The Bullet Farmer As Karen Smith - Tumblr Posts
Mad Max: Fury Road x Mean Girls #001
Imperator Furiosa: Why didn't you just keep roaming the Wasteland?
Max Rockatansky: I figure it was time for me to socialize.
Nux: Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little smeg like you.
Max Rockatansky: What are you talking about?
Imperator Furiosa: You're a regulation Road Warrior.
Max Rockatansky: ... What?
Nux: OWN IT.
Imperator Furiosa: How do you spell your last name again, Max?
Max Rockatansky: It's Rockatansky. R-O-C-K-A-T-A-
Imperator Furiosa: Yeah, I'm just gonna stick with MAD MAX.
Max Rockatansky: ...
Nux: In the name of all that is shiny and chrome, would you look at the Bullet Farmer's war outfit?!
Max Rockatansky: *turns to look at three intimidating men from across the Citadel that caught Nux's attention*
Imperator Furiosa: Of ~course~ all the Brothers are in the same war party.
Max Rockatansky: Who are the Brothers?
Nux: They're desert royalty. If the Wasteland was AUS Weekly, they would always be on the cover.
Imperator Furiosa: *points out the Bullet Farmer to Max who is showing off his sniper rifles*
Imperator Furiosa: That one there, that's the Bullet Farmer. He's one of the ~deadliest~ guys you will ever meet. Nux met him once at the Bullet Farm last year.
Nux: He can shoot targets from a hundred yards away.
Max Rockatansky: ...
Imperator Furiosa: *points out the People Eater to Max who is fondling his pierced bitch tits*
Imperator Furiosa: That really big one? That's the People Eater.
Nux: He's ~totally~ rich because he's the ruler of Gas Town and controls all the guzzoline.
Imperator Furiosa: The People Eater knows everybody's business. He knows everything about everyone.
Nux: That's why his body is so big — it's full of secrets.
Imperator Furiosa: *points out the Immortan Joe to Max who is being carried on the shoulders of several War Boys*
Max Rockatansky: ...
Imperator Furiosa: And evil takes a diseased human form in Immortan Joe. Now don't be fooled, cause he may seem like your typical selfish, backstabbing, horse-faced, tyrannical warlord douchebag. But in reality, he is ~so much more~ than that.
Nux: He's the king, the star. Those other two are just his little workers.
Max Rockatansky: ...
Imperator Furiosa: Immortan Joe. How do I even ~begin~ to explain Immortan Joe?
Rictus Erectus: Immortan Joe is ***FLAWLESS!
Slit: He has a War Rig, and a Doof Wagon, and a kickass Gigahorse.
Coma the Doof Warrior: I hear his skull mask is insured for 10,000 gallons of mother's milk.
The Organic Mechanic: I hear he does car commercials... beyond the Wasteland!
Miss Giddy: His favorite Wife is the Splendid Angharad.
Corpus Callosum: One time, he rode all the way to Valhalla.
Scrotus: And the V8 told him he was shiny and chrome!
Prime Imperator: One time, he punched me in the face. It was awesome!