THE HEARTBREAK IN THEIR FACES I CAN'T - Tumblr Posts

SPOILERS GO2

So I had a dream:

*Azi and Crowley discussing/ fighting after all the stuff that happened and they can talk in peace*

*crowley expecting an apology etc and nearly screamed at azi*

Azi: "but.. It was my First"

Crowley: "Wot -" (are you talking about now again?!)

Azi: "It was my first kiss, Crowley"

*silence*

Azi: "And you pressed it on me. Without- (asking me?) Without love. Just.. just fear.

Crowley looks at him with an untitled expression, not sure what to say. In his eyes, he gave him all the love he could ever give.

Azi: "Fear of being abandoned. Of being alone. Like you felt you always were."

Crowley wants to say something and his mouth opens, behind his glasses building up a small tear-

Azi: "But I was there. You were never completely alone. And you know that. *He gets quiet* I did not deserve that.

I- *voice shaking* forgave you for kissing me.. like this - (in a hurry, without content and with nearly only desperation).

Crowley: "You didn't even listen to me back then, huh?"

*He takes off the sunglasses, first time in presence of the angel since the kiss. But he doesn't look at him. He's cleaning them with a small peace of fabric - looking down, eyebrows raised*

Crowley: "I wanted you to be with me. You didn't quite listen, did ya? I had already lost you! In your angel head you were already decorating your new Office in Heaven! I-"

*fastly puts sunglasses back on to look at Azi. Sees him there - finally listening. He seems to be able to understand it this time.

He takes them off again. Eye meets eye*

Crowley: "Maybe I was desperate. I mean- who wouldn't, if.. ugh.. if maybe the. The love of your life, perhaps - I couldn't let you go. After all I knew, heaven didn't want to treat you right! - you didn't know what happened in heaven, what happened to Gabriel!"

And then my dream faded, I am sorry.

But I feel like this was an healing experience after the ending of Season 2.