The Moon Wants To Hide - Tumblr Posts

OK that's it I admit my horrid defeat he's [STATIC] what have I done I know it's a road to acceptance but I think I crashed my magic wheel at the destination heck I'm reading this on my way home on a bus and my nausea isn't from the ride its from whatever f*cking feeling this makes me feel 😭

- 🌘

The impulse that is me trying to get over my fear of acceptance and I'm doing it by requesting some delicious angst/lh ily sherbet-nee. May I request 💧 4. “Before you go. Was there something I could’ve said to make your heartbeat better?” with Azul :)

Storm to Weather

Author’s Note: RRAS BUNSO, MY CHOLD Ooooo! Angst! Hehehe. Time to pull out all the stops. I’ve wanted to write some reader x Azul angst, too but haven’t had a good idea for it, thus explaining it being so late. ( ; - ; ) also reader isn't Yuu/Mc

Trigger Warnings: no fluff, only Angst :)c

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: It wasn’t a secret you and Azul hated each other. From differences in moral codes, mental processing, and overall demeanor. You were polar opposites, yet one day, Azul noticed the stoic expression you proudly wore breaks ever so slightly. He graciously takes notes of this and asks what plagues you so. After a bizarre, rare heart-to-heart, weeks later, word had it you left for your world. A flurry of emotions overcome him. Was it really hate that he felt for you?

Azul Ashengrotto tiredly walks through the institution’s hallways, books in hand, walking to his last class of the day. The carpeted floors muffle the gentle click of his dress shoes. Azul straightened his posture and pushed up his glasses. Today was a long day, even though he had to admit that. Perhaps it’s because he had Professor Vargas’ class at the crack of dawn for his first period, or maybe the fact Floyd was in his ‘good moods.’ The taller eelmer pestered everyone he crossed paths with, making some of their peers complain to the Octavinelle leader.

One more class to get over, then time to open the Mostro Lounge for business. In the corner of his gaze, he saw a familiar figure sitting alone on a bench, looking rather odd if he did say so himself. It wasn’t a common occurrence to see you alone and in a somewhat melancholy manner too. What a rare instance this is undoubted, Azul thought to himself.

Despite how incredibly rocky your relationship was now, it wasn’t always like that before. Azul would constantly pester you with his underhanded methods of ‘kindly’ offering a way to lift your sorrows and grant you a wish; all you need to do is to tell him.

But that was until your fights over before the second year ensued. Your masks of poise and elegance immediately dropped when you got used to Twisted Wonderland and Night Raven College. You never grasped how he'd be so vindictive and calculating with his intelligence. You'd admit he was brilliant, to a scary degree, but the reasons and his lack of… well moral sense made it hard for you even to stand his discussions in class.

He never thought he’d hate you so much for meddling in his plans. You were just an annoyance jabbing into his snarky remarks in and out of classes. Azul never gave you much thought initially because who would? You weren't spectacular. You didn't have anything that Azul could use for his benefit. You had no form of identification, no unspeakable riches, or a royal lineage. No magic, only a pest that bothered and messed with his plans.

You didn’t see eye to eye, and honestly, in some way, you liked that you had people who didn’t care for you and vice versa. In your mind, it made you all the more humbled instead of an egotistical person, grounding you to reality. He made no effort to understand you personally and had no motive unless you had something, but today Ashengrotto made an exception. People merely suffering are the types he can easily manipulate to his will. He had no problem using his sharp tongue to bind you to his contracts. If he could say so himself, you did look like you needed some of his merciful benevolence.

The silver-haired man ignored the odd feeling that seemingly weighed on his heart. He deduces it to be a strange bundle of nerves alongside wanting to scout out what ailed you. He’d no doubt face cold-shoulder scolding on your part, but it was worth a shot to show and act the part of utter kindness. His legs carried him to the front of the wooden bench you sat on, his blue eyes glinted with faux compassion, his icy cold logic turning the wheels in his head, running through possible ways to reel in another poor soul.

Azul opened his mouth and spoke with his usual politeness, yet still, it had hints of backhandedness. His lips curl into his well-crafted smile. “Dear me, what seems to plague you? It's not normal seeing someone like you so mournful. What seems to be the problem, and if you need, I'd love to be a shoulder to lean on.”

A steady, deep breath through your nose as you don't spare him even a glance, only moving your unreadable gaze to the large pearl white clouds that crowded the blue sky. You ignore him, too, absorbed into your thoughts, and quite frankly, you didn’t want to deal with him right now. Azul felt a little vein pop up on his forehead. You blatantly ignored the questioning second year, but he didn’t let it show as he gently prodded the student. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to get one of the more wary students to reveal any of their secrets. The second year gently pressed onward but in a little sterner tone.

“May I sit beside you? Is there something on your mind that I can help you with? I'm delighted to help, you need only ask.” The logical man asked his rhetorical question as he scanned your face, trying to gauge any reaction to your forlorn visage. He was greeted with nothing, not a disgusting side-eyed glance toward him or a subtle note of compliance.

It unnerved him, with how hollow you acted towards him, not even a glance or a sign of acknowledgment. Perhaps you finally had enough of him and his antics to ignore him? He meant so little to you now that you work as if he's nothing to you? Why did that sting him so much? Ah. It must be his pride. Yes. It's definitely his pride that hurts. It can’t be anything else.

An irritated sigh leaves his lips, his exasperation covering Azul’s wary, pipped curiosity. You gently pat the lone bench for him to sit down, scooting further away. You still had that odd look on your face, and the Octopus merman sat down, albeit slowly. You felt Azul’s quizzical gaze, and another heavy sigh rolls from your lips. Why were you about to talk to him? Why did you even tell him to sit down? Was it because you felt that much at a loss to reveal a sliver of what Azul thrived on? It didn’t matter, actually, about what he’d do because this piece of cryptic information wouldn’t be deemed beneficial anymore after you take your leave of Twisted Wonderland.

It shocked you down to your very core when Crowley came bounding to you saying that he, after many trials and errors, finally! Finally, found a way to send you back home. How strange, that word lifted your anxiety and sorrow, yet, why did it fill you with a storm welling inside you? You asked the Dean to give you a few weeks, despite how you desired to return home; ironically, you loved this place too, its people, its lore, and you got used to calling Twisted Wonderland your temporary home. You never thought the enigmatic headmaster would find a spell or portal to transport you back. It tore at your heart, but you can’t help but bitterly laugh at your predicament, straight out of some piece of fiction.

You already knew your answer, but you wanted to savor this world for a few more weeks before you bid farewell to only your closest confidants. It would hurt them, yes, but they didn't realize how it hurt seeing your friends have a family, friends, a world they knew to live in; you allowed yourself to enact your first and final selfish wish.

You wanted to go home; you had people waiting for you; you had family and friends you wanted to grow up with and your way of life. But with a beautiful twist, as your stay got prolonged, you made friends, made memories, and had a lot of bumps in the road, but you treasured this place too. That’s why you’d write personalized letters to your friends and ask them to send you off.

Out of the shroud of your chaotic thoughts, you turn your body to the end of the bench’s handrail. You prop your arm on the cold metal to look at Azul last time. He was undoubtedly busy in the coming weeks, and to be quite honest. You weren’t sure how you felt about him. It was complicated. Perhaps it’s an odd mix of admiration for how he is now and hate for his glaring flaws. But looking at the well-dressed man now, a faint smile paints your lips.

“Say Azul? How do you deal with the aftermath of a storm at Sea?”

Your question and nonchalant yet melancholic posture threw him for a loop. His eyes widen, and his mouth is slightly agape. He shakes his surprise, gathering his thoughts as he presses his glasses further up his nose. Azul hastily answers the somewhat out-of-the-blue question. It felt like a red flag, as funny as it is. Were you planning something, or were you genuinely curious about life at sea? Perhaps you got spurred on by the large rain clouds that gathered in the distance? So many questions but so few answers popped into his mind.

“E-excuse me,” Azul utters out as he forms his words. He continues as you look on with interest. “Well, it depends on where the merpeople you’re asking live. Deep sea merfolk like myself don’t feel such a difference like the rain or thunder like surface dwellers. There are times when the currents are too strong, meaning food becomes scarce in certain parts. But others that reside closer to the surface may build shelters or swim to the depths. It all rather depends.”

A smooth knowledgable delivery as he glances towards your face again. What a fitting way for him to answer, you thought to yourself. Azul takes in that look is still plastered on your face as you thoughtfully nod at his answer. It still was unnerving, but perhaps that odd question was a gateway. He ignored the feeling bubbling in his chest the longer he felt he should ask more questions. Why did he care all of a sudden about your well-being? No matter, by some urge that before he could stop, he told you a story.

“There was a horrible storm where I was from when I was little; some of the people that lived further up north had to skip school for fear of the winds above carrying the frost and more dangerous waves. Many people had to stay in their homes for days, only rarely going out for food. The aftermath of that storm made people wary of the sea’s currents. On rare occasions, some got trapped in the depths and never escaped. I didn't go to school for a while after that storm, but that didn't mean I stopped my studies.”

While Azul was vague, it still dumbfounded him that he'd be this open to someone he hated, but perhaps that's what was needed to break through and wrap you around his finger. The clouds above you hung over the school, blanketing the atmosphere in dim light as some students could be heard in the distance.

“I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a,” You pause, gathering your thoughts as you find the words, “different world down there. Where I'm from, we did the same, for the school part, I mean. But flooding wasn't uncommon either. Depending on how bad the storm was, we’d have school canceled to help our families or something else. But thank you, Azul, for answering my questions, and I'm sorry for the rambles. I'll be going now.”

Rising from the bench, you gave him a bittersweet smile and left him still wondering if there was something it made you feel better; that look on your face was haunting in a sense.

It's been about two weeks since you and he had that peculiar interaction, and he couldn’t get it out of his head. Everything felt strange like you were giving him a sign of something upcoming.

“Did you hear? Kelpy left.” Floyd sadly stated at lunch as he placed his tray on the table.

You left Twisted Wonderland. So that’s why your friends had less spark in them. They were heartbroken. But why did his heart ache even more knowing he didn't even say goodbye?