41 am]: bye

You sent him these texts and locked your phone screen. Enough, you’ve had enough of this. Running your fingers through your hair, you let out a heavy sigh, with frustration running through your entire body.

Your phone vibrates again in your hand. But this time, it wasn’t due to a text message. It’s him… He is calling you.

kookie

iPhone

“What do you want?” You ask harshly, as you hear his breathing through the phone.

in the name of the sweet baby jesus THIS ADDED +5 YEARS IN MY LIFE AISKJAKSJAKS THIS IS ME RN READING THIS COMMENT

I'm so sorryyyyy, JK is indeed a great son of a BIATCH HERE ajdkhsjs and Y/n is so in loveeee it's hard for her to see it BUT CAN WE BLAME HER??

things you happen ~ that's all I can say lmao DONT HATE ME AND PLEASE PROTECT JIN.

but seriously thank you for taking the time to read this new chapter and for letting me know what you think of it 💜💜💜 you LITERALLY made my day with this one 🥰 stay healthy, luvs !!

just say goodnight n go | chapter 04

pairing ↠ jin x reader, fuckboy!jungkook x reader

genre ↠ college au | love triangle | strangers to lovers | slow burn | fluff, angst, smut | multi-chapter

word count ↠ 9k

18+ | warnings ↠ character grieving, jealousy, swearing, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of a slightly toxic relationship, cheating.

summary ↠ when your mother passes away, you go back to your college student life, only to find out the guy you liked (and were friends with benefits with) had a girlfriend now. trying to get over him and your mother’s passing, seokjin, the friend of a friend wants you to give him a chance. will you find your way back to yourself?

A/N  ↠ I just wanna say that I'm sorry for taking aaaaages to write, but life's been a little complicated these past few weeks. And also I'm a perfectionist, so I reread what I write 100 times so I can try to make it as good as I can lol but as Namjoon says, it'll never be perfect, we need to move on at some point.

Anywayyy, I hope you guys enjoy this new part and don't judge OC too harshly, she's weak and JK knows how to play his game. I'm sorry if this came out too long as well lol I hope you enjoy :) I want to thank @primadonnasdream for the support and for being my most faithful reader, my brainstorm partner and my best friend 💜

Please, remember feedback is always highly appreciated.

INDEX ↠ prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

This is another scenario where you know if Eunjoo could see you, she’d surely be kicking your ass right now (figuratively, of course). Initially, you didn’t plan on allowing Jungkook to come up to your apartment, but he insisted and… Well, talking to him wouldn’t harm you.

A heartbeat after you buzzed him in, he was knocking on your door fervently.

“Jungkook-ssi, if you don’t calm the fuck down, I won’t let you in!” You shout from inside.

Silence.

“Sorry”, you hear him sighing from the outside. “I’m calm, babe, let me in, please. I need to talk to you”.

When you open the door, after pretending to debate with yourself if this was a good idea, Jungkook doesn’t waste a second on waiting for your invitation to come in. He enters your apartment as fast as a hare and before you know it, he’s already nowhere to be seen.

“Where the fuck is he?” He shouts, voice coming from inside your bedroom.

“What the fuck, Jungkook? Do not yell at me!” You shout back, going after him. “What are you talking about?”

“I know he was here with you, Y/n... “ Jungkook looks you in the eye. He was flushed, chest heaving up and down harshly. “I saw the fucking story, ok?”

“Is this about Jin?” You ask him, surprised.

“You told everyone you had to study… And I fucking bought it! That’s the funny part, I bought it! And here you were, having the time of your life with prince charming. I’m not fucking stupid, ok?”.

“Oh yeah? Having the time of my life with prince charming? You’re not even making any sense! I was crying my eyes out for hours, cause I couldn’t reach you and I needed you today!” You state it harshly, pointer finger poking him on his buff chest. “He came here to keep me company, you ass! At least, he cares about me!”

You breathe in, trying to concentrate on not allowing tears to well up your eyes.

“Are you trying to say that I don’t care about you?” He runs his hands through his hair nervously. “Well, Y/n, in case you haven't noticed, I am upset, that’s why I didn’t wanna talk to you!”

“Fuck that, Jungkook! My mother died and I was feeling down and you couldn't give two shits about it!” You say as you pinch your nose and it hits you. “Wait… You’re upset… with me?”

“More than that upset, I’m hurt!”

“Hurt?” You ask him, not being able to hide the astonishment in your voice. “What did I even do?”

“I understand you must be head over heels with prince charming so you seem to have forgotten I go to the same uni as you… I saw you two walking off into the sunset, hand in hand around campus today as if you were a happy little couple. Then… Your brother comes to me and shows me a picture of you taken by said prince charming all happy saying ‘Y/n and Jin are together’ and blah, blah, blah. Am I not allowed to be hurt?”.

“That’s rich, Jungkook… You must be one to talk about being a happy little couple with someone else, right?” You stare deep into his eyes and you see something shift, he looks down, directing his gaze at his feet. “Right?!”

You raise your tone at the last question, startling both you and Jungkook simultaneously.

“Have you noticed you never deny it, Y/n? For fuck’s sake! Are you together or not?”

“Jin and I?” You sigh, tired. “Oh my fucking God! We are friends, Kook! Don’t you trust me at all?”

“I trust you, yes! I don’t trust him. He’s been all over you since we met!”

“But if you trusted me, this conversation wouldn’t be happening…”

He reaches out for your hand, his long fingers entwining around yours. His hand is warm. He looks at you with his doe-eyes, full of something you can’t really describe or identify. Could it be love too? It makes you lower your guard. You feel guilty for lashing out at him.

“What happened here tonight, babe?” He asks, tone soft now.

You think of Jin’s hand and how holding it made you feel… better?

“What do you think, Kook? We just talked… and had something to eat, like normal friends do!”

“You swear?”

“Jeon Jungkook!” You protest as your feet stamp loudly against the wooden-floor.

Note to self: apologize to your downstairs neighbor tomorrow for that.

“I’m sorry, babe. It’s just hard to swallow, ok? You and this guy…. It just doesn’t sit right with me, that’s all”.

“It’s so ironic… You’re literally in a relationship with another girl right now and my friendship with Jin is the thing that doesn’t sit right with you”, you let out a humourless laugh, pulling your hand away from his grasp. “You’re something else, Jungkook, really!”

“Y/n…” He pinches the bridge of his nose, as he inhales deeply. “Me and Seulki… It’s complicated. You think I don’t want to break up with her? We were a mistake and I realized that as soon as you got back, ok? It’s just complicated! I can’t just do this out of nowhere”.

“Sure, Kook, if you say so… But me and Jin are friends, he’s been amazing to me ever since we met and-”, he cocks his eyebrows as you speak and you feel your blood boil. “What now?”

“We were just friends too, Y/n, that’s what worries me!” He gestures emphatically. “Especially when you're basking in how amazing he is and how terrible I am to you”.

“Seriously?” He nods. It’s like he is really clueless. Maybe that’s what he is. Clueless. You bring your hands to your temples, where you start rubbing in circular motions, trying to ease the tension you’re feeling. “Jungkook… All I wanted was you. Since the first time. I don’t know how many times I’ll have to repeat myself to you…”

“I don’t know… You keep saying this, but you’ve been trying to make me feel jealous since you met him. If all you want is to be with me, why was this guy here tonight? I wanted you at the party and you lied to me to be with him”

“That’s not it, I swear! I was just feeling a little down…”

“You swear?”

“Yes, Kook! I’m sorry if-”

“Just promise me this is not happening again”, he quirks his head, analyzing you with his attentive gaze. “You will keep your distance from this guy”.

You stare at him for a while. Brows furrowed, eyes profusely dark on you, straight posture, his much taller figure close to you. You felt slightly intimidated, not that you feared he’d hurt you, you know he would never. But there was something you couldn’t describe about his actions that don’t feel right.

You’re very fond of Seokjin. Not in the same way he is fond of you, that is. You like him very much as a very dear friend, what Jungkook is asking of you doesn’t seem right. You don’t want to disappoint or hurt him, you two have been together much longer than you’ve known Seokjin. It also doesn’t feel right to ditch him for another guy’s friendship.

“Alright, Kook”.

You lie.

As you feared and also anticipated, your voice cracks and you feel tears welling up your eyes. Before you can stop yourself, a very thick tear rolls down your right cheek. Making it impossible for you to keep on masking your feelings.

Jungkook gets closer and you don’t push him away. Maybe that’s what you should do, but you don’t. The warmth of his body being welcomed by yours, as he wrapped both of his arms around your waist, snuggling you in them.

You hide your face in his chest and he places his chin on the top of your head, as he caresses your hair softly. You allow your tears to roll down your cheeks freely, with your arms around Jungkook’s figure. Memories from your life from before flood your mind.

Your mom, before she was sick, sitting on her sofa reading one of Jane Austen’s books. Her favorites. Everytime you closed your eyes you could picture her just like this. It sometimes comforts you, but every other day it makes you feel like there’s nothing left in this world.

Then you think of you and Jungkook, in the middle of the night, laying together in your single bed in the room you shared with Eunjoo. Fingers entwined, as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. Feeling his sweaty skin on your lips. Feeling the warmth of his body against your own. She was never around when he was. You miss everything about those days, from seeing Eunjoo everyday to being able to be with Jungkook. Like, really be with him.

“Don’t cry, babe, I’m here…” He whispers softly to you, holding you tighter.

You aren’t really able to answer him and your muffled sobs can be heard instead. You feel your chest tighten. You had so many months of silent misery filling those sobs, it was good to finally get it out of your system. You hold onto Jungkook, grabbing his sweatshirt’s fabric until your knuckles are white.

Being in his arms was all you wanted since you came back. This moment showed you you two shared a bond that was deeper than eyes could see, deeper than sex could ever be. It makes you feel safe. Even though you hurt and everything else seems off, you know he’s right for you. He could not be there for you all the time, but when he was… It was worth the wait.

You can’t tell exactly how long you nestled yourself in his arms, but it was long enough for you to cry every tear that you had been holding back in these past few weeks. Jungkook was acting like a perfect saint, holding you tight and caressing your hair the entire time and it was extremely comforting. You felt loved. He didn't have to say it, you could feel it.

Sniffing, you look up to him. When he looks at you, you swear you can see stars in his dark eyes. You can’t help but to allow the corner of your lips to be lifted, smiling kindly to him.

“I hate seeing you cry”, he whispers to you, as he cups your face in his hands.

“So sto-” A sob escapes from your lips. “Stop making me cry, Kook”.

“I will, babe, I promise. I’ll never make you cry again, I’m sorry”, he answers softly, rubbing his thumb on your cheek, drying the wet trail the tears had left on your face.

He leans in for a soft and affectionate peck on your lips, still holding your face in his hands. You kiss him back, allowing him to take over all your senses, even though it was only a soft and innocent kiss.

Or was it?

Jungkook takes your bottom lip between his teeth as his tattooed hand starts to explore down your body. Subconsciously, you wrap one of your arms around his neck, as you stand on the tip of your toes. You know this is the last thing you should be doing right now, least of all after he ignored you and then came to your home to make a scene. You know you shouldn’t, but all you wanted was this. To kiss him.

To hell with everything else.

Before you could stop yourself, Jungkook slips his tongue between your lips and you can feel the lingering taste of alcohol on it. It doesn’t stop you from allowing him to deepen the kiss, as he quickens up the pace of his slightly desperate tongue against yours.

“Can I make you feel good tonight, babe?” He whispers against your lips, his hot breath fanning against your face. You nod. “I want you to cum on my tongue”.

You nod again as you feel anticipation bubbling inside of you, making you feel slightly nervous for a second. Jungkook doesn’t really go down on you and he only does so when he really wants to show you the depths of his affection. It’s sweet.

“So, say it, Y/n. Say that you want to cum on my tongue while I eat it you out stupid”.

For the hundredth time in your life, you can’t muster the courage to say it. Not at first, anyway. He knows you get embarrassed, but he always insists, God knows why.

He moves his hand to your neck, a menacing look in his eyes.

“I swear to God, Y/n, if you start with your ‘I’m shy, I can’t talk dirty, Kookie’ shit, I’ll go berserk”, his tone stern as he flashes you an also stern gaze.

You can’t resist, of course. When he looks at you like he owns you, you feel like he really does. It sets your core on fire.

You look at him, mustering all the courage you can to do as he says.

“I want to cum all over your tongue tonight”, it comes out as a confident whisper.

Then, he smirks. That smirk only Jungkook can give you; the one that has you weak on your knees and it makes you feel like electricity runs through your veins. You see his eyes glistening with lust and all you can do is to smirk back.

He tightens his grasp on your neck and before you can gasp for air, his mouth is glued to yours. He kisses you hungrily, with such intensity, it makes you feel inebriated. You feel again the lingering taste of tequila on his lips, but it is just as pleasant as the intensity of the kiss itself. He places his other hand on one of your butt cheeks, squeezing it harshly, certainly leaving a few bruises for you to keep thinking about tonight for a few days.

Jungkook pushes you and you fall on your back in your bed. Before you know it, he has his body hovering over yours, as he leaves lovebites to your collarbone. He presses his body onto yours and you can feel him already semi hard through his jeans.

“See what you do to me?” He asks you, grabbing one of your hands and placing it on his cock. “That’s only from kissing you…”

You let a breathy moan escape from your lips when his words reach your ears. He knows exactly what to say to you. He knows your body. He knows you. When you’re with him, you feel inebriated and it’s like he’s the only person other than you left in this world.

Jungkook, then, grabs your wrist and seizes your hand away from his now fully aroused cock.

“No, Kookie”, you pout, his lips hovering over your own as you speak. “Let me feel you”.

“No, babe, tonight’s all about you”, he whispers against your lips.

He presses his boner in your covered entrance, you start grinding and you notice his breathing getting heavier. Pressing his lips against yours again, he places a soft peck on them and as he pulls away, biting your lower lip and dragging it with his teeth.

“Can we get rid of these?” He asks you, playing with the waistband of your Scooby Doo pj’s shorts.

You nod a bit more emphatically than you had intended and Jungkook grins, he looks devilishly beautiful, it’s unfair. His dark locks almost covering his dark eyes, full of a blaze that lights up his divine face. You feel the anticipation damping your underwear. It’s ridiculous how wet you get with him so much as looking at you.

Clasping his pointer and middle finger on the waistband of your shorts, Jungkook tosses them somewhere on the floor, along with your panties. The same fingers that undressed you were now trailing the outside of your lips, smearing on your wetness. You squirm under his touch, stopping a moan to come out of your lips.

“Look at you, babe, all wet for me already”, his fingers still in the same place, you’re so wet you can hear yourself. “You want me so bad it’s embarrassing”.

Yeah, you agree. But you’re too far along now to complain. Jungkook then breaks physical contact with you and it’s like your skin burns of how much you need his touch. You craved his hands on you 24/7 and when he has them on you it always makes your heart flutter and your head dizzy, it’s hard to let him pull away.

On his feet, he looks at you with a smirk, the same dominant expression carved on his dazzling face as always.

“Be a good girl and spread your legs for me, will you?”

“Hm, no”, you tease.

“Babe, I’m trying to be romantic here…” he places his possessive hands on both of your thighs. “But if you don’t spread those legs right now, I won't ask again and I’ll also make sure to bruise you pretty bad so you won't be able to hide it from your prince charming”.

“Oh my God! Can’t you just forge-”

Before you could finish telling him off, Jungkook sinks his teeth on your thigh harshly, literally not giving a fuck wether there’s gonna be a bruise after this. You moan lightly when he starts sucking the sensitive skin there.

By instinct, your legs fall to the sides as your body responds to his touch, like in a meticulously rehearsed dance. You wanted to resist, you really did, but he has such a strong grip over you, it’s like you can’t really control yourself.

“Playing hard to catch, are you?” He asks as he rubs his thumb over the hickey he left on you.

“A little”, you giggle.

“Yeah, it’s not like this was very hard”, he states with a playful smirk on his lips. “Anyway, now that I got my babe marked… Come here”.

He tugs you closer, pulling you by the waist to the edge of the bed. He bends down on his knees and you feel the lightfeather touch of his tongue against your clit, in one very longstanding swipe. Jungkook’s teasing you and it has you whining under his touch.

Desperate for some relief, you buck your hips into Jungkook’s face. You feel a vibration coming from his muffled laugh, as his hands trail from your thighs to your ass, squeezing it roughly, as he starts to suck wet kisses against your mound. His warm tongue heaving up and down on your bundle of nerves, so pleasuring it makes your back arch and your toes curl.

“Oh- Kook, right there!” You whine again, finally being able to muster an intelligible sentence in your brain.

Your vocal validation only seems to make him even more eager to please you. His tattooed hand trailed back from your ass to your inner thigh, where he made sure to squeeze the sensitive skin.

You feel Jungkook’s tongue taking turns on slowing and speeding up his movements against your clit and you allow moans to roll off of your mouth, shamelessly. Your head spins from the waves of pleasure Jungkook’s tongue sends through your body. You know he likes to hear you, so you don’t stop yourself. The delighted feeling coming not only from your pussy, but also from somewhere near your chest. He makes it so hard to be mad at him when he acts like this… When he does whatever it takes to please you.

He, then, pushes his middle finger into your slit. You moan even harder this time around, while he curled his finger against your wet walls. You clench your walls around his finger, desperate to be filled.

“Need something more?” He asks with a husky voice, lips still dangerously close to your pussy.

You lift your head up slightly, looking him in the eyes. You nod. Seeing him with his face buried between your thighs, his dark gaze intensely set on you, hands on and in you, makes you notice how deeply you wrapped yourself around his finger. And you did it freely. He makes you forget about everything else, pushes all your problems aside. It indeed feels like you two are the last people on this planet.

“I want you inside me”, you whisper back at him.

“I am inside you”, he answers teasingly, finger never stopping to move inside your slit.

“Yea-”, he curled his finger and you choke on your words.

He smirks. Fucker.

“You were saying?” He cocks one of his eyebrows, smirk still hanging on his reddish lips.

“I want you to fuck me, Kook”, your voice a whisper again.

Jungkook shakes his head, clicking his tongue.

“Please, Kookie”, you groan.

He forrows his brows, never averting his gaze. Another two fingers are pushed past your damp walls, this time around building a blinding pressure to your stomach. You grew wetter by the second, arching your back off the bed again and moaning shamelessly.

“Best I can do is this, babe…” He whispers with his dusky, dangerously sexy voice, hot breath against your pussy. “I want you whining about how much you miss my cock tonight… So you learn not to make me jealous again, do you hear me? Next time I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll be begging me to stop”.

You nod robotically. All you can think about is how much you crave him.

“Then, use fucking words, Y/n! Say you understand you’re mine!”

You’re trying… You’re really trying to find your voice, but he’s making it impossible for you with the pace he has set on the fingers he’s burying between your folds, fucking you dumb. You can feel you’re close and so can he, because your walls clench onto his fingers as if your sanity depended on it. It does, actually.

“Hold back, Y/n”, he orders sternely. “I told you I want you cuming on my tongue, not on my fingers… I’ll only pick up where I left off if you fucking tell me how desperetaly you want to get fucked by my cock”.

And the fingers inside your slit do not stop to tease you, curling up against your desperate walls. You’re close.

“Wanna get fu-fucked dumb by you, Koo-ook! I miss your cock so mu-ch”, you’re babbling breathlessly at this point.

You’re close.

“Maybe next time if you deserve it, I’ll fuck you nice and good”.

You’re so fucking close.

“Ohhh, Kook, I’m… close!”

You cry out as you feel his tongue against your mound again. Your hands go straight to his hair and you grip his dark locks, he moans when he feels your hold on his scalp. And you lose the last bit of self control you still had, as you feel his mouth sucking your clit into his mouth.

You don’t really know where to focus, your chest is heaving up and down heavily as you cry out his name. You feel your legs shaking uncontrollably as the ecstasy spreads throughout your body, as if time and space have been suspended for a split second. You must have moaned desperately, your poor neighbours must hate you.

But to hell with them. Jungkook pulls away from your clit, a faint smile on his lips. He looks ecstatic as well, his fingers still inside you.

“So… Was it good?”

You close your eyes, trying to focus on your breathing.

“You are amazing, Kook, always”, you answer, kind of blushed.

You lean on your elbows to look at him properly. He looked dashing with his messy hair and his slightly glossy lips, covered with your wetness. You lean for a kiss, but he turns his head.

“I’ll go clean myself, babe, just a second. You know I don’t like kissing after…” He gestures randomically.

He gets on his feet and heads out of your room, trying to adjust himself in his pants. You knew that he hated kissing after going down on you. He’s told you once that for some reason he didn’t like the idea of you tasting yourself on him. You know he likes to be in charge, so you just let him.

As you lay back on bed, staring at the ceiling, you sigh. But this time around, you’re sighing because you feel happy, so happy it makes your heart skip a beat. You feel extremely validated by him and his gesture today. You feel so intimate, so close. He did all he could to make you feel better and being comforted by him made you realize that the lump in your throat had completely disappeared.

At least for now.

He comes back with a smile on his face, sitting on the edge of your bed, beside you.

“Will you stay with me?” You ask.

He shakes his head negatively, fingers combing through your hair softly.

“I told the guys I was going out for some cigarettes, I don’t want them to start wondering…” his voice trails off suggestively.

He leans in for a peck on your lips. He had his eyes closed and it sent your heart aflutter. With him, you know the details matter more than big gestures. Maybe he really means to break things up with Seulki, if he’s kissing you with his eyes closed. It means something, right?

It has to.

“Gotta go, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Sure”.

He gets on his feet, but he stops at the door.

“Oh, I remembered something. Tomorrow morning, after our first class, I’m teaching Tae how to use his new analog, why don’t you join us? I can help you with that paper for Han gyosunim’s class, what do you think?”

“Sounds great, Kook! I’ll swing by”.

“See you, love”

“See ya”

He nods, tapping lightly at the door frame before actually leaving this time.

Inebriated, you walk towards the bathroom to also clean yourself. When you look at your reflection in the mirror, you feel like you’re glowing. Being in love really does wonders to us, doesn’t it? Shortly after, you fall into a restful sleep, unlike the ones you’ve had on the previous nights this week.

Something has been bugging Jin the entire morning, of that Yoongi is a hundred percent sure. He’s been fidgeting in his chair and sighing whenever he gets distracted. When a phone rings, which is completely normal, since they work in a goddamn law firm, he huffs. He’s been sulking since he got to the office.

Yoongi has known Seokjin since he was a child, they go way back. He wants to get something off his chest, that much Yoongi’s already noticed. Yoongi can bet anyone that part of his demeanor is a way of showing it to his younger friend.

After the 5th sigh Seokjin lets out in a row (yes, Yoongi has been keeping count), he gives in.

“What?”

Jin, who has been staring at his computer screen with his furrowed brows, looks at his desk partner.

“What what?” He asks Yoongi, dumbfounded.

“You’ve been sulking the entire morning, Seokjin, what the hell happened?” He insists.

“Nothing”, Jin states with a blank expression on his face.

“Nothing? Ok... But if I hear you sighing over a phone ringing again, Imma hit you with this fucking stapler”, he threatens Jin, showing him the forementioned object. “I’m not even joking!”

“It’s nothing, Yoongs, nevermind”.

“Seokjin, I fucking mean it!” The raven-haired man whisper shouts to his friend. “Spill it out already”.

Seokjin huffs.

“It’s… Y/n” Jin fidgets on his seat.

Yeah, Yoongi figured his friend’s mood might have something to do with you. As always, he is right.

“What about her?”

Jin sighs again. He knows his best friend pretty damn well, so he also knows Yoongi isn't dropping the subject without digging into it first.

“We were together last night, right?”

“Yeah, I know”, Yoongi states.

“I know you know, man, you’re ruining my storytelling!”

“Sorry”.

“Yeah, anyway…” He raises his hand dramatically and continues. “We spent the night together and of course I wasn't stupid to make any moves yet. But it seemed like it was a perfect night, y’know? I even told her, like… That I like her and that I’ll be here waiting for a chance” Yoongi’s eyes widened, but Seokjin continues. “Yes, I know. I’m intense, I’m a Sagittarius… Anyhow, everything went fine and I feel like she’s really opening up to me, but then…”

He stops, pointer finger raised, asking his friend to wait a second. Yoongi patiently does so, looking at Seokjin’s anxious figure and he takes a little while looking for something on his phone.

Yoongi feels bad for his friend, Seokjin is healing from a deep heartbreak. Yoongi was the only friend that remained by his side, when he distanced himself from everyone else. Actually, when his ex isolated him and despite everyone’s warnings, Jin walked in his ex’s trap willingly. All Yoongi could do was wait until Jin realized who she really is. He did, eventually.

She messed him up big time and now he was collecting the broken pieces of himself. Fortunately, he had Yoongi by his side. Jin told his friend many times how he never wanted to get involved with anyone ever again and that falling in love was nothing but stupidity. Of course, Yoongi did not agree on that entirely, but he wanted to protect his friends’ feelings as much as he could. He couldn’t do much, but he was always a shoulder to cry on. Then, Eunjoo started to act behind his back, talking about you to Jin, showing him your pictures, telling him the things you have in common. It sparked Jin’s interest. And after meeting you in person, he fell on his knees.

“So, I thought maybe things would start… y’know, evolving? But then, yeah, I saw this”, Jin shows his phone to his raven-haired friend.

Yoongi squints, leaning forward to take a better look at what his friend is trying to show him. He ruminates for a while and looks back at his blonde best friend.

“Ok, and?”

“And?” Seokjin returns the question with a dumbfounded expression carved on his face. “YAA! Can’t I just be frustrated?! Look how close they’re standing to each other, they look so fucking intimate!” He flashes his phone again to his friend.

“They’re close friends... You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know that.” He snorts. “But that’s not all they are and you know it. He’s a handsome guy, right? I don't know if I can keep up with that plus the intimacy they already have, I know I’ll soon be back to square one. Can’t this guy just disappear? Like, get a job in another country or something”.

“You are intimidated by Jungkook? I think you’re overreacting”.

“Oh, yeah? Bite me! Remember how you reacted to Namjoon and Eunjoo’s shit? Because I do!”

Yoongi crosses his arms and this time around, he’s the one huffing.

“That was different, dude. You know it”.

Jin averts his gaze for a second, thinking about the past scenario.

“Ok. It was a little different, but you also overreacted” Jin pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Now is the time you start comforting me, alright? Tell me she’s not in love with him or something”

Yoongi rolls his eyes at his friend, as he tries to suppress a faint smile on the corner of his lips. When Seokjin gets nervous, he gets anxious and starts speaking fast, it’s hard to understand what he’s saying. It’s a little comical, actually.

“Man… You’re anxious, that’s all. You know Y/n and Jungkook go way back-”

“I know, Yoongs! That's the problem!”

“Can I talk now?” Yoongi asks, jerking one of his brows.

“Yeah, sorry”.

“As I was saying, they have history together. But as far as I’m aware, he just stolls her around... He’s a jerk, basically. Eunjoo hates his guts because of that. Now with this girlfriend of his… Let’s see how things play out. Someone’s probably gonna get hurt”.

“I know! Fucking asshole! I’d love to punch that fucking nose of his”.

“You could try, but he’d probably beat the shit outta you”, Yoongi laughs. “He’s into boxing or something”.

“Yea, I heard”.

“But as I was saying, now Y/n’s fragile. She needs people’s support. And he’s her friend, of course she’s gonna lean on him at least a little. She’s been through some serious shit with her mom’s health and as much as I love Namjoon, he hasn’t been very helpful…”

“I wish I could do more to help her”.

“Jin, you've been pretty supportive. And that's honestly what I think you should keep on doing… She’s just met, you know? You’re head over heels for her, but she needs time. She’s been through a lot. Give her time”.

“Yeah… You’re probably right”, he sighs again. “I just worry about being completely overshadowed by Jungkook-ssi, y’know? They have so much in common, they like the same stuff…”

“If that was enough to hold two people together, you should still be dating Bonhwa, right? She was also into the same stuff as you and she was a Law major just like us”.

Seokjin shakes his head negatively, as he dismisses Yoongi’s words dramatically.

“God forbid”.

“You see? It makes absolutely no sense... He’s an asshole, she’ll see it eventually”.

Seokjin mulls over his friends’ words. Looking back at his computer screen, the words start scrambling in front of his eyes. He isn't really able to focus on work, Yoongi’s typing distracts him again.

She’ll see it eventually. Yoongi’s words resonated in his mind. It was all he could hope for.

Kong gyosunim dismisses the class in the middle of a heated argument between Cha Songwook (yes, him again) and Hong Dahae. It was unfortunate, because it had been pretty amusing so far to see the two of them screaming at each other’s faces. Before you left, you remember the two of them were seeing each other, but things ended badly, it seems.

Your phone dings with an expected text from your best friend, Eunjoo.

joo 💛 [2:45 pm]: on my way

joo 💛 [2:45 pm]: are you there?

You [2:45 pm]: not yet, on my way too

Eunjoo’s been bugging you to tell her how your evening with Seokjin was, so you two decide to go for a coffee on campus. It was also an excuse to see each other and catch up, you did that as often as life allowed you to.

You finish gathering your stuff while Songwook and Dahae were still discussing Kubrick's use of Mise-en-Scene. As you open the classroom’s door, you’re surprised to see Jungkook, leaning on the corridor wall. He had his hands in his leather jacket’s pockets and he looked at you with a big warm smile, one of those smiles that sends your heart aflutter.

And even though you’d been together a few hours ago, you’re just as happy to see him again. Earlier today, you’d been at the frat house, where only Jungkook and Taehyung were awake. As he told you the night before, he’d be teaching Tae how to use his new camera and the three of you shared some thoughts about photography. You also found out Namjoon got legless last night and was still asleep up until that point. Fortunately, he already texted you to let you know he’s still alive.

“Hey!” You get closer, waving at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I go here, babe”.

“Duh!” You roll your eyes. “I mean, here, here. In front of my classroom”.

“Just wanted to say hi again”, he declares, as his hands travel to your lower back, pulling you in his arms. He brushes his nose against your cheek and continues.

“Jungkook, have you lost your mind?!” You ask, pulling yourself away from him. “We’re in the middle of the corridor!”

He laughs softly, his eyes turning into tiny crescent moons.

“There’s no one around here, babe”.

“Not gonna push my luck”, you state. “Er… Dahae and Songwook are at each other’s throats back there… Didn't even know they had broken up”.

“Neither did I. But good for her, he’s a pain in the ass”, he runs his hand through his hair, his eyes traveling down your body. “You look fucking hot in these tight pants, babe”.

“Shut up, Jungkook!” You push him playfully, blushing.

He laughs. You could swear to God, when he laughs…

“What are your plans for today?” He asks.

“Coffee with Eunjoo, actually, she must be waiting for me already”.

“Oh yeah? I’ll walk you there”.

He walks side by side with you the entire way. It’s not as comfortable as it should be. For the most part of the way, you keep trying to find something interesting to say, but you fail. You mention Songwook and Dahae again, but it falls flat. You try complaining about the weather, but it also falls flat. At some point, you just give up and decide to just walk.

Jungkook has his hands in his pockets and he’s as silent as you. You don’t really understand where this is coming from, but there’s something different about being alone with him. It makes you think about that one time you and Jin held hands. But why? If you had Jungkook with you, why are you thinking about Jin? Fuck.

Sharing silence isn’t as comfortable as it used to be. Maybe those months away have indeed changed things between you, maybe that’s why he’s gotten himself into this crazy relationship of his. It makes you feel a little anxious and you mentally thank the universe for the fact that this coffee shop is relatively near your classroom.

You and Eunjoo see each other through the shop window, she waves at you with a smile on her face. But her smile fades as soon as she locks eyes with Jungkook.

Ok, you were already expecting this to happen.

“Alright, babe, enjoy your coffee”, he rubs his fingers on the back of your hand. “Give Eunjoo my love”.

“See ya, Kookie!”

He waves and leaves. For some reason, you feel weird. He felt weird. You can’t really explain, but there’s something… You didn’t know. Weird.

Pushing the door open, you hear the tinkling of the bell that’s placed above it so the owners can always know when someone’s coming in.

This is Eunjoo’s favorite coffee shop, it’s small, intimate and, honestly, they served the best red velvet cake you’ve ever had the chance to taste. It was your best friend’s favorite, so this is why she always favors coming here.

“I’m happy to see you, but I’m not happy to see Jungkook”, she declares as the two of you hug.

“Oh, Joo, come on! He’s our friend…”

She snorts. You both sit. In front of her, on the small wooden table, you see a cup of coffee and a slice of their famous red velvet cake.

“Jungkook and I stopped being friends when I realized he’s been stringing you along this whole time…” She states as she takes a sip of her coffee.

“Ouch”.

Eunjoo is literally your soulmate, but she could be harsh, sometimes. Especially when it comes tô Jungkook. Truth is, she never understood what you have.

“Ok, fuck Jungkook, can you now please tell me more about your evening with your future boyfriend?”

“Well, my friend Kim Seokjin came by yesterday”, you continue, despite the face she makes. “And he was honestly so sweet… He brought us burgers and we pretty much spent the entire night talking. Like, just talking”.

“You already told me this on the phone last night. I want details, Y/n!”

“Ugh!” You roll your eyes and she deadpans. “Alright… So we talked about his love for cooking and he mentioned he wanted to take me to a few restaurants in town. Then, he mentioned one specific restaurant that brings him fond memories of his childhood and we started to talk about it and I mentioned one of my favorite things as a child was playing Katara and Sokka with Namjoon and-”

“Sorry to interrupt”, you hear a female voice. “Here’s your espresso. Can I get you anything else?”

“I ordered yours, forgot to tell you”, Eunjoo tells you fondly and you smile at her in the same way.

“No, thank you”, you answer the waitress and she nods, leaving you and Eunjoo alone again. “Ok, so, where was I?”

“You told Seokjin you’re an Avatar nerd…”

“I didn’t say that, but, anyway… I also found out he loves The Last Airbender as much as me. Like, he’s not a casual fan, he’s also obsessed. But that’s not the important part. The important part is… He told me he was head over heels for me or something”.

Eunjoo's eyes widen and she covers her mouth with her hands.

“Head over heels?!” You hear her muffled voice asking with excitement. “Oh my God! When I introduced you two I didn’t expect that to happen so fast, I’m impressed with my matchmaking skills this time around! Ok, and?”

“Well, that’s it”.

“What?! That’s it?! What did you say to him after that?”

“I was so surprised I couldn’t say anything”, she lets out another “ugh”. “You know Kook and I-”.

“Y/n, please, understand. You and him have nothing. Jungkook’s got a fucking girlfriend”, she cuts you off.

It annoys you a little, you’re not gonna lie. She keeps bringing it back, you know he’s got a girlfriend!

“Joo, I know you don’t understand-”.

“It’s deeper than that, lovey. There’s isn’t much to understand… He has a girlfriend-”.

“Eunjoo, I don’t care!” You cut her short and then, you decide to confess, lowering your voice tone so only Eunjoo could hear you. “He came to see me last night too”.

“Jungkook?” She looks at you confusões. “What did he want?”

“He saw Jin’s post too and got a little jealous”, before you could stop yourself, you let out a giggle and Eunjoo doesn’t follow you. “One thing leading to another, he did something special last night”.

“This something special being?”

“You know he usually doesn’t go down on me, right? He’s not fond of it… But he did last night. It was very meaningful, I think”.

“He, what?!” She asks you shouting in a whisper. “Did you have sex?”

“Yeah?”

“Y/n, he’s got a girlfriend! That’s... Cheating”, she searches for your eyes.

But you just can’t meet hers, you're too scared of finding disappointment in them. You knew it was selfish of you, you knew what you were doing was wrong, but now you’ve finally told Eunjoo… It became real.

And you’ve just realized it makes you feel unease.

“No, it’s not… He was mine first”, you whisper, knowing she will hear you.

“Oh, lovey…” She wailes. “I hate him for doing this to you and I’m sorry for what I’m about to say, but he was never yours”.

“I mean, we’re not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend, but-”

“Exactly, sis, he’s not your boyfriend. He lies to you, he neglects you. He hasn’t ever acted like a boyfriend, by the way, he only does so when he feels threatened… The very fact that he wants to keep seeing you behind your brother’s back, one of his best friends, may I add, is enough of a red flag for me”, she reaches for your hand on the table. The warmth of her hand feels pleasent, but you’re still unable to meet her eyes. “Please, Y/n, don’t let this guy do this to you… You’re not like this”.

“I just… Don’t see this monster you keep talking about”, you finally muster the courage to look at your best friend’s eyes. She looks at you with such tenderness, for the first time in this conversation, you feel your heart sinking. “We have something really special, Joo, I swear to you…”

“Lovey, going down on you doesn’t mean shit! What drives me crazy is that he does the bare minimum, cause he knows you're so deeply wrapped around his finger that he doesn’t even need to try anymore,” she stops for a second, sighing. “Think about it… Why does he make you hide this something special that goes on between you two? You’ve been doing this for over a year… And I swear to you, if you hadn’t gotten emotionally involved, I would never oppose this. But the thing is, you’ve fallen in love with him and he knows it, but he doesn’t care. You can’t fix this and you can’t fix him, you can’t keep on hurting yourself to please him either. This has gone way too long!”

It was a lot to take in, for sure. You couldn’t help but to resent Eunjoo a little right now. She wasn’t wrong, though. That’s the hardest part, you knew she wasn’t wrong. What are you becoming?

You bring both of your hands to your face, trying to ease the tension you feel. It’s true, you've been in this situation for over a year. At first, he told you he didn’t want to rush things, he didn’t want to spoil his friendship with the boys… But it’s been long enough, you two seemed to work just fine. Then, why are you in this situation?

“Let me bring Seokjin up again…” She tries. “One: he’s insanely cute, in fact, if I wasn’t already taken… It’s better if I don’t finish this sentence.” She raises her pointer finger, acknowledging this detail and you laugh faintly. “Two: he’s so into you I sometimes feel bad for him. Three: he’s single. Four: he was approved by your best friend and by your brother. Five: he’s smart, hardworking, and has a brilliant future ahead of him. Six: he’s really done with his ex. He’s the whole fucking package! Give him a chance, Y/n, that’s all I ask. And do this for yourself too, please, let Jungkook go”.

You hear the bell tinkling. It distracts you. You don’t really want to say anything right now, you have a lot to think about.

“I just keep thinking... Look at what Jungkook’s been doing to his girlfriend, imagine what he-”

“If it isn’t two of my favorite people in the world gathering without me”, you instantly recognize Jimin’s voice.

You gulp nervously, hoping that he didn’t hear the mention of Jungkook's name. You turn around to look at him, trying to flash him the warmest smile you could, in hopes of not allowing him to notice the tension between you and Eunjoo. You know she’ll do the same.

“Hi, lovey, we’re just grabbing some coffee. Join us!” She flashes Jimin the warm smile you expected her to.

He pulls a chair from the table right beside yours and places it between you and Eunjoo, sitting on it right after.

“So, what were my two dearest friends talking so passionately about?” He asks as he reaches for both yours and Enjoo’s cheeks, squeezing them.

It has both you and her complaining, making Jimin laugh.

“Just catching up”, you answer as you rub your cheeks. He always does that, the little bastard.

“Alright, so, before you continue, sum it up for me”.

He looks from Eunjoo to you, blinking his small eyes patiently. You’re kind of waiting for Eunjoo to say something, since she was the one who got interrupted by your friend’s arrival. He seems to notice that there’s something off about your vibe.

“You two seemed to be very talkative when I got in here, now you’re all silent... What the fuck are you two hiding?” He squints his eyes at you.

“H-hiding?” You shake your head in fake disbelief. “Park Jimin, why do you always have to assume the worst of people?”

“I don't do that!” He pushes your shoulder playfully, eyebrows furrowed. “And stop trying to get off the subject, I’m not Hoseok”.

“It’s nothing serious, Chim, it’s just that Y/n gets shy”, Eunjoo’s voice interjects. “But there’s a spark between Seokjin and Y/n”. She stops, because she knows Jimin will react. He raises his eyebrows and looks at you surprised. “However, she’s in denial and I, as the matchmaker, can not allow her to think such things”.

“Why am I only hearing about this spark now?” He asks you, crossing his arms in front of his chest, giving you a side-eye.

“Because Eunjoo is delusional, that’s why”, you gesture.

“No, I’m not! Park Jimin-ssi, you know I don’t joke about matchmaking! Remember how much effort I put into introducing you to Jieun?”

“Please, let’s not talk about Jieun… But yes, I do know”.

“Ok, whatever, forget I mentioned her. As I was saying, he brought her dinner last night and they ate it while stargazing… It’s so fucking romantic! And our dear dumb friend here is like we’re just friends” she delivers that in a affected tone, teasing you.

“Oh, Y/n, do not friendzone this guy! Do you hear me? He’s so fucking handsome, you don’t need to marry him, but, please, don’t waste this opportunity”.

“You guys… I also think he’s really cute. I’m not saying I’ll say no, I’m just not there yet, ok?” You look between your two best friends. “I’m still getting to know him. I’ve been living the shittiest moment of my entire life… I need time, that’s all”.

“Makes sense…” Jimin gives you a sympathetic smile, as he pats your head affectionately. “Eunjoo, stop pressuring her!”

“I’m not!”

“You are!” You and Jimin say it simultaneously. “Not that I’m defending you, Y/n, because you don’t deserve my sympathy. You don’t tell me anything anymore!”

The three of you burst out laughing at it. That’s what you’ve missed the most while you were away. Laughing. Feeling at ease. You love these people so much.

“I know, Chim! I feel the same, back in the day, I wouldn’t have to beg her to tell me what’s going on in her life, now I have to make her come and see me”, she complains, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Yeah, whatever you two. Since you two are such drama queens, I might as well just tell you… We’re spending the weekend at his family house in Jeju”, and before they have a chance to say anything, you add. “AS FRIENDS!”

Your best friends exchange glances and look back at you. You squint at them. Both of them had a glint of malice in their eyes, but they were trying their best to hide it from you, probably because they know if they interrupt you, you won’t tell them any details. But they know you know. Jimin nods, encouraging you to continue.

“So, yeah, as friends. And why am I telling you this? I need you to cover for me if Jungkook asks my whereabouts”, Eunjoo looks at you dumbfounded, probably thinking you were about to talk to Jimin about your secret arrangements with Jungkook. “He’s invited me to be his assistant at a project this weekend and I don’t really want to go, so I told him Namjoon and I are gonna go visit our mom’s older sister. It’s all set, I already spoke to my brother, he’s spending the weekend over at his mysterious girlfriend’s place. So, anyway, if he asks...”

“It’s not like a talk to Jungkook when you’re not around anyways”, Eunjoo shrugs, looking from Jimin to you.

One of the best things about Eunjoo is that both yours and hers’ demeanors are extremely similar. You two are really connected, to the point that she knows what you’re thinking and vice versa. You act and think very much like each other, so, in these situations she always knows how to react. Which comes in handy, since you have to lie more often than not to your friends because of your Jungkook situation.

“Why don’t you ask this favour to Taetae?” He asks, saying his own other best friend’s name in an affected way. “Since you two are so close right now”.

“You’re jealous of Taehyung? You’re cute” You laugh, reaching for his own chubby cheeks this time around. “You know you’re my top one, Chim, cut this crap. But seriously, though, can I count on you?”

“Sure, sweetums, I got you covered”, Jimin winks at you. “Ok, can I order? Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?”

“No. But can’t you talk while you drink your coffee?” You ask him, furrowing your brows.

“No, I want to drink my coffee in peace”, Jimin answers you, as he waves to the waitress.

Jimin’s a character. You smile to yourself, as your two best friends engage in some other conversation. You really didn’t pay much attention to it, too involved in your own thoughts. You take a sip of your own coffee, basking in the warm sensation it left on your tongue.

You couldn’t help but to think about Jin. You miss him. Since he left your house yesterday, you hadn’t had the opportunity to catch up on one another. He texted you good night and that’s it. Did you say something you weren’t supposed to? If you did, it means your weekend plans are cancelled, right?

There was only one way to find out.

You [3:19 am]: are u still alive? u have sent me 0 memes since yesterday

jin [3:20 am]:

jin [3:20 am]: there you go

You [3:20 am]: oh jin, this is so bad

You [3:20 am]: but I’m happy to know you’re alive

jin [3:20 am]: yup, alive

jin [3:20 am]: just a lil busy

jin [3:20 am]: i cant die yet im taking you to jeju, remeber?

jin [3:20 am]: so, what’s up?

You [3:20 am]:

You [3:20 am]: coffee with these two

jin [3:20 am]: tell them i said hi

You [3:20 am]: will do

You [3:20 am]: so, how’s work?

You two engage in this conversation via text message, as you listen to Jimin and Eunjoo talking non-stop around you. One of them would certainly complain at some point, but for now, you just wanted to talk to Seokjin. It feels nice. It feels right.

Maybe a little too nice and too right.

Ok, você é brasileira então eu vou falar em português pq meu inglês é realmente uma porcaria e geralmente isso é o que me impede de interagir com as pessoas kkkkk Só queria saber se você está bem. Faz um tempo que não te vejo por aqui (por favor, não sinta que eu estou cobrando interação ou atualização de fic, só sei que a vida as vezes é complicada e nem sempre temos alguém "disponível" para nós ouvir) em resumo: só queria saber se você está bem. Vou mandar isso em anônimo TB pq agora fiquei com vergonha, mas é isso aí kkkk Espero que esteja tudo bem e estou muito ansiosa para o próximo cap de Just say Goodnight n Go.

primeiramente, eu to SUPER feliz de saber que tenho leitores br por aqui 🥺 VAMOS AMIGAR !!!

e em segundo lugar, essa ask realmente fez o meu dia, fiquei super soft de saber que tem gente por aqui tão legal assim. obrigada por perguntar 💜 estou relativamente bem, passei por umas paradas esse ano que me deixaram mais devagar e contemplativa com a vida kkkkkkkk eu estou trabalhando muito e fico sem tempo de escrever tanto quanto eu gostaria, mas eu estou preparando o capt 5 de Just say goodnight n go pra postar amanhã no aniversário do nosso Seokjin 💜💜 espero que vocês gostem, vai ser um capítulo bem fanservice para as Seokjinas kkkkkkkk

espero que você também esteja bem e se cuidando, viu? minha ask está sempre aberta, seja pra falar de fanfics, de BTS ou sobre a vida

for those of you who don't speak Portuguese: chapter 5 of Just say goodnight n go will be out tomorrow, on our boy's birthday 💜 it's gonna be a special one for those readers who are Seokjin utted (like me lol)

I CRACKED UP HARD WITH HIS LMAO HAHAHA and thank you for the support, dearrr 💜 maybe this time around Y/n will open her eyes and see Jungkook's game !! we'll see 👀

just say goodnight n go | chapter 05

pairing ↠ jin x reader, fuckboy!jungkook x reader

genre ↠ college au | love triangle | strangers to lovers | slow burn | fluff, angst, smut | multi-chapter

word count ↠ 7.3k

18+ | warnings ↠ grivieng character and swearing.

summary ↠ when your mother passes away, you go back to your college student life, only to find out the guy you liked (and were friends with benefits with) had a girlfriend now. trying to get over him and your mother’s passing, seokjin, the friend of a friend wants you to give him a chance. will you find your way back to yourself?

A/N  ↠ I'm so happy to finally write this part, I've been thinking about it for months, I just hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it kjsdhakhudahs I did my best to finish it on time so I could post something special on our boy's birthday. things are starting to chance, I reaaaaaally hope you like it and I'm sure if it turns out to be some cheesy stuff. I'm cheesy.

as always, I want to thank @primadonnasdream for helping me and for being my best friend 💜 this would probably look a lot worse if it wasn't for her lol

let me know what you think of this Seokjin's birthday special chapter, your feedback is what drives me to write 💜 and also here’s a playlist for you to listen while you read :)

taglist ♡ @annoyingtimemachinee @bri-mal @yuugehn @mwitsmejk

if you'd like to be add to the taglist, let me know 💜

INDEX ↠ prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

You spent the entire night almost biting your nails off thinking about this pseudo trip you’d go on with Jin. Will it be awkward? Will it be filled with endless hours of uncomfortable silence? What if someone finds out? What if Jungkook finds out? When you think about it, you don’t really know why you agreed on going. To say you feel extremely anxious about this feels like an understatement.

On top of that, Eunjoo’s words kept replaying in your mind the entire night. “You’ve fallen in love with him and he knows it, but he doesn’t care. You can’t fix this and, most importantly, you can’t fix him! You can’t keep on hurting yourself to please him either. This has gone way too long”. Have you and Jungkook really been a “way too long” kind of thing? Are you really messing things up by not letting him go? But then again, he is the one that comes and looks for you in the first place. Why do you have to be the one that feels guilty?

You laid on your bed and zoned out, sinking deep into all of those questions, not really finding satisfying answers to any of them. When you realized the sunlight was already creeping in through the curtains. It was time to get ready to set off, Jin told you he wanted to leave as soon as the Sun rised, since it would take you a considerable amount of time to get there by car and boat.

Namjoon had left to his non-girlfriend last night. Close to the doorknob you’ve found a green post-it and you recognize his handwriting instantly. It said: “Please, text me tomorrow before you leave and then again when you get there. Have fun. Also, be responsible. Love you. PS: if you want to come home earlier call me and I’ll come pick you up - NJ”. You do as he says and you also text Eunjoo and Jimin, so when they wake up, they won’t worry about your whereabouts. Yes, you’re a very thoughtful friend and sister. Your phone vibrates in your hands with an incoming text from Jin.

jin [6:07 am]: here

You [6:07 am]: okie

jin [6:07 am]: ready?

You [6:07 am]: yup

You [6:07 am]: i’ll be downstairs in a second

You double-check if everything’s in order, because living with Kim Namjoon teaches you to never trust blindly on his judgment when it comes to… Well, taking care of things. As you had foreseen, he left his bedroom lights on. Not to mention his room was a mess, but that’s entirely his problem.

With everything in order, you leave.

You see a silver SUV parked right in front of your place. You assume it’s Jin’s car. You had no idea Jin had such a nice car, it surely surprises you. As you get closer, the car windows slide down open and you see an already spirited Seokjin, smiling at you. Even though you are sleepy, it’s hard to resist the urge to smile back at him.

“Good morning, sunshine!” He greets you with a gentle voice. “All set?”

“Morning, Jinie. I’m still a bit sleepy...” You lean on the car door as you speak.

“Yeah, I could tell by the way you walked here”, he laughs. “Let me put your bags in the trunk and we can set off”.

He gets out of the car and comes closer to you. He leans in and kisses your forehead, his plump warm lips like feathertouch against your skin. You had to stop yourself from wrapping your hands around his neck, it was like your body was automatically responding to his touches. You blame your sleepy brain mode, surely. Before you could react to the good morning kiss, his hands were on yours, also warm and gentle, his fingers almost asking you to excuse him, as he took your bags from your grasp.

“You can take your seat, babygirl, this will take less than a second”, he suggests kindly.

You do as he says, too sleepy to offer him your help or anything of that sort. His car is as big inside as it is on the outside, the seats are upholstered with a probably very expensive light brown kind of leather and they were extremely comfortable. Jin left the air conditioning on, so it was pretty cozy inside.

Without much delay, Seokjin was already back on his seat, with the wheel in his hands.

“Uh- So, do you want to listen to some specific kind of music? My phone is here in the center console”, he points with his hand, eyes on the road. “The password is my birthday. One, two, zero, four. Put on whatever you like”.

“Of course not, you’re driving! You have the right to listen to your own music while driving and shotgun has the right to shut their cakehole”.

“Jeez, I’d never call that pretty little mouth of yours of a cakehole”, he answered with a naughty smirk.

It feels like all the blood in your veins head straight towards your cheeks and you feel them burning hot. You are probably looking like a goddman enormous tomato right now. Why does he have to do this to you?

You simply reach for his phone in the console and start exploring his Spotify playlists, almost hiding behind your hands, in hopes of not letting Jin notice you’re blushing like a schoolgirl.

“Oh, Jinie, you do have a car playlist already, this one is fine by me”, you try.

“Yeah, this is 80% Yoongs’ picks, but it’s good. He’s got good taste. But I want you to feel comfortable to change it if you don't feel like listening to them, ok?” He glances over to you, with a reassuring expression.

Honestly, this guy...

“It’s ok, my brother never allows me to touch the radio when he’s driving”, you press play and Allergic by Post Malone starts. “This one’s good”.

You look out the window, contemplating the meek morning sunlight bathing the city in shades of golden. You’re not the fall’s biggest enthusiast, but even you had to admit that very few things in the world could top fall mornings. Maybe only the night starry sky in the summer and a very pleasing winter afternoon.

You look over to Seokjin and see that the sun is also painting his features in a golden tone. You notice his almost white hair looks even more striking in this light, as if his locks were made out of the purest gold on this Earth. He distractedly hums along with the song, tapping his fingers lightly against the wheel. Being with him was so easy, his presence somehow has a magical aura that makes you feel automatically relaxed and safe.

You realize that all of the worries that kept you awake last night were extremely silly. There was no way this weekend was going to be anything less than perfect.

“Do you, uh- mind if I take a nap?”

“Of course not, babygirl! There’s a pillow in the backseat, d’ya want it?”

You look behind your seat and see it along with his backpack and a folded baby blue blanket.

“I brought it for you”, he hesitates. “In case you got cold or something”.

It was for you. He brought it for you. In case you wanted to nap and in case you got cold. Wow. You don’t know what to say. This is the type of thing absolutely no one thinks about before a road trip. But he did. He thought about it. He thought about your needs. He didn't even ask. He just did it.

“Wow! Thanks, Jinie… I don't know what to say. That’s so sweet”.

“Nah! It’s nothing”, he states, with a soft laugh and you notice his ear getting a soft reddish tone.

But you know it is. Something in your chest feels funny again. You try to ignore it, reaching for the pillow in the backseat, but the only thing on your mind right now was Seokjin.

Seokjin.

Seokjin.

You knew it was no use trying to pretend otherwise. You closed your eyes and allowed the tiredness from a sleepless night to take over you. And of course, when you finally drift off to sleep, you dream about him.

Opulent. That's the first word that comes to your mind when you walk into the Kim’s beach house. It’s a two-story house, built in the most modern style you have ever seen. It literally looked like a celebrity house, just like the ones you see in magazines. You stood at the large living room in awe, as you looked at the very luxurious surroundings. The afternoon sunlight kissed gently the furniture, creeping in through the glass walls that adorned the ambient. You could hardly believe your eyes when you saw it. You had to control yourself, so you wouldn’t give away to Seokjin that you were completely shocked by how amazing the place is. You knew his family had a pretty comfortable life, but you had no idea how comfortable their lives really were and judging by their beach house, they’re really rich. Not that you’re jealous, good for them, but damn.

Seokjin was the perfect host, by the way. He makes you feel so welcomed and at home, you didn’t even have the opportunity to feel uncomfortable. As soon as you set foot to the door, he was beside himself trying to make you feel snug.

He gave you a house tour, in which he showed you every part of the house. The house has six bedrooms upstairs and they all had the same modern vibe as the rest of the rooms, except for one, that was his parent’s bedroom, this one was like one of those presidencial suits from 5-star hotels you see in American movies.

Honestly, you were obsessed with the glass walls, they added such a sophisticated touch to the place. All you could think about now was how much money you’d have to earn a month to be able to live in one of those. You’d probably have to be the next Quentin Tarantino for that, but that’s the dream anyway. It was indeed the most beautiful house you’ve ever seen in your life. If this is the Kim’s beach house, imagine what their actual house looks like.

Jin insisted you chose the room with a view of the ocean and he got the one right beside yours. He told you to put on your bikini and go straight to the house’s backyard while he’d go to the supermarket to buy the ingredients for him to cook you dinner. Of course, he didn’t let you join him and left unannounced while you were unpacking upstairs, probably to avoid your temper, because you’d surely insist on going with him. Without much choice, you did as he told you.

The house’s backyard is one of those that leads you straight to the beach sand, where a couple of sun loungers were placed. As you lay on the outdoor furniture, sunbathing and listening to the therapeutic sounds of the waves, pushing and pulling, you feel your body finally relaxing and you bask in this sensation. Breathing in and out, taking in the delicious scent of the salted sea water. You didn’t dare open your eyes, not because you were sleepy or too affected by the sunlight, you were just allowing yourself to enjoy your own company. Not distracting yourself with some silly shit online, you were just truly enjoying a little bit of idleness. Peace.

You feel your phone vibrating between your legs and you see Eunjoo is finally up. Apparently, you were going to distract yourself with silly online stuff, after all.

joo 💛 [4:12 pm]: heyyy, how are things?

joo 💛 [4:12 pm]: i just woke up 🙊

You [4:12 pm]: hey, bitch

You [4:12 pm]: DID YOU JUST WAKE UP? it’s 4 in the afternon !!

You [4:12 pm]: busy night? 🌝

joo 💛 [4:12 pm]: 🌚

You [4:12 pm]: and yeah it’s fine

You [4:13 pm]: there’s only one problem tho

joo 💛 [4:13 pm]: what?

You [4:13 pm]: apparently JIN’S A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE CHOI EUNJOO HOW COME YOU DONT MENTION SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND????????

joo 💛 [4:13 pm]: HAHAHAHA

joo 💛 [4:13 pm]: can I call you rn or is he around?

You [4:13 pm]: he’s out

As soon as you’ve sent the last text, she’s calling you and you answer right away.

“Yeah, so… He’s rich”, she states on the other end.

“Rich? He’s a fucking millionaire, Choi Eunjoo! I feel like my clothes are not good enough to be inside of this fucking mansion”, you hiss back at her.

“You’re so fucking dramatic, Y/n, jeez... First of all, no he’s not a millionaire, they are just rich. We’re fucking poor, that’s why we get so impressed. And second, I’m sure he’d prefer to have you there without clothes, anyway, so-”.

“Eunjoo!” You laugh and she joins you.

“Chill, Y/n. For real! Live a little, you’re at the beach mansion of a hot, cute, intelligente, funny and single guy who’s almost begging you for a chance. Like, come on! What else do you want from life?”

“I’ve just met him, woman… What do you expect me to do? To jump his bones in the middle of all this?”

“Of all this what?”

“You know what”.

She knows you meant Jungkook. You hear her sighing and she continues.

“FYI, I’ve seen a box of extra large condoms at his side of the dorm once, so joke’s on you”.

“CHOI EUNJOO!”

“I’m rolling my eyes very hard at you right now with this moralism of yours, Y/n, just so you know”, she dismisses you.

“Yeah, whatever... I need to tell you something”, you cut her.

“Holy mother of Jesus, I’m already nervous”, she quakes. “Go ahead!”

“I mean, it’s not that important. It’s just- He had a pillow and a blanket on the backseat of his car this morning, in case I got sleepy or cold during the car trip”, you tell your best friend, not being able to hide the endearment note in your voice.

She squeaks on the other end.

“And what do you think of it?” She asks you with a surprisingly neutral tone, but you can almost hear her smile through the phone.

“It was one of the kindest, sweetest gestures-”, you interrupt yourself mid-sentence when you hear the sound of turning keys coming from the entrance door. “Oh, Jin’s here, gotta go. Bye”. You hang up before Eunjoo had the chance to say anything more.

He opens the door and you see his face lightening up when he finds you seated at the sun lounger from across the gigantic living room, but then you feel his eyes on you, travelling up and down your body, you realize it’s the first time he sees you in a bikini. You get a little awkward, but there’s isn’t much you can do now.

“Hey, babygirl, can you give me a hand?”

You feel his gaze lingering on you, as you reach for your jeans shorts and quickly put them on.

“Sure, with what?”, you say as you walk towards him.

He hands you a relatively full shopping bag and you see there’s another two in his other hand. You knew if he went to the supermarket by himself he’d end up buying food enough to feed an army.

Now that you’re standing next to him, you see his neck and ears are blushed, did he sunbathe on his way back or something? You hope so, because if not, it might mean the blushing is related to you and the fact that you’re in swimwear right now and you honestly don't know what you’d make of it.

“Hey, have you been sunbathing on your way here?” You ask, hoping you’re not jumping to conclusions.

“Sunbathing?” He returns the question with a confused look. “No, why?”

“Your neck looks redder than usual”.

“Oh, my neck? Uh- That’s noth- Uh, Is this too heavy?” He motions forward, trying to reach for the shopping bags in an effort to make you drop the subject. His answer has you mildly week on your knees. “Gimme that, I don’t know why I bothered you with-”

“Seokjin, this is why I go to the gym, ok? Don’t worry”, you state, allowing him to actually drop the subject, having confirmed your suspicions.

“To carry heavy shopping bags? Wow, that’s unusual”, you notice the teasing in his voice, in another attempt to divert your attention from his blushing.

“That’s the dream”, you say as you turn around, heading towards the kitchen. He laughs a little exaggeratedly.

You didn’t count on having a step on the entrance of the kitchen. When you noticed the thing was there, it was a little too late, for you were already on your way to the ground. You were able to stop yourself from falling flat on your face, but the products inside the shopping bag were all over the kitchen floor now. A burning pain takes over your toe and you curse out loud. Jin follows you to the kitchen, clearly trying to control himself so he wouldn't crack up to your face.

“Are you-”, he asks as he suppresses a grin. You feel humiliated, those damned clumsy Kim genes. “Sorry. Are you ok?”

You breathe in and out before you can reply. You were probably flushing hard right now.

“I’m fine, thank you”, you grunt as you stretch yourself to pick the shoyu sauce bottle that rolled further away from you, toe still hurting.

“You’re as clumsy as your brother, huh?” He asks all simley and you furrow your brows as soon as the words hit your ears.

“What do you mean?” You inquire, as you squat in order to gather Jin’s groceries. “How do you know my brother is clumsy? Have you met him before?”

“Oh… Yes”, he trembles, placing the bags on the kitchen counter. “I thought he would have told you by now”.

“Well, now I’m curious”, you look at him, still collecting the groceries on the floor. “He would have told me what?”

“It’s nothing shocking, I was a member of the frat for a while…”

“Really? I had no idea! This is why Namjoon likes you, huh?” You squint and he shoots your way a half smile, you notice he’s still a little blushed. “I should have known, he doesn’t warm up to people so fast…”

He also squats, helping you with the last itens.

“He does?” He asks you, in a soft tone.

“Can’t you tell?”

“I mean… I thought he was just nice”, he stands up and reaches out for your hand. You take it and he helps you to get back on your feet. You can tell he’s trying not to look at you so much. “I remember he was always very charismatic, no wonder he became the leader of the frat. But I thought he was just being nice to me since you and I have become close”.

“He and Enjoo are on a secret mission to make sure we become a couple”, you laugh.

He smirks and you feel the silliest human being on Earth. Stupid fucking Y/n. You get so fucked up around him that you feel like your social filter stops working, how can you just say something like that, so casually? You know he’s into you. But you have Jungkook, you can’t just flirt with Jin like this. This is not ok, you have to stop.

“Yeah?” he lets out a soft chuckle, still sounding a little off. “But this is fine, babygirl, I’m happy to be your friend… For now”.

He almost whispers the last part. It feels weird, because this idea is starting to sound much more pleasing than it should. You feel your cheeks burning hot and the need to go off this subject is huge.

“So, uh- Tell me more about you being a frat boy!” You say whatever comes to your mind. “What happened? You’d be a hyung now if you had stayed, probably the leader, instead of Namjoon, right?”

“Sure… But can we sit? Do you want something to drink? We have Milkis”, he offers as he opens the fridge.

“Sure”, you answer, heading towards the gray velvety sofa.

He joins you, sitting right next to you and handing you the open can of Milkis.

“Woah, strawberry? It’s my favorite! How come you know that?!”

“It’s my favorite too, I guess we’re in synch”, he blinks twice, a habit he has and you honestly think it’s so freaking cute.

“I guess we are… Anyways, tell me, tell me!” You take a sip from the can and feel the sweet taste of your favorite soda.

He’s still trying not to stare, you notice his ears blushing again, but this time around you suspect you’re blushing as well. You notice the dark in his eyes deepening as he has his gaze upon you, trying to focus on your face. This is a new side of Seokjin you’ve never seen before. You are enjoying this… Why are you enjoying this? You’re supposed to be just friends.

“Uh- Ok. So, yeah, I was a member, it was nice, honestly. I liked my hyungs as well, I don’t think you’ve had the opportunity to meet them…” he trails off and you shake your head negatively. “I thought so, anyway… You know I’ve had a complicated relationship with my ex. Before we started dating for real, it was nice, but she got really jealous of this whole fraternity thing, she wasn’t a fan of the other guys as well, she thought they were kind of a bad influence, like, they were living their lives as single men and she thought I’d want to do the same, even though I liked her and I was pretty happy with my relationship status at the time. We had major fights about this. Then, I slowly stopped showing up at the parties, I started to spend more time at her house and I ended up drifting apart from the guys and she seemed happier when I wasn’t around them. So I left. For her”.

“I’m under the impression she’s a total bitch, pardon my French!” You declare and there he goes with his larger than life laughter. Against all odds, you liked it a little too much when he laughed and you realized you could listen to it for hours. “Seriously! I swear to you, I’m a feminist, but… Wow”.

“It was a very complicated relationship, I can tell you that. And to top that, I was completely whipped, so… To sum it up, I did everything she wanted, I was a total suck-up”, he pouts, as he lowered his gaze to the white can in his hands.

“Hey, don’t say that”, you push his large shoulder lightly and he barely moves. “You can’t blame yourself for loving someone, you know? Have you seen ‘Call me by your name’? It’s a mediocre movie, if you ask me, but there’s this one scene in which a character says something like how we try to be cured of heartaches by trying to block the pain and it turns us into robots, because instead of seeking happiness all the time, it’s important for us to process the pain. That’s part of maturing. This one scene made this movie worth it”, he has his eyes on your lips, paying close attention to your words. “It’s so strong and so real. We blame ourselves for living and feeling, loving, hating and that’s not fair. I know bad experiences are stuff we don’t want to go through… Of course, but they make us who we are. So if I got lucky to meet this amazing Jin from the present, the Jin from the past had to go through what he went through”.

He wets his lips and you see a half smile appearing on his plump lips, as one corner of his mouth lifts up. He leans in and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. You feel your skin burning where he touched, you both look into each other's eyes, his gaze is so intensely set on your face, you feel it burning hot. You look down and take a very nervous sip of your strawberry-flavored beverage. What the hell is happening? Why do you feel weird?

“You know what’s funny? I did try to do that, you know? I tried to block out my feelings, I told Yoongs I wouldn’t date anyone ever again, and that I’d never put myself out there again, but I’ve failed miserably”, he snorts, smile still hanging on his lips. “When I met you, I don’t know, it’s like something clicked”.

Something burns inside of you, yet again, the same, and now, familiar sensation. The one you get only in Jin’s presence. You’re nervous, he’s staring and you can’t focus on anything other than his pinkish, plumpy lips and the way he pouts when he speaks without even realizing how cute he is.

“Don’t say these things, Jinie…” Is all you manage to say.

“This is not me insisting, ok? I’m just being honest, since we’re talking about it…” He asks, wetting his lips again. Was he trying to send you signs? Are you crazy? Maybe you are. “ I have no reason to lie”.

Another smirk on his lips and you’re done for. Fuck it.

Before you could even think, you lean in and press your lips to his. Finally feeling the warmth of his plumpy and velvety lips against yours, realizing you’ve been craving this sensation much more than you’ve thought you would. You close your eyes, so you don’t know if he did the same. He doesn’t freeze or get tense in any way that you can trace, he actually gives in, but you pull away. Desperately embarrassed.

As you open your eyes, you see he’s looking at you with endearment stamped all over his face. You can’t really name it, but this warm, overwhelming thing is weighing in your chest. Is this how you’re supposed to feel when you kiss someone? This is probably a physical sensation of shame, right? Just like when you’re anxious and you get stomachache or something.

There’s a hint of a smile on his lips. You part your lips, in an attempt to apologize for your impulsive act, but before you could say anything, he had his lips back upon your own, much more avid than when you took him by surprise, as if he was claiming them for himself. Oh my, he wants this too. You slip your tongue between his lips, not wasting any time on asking for his permission.

It felt like returning home after a very long and exhausting time away kind of kiss. He tucked his hand in your hair and gripped it firmly on the base of your scalp, leaving you gasping for air. You couldn’t really think straight, you feel inebriated as he kisses you passionately, as you bask in this strawberry-flavored kiss. Your hands travel up his body, you feel his sculpted abs, it’s like you’re hungry for him. You don’t understand where this is coming from, it’s overwhelming. His hands travel down your body from your hair to your waist, where he applies a good pressure on, making you want more of his hands on you.

Then, he pulls away. You’re both breathless, but you’re the only one that has a confused look on your face. What just happened? Why did he pull away? Did I do something wrong? Jin gulps loudly and gets on his feet, his hands travel anxiously from his blonde hair to his neck as he adjusts himself in his pants.

“Uh- So, what do you think... jeyuk bokkeum for dinner?” He asks you, heading towards the kitchen, as if nothing’s happened. “I need to put the groceries away, some of these things need to be in the fridge”.

You’re still processing what just happened, so you take longer than you should to muster an intelligible answer in your confused brain.

“Yeah- Uh, jeyuk bokkeum is fine, thanks”.

You sit there dumbfounded, as he runs his errands in the kitchen, completely unbothered by the fact that the two of you kissed.

You kissed him and then he kissed you. Not as “you kissed each other”, that too, but both of you had started kisses. You kissed him while you were in a fucking bikini. You liked it. You don’t really know what to do now, you honestly feel like a teenager after their first kiss or something and Seokjin was nonchalantly humming an unidentified song as he put the fucking groceries away.

“Can I help you with anything?” You ask anxiously.

“No, I got it, babygirl”, he glances your way, smiling at you gently.

“Jinie, Uh- Do you mind if I hit the shower while you’re at it?”

“Of course not”, he answers, dividing his attention between you and the products inside the last shopping bag.

“Be right back”.

You turn around, letting go of air you didn’t realize you had been holding. You can’t stop thinking about what happened, you just knew this familiar, but completely new kind of feeling was a bit too much to handle, maybe you’d forget all about it over a hot shower.

Hot shower or no hot shower, you simply could not stop thinking about the kiss. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t worried about how you’d behave in his presence, but it wasn’t even the most important thing in your mind right now. You feel so weird after this kiss, you don’t even know how to explain. You just know it feels like he’s taken over your mind.

You don’t want to talk about this with Eunjoo or Namjoon right now, because you know they will not stop teasing you. But, fortunately, you have Jimin.

You type a quick hello and wait less than a minute for his reply, the boy’s indeed always online.

chim chim 🐥 [5:12 pm]: sup sweetums

You [5:12 pm]: chim i did something

You [5:12 pm]: chim i kissed the guy !!!!!!!!

You [5:12 pm]: seokjin and i kissed !!!!!!!!!!!! i’m nervous

chim chim 🐥 [5:13 pm]: IT WOULD HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER LOL

You [5:13 pm]: ok but what do i do now i’m nervous

You [5:13 pm]: he suddenly pulled away and started acting like nothing happened now i don’t know what to do !!!

chim chim 🐥 [5:13 pm]: you should do the same lol how old are u? 14?

You [5:14 pm]: ouch

chim chim 🐥 [5:14 pm]: love youuu enjoy the weekend

It was just a kiss, it wasn’t that big of a deal… Right? Yes, Y/n, get it together.

Well, maybe Jimin’s right. Maybe you should act normal. Some friends do that, don’t they? I mean, look at you and Jungkook. Of course, you developed feelings somewhere along the way, but Jin’s different. You are really just friends. Even if how he acted meant he’s given up on waiting for you, it’s fine, right? You didn’t even know if you could answer his feelings, so you had nothing to worry about.

But why does it feel like something’s off?

With this question in mind, you decide to follow Jimin’s advice. You are friends, there’s no fucking thing to worry about, you’re just overthinking. You decide to head downstairs and you find Jin seated on the sofa, scrolling on his cell. In front of him there was a bottle of soju, a beer can and two glasses, you could see he had already started drinking, his glass was half empty.

You try to channel your inner Park Jimin and in order to sound chill, you decide to say something in a playful tone. After opening and closing your mouth five times in the spare of a second, you try.

“Can’t believe you started off without me, Kim Seokjin-ssi!” Being the scaredy cat he is, he places a hand on his chest as your voice startles him.

“My god! You’ve almost killed me…” He declares, laughing lightly. “Why do you insist on not using honorifics? You should call me Seokjin-oppa, you know?”

He taps on the sofa, inviting you to sit by his side. He doesn’t sound uncomfortable or nervous. Ok, this is a good sign. You two are friends, nothing’s wrong, things are back to normal. You roll your eyes, pretending you weren’t almost running away from this house on foot and do as he says.

“Do you want some?” He asks, pointing to the beverages in front of you.

You notice a hesitant note to his voice. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is gonna be so awkward. At least, if you drink enough, you can call it a night early and go straight to bed, you’d be leaving tomorrow afternoon anyways, so the only thing you had to do would be faking a morning hangover and sooner than you knew, you’d be heading back to Seoul.

“Please”, you hold your glass as he mixes your somaek.

“Only if you call me oppa”, a devious smirk appears on his lips.

“Fuck off, I’m not calling you oppa! The thought of it makes me cringe”

“Oh, come on! I’m an old, traditional man who’s not used to modern ways of addressing older people, that’s all…”

You reach out for the glass, but he dodges you easily. You try again and he dodges you easily once more. He bursts out laughing, the same boisterous laughter as always.

“Jinie! Come on!” You protest loudly.

“Just ask me nicely and it’s yours”.

“Please, can you give me my somaek?” You grunted.

“Ok, you’re almost there, babygirl”, he rejoiced, still holding your glass away from your reach.

“No”, you fume, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Alright, then, then this one’s mine too”, he adds, taking your glass to his mouth, taking a small sip of it.

“Jin!” You exclaim louder and he raises his brows, looking at you in the eye. “Please, give me my drink”.

“Call me oppa and it’s yours, babygirl”, he smirks again, a cocky expression plastered on his face.

You snort. You want that fucking somaek.

“Please, Seokjin-oppa, give me my freaking glass”, you hiss, but give in anyways.

You notice he’s eyes lingering on your lips again. You instantly get flashbacks from earlier today. You started to get nervous all over again, what if he decides to try kissing you a second time? You know you wouldn’t say no, because you want it.

“Here, babygirl”, he simply beams and hands you the glass of somaek. “So, did it hurt?”

“Yes, but what wouldn’t I do for some alcohol, right?” He chuckles and you get a bit skittish. His smiles are a bit hard to deal with. So, rattling mode on. “Hey! What about our jeyuk bokkeum? Doesn’t it take a little while to prepare it?”

“It does”, he states nonchalantly, drinking from his cup this time around.

“Then why are you here drinking somaek as if you’re the king of the world? You promised me you’d cook for me!” You say after gulping from your glass, instantly feeling a little less tense.

Thank you, alcohol.

“I know what I’m doing, Y/n, don’t worry… The pork is marinating, the rice is cooked, and for your information, alcohol works up your appetite, so I’m in full chef mode over here”.

“Oh, sorry, chef Kim”, you shrug, gulping from your glass once more.

You start to feel the effects of the somaek in you and you feel way more relaxed than when you first sat by his side. It made everything much easier, even when his gaze lingered on you for a while longer than it should.

“Jinie, do you have any plans for Halloween?”

He mulls over your question for a second.

“Not really, why?” He asks, blinking cutely, the same way he did earlier today.

It’s hard to concentrate on what you’re saying sometimes when you’re around Seokjin.

“Uh- There’ll be a party at the guys’ frat, do you wanna come? I mean, I know it’s not really my party, but yeah, I’m inviting you… Do you wanna come?”

“Oh”, his face kind of lights up with your invitation. “Of course, I’ll be there! Man… It’s been awhile since the last time I’ve been to a frat party, I hope I still know how to behave in one of those”.

“Of course you do, Jin. And I’ll be there, if you feel awkward, just come and look for me”.

“Won’t Jeon Jungkook-ssi get mad if I do that?” He cocks one of his brows.

Your eyes widen when you listen to his name. You haven’t really thought of him since you kissed Seokjin and you don’t really know what to make of it. You don’t really understand what’s happening and on top of that, you’re not really sure if Jin rejected you or if he had another reason to pull away from that kiss. Besides, Jin didn’t really know you and Jungkook still see each other, so you didn’t have to admit that to anyone but Eunjoo.

“Why would he be mad? I’ve told you we’re friends… It’s over between us”, you try.

“You don’t have to- Uh, lie to me”, he states, leaning back on the back of the big, gray sofa. “You can tell me the truth, ok? I swear there’ll be no hard feelings or any type of judgement from me”.

You nervously down your drink and fixate your eyes on him, trying to find any trace of dubious intentions, but you’ve found none. You feel slightly dizzy due to the fact you’ve finished your somaek way faster than you should have.

“Actually, I won’t be answering any of your questions related to Jungkook, forget Jungkook, I don’t want to talk about him. I wanna ask you something”, you protested, looking him in the eyes. He leans in, encouraging you to continue. “Why did you”, you poke him on the chest, “pull away from me?”

His eyes widen at your question and you’re trying to focus on something other than his plumpy lips and your tipsy mind is striving to keep away the memories of how it felt when you had them on yours.

“Don’t think that I didn’t want-”, he closes his eyes and sighs. “To kiss you, ok? I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. One of the only things I’ve been thinking about lately, by the way, I just-”

“Are you into someone else? If you’re it’s ok, I unders-”

“No, it’s not that, babygirl…” His voice trails off and one of his hands travels to yours, where his thumb rubs a gentle circle on its back. “It’s just that I don’t want to make your life even more complicated. I know you’ve been through some shit lately, your mom, your situation with Jungkook-ssi, it’s a lot. I know that. So, I don’t wanna be the person who adds any more pressure, you know?”

You don’t really know what to say, you just nod.

“If when you sort things out, you see how great of a catch I am, then, I’ll be thrilled and I’ll be ready to kiss you as much as you want me to. And also I don’t want this to happen like this, just sex and then we’re back to being friends. I don’t want only half of you, I want much more than this and, honestly, it didn’t help that you were in a fucking bikini, you know? It was either pulling away at that moment or…” He cocks his head to the side as his voice trails off.

Thank god you’ve had the drink or else you’d be flustered. Not that you’re not completely speechless right now, but you’re more surprised than embarrassed. It’s totally new to you having someone actually who likes you for you. No ulterior motive. You don’t know what to say and you don’t know what to do now.

So, you decide to do exactly what any mature person would do, you pour yourself a soju shot and down it in one gulp. Jin’s looking at you with his mouth gaping, but you see the corner of his mouth turning upwards and it feels like he’s lightening up the whole room with it.

“This is why I pulled away… Not because I didn’t want to kiss you, but because I want much more than that”.

Then, his phone goes off.

“Oh, the pork’s ready”, he gets on his feet and heads towards the kitchen. “Do you wanna help?”

“Not unless you need me”, you answer honestly.

“It’s ok, I got it”, he answers. “Hey, look over there”.

He points to the back glass door that leads to the beach sand, it’s almost sunset time and you notice there are already shades of pink and purple in the sky. It doesn’t matter how many times you get to experience a sunset at the beach, this view always manages to take your breath away. Jin already knew that about you and apart from your brother, he seems to be the only one who really gets how much you adore looking at the sky. Your phone vibrates in your front pocket and takes your attention away from the ethereal view.

taetae [6:10 pm]: i just wanna let you know jimin is telling jk and his gf how much he hates the fly ~

taetae [6:10 pm]: and that you MADE him sit through a 35th screening anniversary of it and he hated it

You [6:10 pm]: lol he’s got a lousy taste in movies anyway ~

taetae [6:10 pm]: i told him you said that and he asked me to tell you to f**k off

You [6:10 pm]: hahahahaha 💁‍♀️

You [6:11 pm]: are you guys out for drinks or sth?

taetae [6:11 pm]: nope, we’re home

taetae [6:11 pm]: why?

You [6:11 pm]: just curious, taetae, have fun 💛

So, the boys are with Jungkook and his girlfriend. It means she’s becoming a part of the group as well and it would be only a matter of time until you met her. And as odd as it seems, you can’t really feel sad about it, you feel like it’s past the time the two of you met, actually. It feels like something really changed in you, you’re not really able to name it, but something seems very different. You and Jungkook needed to put an end to this. You needed to move on. Maybe it was the guilt speaking right now, because you know you are also to blame in this situation, you know you’re Jungkook’s accomplice. Deep down, you know it all.

Yeah, maybe it was guilt.

Or maybe, just maybe your drunk ass was opening up to the possibility that it was due to the fact that this certain blond-haired guy was winning your heart, a little bit in each passing day. Leaving no space left for Jungkook and his complicated conditions anymore. Maybe tomorrow, when you wake up sober, you won’t be able to admit it, but right now, you are almost sure.

Your phone vibrates again and this time around you almost ignore it, you just felt like you couldn’t take your eyes off of Seokjin. You didn’t want to. He looks divine, he is wearing a black cap and he had a white long-sleeved shirt, sleeves rolled-up, since he’s cooking. He’s pouting and his brows are furrowed, he’s deeply focused on whatever it is he’s doing right now. He’s indeed endearing.

Truthfully, you should have ignored the person texting, because this one text was able to make you feel frantic for the rest of the weekend.

kookie [6:17 pm]: hi babe, a little bird told me you and prince charming are in jeju island having the perfect weekend getaway

kookie [6:17 pm]: hope you’re having fun (:

hi i’m the anon that requested ! thanks so much, i loved it 🤍🤍🤍🤍 !!!

I'm happy to hear that, anon (:

Hiiii I love everything you create so much. Could I be added to a permanent taglist if you have one?

hiii, Castor 💜💜 thank you so much, you truly made my day with this 🥰 I didn't have a permanent taglist, but I do now hahahaha

thankkk you, bestie !!

warmth | KSJ

pairing ↠ husband!jin x reader

genre ↠ established relationship | smut | fluff

word count ↠ 1.1k

18+ | warnings ↠ cockwarming, language.

summary ↠ your husband seeks your attention after a long day of work.

A/N ↠ I'm sorry everyone I just got obsessed with this idea and >I HAD< to write it ok I AM SORRY ~ even tho I'M FLUSTERED feedback is always appreciated, yall 💜

permanent taglist ↠ @goldenhoney-cas

“Jagiya”, you hear your husband’s voice whispering in your ear softly, as he shakes your shoulder in a lightfeather touch, waking you up tenderly. “I’m home”.

You squeeze your eyes and open them slowly, still trying to adjust to the dim light coming from the bedside lamp near you. Seokjin has the habit of turning it on whenever he walks into the bedroom, so you’re used to having them on. Unfortunately, you’re also used to falling asleep while you wait for your husband to come back from work. Not that you were complaining, this promotion was his biggest professional achievement and you’re very proud of him for accomplishing it and, to be honest, being married to a CEO had silver linings as well, but most of the time you just missed him.

“What time is it, love?” You ask, still a bit dazed from having just been awakened.

“It’s past two am”, he answers right away, probably having just checked it himself.

“My god… This late, babe?”

“All thanks to the eight hour time difference, jagi… And the meeting went on forever. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t cut them off. I'm trying to convince them to invest in our company, after all. I’m sorry”, he coos, as he towel-dries his black locks, looking at you with a guilty expression. “I couldn’t wait for that shit to be over so I could come home and enjoy a nice home cooked meal prepared by my jagi…”

“It’s ok, babe, it’s your job… Come here, the least you can do for me now is being the big spoon”, you whine, not completely awake yet, arms extended in his direction making grabby hands. “I missed you, Jinie”.

Your husband tosses the towel on the floor as a smirk appears on his plump lips and as soon as you know, he’s got his body pressed onto yours from behind, arms around your waist as he nuzzles his face at the crook of your neck.

“I missed you too, jagi”, he whispers, holding you tighter and you can already feel him semi-hard against the warm flash of your ass. “Why do you do this to me?”

“What, babe?”

“Why do you have to sleep wearing my shirt and the fucking tiniest piece of lingerie you own?” He groans against the sensitive flash of your neck. “You know it drives me fucking crazy, don’t you? Now I’m hard… How am I supposed to sleep like this?”

“Oh, babe, not today… I’m really tired, Jinie. I’m sorry”, you whine, pouting, which only makes your husband even more turned on. “I promise I’ll be good to you tomorrow, but right now, I just need to get some sleep”.

In all honesty, it was really hard saying no to your husband, specially because after you’ve felt his arousal, you could already start to feel the familiar sense of wetness between your legs. But you’ve had a long day too, you went to work too, you got stressed there too, came back home, prepared a full course meal and had to eat all by yourself, because of Seokjin’s endless meeting. You didn’t complain, after all, you know it’s part of his job. You’ve fallen asleep while scrolling through your feed, even though you tried waiting for him awake. You try not to stress too much about it. You know he’s as madly in love with you as you are with him, but you allow yourself to sulk a little from time to time.

Seokjin gets silent for a while, but then, after letting out a noisy breath, Seokjin plants a kiss on your cheek, humming in agreement with your pleading.

“Of course, baby. I’m sorry that I woke you up, it’s just that… I really miss you”, he whines, his hot breath fanning against your skin.

You shake your head negatively, dismissing his apologies. Nestling against your husband's warmth, you close your eyes, taking in his scent and allowing your body to completely relax in his arms.

“Baby, do you know what would help me fall asleep?” He whispers hesitantly against your ear.

“What?”

“Being inside of you”.

You simply nod at him and he bites softly the skin of your neck, which has you biting your own lips in order to stop a moan to escape. He knows your body too well, he knows exactly where to find your weak points. He knows what he’s doing. Since the first time you tried cockwarming, it became one of his favorite things in the world and you have to admit you enjoy it quite as much. Not only did you find it extremely hot, but simply feeling him inside of you, warming himself up between your legs was also an act that highlights how intimate you and your husband are and you simply love it. You two enjoy it a lot more than you should.

He slides your panties to the side and inserts a digit between your slightly wet folds. “Oh fuck, I can’t believe you’re wet for me already, jagi”, he breathes faintly.

“You were the o-one humping me five minutes ago, Seokjin… What did you expect?” You concentrate on not choking on your words as he bends his finger inside of you.

“Then there’s no need for me to stretch you out then, right?” You shake your head no. “Then spread your legs for me just a bit, babe”.

He licks his fingers and honestly, you need to make indiscriminate use of your self control at this point. You do as he asks you, giving him space to adjust his hips and push himself slowly inside of you. After two years of marriage, you already had enough time to get used to his length, but he is always very careful not to hurt you at first. Both of you let out shaky breaths when he’s accommodating inside of you, your husband fighting the urge to thrust into you and you fighting the urge to ride him.

“Oh, babe- I love being inside of you”, he squeezes your uncovered ass with his large hands. “I’m gonna make sure I get home early tomorrow night, so I can fuck you properly”.

“You better…”

He wraps his arms around your waist again, snuggling against your body, both basking in the glorious sensation of him being inside of you. After the long day you’ve had, all you could ask for was ending it by sharing a cozy, intimate moment with the man you love. Between some love confessions and a good number of pecks on your neck, you drifted off to a sound sleep in the arms of your husband.

I feel sooooo happy to see my Warmth included in a fic rec list 🥰🥰 I'll make sure to read the other ones as soon as I can!! I'm so happy to see authors putting up more of their works including my bias 🥰

Thank uuu for taking the time to make the list, dear!

Seokjin Drabbles (VIII)

* s - contains smut

Unmasked by @luffles424 s established relationship, PWP Summary: Seokjin wants to surprise you with his “sexy” Halloween costume. His costume for you might just be even more surprising though.

[drabble] by @bonvoyagenoona s established relationship Summary: Just a lazy day in bed. Based on aforementioned dream.

Warmth by @seokjins-luigi s established relationship Summary: Your husband seeks your attention after a long day of work.

Messy by @sunshinerainbowsbts s brother’s best friend Summary: Your brother’s best friend Jin is crashing on your couch. Things get messy.

[drabble] by @parkdatjimin carwash au

04:57 PM by @wtf-yoongi established relationship Summary: “Can I come over tonight?”

04:12 PM by @wtf-yoongi established relationship Summary: “I’m glad I’ve found someone as annoying as I am.”

11:58 PM by @wtf-yoongi established relationship Summary: “You want to play?”

He Lays Down On Your Chest by @blu-joons established relationship

Delicate by @minimonojoon angst, FWB Summary: “Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you’re mine, all the damn time.”

A Dozen Tulips by @writtenwhalien established relationship Summary: It’s been one year since you married the love of your life, and every day he makes you fall in love with him a little more.

Holding their hands when they are shaking by @hueseok actor!Seokjin, established relationship

[drabble] by @parkdatjimin strangers to lovers

“Is That A Hickey?” by @blu-joons established relationship, idol au

[drabble] by @hobipost angst, post breakup au

ohhh, Indigo, thank you for including my story! 💜💜 it's an honor to be included in the same list as all these amazing writers as well!! I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart 💜 can't wait to have a chance to read the ones I hadn't read yet

Fic Recs: March 2022

🔞(Minors DNI) | 💔 Angst| 😈 Smut | 💘 Fluff | ❌Trigger Warning I'm so sorry this is late, but work and life became a bit hectic and I just didn't have time. There's a little less here than my usual amount, but I promise the others will show up in my next fic recs I just wanted this one to be out first 💕

What Are Friends For by @kookdiaries 🔞 😈 VAL, I TOO WOULD DO THE SAME AS YN IM JUST SAYING THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

Mistress by @kaiseuphoria 🔞 💔 😈 💘 ❌ OH GOD. This was amazing I love a darker vibe with my fics, and this was so incredible but omg also so terrifying at moments but this was perfect, so so perfect just an incredibly sinister and hot flirty fic.

#SaveOurCommunityCentre by @taleasnewastime 🔞 💔 💘 OMG Namjooning at it’s finest, I love your brain, how do you come up with such incredible stories?? This is so sweet and like just felt comforting as hell, I loved reading this fic thank you for this. 💕

How I Love You by @ahundredtimesover 🔞 💔 😈 💘 ❌ MIMI IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE U MADE ME CRY HELLO. This ugh, was so painful and wonderful to read, how you take an issue/problems individuals face and turn it into sheer poetry I’ll never know, but I’m beyond grateful for you, and your writing. What a wonderful story, truly as always keeping it near and dear my heart.

Counterfeit Culture by @ggukcangetit 🔞 💔 😈 💘 This was somehow a story I could relate to a lot, not that I’m an amazing scientist, but because I too can hide behind my real feelings, but this was so incredible. Loved to see a modern-day take on a classic, what an incredible read so worth the time ♥️

Launderette by @hamsterclaw 🔞 💔 😈 💘 Ooof, if only Seokjin in could walk into my launderette and then proceed to ask me out, that indeed would be a wonderful start to the day, this was such a sweet and incredible fic, loved it from start to end.

Name of the Game by @ggukcangetit 🔞 💔 😈 💘 I cried omg I love the movie, but I love how you made this story your own, I just felt like I was watching a movie reading this so incredible and captivating 💕

Second First Meeting by @taleasnewastime 🔞 💔 😈 💘 TO BE CATFISHED LIKE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I’LL ACCEPT IT. HONESTLY THE ONLY WAY I’LL ACCEPT IT. This is so incredible ugh the stories you right every single one you have me feeling so happy and content I love it.

On The Ropes by @raplinesmoon 🔞 💔 😈 💘 Isi, I cried, so much. This is so much and so heartbreakingly beautiful, the idea of having it all but only on the outside, and sometimes to find that missing piece we might seek out not so smart options, but oh my goodness this was so incredible. I cannot even put anything into proper sentences, just a must read and a fic I will come back to time to time 🥺💕

Blue Hour by @raplinesmoon 🔞 💔 😈 💘 Jesus, Isi, you made me tear up over this couple twice now, I’m so glad they got their happy ending. They deserved it so much. I love this couple and this story truly ugh tugged on all my heart strings.

Nine Months From Now by @softlyjiminie 🔞 💔 😈 💘 OH MY GOD THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST YOONGI FICS I’VE READ JEEZ IT HAD EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED, SMUT, ANGST AND FLUFF and oooof the drama the romance and Yoongi as a dad?????😩 I loved this story had me sad and then really happy 🥰

Stood Up by @parkdatjimin 🔞 💔 😈 💘 Oh my goodness, this was incredible. So so incredible. Like i cried but I cry at everything, but oh my goodness this was so beautifully written, and so comforting what a wonderful story to have read.

Thirst by @yoondles 🔞 😈 DEAR GOOD GOD IF HOBI WAS MY ROOMMATE I TOO WOULD TAKE VIAGRA AND BEG FOR HIM TO SORT ME OUT 🥵

Feel Your Touch by @jimilter 🔞 💔 😈 💘 ASH, YOU LITTLE. ISTG, WOW. I DON’T THINK I FUNCTIONED FOR A GOOD TWENTY MINUTES READING THIS FIC THIS WAS SO FUCKING HOT AND THERE WAS FLUFF AND ANGST THE HOLY TRINITY THANK U FOR THIS STORY ILY.

Breaking the Rules by @btssmutgalore 🔞 😈 JESUS, THIS IS SO FUCKING HOT I JUST I NEED A MINUTE OR TWO OR AN ICE COLD BATH DEAR GOD.

Paris in the Rain by @kookskingdom 🔞 💔 😈 💘 It’s no secret I’m a cry baby, but this fic took me through so many emotions that I just wept, I fell in love with this. Reading this was like watching a beautiful old time romance movie unfold, so beautiful, delicate and intricate what a wonderful story.

Long Way Home by @sparklingchim 🔞 💔 😈 💘 Oh dear god this story has me hooked, truly. I’m so in love and I’m going to sit and patiently await any update, I’m a sucker for dilf AUs! And this one is so incredible!

Forever Heart by @sparklingchim 🔞 💔 😈 💘 OH GOD I SAW ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON AND CLICKED SO FAST. This fic was something else, and the entire word count was fucking worth it, so painful and so wonderful. I loved reading this story so so much. I hope this couple finds a happy ending some day. 🥺

I Heard a Rumour by @taeshobipop 🔞 😈 💘 The way I cackled throughout this fic, Nye you absolutely killed it with this fic, what a wonderful combination of misunderstandings, slight angst (slight) and fluff and SMUT and omg Namjoon and his spoiler self. I love it 😂💜

Taxi by @spideyjimin 🔞 😈 💘 Catie your smut is PHEW 🥵 it’s always so hot and sexy and yet so tender, ugh dilf jk? PHEW, one can only dream, but this was so well written as always ♥️

Weightless by @vyduan 🔞💔 😈 💘: KNJ & KTH This one hit home, I’m not entirely sure why, but there’s so much pain and unresolved hurt in this fic that I fell in love within the first few lines of reading this story, I’m hooked and I really cannot wait to find out more.

Goodnight & Go by @seokjins-luigi 🔞 💔 😈 💘 ❌: JJK & KSJ This is the first fic where I’ve probably wanted to struggle Jungkook, he’s such a fuck boy here it’s annoying. So annoying. But Jin is the Prince Charming and ugh YN wake up and notice that he’s there for you. So well written, I love this.

Ruin You: Remedy by @taegularities 🔞 💔 😈 💘 : JJK & KTH RID YOU HAVE THOROUGHLY RUINED ME WITH THIS SERIES AND IM OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE THIS WAS SUCH A BITTERSWEET BUT NEEDED ENDING TO THIS STORY THANK YOU FOR THIS SORRY FOR YELLING BUT THATS HOW I COMMUNICATE.

Pas De Trois by @btssmutgalore 🔞 😈 💘: JJK & JHS HOLY SHIT THIS WAS SO FUCKING HOT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I LIKE LEGIT DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE AFTER THIS FIC. DEAR GOD DIRTY TALK JK AND DOM HOBI DEAR GOD THIS WHAT I NEEDED.

[Rec.] by @yoonjinkooked 🔞 😈 💘: KSJ & JJK I— um my two bias wreckers in one fic and dom! Seokjin and Shy! Jungkook??????? Dear good god this fic was pure filth, but so fucking good, and if writing your fic is your ticket to hell then reading it is my ticket to stay there too 🥵

awww thanks, cassie 💜💜 tysm for taking the time to read and leave your comment!

ughhh, I know, Seokjin is literally too good to be true, going to therapy cause I know I won't be finding a man like that hahahaha

say goodnight and go | chapter 06

pairing ↠ jin x reader, fuckboy!jungkook x reader

genre ↠ college au | love triangle | strangers to lovers | slow burn | fluff, angst, smut | multi-chapter

word count ↠ 6.5k

18+ | warnings ↠ grivieng character, manipulation, swearing, cheating, alcohol consumption, smoking.

summary ↠ when your mother passes away, you go back to your college student life, only to find out the guy you liked (and were friends with benefits with) had a girlfriend now. trying to get over him and your mother’s passing, seokjin, the friend of a friend wants you to give him a chance. will you find your way back to yourself?

A/N  ↠ it took me FOREVER to write this and I'm sorry ?? it's been hard offline and not even writing has been helping much. slowly returning ~but returning. as always, I'd like to thank my soulmate @primadonnasdream for the help and the feedback. I was able to put this chapter together thanks to herrr.

thank you everyone who's read this story while I was absent and left comments and etc it was a big motivation to keep writing💜 alsooo, my friend @naah-eps has been writing and posting Breathless, which takes place in the same AU as Say goodnight and go.

anywayyy, I really hope you enjoy this new chapter and thank you for paying any mind to my story 💜 feedback is always appreciated, you guys !

take care and don't forget to drink water

taglist ♡ @annoyingtimemachinee @bri-mal @yuugehn @mwitsmejk @cavenita

permanent taglist ♡ @goldenhoney-cas

if you'd like to be added to the taglist, let me know 💜

⋘ Ch 05

You haven’t been able to relax since you got Jungkook’s text yesterday. Yes, you sent him a sassy snapback, but his text spoiled the whole weekend for you. How the fuck did he find out? Why the fuck does he think he has the right to talk to you like that? Like he owns you, like you owe him any sort of explanation. You see, you really felt like he didn’t have the same kind of hold over you anymore, but he’s not really gone, either.

You were able to enjoy the dinner with Seokjin, but because it feels good to be around him, it feels like you forget about the rest of the world. But when you went to bed, when you were finally alone with your thoughts, you started to feel a growing sense of uneasiness, anticipating every possible scenario in your head, which didn’t really allow you to fall asleep properly. The next morning, Seokjin somehow picked up that there was something off about you and was, as always, the attentive and respectful person he always is, giving space and offering you to come back home earlier. You gladly accepted, because you needed some time alone, you needed to think and try to understand what was going on inside of you. The trip back was as pleasant as the first, Jin and you just talked and listened to music. This time you played your car trip playlist and he told you he liked most of the songs. You believed him, because he doesn’t usually lie to you, not even to please you.

When you got home, Namjoon had already returned to your place. He asked how your trip had been and you told him it had been pretty nice and that the Kim’s own pretty much a beach house mansion, because you definitely didn’t feel like talking about it right now, not even about the good parts. He insisted on knowing more details, but when you asked him how his weekend was, he changed the subject and started to vent out about the prices of the fiberglass vases he was looking online. Jin texted you to let you know he got home safe and you two kept talking to each other basically everyday.

Eunjoo and Jimin were losing their shit, because you and Seokjin kissed and they made you tell them everything, with every detail you could remember. They were both very excited and happy for you, but only one of them was happy because you were finally giving yourself the chance to get over Jungkook. You and Jungkook have been giving each other the silent treatment, except when you were around Namjoon and the other boys and you always made up an excuse to get away from him, on other occasions, he just pretended he didn’t see you and passed by you as if you were invisible.

That’s why you’ve spent the whole day feeling a bit nervous about the upcoming housewarming party marking the official beginning of Eunjoo and Yoongi’s “living together” relationship status. The boys, Seokjin and Jungkook’s girlfriend will be there too. To sum it up, you were scared out of your wits, because the day has finally come. You’d finally meet her. And you’d finally have to spend time with Jungkook after your weekend at Jeju with Seokjin. There was no escaping this time, there was no excuse to get away from him. You’d have to suck it up and pretend everything’s ok.

If it was any other occasion, you’d just call the host and say that you feel sick or something like that, but you couldn’t do that to Eunjoo. Obviously, you and Namjoon were the first two guests to arrive. Eunjoo gave you a warm hug when she opened the door and Yoongi fist bumped you and Namjoon.

“Y/n, I don’t even need to tell you to feel at home, you’ve stayed here as if it was your home before and it still is, ok? Whenever Yoongi isn’t here, you know, the right side of the bed is instantly yours”,

“Well, good thing I’m not a jealous guy”, Yoongi remarks, as he puts one of his arms around his girlfriend’s waist.

Just then, Namjoon lets out one very low laughing snort.

“That was a good one, Yoongs! It is because you are a jealous guy that the two of you are together now”, he taps his friend on the shoulder. “And you’re welcome”.

“Ugh, before you two start bickering… Thank you, my best friend, for welcoming me to your lovely home. I will show up uninvited many, many times, just so you know” Eunjoo’s giggling at that and you’re holding her hand as you say it, “and thank you, my best friend’s boyfriend, for doing the same… Specially, when I was at my lowest in my grieving process and the two of you were absolute angels. I’m sure this is only the beginning of a beautiful love story”, you hold Yoongi’s hand too, and say that looking from one to the other, both of them trying not to smile too widely at you.

“Thank you, luvs”, Eunjoo hugs you and you hug her back. “Now, can you help me with the finishing touches on my cupcakes? You know I’m not the best baker in town, so I could totally use your help”.

“Sure”.

“Want me to help too?” Namjoon offers.

“You’re joking, right?” Eunjoo deadpans.

“No, I was just trying to be nice, jeez”.

“Bless your heart for that, Joon, but… It’s better if you and Yoongi just chill, do you want a beer or something? There’s plenty in the cooler”.

She grabs your hand and drags you to the kitchen hurriedly. You see the cupcakes were perfectly finished on the kitchen counter (as perfect as amateur baking goes, of course). You squint at her and she flashes you a knowing smile, she only wanted to talk to you in private. Of course.

“Yes, my cupcakes look pretty neat for a failed cook, right?” She gets closer to you and continues with a lower voice. “I only wanted to ask you… How do you feel about meeting the girl for the first time? If you feel bad at some point, just know I’ll understand if you want to go home, you can tell the guys you got the cramps or something”.

“I’m super fucking nervous, of course. But I’m gonna have to suck it up and see how it turns out”, you gulp, cracking your knuckles.

Eunjoo looks at your hands and places hers over yours. Being such an intimate friend, she knows it’s one of your main coping mechanisms and she always tells you you’ll end up having arthritis in the future.

“Seokjin will be here too… And I know you know it, before you state the obvious, what I mean is: be careful. I know you don’t owe him anything, but I also know you don’t want to hurt him and the two of you are getting closer and closer, so if the tension between you and Jungkook gets too… Too much, I think the cramps are the best way out of this”.

You know she’s right. As the last week went by, you had done some thinking. You thought a lot about your future and when you imagined it… You can see your life with Jin in it. But Jungkook’s ghost was still too present, the wounds were still open. You need time, that’s all. But you know he’s got his own pace too, as much as he’s giving you space, you couldn’t make him wait forever. You nod at her words.

“And if you need anything, you know you just have to look at me and I’ll read your mind, as I always do”, she squeezes your hands and you nod again. “I’m here, do not hesitate”.

“I’ll be fine, Joo”, you try to give her your best, confident smile. “I’m a tough cookie, you know that”.

“But you don’t have to be a lonely tough cookie, that’s all I’m saying”, she laughs, pushing your shoulder lightly. “That’s it, I was just mildly worried about this whole situation, I just needed to get it off my chest. Let’s go”.

You follow her back to the living room, where Yoongi and Namjoon were excitedly talking about Lil Nas X’s Montero and how much they love it. Eunjoo sits on her boyfriend’s lap and he wraps his arms around her waist, while still talking to your brother about music. It’s so natural with them, they’re so used to each other, like they’re really becoming one. You want that. And you know you’ll never have that with Jungkook, you feel your heart weigh a little at that sight, but try to ignore it.

You sit right on the floor, between your brother’s long legs. You see your phone’s screen lighting up and Jimin’s contact name emerges on it.

chim chim 🐥 [8:20 pm]: sweetums, can you tell everyone hobi and i are gonna get there a little late? rehearsal’s not over yet

You [8:20 pm]: sure, chim

You [8:20 pm]: fighting 👊

You hear Yoongi’s phone ding, followed by a rhythmic knock on the door. Your blood runs cold instantly, because you recognize Jungkook’s habit of not ringing doorbells.

“Taehyung and Jungkook are here”, Yoongi declares, while he goes towards the door and opens it.

You get nervous and your eyes look desperately for Eunjoo’s, who’s now standing to welcome her new visitors. She has her eyes on you and mouths you a “just breathe with me”, taking a deep breath with you mimicking her movements.

Namjoon places his large hands over your shoulders and leans in, to whisper to you.

“Stand up and say hi to Kook’s girlfriend, she’s really excited to meet you”.

You look up at your brother’s face and nod, trying hard not to crumble in front of everyone right now. You wanted to meet her too, you had to meet her. Maybe now it’ll finally hit home for you that Jungkook’s got a girlfriend and that you have to leave him for good. You get on your feet and point to the Kloud can in Namjoon’s hands and he cocks one of his eyebrows inquisitively.

“Just wanna take a sip”, you explain, trying to sound normal.

“Since when do you drink beer without mixing it with soju?” He asks, the same expression as before carved on his face.

“Since right now, man. Can I, please?” You insist, gesturing a little more dramatically than you intended to.

“Aish, woman… Ok”, he forrows his brows and hands you his can. “Calm down”.

You take a fair gulp of it, feeling the sourness of the beverage against your tongue. Calm down, he says. You wish it was that easy.

You feel someone’s hand on your lower back and you freeze, but when your eyes find this particular hand belongs to Taehyung, you let yourself relax a little.

“Hey, gorgeous”, he holds you against his body in a warm hug. “Where do I find one of these?” Taehyung points to the beer can in your hands and you flash him a warm smile.

“The cooler is right in front of the TV stand, see?” You point it to him and he nods, going straight into the pointed direction.

“Hey, Y/n”, you hear his voice and hate the way it sends shivers down your spine, with your name rolling off his tongue casually.

Now it’s the time you shut your feelings out and pretend you and Jungkook are only friends. You’re about to meet his girlfriend and from now on, nothing will ever be the same between you and him. Nothing. This time around, you don’t allow your blood to run cold, you don’t allow your hands to shake. You can’t give Jungkook that satisfaction. He needs to know you can move on, you can get over him and that you don’t need him in your life.

“H-Hi, Kook!” You say as you finally turn to him, doing your best to flash him a convincing smile.

He was standing right beside you, hand in hand with his girlfriend. He’s wearing a light purple sweatshirt and white shorts, you get relatively surprised, because you seldom see him wearing anything other than dark clothes. Unfortunately for you, he looks like a god, as always. If you didn’t know any better, he’d come off as the sweetest guy in the whole fucking world. His girlfriend was right behind him and she looked insanely gorgeous too, beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, plump lips, gorgeous body. She looks amazing in a plain white crop top and light blue jeans, you can see why Jungkook chose her to settle down with, at least in theory.

It could have been you. You can feel your heart sinking further and further.

“Babe, this is my friend Kim Y/n” There’s not an ounce of shame in his eyes as he looks at you and says your name. So he calls her babe too, huh? You’re not even surprised. It just hurts to hear it. “Y/n, this is Baek Seulki, my girlfriend”.

“So, you’re the famous Seulki?” You ask her and she flashes you an excited smile. You try to do the same, and you really hope you can be convincing. It’s not her fault. None of this is her fault. It’s Jungkook’s. You hate him, not her. “I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m glad we could finally meet”.

“Hi, Y/n-unnie! These guys talk so much about you, I feel like I know you already”, she lets go of Jungkook’s hand and comes closer to you, arms extended inviting you into a hug. You allow her to hug you, trying your best to reciprocate the physical interaction, so you wouldn’t give away how awkward it all felt. “You’re so pretty… I’m so, so happy to meet you! I was really excited to meet Jungkook’s best friend”, she laughs, trying to be nice, you guess. You try to join her but yours sounds fake as fuck. “I’m sure you must have a lot to tell me about him, specially, not being one more of his frat bros”, she squints at Jungkook and then her eyes are back at you, an excited light in them, as she giggles softly.

Oh, she has no idea.

“Don’t let him fool you, Seulki, Y/n’s my best friend, not Jungkook’s!” Eunjoo interjects before you need to think about an answer for the girl’s assumptions. Your actual best friend gets closer to you and continues. “And as you can see, she already got herself a beer… Do you want one? Or perhaps you’re hungry? I can start serving the food if you are”.

“Oh, no, a beer’s fine”, Jungkook’s oblivious girlfriend allows Eunjoo to take her away from you and you let go of the air you held inside your lungs. “Oh, hi, Namjoon-oppa!” She waves your brother hello and he smiles at her, not really getting up from his seat.

She’s a sweetheart. There was no competition, there was no jealousy, she was just excited to meet you. The more you think about it, the more you want to punch Jungkook on his beautifully sharp jawline. Damn him.

Jungkook fist bumps your brother and takes the empty seat by his side on the sofa.

“So, Kim siblings, how’s your aunt doing?” Jungkook asks you and Namjoon, but he looks straight at you, challengingly.

“She’s fine, isn’t she, Y/n?” Namjoon’s trying to play it cool and you nod, silently. You nod, giving Jungkook a slight glare. This motherfucker… He really thinks he has some kind of right over you.

“I see…”, he comments. “You’ve never really mentioned this aunt before, I had no idea you were close to her”.

“We were not really close, but… It’s family. With everything that happened… You know”, Namjoon adds, trying to sound as natural as he could.

You know that asking him to lie to his friend isn’t a small, trivial thing to him. You hate yourself for putting your brother in this position, you know how much he cares for Jungkook.

“Yeah, I get it” Jungkook continues, as he makes eye contact with you again. “It’s just that I missed you guys, we all got together for drinks the other night at the frat and it was dope, even Hoseok got drunk and told us the details about his new lady… But anyway, I get it, like, things aren’t easy for your family right now”.

“Yeah… It’s kind of a touchy subject for Y/n still, so, I’d appreciate it if we could talk about something else”, Jungkook nods expressionlessly, his eyes still on you. “Like, for example, have you finished reading Norwegian Wood? I want my book back if you haven’t, it’s been three fucking months, Jungkook-ssi!”

“I swear there are only a few chapters left, hyung! I don’t read as fast as you do, but I swear I’m taking good care of it! The book’s returning to you in perfect conditions in two weeks, tops”, his eyes finally leave you and focus on your brother.

The way he acts so naturally in the middle of all this just makes you want to throw up. He has his current girlfriend and the girl he’s been playing around with for almost two years in the same room and he sits there, by your brother, as if nothing’s major happening right now. He’s just so certain that he has you wrapped around his finger, he doesn’t even worry about you making a scene or anything. He knows you won’t, you care too much about him to spoil his friendship with his hyung like that, even though he fucking deserves it.

He doesn’t care that from now on you’d be comparing yourself with Seulki in everything. In looks, in wits, in being close to your friends. And not only that, you couldn’t push her friendliness towards you out of your mind. She hugged you, she told you she was happy to meet you. You feel so guilty for doing what you did to her. You know Jungkook isn’t the only one to blame, you know you’ve got your fair share of guilt too. You give Namjoon his beer can back and you excuse yourself, saying you need to pee.

You just needed to get away from them, you needed to breathe. Maybe you’d follow Eunjoo’s advice and make some period cramps up and just leave. You look at your face’s reflection in the mirror. You fight back the tears that start to fill up your eyes, you can’t cry, at least, not right now. Your friends are on the other side of the door, your brother’s there too. You’re Jungkook’s accomplice here, your hands are dirty too. It's not his fault alone and that’s probably the worst part, you don’t even know if you have the right to cry.

When you pull yourself together, you open the door and see Seokjin has arrived too. He’s hugging Eunjoo and Yoongi at the same time, his eyes shut as he laughed about something as if it was the funniest thing in the whole world. You look at him and it feels like weight has been lifted from your chest, but honestly, you don't even deserve that.

When he fluttered his eyes open and saw you, a disarming smile formed on his lips and you couldn’t help but smile at him too. Whatever it is that you felt when you saw Jungkook couldn’t be compared to seeing Jin’s smile, and specially, to seeing him smile because he saw you. You don't think you could describe this feeling even if you talked about it for twelve hours straight. He’s wearing a red t-shirt that makes him look like the male-lead straight out of a TV drama, he’s just ridiculously handsome.

“Hi, Jinie”, smile still hanging on your lips. “What took you so long?”

“Was fixing my hair, babygirl, it’s hard to believe, but I do not wake up like this… What do you think of my new hairstyle, by the way?”

He bends his knees a little so you could take a better look. He’s got his hair parted to the sides, forehead exposed, instead of his regular blond bangs. As incredible as it may seem, he was able to look even more dashing, but before you get a chance to tell him what you thought, or something similar to that, you feel the delightful woody notes of the fragrance of his perfume, one you've never felt before.

“Forget about your hair, is this a new perfume?”

“Yeah, like it?”

“Wow, it’s exquisite”, you take a deep breath near him again. It felt expensive. “You got good taste, Jinie”.

“Thank you, babygirl. Feel free to sniff my neck anytime”.

“What?!” You ask him in an incredulous tone.

“That day we were out in the open and you sniffed Hoseok’s neck anyway! Why can’t I be sniffed too?” He laughs silently, poking you in the ribs softly, almost making you blow up at him for it.

“It’s different with you!”.

He studied you for a second and you saw something shifting in his eyes.

“Is it?” He asks, as he leans in closer to you.

You can’t help but to flinch a little with the closeness. Having him that close, smelling so great and looking at you the way he did could only result in problems.

“You know it is”, you answer and he flashes you a mischievous smile.

He, then, shakes his head lightly, as if he’s trying to get something off his mind. Thankfully, he is much more saner than you are.

“Er… Speaking of everyone being here... How are you feeling?” He bobs his head in Seulki’s direction.

“I… I feel better now that you’re here”, you commented, not really wanting to talk about the Jungkook situation with him. Your answer seems to take him by surprise and his face lightens up.

“Are you sure?” He asks you, looking you in the eyes.

You nod and he seems to pick up that you don’t really want to talk about that right now.

“Just wait a second, let me just go back to what you said…” You arc one of your brows, curious to what’s coming along with the smirk you’ve grown to know already on his lips. He continues in a lower tone. “Tell me more about you wanting to sniff my neck, you know, you don’t even need to ask”.

“Do you need me to spell it out for you, Jinie?”

He breathes, the smirk still there.

“It’s good to know. I’d love to hear what is it that you want, eventually… But, anyways, do you want a beer? I’m getting one for me”, he offers.

What is it that I want? What’s that supposed to mean, anyways?

“Not really, but I’d love it if you made me another one of your somaeks”.

“Yoongi-ssi! Is there soju?” He raises his voice, to call his best friend’s attention. Yoongi nods and points to the cooler. “Ok, I’ll mix it for you and this time around I’ll not make you call me oppa or anything, cause I know you get shy”.

“I’d love to punch that smirk off your face, Seokjin, really! Absolutely no drink on the face of this planet would be worth public humiliation”, you snap back at him, pushing his larger than life shoulder.

He replies with a different kind of laughter, a deeper and more restrained one. You have to mentally control yourself from not allowing a shiver to go down your spine when it meets your ears. You observe him as he’s focusing on mixing the right amount of beer to the soju shot, he has his thick brows furrowed and his lips forming a slight pout while he's distracted and concentrated. You, once again, catch yourself thinking he has the most captivating beauty you have ever seen in your life and don’t even realize your lips parting in a silly smile.

Well, not until he turns to you and points that out.

“What?” He asks you with a crooked smile, handing you your somaek.

“What what?” You return the question, dumbfoundedly.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you shouldn’t be…”

“It’s just that… You pout when you’re concentrated, it’s so cute”, you sip into your drink and it's as good as the last time. “Thanks, Jinie, this one’s as good as last time… Hey, your ears are getting red, why?”

You tease, knowing it’ll only make him feel even more flustered.

“Ya! You’re calling me cute, how do you expect me not to blush?” He raises his voice, just like he always does when he’s passionately defending himself. “I just caught you staring at me with a smile on your face, you’re the one who should be blushing right now!”

“Smiling? I’m pretty sure I was not smiling, I was probably trying not to laugh at you. You’re absolutely mental, Seokjin, you should definitely see a doctor”.

“You’re absolutely mental, Seokjin”, he imitates you, in a high-pitched voice, mockingly.

He pokes you again on the rib, only this time, he does it multiple times and the overwhelming ticklish sensation spreads through your body and it has you squirming and letting out an involuntary grunt. You hate the fact that you’re absolutely prone to make a scene whenever someone tickles you and you hate that Seokjin, of all people, had already found that out about you.

“Will you fucking stop?” You slap him, as you whisper shout him the question. “You ass!”

“Ouch! Ok, I’ll stop!” He pleads, laughing softly, rubbing his arm where your hand landed on him a few seconds ago. “Please, do not retaliate, you know I’m very ticklish. I regret it already, ok?”

“Ugh! I hate you!”

“No, you don't, come here”.

He comes closer and wraps his arms around you, his body still shaking lightly from laughing as he rests his chin on your head. He melts away the utter annoyance you should be feeling right now. You honestly love having him close.

And you shouldn’t love it so much.

Or maybe you should.

You feel him tense, arms a little stiff around you.

“What?” You inquire, moving your head so you could take a look at him.

“Don’t look, but Jungkook-ssi’s shooting daggers at me right now”, he lowers his head and whispers it in your ear.

“Well… Let him. I don’t care”, you shrug, as he lets go of you, looking at you in the eyes.

You see something flickering in his gaze again, something you’re not quite sure you can name, but he has a light expression on his face so it shouldn’t mean it’s a negative sign.

“Not caring, yeah- It’s good”, he gestures.

“Y/n!” You turn your head to where the sound of Eunjoo’s voice came from. “Ciggies?”

You ask if Jin wants to join you, but he says he doesn’t. Yoongi also declines Eunjoo’s invitation. So, it’s just a girls’ moment with your best friend, sitting on her balcony bench, sharing a mint cigarette. The night is a little too warm for your liking, but at least the stars were shining brighter than yesterday and the crescent moon looks like a beautiful celestial grin.

“So… You and Seokjin, huh?” She asks you, wiggling her eyebrows, reaching for the cigarette in your hands.

“Joo, honestly?” She nods, encouraging you to continue. “I don't really wanna talk about that right now… I just met Koo- Er… Jungkook’s girlfriend. Can we just enjoy our ciggie and talk about anything other than my love life?”

“Of course, sorry. Whenever you’re ready to… Talk about that, I’ll be all ears. It doesn’t have to be now”.

“Is this a new dress? I’ve never seen it”, you ask her, in an attempt to just forget about the previous topic.

“Do you like it? Yoongi picked it himself”, she answers with a tender smile on her face.

You wish you had that. So bad, it hurts.

“You're looking amazing, luvs. Kudos to Yoongi for being a connoisseur”.

“You know you can borrow it anytime, right? Maybe in a future date with Seok-”.

She cuts herself short when she hears the balcony door being opened and Jungkook joins you and your friend. No one says anything for a while and you have to stop your legs from trying to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. He clears his throat, looking from you to Eunjoo and you just avoid his gaze.

“Do you need anything, Jungkook-ssi?” Eunjoo asks him, not sounding very happy to see him.

“Could you leave me and Y/n alone, please?” He returns the question, sounding as unfriendly as her, taking a gulp from the beer can in his hand.

“No”, her lips twist slightly upwards, in a challenging smile. She told you many times she wouldn't interfere, but if she ever got directly involved in your drama, she wouldn't control herself. “I don't think so”.

“You just saw how she treated me, right?” He asks you, pointing at Eunjoo’s direction. Then, he turns to her again. “I thought we were friends, Eunjoo! But you just keep pushing me away like I’m a monster or something… I’m not!”

“You’re so fucking dramatic! The world does not revolve around your dick, Jungkook! All I’m doing is showing you that I’m not ok with how you’ve been treating Y/n. She went through so much recently, she surely doesn't need you to make it all worse”.

“Oh, I see… You’re the one who’s playing me off against her, then?” He asks Eunjoo with a hurted tone.

“I’m not-”

“I should’ve seen it coming… Deep down I’ve always known you’ve never really liked me much, Eunjoo-ssi”, Jungkook interrupts her, closing his eyes as he says that. Looking at you, he continues. “I just wanted to talk to you… But there’s nothing I can do if your mind’s already made up about me being the villain in all of this”.

You can see he holds some pain in his gaze and you can’t help but feel your heart weighing a little at the thought of being the one that’s causing it. You don’t have to dig that deep to find the feelings you’ve been burying inside of yourself these past few weeks. Specially looking into his magnetic doe eyes. Or maybe you’re just very stupid, who knows?

“Do you want to talk to me, Jungkook?” You say it before Eunjoo can answer, but it comes out not much louder than a whisper. “Ok, let’s talk”.

Your eyes dart from him to a livid, but controlled Eunjoo, who’s examining your face carefully. You nod your head at her, asking her to leave you two alone. She raises her brows questioningly and you nod again, trying to look as composed as you can.

“You’re a grown woman, Y/n. I just hope you know what you’re doing…” She hisses and slams the door after her.

Eunjoo leaves you and Jungkook alone, in an odd, uncomfortable atmosphere. Your cigarette’s burning between your fingers and you try to focus on not allowing your hands to shake. His eyes, dark and intense, travel up and down your body, stopping at your face. You, on the other hand, look away.

“Look at me, Y/n… The least you could do is look me in the eyes”, he starts, burying his free hand in his pockets. “Or do you wanna keep on pretending that we’re just casual friends hanging around?”

“Are we anything other than that, Jungkook? Have we ever been?” You ask him, voice almost cracking when you say his name. “You brought her here today, man… I got the message. You’re not breaking up with her in this lifetime, I was stupid enough to believe it once! I’ve meant nothing to you, I know it now. And if you’re worried about me telling the boys about us, relax, I won’t”.

You wish you weren’t a secret, so you could shout these words at his face. You want to make a scene, but you simply can’t.

“I don’t give a fuck about this rambling bullshit you’re on right now. You told me you’d stay away from this dude, but then”, he takes a noisy breath before he continues. “You dragged your older brother -who’s also my friend, by the way- into a very complicated plan just to make a fool out of Jeon Jungkook. So, my question is, was it worth it?”

“Well, actually, since you asked-”

“You know what? I prefer not to listen how good it was getting dicked down by prince charming in his beautiful beach mansion”.

“Why don’t you go back inside to your girlfriend and leave me the fuck alone?” You ask him, unconsciously clenching your fists. “Jin and I are only friends, but if we weren’t it would be none of your business, Jungkook-ssi! How did you even find out about the trip anyway?”

“Well, now it’s my turn to tell you this is none of your business, babe”, he raises his eyebrows mockingly, almost defiantly again. “You keep saying that I don’t care about us, but you’re the one acting as if we mean nothing to you”.

“What?!”

“You heard me”.

“Yeah, I did… I just can not believe you’d have the balls to tell me that. After everything I’ve always done everything for you, for us!”

“You have suggested that you wanted me to break up with Seulki and I agreed, I just told you I needed some time. Then, I’ve asked you to stay away from this guy, who, by the way, clearly wants to take my place… And you didn’t. You even lied to me! And even after that, I’m still here trying to talk to you, honestly, I don’t know what else I can do… You’re the one who doesn’t care about us!”

“But you didn’t break up with her!”

“But I will!” He gets closer to you as he says that and you can feel a mixture of his cologne and of the soju on his breath. It makes you almost hate him for wishing his mouth was on yours right now. “I’ll do whatever you want to prove to you I’m serious about us this time”.

He gets even closer and intertwines your fingers tightly, looking you straight in the eyes.

“I don’t wanna lose you”, he whispers in a softer tone now.

You return his look, straight into his doe eyes. You’re not sure about what you find in them, but there’s something that makes you believe him. Maybe it’s just because you want to believe him, but given your story, he deserves a chance to try to make things right. It feels like a weight has been lifted from your chest.

“Jungkook… Do you promise?”

“Of course I do, babe. I’m willing to do this for you”, he reaches for a strand of your hair and tucks it behind your ear affectionately. “Just know that I don't expect to do this alone. What I saw back there, the hugging and the giggling… Not a pleasant scene to witness, hope I don’t have to go through it again. You’re not something I feel like sharing”.

“I’m not yours to share, Jungkook-ssi”.

“Of course you are”, he says that getting the closest he can to you.

Before you could say anything, you feel his hand squeezing your bottom in a firm, dominant way. You’d be lying if you said his touch didn’t feel ecstatic against your warm skin.

“See how perfectly your ass fits my hands?” You nod. You nod, because you’re weak and Jungkook knows it. “You will never find such a perfect fit anywhere else. This is why you can’t just move on from me so easily, you know this too”.

His hand travels from your butt to the nape of your neck, resting there, while the other holds you by the waist. You feel a familiar tingling sensation inside, that one you get whenever Jungkook’s hands are on you. The feeling that you’re too scared to name, but you definitely have for him. You just want more of it, you crave him. All of him.

“This”, he continues. “This thing we have… It’s not easy to find, don't think you can just replace me for some other guy. You can't”.

“And don’t you think you can replace me either”, you reply, as his dark eyes pierce through you.

“So this means you agree with me, babe?”

“Maybe”.

“Good to know”, he pulls away from you, taking a safe distance from you. “Let’s go back in, babe, we’ve been here for too long… And I want another beer”.

Before you have a chance to move, you hear the door sliding again and Seulki walks in the balcony a second later. She takes a look around, her face looks relaxed but you notice it doesn’t meet her eyes, there’s a darker shade on them you’re not sure what it means.

“You’ve been gone for a while, honey bunny, I was looking for you”, she utters in a whining tone, looking at her boyfriend with a corner of her mouth quirked up, as she discreetly sized him up.

“I was just catching up with Y/n. We ended up taking different classes this semester, so we haven’t had much time to talk”, he places his hand on her lower back and you look away. “Right, Y/n?”

“Yup”, you simply answer. “Guys, I’m heading back inside, since I’m out of cigarettes now. The Moon looks beautiful today, make sure to enjoy the view”.

Without looking back, you just allow your feet to take you back inside, you just can’t look at her right now. Not after what you asked Jungkook to do. You notice Hobi and Jimin had arrived while you were outside, they come and say a warm hello and you try your best to hide the turmoil you were feeling right now.

You’ve agreed to keep on doing this crazy thing with Jungkook. The thing you’ve wanted the most for the past two years. It’s almost relieving when you realize that this specific part of your life won’t be changing for the worst, after all the shit you went through recently. At least you get to keep Jungkook.

The rest of the evening goes by and you feel a little off, exchanging glances with Jungkook from time to time and everytime your eyes met, it was like a reminder that you had to keep Seokjin away from your mind. But it’s hard when he’s everywhere or, at least, it feels like he’s everywhere now, wherever you look you see his blond hair from the corner of your eyes; you hear his laughter all night long; his blonde hair flowing like silk from side to side while he passionately talks about the silliest things in the world, as he always does; and most importantly, it feels like his sparkling almond shaped eyes insist on finding yours whenever they can.

It almost makes you question your actual desires. But that’s too much for your tipsy brain to process right now, that’s something it’ll have to do by itself, when time comes, if certainty doesn’t come by the morning. Considering you do not plan to tell none of this to Eunjoo.

IM SO PUMPED FOR THE JIMIN STORY 😩😩 yay i love angst and ex’s to acquaintances to lovers to whatever you plan on doing lol i’m excited :))

aww thank you so much 🥺🥺 I really hope you enjoy this story !!! I'M BOTH NERVOUS AND EXCITED TO POST THIS ONE because it got much more attention than I expected but I also LOVE a good old angsty story so I'm trying my best to do a good job ~ please let me know if you really enjoyed it once it comes out dearrr

i don’t know if someone asked this before. but was jimin framed? his mentioning of he and his insistence on wanting to explain makes me question if he cheated.

but if he cheated, jimin dares to still call y/n babe. like excuse me. she is NOT his babe anymore. he made sure of that. ugh, i'm confused if i should like jimin or not. but i am sure that i love the fix. i can’t wait to read the coming chapters!! <33

helloww, anon!

was he framed? maybe he was. there's certainly something oc doesn't know about this story that jimin decided, at least in that moment, he wanted to tell her.

i cant say much, if he did cheat and is now lying about it, it makes him even worse. but if he didn't cheat, maybe there was a reason he let her believe that.

we'll see 👀

thank you for taking the time to write to me 💜 i hope you enjoy reading this story (:

awww millie tysm !!! ᵔᴥᵔ

whenever i see other fellow b-armys creating content here i feel so happyyy and it makes me even happier to know you liked the first part of this story ~ we'll definitely be seeing what jimin means in the next part and then you guys are gonna get to decide whether you're on his side or not. BUT WE'LL SEE HEHE

thankss again for the love and i hope i don't disappoint yall

i hate everything about you | pt. 1 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to lovers | a lot of angst | a slightly little bit of a love triangle

18+

・word count: 6.7k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・A/N: firstly, i want to wish our baby mochi the happiest of birthdays! i really wanted to have something to post on his birthday, since i couldn't do it for any of our other boys this year ):

i also want to say that i'm really happy/surprised with the huge amount of attention the teaser for this fic got! i felt so inspired, thank you all for taking your time to share it and to talk to me about it too !! <3

i hope you enjoy this first part and i promise i won't take too long to put out part 2! here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe also shoutout to the anon who asked for the black haired jimin header back lol this one's for you

as always, thank you to my fave person @primadonnasdream. without her, i would never be able to write any of my stories.

feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist: @imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc

There are about eighteen thousand bars in Seoul. You know this because you’ve just googled it. Out of curiosity? Not really. Just because you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that out of all the bars in Seoul, all the eighteen thousand bars in Seoul, Jungkook had to pick the one where your ex is currently working. 

Not to blame it on Jungkook, poor guy. There was no way in hell he could know this and you’re sure that if you told him, he’d be crushed, since, according to him, he’s been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out for months. To be fair, you didn’t even know Jimin had left his partner, Seokjin, and his own bar to start working behind the counter again. Not that it's any of your business, anyway. He can go to hell for all you care, especially after dumping your ass three days before your four year anniversary for some random girl he met on that stupid fucking bar of his.

That fucking stupid bar he clearly didn’t even own anymore. Joke’s on him.

It broke your heart in a way you’re not sure it’s ever going to heal. He meant the world to you, all that butterfly bullshit and everything. When he left you, it felt like your world was falling to pieces. You shared a life, even shared a home. A small apartment near his stupid fucking bar, you were so happy when you two finally moved in together. 

Building intimacy takes time, compromising to someone else’s well being and happiness costs more than only your time. Learning how to share your space, your insecurities, your feelings, your everyday life. That shit takes time. Giving yourself to a person takes more than that. It takes courage. 

You gave all of that and much more to Park Jimin. But you regret doing so with every fiber of your being. Learning to live your life again without having him in it was one of the hardest things you’ve had to do so far.

You had your share of revenge after fucking his best friend, Taehyung, and making sure to tell him about it when you went to your apartment to get his stuff back. If you felt like shit, you had to try to make him feel at least one percent of the heartbreak you had been feeling. After that, you heard that he and Taehyung got into a physical fight and had cut ties. 

It was definitely not a very peaceful break up experience, both of you were extremely proud people and could not stand losing. It took you a great amount of therapy sessions in order to stop dreaming and thinking about him 24/7. 

Do you still believe in love after that? You’re not sure, probably not, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Jungkook was a very sweet and flirty distraction in the middle of your heartbreak. Not to mention the guy is hot as fuck, but right now, you swear you could just punch him in the face. 

Because out of all the bars in Seoul, here you are. At the one your fucking nasty ex boyfriend works in. 

As soon as you walked in, you felt something was off with this one. It felt like the universe itself was trying to spare you from this experience. Of course, you didn’t listen to your intuition, especially because Jungkook told you a friend of his has been talking wonders about the drinks from this specific bar. 

Once you looked over at the bar, you saw him. For a split second, you froze. He looked as gorgeous as ever, dark locks obscuring his eyes from where you could see. You didn't allow yourself to feel any type of way with the sight of him, you were over him, you definitely didn't want to go back to the pit where you recently came out of, thank you very much. He was too busy with whatever he was doing at the moment to notice you, fortunately. You just rushed over to Jungkook, locking your arms out of nervousness, leaving him quite giddy about it. 

Did you ask him to leave and look for another place to spend the night? No. 

Should you have done so? Maybe.

But you wouldn't deny yourself the satisfaction of showing Jungkook off to him in the place Jimin works. It didn't matter that only looking at him made you miss him more than words can ever say, you know that he’d feel pissed out of his mind. You’d deal with your feelings some other time.

“Looks nice, huh?” Jungkook asks you with a sweet smile hanging on his pierced lips, bringing you back to planet Earth.

You nod faintly, showing him a warm smile. 

“There's a balcony back there, do you see it?” He asks again, holding your hand now. You weren’t even able to react to Jungkook’s gestures properly, you were too lost in your thoughts about Jimin. “It’s got a very nice view of the city, if anything, we can take some nice photos here. You look hot, by the way”.

“Oh- I- Thanks, Jungkook. You too, by the way”, you tried smirking. “A-Are we getting a table or what?”

You usually don’t get thrown off by his compliments. You love when it happens, of course, but you’re usually good at flirting, you see he gets slightly puzzled as to why would you react like that all of a sudden.  

“Are you okay, Y/n?” He asks you, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, a little concern can be sensed in his voice tone. 

“Of course! Why do you ask?” You reply, tilting your head a bit, trying to sound convincingly confused. 

You would not simply ruin your date by mentioning your ex boyfriend is the bartender he’s been listening compliments about.  

“Nevermind… Why don’t you go ahead and grab us a spot on the balcony? I’ll do the honors and order our drinks. Any preferences?”

“Surprise me”, you challenge him, squeezing his hand before letting go of it, still trying to hold the confident demeanor he’s used to. 

You head over to the balcony, not really looking over at the bar, trying your best to forget about the fact that Jimin was here and could notice you’re here too at any moment. The most annoying thing about this situation is that you’re feeling too nervous about seeing him. Much more than you should be.

So what Jimin is here? You’re over him, remember? Get your shit together. You’re here with Jungkook, enjoy your date.

You try distracting yourself by scrolling on your social media, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just trying to keep your mind away from Jimin. You can’t really understand why you feel almost shaky, maybe that’s how your body reacts to someone you hate. 

You only had the courage to look into his direction again when you felt Jungkook was coming back to your table, with a warm expression adorning his beautiful features, holding two drinks in his hands. It would have been the beginning of a nice date, if you couldn’t see Jimin’s eyes shooting daggers in your direction from above Jungkook’s shoulder. 

Yes, he’s seen you already. Of course he’s seen you. 

Naturally, since you noticed Jimin’s eyes on you, you were simply not able to relax. Jungkook was acting like his normal charming self, completely unaware of what was going on inside your head. You simply nodded whenever it felt like he was waiting for a reply from you.

“Why are you nodding? Did you hear what I said?” He asks you, with an embarrassed half smile, making you feel slightly guilty for not giving him the attention he deserves.

Damn you, Park Jimin.

“Sorry, Kook, I zoned out for a second. What was the question again?”

“I said the restrooms here are amazing and that you should see it”, he repeats himself, pointing to the drink in front of you, he continues. “I need to use the toilet again, by the way, do you want another mimosa?”

“Oh, sure. Thanks”, you reply with a gentle smile, the nicest one you could flash at him.

You honestly liked him. He was a very good person, from what you could tell. Unfortunately, you completely lost the focus on this date, maybe it was your fight or flight instincts taking over your thoughts, but the only thing you could think about was Jimin’s burning gaze on you and how badly you wanted to escape.

You were pretty sure you got over him, he’s your past. That’s a fact. He is past, there’s no other way. The idea that he can look at you like you’re doing something wrong by moving on with your life makes you feel livid, that’s all there is to it. 

He’s always had the talent to make everything be about him, but this time around it genuinely pisses you off. This whole situation was actually just a coincidence, he’s the one needing to get over himself.

“So, who’s the idol wannabe?” A voice startles you.

A voice you know all too well.

Following the sound of this voice with your eyes, you contemplate the one and only Park Jimin, the man who cheated on you. The once love of your life. You refuse to allow his presence to affect you in any type of way, though.

“Idol wannabe?” You snort, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Oh, you mean my date? Wow, Mini, you sound so frustrated when you put it like that… Cause, you know, you’re an ex idol wannabe too”.

“Very funny, babe. Who’s the guy?” He jerks his head in the direction Jungkook went, with an authoritative expression on his face.

Like he had any right to be asking you questions about your life. 

“What’s that, Mini? A public jealousy display?” You figured the best way to deal with him was by not giving him what he wants.

“Isn't that what you wanted bringing him to the place I work?”

“I can’t believe- Why do you think I care about how you feel or don’t feel, Park Jimin-ssi?” You blurt out, trying to keep your composure as much as possible. The last thing you want is to make a scene. “It’s funny that you think I’d give myself the trouble to make you feel jealous. I didn't even know you left The Wave”.

“And you expect me to believe that?” He cocks his brows, eyes not leaving your face. “You're a character, Y/l/n Y/n-ssi”.

“As I’ve stated before, Park Jimin-ssi, I do not care about anything that’s related to you anymore. I’m sorry if my presence here feels like an insult or whatever, but, you know… You should have moved on with your life by now too”, as you spit these words at him, you see his eyes flickering with an indignation he would not be allowed to lash out the way you know he wants to, because, after all, this is where he works. “So, if you excuse me, my date can come back at any second and I have no interest in letting him know you’re my ex”.

He grimaced, not uttering another word. That is so unlike him, it’s funny... and kind of weird. He has quite the explosive demeanor and you know you were kind of harsh to him right now. You almost feel guilty, but then you remember how humiliating it was finding out about his infidelity.

What he made you go through was way worse. 

Placing a Daiquiri glass in front of you on the table, he smirks, but you see his smile does not really meet his eyes, covered by a darker cloak you couldn’t actually explain where it came from. 

“Alright, Y/n-ssi. Here’s your drink”, bowing to you, as he takes his leave. “You’re looking as gorgeous as ever. Good luck with your idol boy”. 

“Jimin-ssi, that’s not really what we ordered”, you raise your voice tone slightly, just so you made sure he could hear you.

“Oh, I know, babe. But we both know you’re not really much of a mimosa woman”, he answers, the irony lying underneath every single one of the words that came out of his mouth, turning to you again. “I know you very well, unlike your date, apparently. Don’t worry, this one’s a little more expensive, so, it’s on me”.

He blinks at you, turning on his heels again, this time around not taking another glance in your direction again, leaving you with an almost bittersweet taste in your mouth, that only goes away when you see Jungkook’s smile getting near you again. 

He sits in front of you again and you honestly don’t understand how you allowed Jimin to get under your skin for even a split second. Jungkook was everything you could ask for a guy to be: stunning, into you and not your complicated ex.

“A daiquiri?” He asks you in a gentle tone, knitting his brows together. “Sorry, I guess the bartender didn't understand what I said”.

“No. It’s fine, I’ve started drinking this one already”, you state.

It’s kind of cute that he paid attention to you to a degree in which he noticed the drink you were having. He’s a sweetheart, but Jimin was right, at the end of the day. You’re not much of a mimosa girl. 

“Don't worry, he’s the one who made the mistake… I’m sure he’ll bring you a new one”, Jungkook turns in what you know is Jimin's direction, with his right arm raised, gesturing for him to come over to your table. Then, he turns back to you, with a sweet smile hanging from his pierced lips. “He’s coming”.

Jungkook calling him over was something you simply didn't expect to happen, you didn't have time to react, to think about something to say or for a reason to stop him. You figured you couldn’t have a very strong reaction here, since for all that matters to your date, this guy is just the bartender, not your ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended really badly. 

Naturally, it doesn’t take Jimin more than ten seconds to get to you, and knowing Jimin, he would stop anything he was doing so he could come over and be petty, if possible. 

“Can I help you?” You hear his voice, but refuse to turn your head in his direction.

You know he’s looking at you, though.

“We have actually ordered a mimosa, but, maybe there was some confusion, and we ended up getting a daiquiri instead. I was wondering if there’s something we can do about it”, Jungkook had both sides of his mouth turned up in a likeable smile, as he gazed in Jimin’s direction. 

You know Jungkook’s niceness would only piss Jimin off even more. 

“Oh, yes, the daiquiri. There’s no mistake, actually”, Jimin mimics the smile Jungkook flashed at him, but you know his isn't a heartfelt one. “I think it suits her better than a mimosa. Anything else?”

“I’m sorry?” Your date’s brows snapped together and the niceness in his smile dissolved into disbelief. “How did you come to a conclusion about the type of drink she prefers?”

“Oh, believe me, I know it”, Jimin snapped back, in a controlled tone. 

Jungkook’s eyes darted in your direction, kind of looking for some sort of endorsement to what he was saying to Jimin, obviously baffled by the boldness of this guy. He, obviously, didn’t find the same kind of expression on your features. It didn’t take him too long to understand that something was off, in a split second, you saw the realization dawning in his face.

You felt cold to your bones, concentrating on using every single bit of what was left from your self control in order not to run away from this bar and leave both of them bickering over the goddamned daiquiri.

“Well, she seems pleased with your choice of drink”, Jungkook tried, clearing his throat. “Thank you for your service, I guess. Keep up with the good work”.

Jimin bows to Jungkook and then to you. 

The atmosphere Jimin leaves behind is so heavy you can almost touch it, you feel the air weighing all around you and Jungkook, who was focused on playing with the napkins on the right side of your table. You open your mouth, but the words just refuse to leave your lips.

You don't even know how to start. What could you possibly say in a situation like that? Most importantly, would you be able to actually explain anything without bursting into tears in front of Jungkook? Not only did you run into your ex for the first time in almost a year, but also he had to come over and make a scene in front of the guy you were seeing.

It was only your second date with Jungkook, after going out for a very nice dinner, in which the two of you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes. If only you two had gone two any other of the eighteen thousand bars in this city, you would have never seen Jimin and you’d also not be feeling this terrible uneasiness in your chest.

“So”, Jungkook breaks the silence, but you see he’s still looking at his hands as if those damn napkins were the most amusing thing in the world. “You apparently know each other”. 

“We do. But honestly, I don’t really want to get onto this, Jungkook. Sorry”, you confess, not really knowing if you’re angry or simply dejected by this encounter.

Jungkook could have also just not mentioned the fact that it was clear you and Jimin have some kind of history. Why do men have to be so clueless all the time? Honestly, it feels like a curse liking men sometimes. The whole situation was so off putting, you truly just wanted to go home, it didn’t matter Jungkook was hot and the nicest guy ever, Jimin was able to kill the mood for you completely.

You see Jungkook is fighting some sort of  internal battle and you feel extremely bad for being the reason behind it.. He had been the sweetest person you had a date with in a very long time. You obviously were not ready to try dating again, Jimin was still all over you, and unfortunately, not only figuratively speaking.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess", you finally break the silence, making Jungkook look at you again. "I honestly don't feel so good right now…"

"Yeah, I imagined. All I can do is wholeheartedly tell you that it's alright if you wanna go home or something. I don't really know what happened between the two of you, but I can tell something definitely happened", he sympatized and you could tell he was being genuine, not really knowing why, you just saw it in his eyes.

You feel like going home, for sure. Just laying in bed for a couple of hours and crying your eyes out would be the only medicine for this. Maybe, tomorrow after work, you’d need the “best friend plus romantic sad movies combo”, but you’d be alright. Unfortunately, seeing Jimin after this time apart was not as easy as you thought. You just knew that the lump in your throat wouldn't just disappear after installing itself there once again.

Looking deep into Jungkook's eyes, searching for some sort of judgment or resentment, which you do not find, you muster up the strength to be fully honest. If nothing, he deserved it.

"I do want to go, Jungkook", you confess, taking his hand, that rested upon the table, into yours and squeezing it lightly. "I'm really sorry for being a louzy date tonight. I promise I'll try to make it up to you".

"Hey, don't worry…" He says softly. Jungkook squeezes your hand back, but lets go of it and pulls it back, leaving yours hanging on the table by itself. "I have kind of waited a long time to ask you out, but I can wait some more. Date number one was amazing, but we can’t always win. I just want us to have a good time together. I'll let you make it up to me, it's fine".

“I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine”, he shakes his head, a soft smile hanging loosely on his pierced lips, sounding convincing enough to you. He is genuinely a good person. “But for out next date, you’re the one who should be asking me out. Deal?”

He extends his tattooed hand to you, still beaming at you. 

“Fair enough”, you shake his hand back, feeling a little better for his reassurance. “Deal”.

You must be the most stupid person to ever walk this earth and you know it. Losing your chance with a guy like Jungkook is one of the most ridiculous things you've ever put yourself through. But what can you objectively do? You just ran into your ex and it was awful. You just wanted to cry curled up onto your pillows until you forgot, once again, what the sound of Jimin's voice felt like against your ears. You were in no mood for small talk and flirtation anymore. It was better ending the night like this, than being a statue around him, right? And if he said you could make it up to him later, you could really try to. 

You know that if you weren't feeling this blue, you'd be embarassed as fuck. Maybe, tomorrow, you will. 

Jungkook insists on paying for your drinks, saying that you could pay on the next time. Good to know that he's really counting on a next time and he didn't say it just to be polite before. Fortunately, he doesn't really offer to take you home and you call yourself a car. All you wanted was to be alone with your thoughts for a while.

This whole situation wouldn't be this awful if you didn't feel Jimin's eyes on you the whole fucking time. You knew he was watching the whole scene unravel in front of his eyes with an indescribable delight. 

Indeed, he won this time. But you could only hope that this was the only battle he'd win from now on. You needed to find your way back to yourself. 

And you will, it’ll just take you a little bit of time again.

The light breeze gently touches your skin, as you feel the warmness of the rising sun delicately kissing your hair. The star emerges from behind the hills, as you stand in front of them, tall and strong, deeply rooted to the depths of the earth.

Suddenly, you hear a very loud noise, sounding like a distant bell. Looking around you, you’re not able to find the source of it. It’s not possible that it’s coming from one of the trees, is it?

You hear it again, this time, longer and more annoyingly depriving you from enjoying this beautiful day out in the meadows.

But then, you realize this is a dream. And as soon as the realization hits you, you wake up. You hate being an occasional lucid dreamer, who wakes up as soon as you notice you’re in a dream. It has prevented you from fulfilling many of your fantasies with your celebrity crushes because you always feel like the scenarios are too good to be true.

Then you hear the unblessed noise that woke you up one more time, noticing it’s been the sound of your doorbell this whole time. Finally finding your phone, after your hands grop on your bedside table looking for it, you see it’s 3:27 in the morning. Why the hell would anyone ring your doorbell in such an ungodly hour? 

Well, a burglar wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? You reason, trying not to freak the fuck out. 

The doorbell rings one more time, then you hear what seems to be a muffled attempt at verbal communication. Should you go to the door? Should you call the cops? You have no idea. 

It could be one of your neighbors looking for help. What if it was an emergency?

“Mrs. Hong? Is that you?” You blurted, voice a bit shaky from the anticipation. 

You hear another muffled response, not really understanding anything this person is saying, but you know it definitely isn’t Mrs. Hong. 

Fuck, Y/n, are you stupid? Whoever this is, now they know you’re inside!

You feel your whole body starting to tremble, heartbeat racing as the worst images possible flash through your mind. You want to go back to your bedroom, call the cops and hide under your bed until someone comes to save you from whoever is this weirdo at your doorstep. The sound of your parents’ voice saying you were crazy for moving out of their house to live by yourself echo through your brain and you can feel the tears start brewing in the corners of your eyes when you’re able to distinguish a word from the muffled bumbling from outside your door.

You are positive you heard the person finishing their sentence with a “babe”. Instantly, you feel a warm wave of relaxation invading your body, in contrast with the uneasy feeling you had a minute ago. You know exactly who it is on the other side of your door. Looking at the peephole, you find the exact person you expected to see leaning against your door frame. Park Jimin. A very, very drunk Park Jimin, from what you can see.

Your hand goes straight to the door handle, opening the door with a blunt movement. When he realizes what’s happening, his eyes land on yours and you see them turning into the shapes of small crescent moons, as a smile rests on his plumpy lips. 

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, Jimin-ssi! What the fuck are you doing here?” you bark, watching the smile disappear from his face. 

“Sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to scare you! I just want to talk to you and if I’m here, it’s your fault! I could have just called, but you fucking blocked me everywhere”, he pants in a high pitched voice, one he uses when he’s allowing his irritating to take control over him. 

“It’s almost four in the morning… You’re clearly drunk… I really don’t want to do this, Jimin”, you state, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Please, get the fuck out of here before you disturb my neighbors too”.  

Slamming the door on his face, you turn on your heels towards your bedroom, but before you’re able to walk four steps in its direction, Jimin’s voice can be heard from the inside again. Only this time, he didn’t have his face buried on your door and he was shouting in front of your house.

“Y/n-ssi! I just want to talk to you, pleaseee”, and the there was a knock on your door. “Y/n-ssi! Let me in, Y/n-ssi!”

You feel your blood boiling like magma in your veins, knowing you gave him the perfect weapon to use against you when you mentioned your neighbors. He knows you wouldn’t want these people to talk about you, to talk about the guy who was making a fuss by yelling your name for the whole street to hear in front of your house. You know him and you know that he knows how he plays his games, even when he’s drunk. In a blunt movement, you open the door and grab Jimin by his coat, this time, dragging him inside. 

For a second, the two of you just stare at each other. Due to the closeness, you’re able to sense the scent of his cologne, the musky one you gave him on the last Valentine’s day the two of you have spent as a couple. You hate him even more for not getting rid of what’s left of you in him. 

“You wanted to talk, didn’t you? So, talk!” You hiss, crossing your arms in front of your chest, feeling the need to break the silence before you did something you’d end up regretting.

He blinks, clearly still mesmerized by the fact that his lousy strategy to get you to do what he wanted worked. 

“I saw you left not even five minutes later from that… Well, awkward moment”, he wiggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly as he speaks. “You got yourself a nice suitor, huh?”

“The moment was awkward all thanks to you!” You fumed, unconsciously raising your pointer finger in his direction. “You asshole!”

“Why am I the asshole here? I just told him the truth!” He stated emphatically, with a flicker in his eyes you were just not able to identify precisely.

You were able to smell the alcohol in his breath, due to the closeness, and you felt even more disgusted to be in his presence.

“After cheating on me, you think you have the right to come back and interfere in my love life?” You whisper, angrily. It feels like the temperature in your house is rising, but you know it’s just your anger making you feel hot on the inside. “What did I do to you, Jimin-ssi? Why do you feel like destroying my life every chance you get? Just leave me alone!” 

You see your words have an effect on him and whatever he was about to say, you feel like your words have just stopped him from going on. He sighs loudly and when you were about to kick him out of your house, he starts again.

“Who… Who is he, babe?” He looked down as the question finally left his lips. 

You almost missed him, his arms around you, his voice whispering soft words in your ears. You almost allow his vulnerable demeanor to get to you.

Almost, but you know better.

Sighing, just like he did seconds ago, you voiced.

“Why do you even care, Jimin? You have nothing to do with my life anymore, you know?” You run your hands through your hair, nervously, looking away from him for a second. “As I’ve told you earlier today, you should’ve moved on by now, after all, you were the one who chatead. Own up to your mistakes, dear, you’re a grown ass man. And stop calling me babe!”

He looks at you, wide eyed after you snap at him. The fact that after all these months without seeing him, you were finally able to say everything you wanted to say to his face brought you some sort of relief. 

“When I saw you today, after all the time we’ve been apart, I realized that's the problem… I have nothing to do with your life anymore. I miss you, Y/n”.

It's so hard to hear him saying those things. Mostly, because, deep down you know you miss him too. It hurts so bad to know that you can never have him back, despite loving him. You'd never be able to truly let go of what he did to you. Acknowledging it was the hardest part, it felt like the lump in your throat just got bigger. 

“You can't change that unless you have a time machine”, you said under your breath, more to yourself than to him.

“I can't believe he took this away from me too… Fuck…", he snorts, rubbing his face harshly with both of his hands.”

“What are you trying to say? Who is he?", you ask him impatiently. You would not have him just throwing crazy and riddled information at you at this point. "Are you talking about Taehyung?

“No. It's not about Taehyung. Nevermind", his eyelids drop as he mumbles.

“Really? Is that how shit’s gonna go down? You come to my house to pester me in the middle of the night like you had the right to still be in my life after what you did? And you talk in riddles, like, if there's something I still need to know, now's the only time!” You stop, trying to find the right words to try to get to him as much as he did to you. He didn't move, his eyes were still closed as you spoke. As he made no move, you felt like you could continue. “You know what’s funny, though? I guess if things had worked out with miss thing, you wouldn’t be here right now. So, thank you for showing me you’re just a lonely piece of shit. It's good to know you're in pain too”. 

“You still have no idea, do you?” He snorts, mouth agape as he eyed you.

“Oh well, I don't know if I do. Please, enlighten me, Jimin-ssi. Did the illuminati make you cheat on me or something?"” Scorn spewing out of your words.

He looks at you once more, his eyes burning with longing. It just made your blood boil even more inside of your veins.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t even say how all of that broke my heart in, like, one million pieces”, he whimpered lowly, his head down as the words left his lips, not really entertaining your mockery.

You snort. 

“How all of that broke your heart? Have you considered that if you had not cheated, we’d still be together? Have you thought about how all of that broke my heart?” You poke him angrily on his chest, feeling the unwelcome misery settling once more in your chest once you heard Jimin’s words. “It was all your fault, Jimin! If we’re not together right now, it's your fault! You broke my heart!”

You vomit all those words at him, holding back the years with every single bit of strength left in you. His eyes travel up to meet yours as you spoke, Jimin’s features are clouded by something you can’t quite name. Is it regret? It must be, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Maybe he’s genuinely sad about it too, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Or maybe there was really something he was trying to tell. 

Whatever it is, hee deserves to deal with it on his own. You don’t have to allow him to drag you back to the hole of pain you were able to come out of, very recently, by the way.

“You’re right, Y/n-ssi. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He sighs, running his hands through his dark locks that fell to the sides, looking partially messed, in a very attractive way. “Again, I’m sorry. For everything. Maybe, someday-”.

“Yeah, sure. It doesn’t matter anymore”, you cut him short. You just can’t do this anymore, you can’t listen to him whining. Not without bursting into tears and you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him. 

On the other hand, the attraction you feel for him, right now, standing before your front door, his features barely lit by the only source of light coming from your bedroom behind you. You hate him for still looking great, for still messing with you, for still being the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You hate yourself too for feeling like that about him, after all this time.

“Is… This guy. Is he nice to you?” He breaks the silence, his voice as soft as feather touch against your ears.

“He’s just a guy, Jimin. But just stop… Stop asking”, you mutter. “Please, just go”.

He nods, still gazing at you with his magnetic dark eyes.

“I hope you know this”, he points to himself and to you, as he jerks his head in your direction. “Us. Me being here. It means I still have very strong feelings for you. Very strong feelings I can’t control, I guess”.

“I don’t wanna know, Jimin-ssi. Really”.

“I’m sorry, but by the way you still look at me… I’m sure there's still something there. Maybe you’ve done a nice job locking it away, but I know it’s still there”.

“I don’t-”, you stop yourself, and turn to him with a louder tone. “Just fucking go!”

The control you had over yourself so far was gone, you just want him out of your sight. Hopefully, out of your mind too.

When it finally seemed like he was ready to leave, he turned to you once more, gazing intensely into your eyes. Before you had the chance to tell him the get the fuck out for the last time, he had his arms around your waist and his lips found yours; hungrily. 

His kiss was exactly the way you remembered. Intense. Passionate. Breathtaking. Right. It just felt like home. His tongue pursues yours in a fervent twirl and your tongue corresponds in the same intensity. His hand travels upwards, resting on the nape of your neck, spreading a pleasurable warm sensation where it touched. 

He pins you up against the wall, his lips not leaving yours for a split second. He pressed his body against yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck, enclosing any space that could be left between your body and his. He felt so warm against you and the way his touch felt against your skin made it impossible for your brain to think about anything other than the right now and how much you longed for him.

“I’ve missed this”, he said softly, his plumpy lips against yours. “So much”.

He presses his lips against yours once more, but now you realize you can taste the soju on his tongue. Then, you come to your senses.

You’re missing your drunk ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night. This is the man who cheated on you. The man who made a fool out of you and didn’t give a fuck about your feelings. You swore you wouldn't allow him to touch ever again. Here you are, breaking your own promise. Worse part is, maybe he won’t even remember anything that was said or done when we wakes up tomorrow.

In an instinctive impulse, you push him as hard as you can, trying to create as much distance as possible from Jimin. You don't face him long enough to know what happens to him, besides the confused look on his face after forcing him away from you.

“Jimin-ssi… Just get the fuck out of my house”, you start babbling, but trying to control the wobbliness in your voice. 

You hate yourself for being so weak, all it took him was a kiss and you almost dropped all the defenses you’d worked so hard to build up.

“Y/n, just hear me out, please… I wanna tell you everything”, he cried out, his somewhat wobbly voice coming from behind you.

“Jimin, please!” You murmur, imploring. “Just leave me alone.

And there was silence. It felt like time had stopped, you just focused on not allowing the weight on your chest to take over you. You don’t know how long it takes, but you hear your front door being slammed, then all you could do was allow yourself the tears you were holding back to roll down your cheeks in an attempt to release this pain from your chest.

Hi!! Love your stories ❤️ Which drivers you wrote for? Can you make a list of it? Thanks 👍🏻

Hello sweetie, how are you? I'm happy to know that you like what I write, it's great to know!! I currently have stories for Sainz, Ocon and Wolff for now, in the future I plan to include Lewis and Charles. Here is the masterlist link 🫶🏼

Could you do SMAU for Toto Wolff with wife reader? Someone asked them how they met and she answered their first meeting while Toto was all embarrassed and hiding his face with his hands. Just something fluff and cute. Thanks!! :))

Hey sweet, how are you? I don't know if I can make this request :( I've never worked with SMAU so I'm practically a virgin in this part of fanfictions. I'll keep this request until I have more experience, okay?

can I make a request about toto and the reader having an age gap reader being in her 20s and they were secretly dating even tho Lewis and George a few others know it too but not the world but reader came to the track with toto showing the world that they are together

Oh sweetie, I apologize for the delay, I was a little busy this week, but I just updated the blog with your request, I hope you like it, I think I left too much angst(?)

Thank you for the order, it came at a great time 🫶🏼

Could you do Peter 'Bono' Bonnington with wife reader? She was at the garage, accompanied him. George had some technical issue and that's life only Lewis on the track for the team. After some battle, Lewis finally won and the garage erupted into chaos!! He couldn't stop smiling. It's been such a long time for the duo. Bono was looking so good on that podium. You decide how it goes. Fluff and maybe suggestive. Thanks!! :))

Something for Lewis and Bono. They deserve it!!

Hey sweetie, I managed to advance your order today (blame Lewis' beautiful victory for stimulating my creativity) and I hope it lived up to your expectations — s yes I am obsessed with validation from my readers!

I focused a little more on Bono (oops) but still delivered the dose of romance that you expect

You deserve it too, Pete! || Peter 'Bono' Bonnington

HII I LOVE YOUR STORIES YOU DESERVE MORE HYPEEE

OMFG I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT okay, I've already deactivated caps lock, I'm so fucking happy that you like what I write, this is so, so satisfying, you have no idea.

Oh darling, I don't even know what to say, do you really think so? So I think I need to work hard to get it 😭😭

Thank you for your love, sweet, this is really important to me 🫶🏼