The Cloverfield Paradox - Tumblr Posts
Dark Matter - Ernst Schmidt (The Cloverfield Paradox)
The movie was kinda trash, but Daniel Brühl's character was hot, and that was enough for me to write this cause I'm hyperfixated
2.7k words🤙🏻
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It was empty in space. You've always been told that, but you couldn't really fathom how empty it was until you had to live there.
It had already been a year since you joined the Cloverfield, in a seemingly impossible attempt to generate infinite energy for your suffering planet. The task felt unobtainable at first, but being told about the Shepard and its capabilities, you at least had to try.
You were brought on as a technician, alongside seven other members of this mission. In the beginning, you were full of hope and excitement for what was to come. Some thought of the awards and metals you might receive if you were to pull off such an accomplishment, but you weren't in it for the recognition or fame, you just wanted to save your planet. But that childlike wonder and awe you started out with quickly lost its glamour.
You already knew it would be hard to be away from your friends and family, you knew it would take several months or even years to pull it off. You remembered how proud your family was when you were approached to take this job, and they were so adamant that you take it that you couldn't really refuse. Plus, you were asked to go to fricking space, you weren't really convinced that you would have much trouble deciding even if the people you cared about didn't want you to go. But you missed your family dearly, and you were lonely.
Ernst was really the only person on the mission team that you genuinely got along with, everyone else you only saw as coworkers, people that you have to get along with. But with Ernst, it was so easy. You felt connected to him. You both were somewhat hotheaded, but with Volkov constantly finding fault with Ernst solely because he was German, you couldn't really blame him for being a bit fiery. And you had your own issues with Volkov, so you both could share in your annoyance with the man.
You were lonely most of the time, but you could find comfort in Ernst.
It wasn't really a surprise to you, but on your daily call with your family, they had told you that your grandmother had passed away. She was old and already had a foot in the grave, but you had been close with her once upon a time, so it did hurt a lot. She had been sick, and was getting sicker every day. But when you were told she was better all of a sudden, you couldn't help thinking that that was it for her in the back of your mind, and it seemed you were correct.
You didn't really know what to do. You were in pain, but you still had a job to do, so you couldn't just shut down. It was an important day, as you all were going to try to run the tests for the Shepard.
You got dressed in your crew uniform with an emotionless expression, and your face stayed that way. You just knew that if you allowed yourself to feel it, you would break down, and nobody looks professional during a breakdown.
You greeted everyone as you normally did, albeit with a more monotone voice, but you hoped that they just thought you didn't get enough sleep. Plus, nobody would really care anyways. You thought Ava might, just because she had to leave a family of her own behind, but you wouldn't feel comfortable opening up to her. And you absolutely did not want Ernst to know, he did not need any more issues to deal with, especially with how rude Volkov had been the past week, even more than usual. But unfortunately for you, the Russian did seem to notice your unusual mood.
"Wake up on wrong side of the bed, Принцесса?" The man teased, clearly in a sour mood of his own. You just sighed and chose to ignore him, not having the energy to start a fight. "What? No snarky comment for me this time?" He smirked, and you seriously wanted to punch him.
A waste of oxygen, you thought.
"Leave her be, man." Mundy voiced. "We don't need the negative energy today."
Ernst walked up to you as you watched your bagel getting 3D printed, already feeling your mouth going dry at the thought of having to eat it. You almost flinched when Ernst placed his hand at the small of your back. "You alright?" He asked.
You tried to smile at him and nodded. "Yeah, 'm fine. Just sleepy."
"I've had trouble sleeping too, so I understand."
"Come on, y'all!" The commander's voice echoed. "We gotta start running these tests now if we ever wanna be ready for launch day."
It was a very difficult day. The tests were a complete bust and it felt like the whole mission was just a bad idea in the first place. And Volkov just kept criticizing everything that you did, it was bad enough that he did it to Ernst, but it seems that Volkov somehow just knew that you were already having an off day. You just wanted to escape to your room and cry, maybe just sleep for a week. But you still had to log the notes that you made into the system, but that asshole couldn't leave you alone. "Another failure, who could've guessed?" Volkov snarked. "I swear, if you and Schmidt weren't on this mission, we would've succeeded by now."
"Please, Volkov, I'm not in the mood." You all but begged, the weight of your bad news getting heavier and heavier. Just a little while longer, and you can retreat back to the privacy of your bedroom.
You heard Volkov let out a little laugh, flinching when he forcibly turned you around to face him. "What's the matter with you?" He asked, definitely not out of the goodness of his heart, but only to tease you more.
"None of your business." You snapped, turning back around and trying to finish your work as fast as you could.
"Jesus, who died to make you all weepy, or is it just that time of the month?" Big mistake.
You broke, and you couldn't handle the man anymore. Before you could even consider the consequences, you balled up your fist and punched Volkov square in the nose. You had never punched anyone before, so that's probably why you didn't break his nose, honestly, it almost hurt your hand more. But you watched with satisfaction as blood poured freely down his face, an angered and shocked expression on his face.
"Cука." He growled, balling up his own hand tightly. You braced yourself as Volkov drew his fist back, closing your eyes and waiting for the pain to come. But thankfully, it never did.
"What the hell is going on?" Mundy exclaimed, holding Volkov back from getting his revenge.
"The whore punched me!" Volkov spat, holding his nose, blood seeping out of the gaps in his fingers.
"Well, you probably deserved it then. Come on, let's get you to Monk."
Despite being appreciative of Mundy's discreetness and overall favor towards whatever reason you could've given for your impulsive attack, you knew Volkov would take the first chance he got to blab to the commander and try to get you punished. But until then, you decided to hide out in your room, cradling your now injured hand in your lap, watching as it slowly bruised and throbbed.
Now, you were both in emotional and physical pain.
Tears welled up in your eyes when your hand would clench up and release, pain shooting all the way up to your elbow. You didn't know if something was broken, definitely sprained, but you didn't have it in you to care. You thought of your family, your grandmother, and all you wanted was to be home on Earth, even if it was an absolute shit show and you were probably better off in space. You wished you never had joined this stupid mission in the first place, you would've been there for your grandmother's passing if you hadn't.
"Fuck!" You yelled, throwing whatever was in your vicinity at the wall; apparently, an empty hydro flask. You hated feeling like this. You hated not being in control of your feelings like you usual were, everything was thrown off-kilter and you wished it would stop.
You bit your lip hard as tears fell from your eyes without permission, but that was just was you needed, even if you consciously didn't want that to happen. Feeling the tears stain your cheeks, hitting your bruised hand as they dripped off your chin, finally made you allow yourself to sob. You never felt lonelier than you did right now, crying by yourself in your empty, dark, and cold room. That is, until you heard a soft knock on your door.
You quickly wiped away any tears left on your face, shaking your head to try and force your feelings away, brushing yourself down to seem somewhat presentable for whoever was outside your cabin. You weren't that surprised to see it was Ernst, but it didn't make you less flustered when you realized he was analyzing your face, his expression turning into one of concern, which is what you didn't want. "May I come in?" He asked, not really giving you time to answer as he walked past you into your room. "You punched Volkov." He stated as you closed your door, turning back to face him with a frown.
"I'm willing to bet Kiel isn't too happy with me." You replied.
Ernst chuckled. "No, he isn't. But I've punched that bastard many times, so I don't think you'll have to worry about being punished. Plus, what can he do, throw you out of the station?"
"I suppose not. So, why are you here, Schmidt?" You asked, minding your hand and hiding it by crossing your arms.
Ernst furrowed his brows, taking a step closer to you, causing you to involuntarily take a step back. "You haven't been yourself today. You've been quiet, spacey, and you've never been the type to resort to violence; not like me. Though, Volkov probably had that punch coming, especially with how badly he's been treating you, which is also something you don't take quietly. I'm…I'm worried about you, Y/n." Your lips twitched upwards for a split second, Ernst rarely ever calling you by your first name, even in private. "And I know you're hiding that hand from me."
You could only watch as Ernst gently uncrossed your arms, putting on his glasses and wincing when he saw your slightly swollen hand. "Oh, Schatz, why didn't you go to Monk right away? Come on, let's get you to-"
"No." You refused, pulling your hand away, ignoring Ernst's confused expression. "I just…I don't-" You sighed, taking a seat on your bed. In truth, you were on the verge of a breakdown and you didn't want to be outside the privacy of your room when you eventually broke. One look at Ernst, and you could tell he understood, nodding lightly.
"I'll be right back." Ernst voiced, exiting your room and hearing his footsteps get further and further away. And several minutes later, Ernst came back, holding an ice pack and painkillers. "Take these, and let me look at that hand. Be thankful I know basic first aid."
"Thank you." You mumbled, quickly swallowing down the pain meds, but wincing when Ernst took a hold of your hand once more.
"Sorry." He said softly, trying to be as gentle as possible. "I don't think anything is broken. You're lucky. Volkov is known for his hardheadedness." He joked, making you crack a smile, which made him smile. His expression soon turned serious, but kept his gaze as soft as his hands on you. "So, are you going to tell me what's got you down, mein Liebling?"
It didn't take but a few seconds for you to break under his gaze, your eyes soon burning with overflowing tears. You brought your non-injured hand up to cover your mouth to keep your whimpers from escaping your throat, lowering your head in embarrassment. You kept trying to stifle your sobs as you felt Ernst move in closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you to sit on his lap where he held you in a firm but gentle hug. "It's okay." He whispered. "Just let it out, mein Liebe."
The dam finally broke at full force, the comfort of knowing that someone you trusted was with you made it easier to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You buried your face in his shoulder, tears running off your cheeks and hitting his jumpsuit. You shook in his arms from your racking sobs, and trying to keep it under control only made it worse. You knew you'd be humiliated after you settled down, but in the moment, you couldn't care less. Though, you still felt bad that you were being like this with Ernst without him even knowing why.
"My…my grandma died last night." You hiccupped, gripping onto Ernst's arm to help ground yourself. "I wasn't close with her towards the end, so I didn't think it would effect me this much. But I guess I was wrong." You chuckled bitterly, angrily wiping away your tears.
"I'm so sorry, Liebe." Ernst kissed your non-injured hand, and you tried to ignore how it made your heart skip a beat.
"I tried not to let it interfere with my work, but since the tests failed…maybe Volkov was right, it was my fault."
"He said that to you?" Ernst questioned immediately, making you regret ever mentioning it. "No. Volkov is a fuckin' arsehole and he can eat shit. It absolutely was not your fault. That fuckin' prick, I should find that bastard right now and-"
"Don't." You interrupted. "Don't. It's not worth it. He doesn't need another bloody nose."
"I disagree." Ernst snarked, but calmed down once he saw your somber expression. "But I won't, I'll stay with you as long as you want me to." He lightly wiped a small piece of hair that had fallen over your eyes, tucking his behind your ear, such an intimate gesture causing your face to heat up. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked softly, gently squeezing your hip.
"Yes." You smiled weakly, caressing the slight stubble that built-up on his face. You leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose, a more courageous moment for you. The look on Ernst's face almost made you regret such an action, until he himself leaned in; not kissing your nose, but your lips.
Your eyes fluttered shut as his mouth moved against yours sensually, making your head spin as he kissed you like it was the only time he could. You moaned as he massaged his tongue with yours, taking his time in exploring your mouth, keeping a firm grip on your waist and roughly squeezing sparingly. And when you thought he'd take things further, he stopped, just as you started to ache for him. He rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily like he just ran a marathon. "You're exquisite."
"Then why'd you stop?" You huffed desperately, tugging at his shirt.
"It's not like I wanted to. Trust me, I would love to continue, it's just…well, grief can sometimes…uh, increase libido." He cleared his throat nervously, a tad bit overwhelmed. "I just don't want you to regret it, this. Because if it wasn't obvious already, I really like you. And I don't want to jump into anything too quickly, especially when you're in such a vulnerable state."
You smiled genuinely for the first time since you got the news, his clear respect for you warming your heart. "I wouldn't regret it. You're the only person on this station that I truly care about, and I have feelings for you too. But if it's important to you that we wait until I'm in a better, then that's okay. We have all the time in the world up here. But, I still don't want to be alone."
"Well, I wasn't planning on leaving, Liebling."
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No thoughts, just buff German man🥵