That The Girl Hugging The Arm Of The Other One Was Actually Disabled And She Needed Help To Walk Properly - Tumblr Posts

crocheting it was a really shitty day and i don't want to talk about it. i just need to yap i will probably unknowingly say some borderline deranged traumatizing things further but idk its just the way i am my existence itself is a major trigger warning so be aware the only highlight of the day was the (i suppose) wlw couple i saw at the subway while pulling out shit like burdock out of my dress i won't elaborate on the last piece can i be a little mysterious and less pathetic so the wlw couple. one girl hugged the arm of the other girl and put the head on her shoulder. i saw that and was like “damn” if you have a person you can willingly do things like that with you should know i would kill god just to be in your shoes please cherish it i didnt really look at them that much but then we got off on the same station and somehow they managed to overtook me they were right ahead of me still all over each other and then it has striked me that the girl hugging the arm of the other one was actually disabled and she needed help to walk properly actually they were faster than me because my legs today are a total mess lol it hurts like hell just to make a step but this is obviously just a temporary inconvenience and its nowhere near the problem that girl has i don't compare myself to her in this regard but ive found this parallel kinda poetic like how i as a relatively healthy individual with no major health issues was envious as fuck of those two how i was walking in 0.25x with a shit ton of thoughts in my head while she was limping happily with a girl in her hand and smiling no pity just envy and pure admiration. i want what they have but im not sure if I deserve it. or actually need it if i actually had something like that in my hands i don't know whether or not i would crush it into pieces and then cry over it to the day i die. do you get it. am i too dramatic or too shallow as a person originally i planned to talk about another thing entirely but this day has crushed my head and heart like a hammer and now its turned to mush no i guess it was a mush since long ago. then lets say this day was just crap. or life itself nothing really happened to me but it reminded me of how helpless i am as a person vs the world and i hate being helpless maybe ill tell you the story of how i lost the sensation in my fingertips another time when im not that traumatised by life events (i lost it by saving a damsel in distress after walking out of the night bar a year ago. its a clickbait)