Thetallgrasses - Tumblr Posts

vexed breath is blown out through frustrated lips , the kind that usually signals she's about to snap , sharp tongue ready to lash out . but this time , she holds back , feeling the weight of sidney’s stare . he's right to be pissed , and she knows it . her so - called friends having been awful for years , spreading lie after lie , and twisting stories for their own sick pleasure . noa might never have been an active participant but she didn't ever do anything to stop them either . the guilt ever gnawing at her conscious , but she'd gotten so good at ignoring it . until she couldn't anymore . weight is shifted from one foot to the other , arms crossing over her chest as if to shield herself from the disdain in the others' eyes . gaze like a knife , cutting through her . ‘ look , ’ she starts , voice low but steady . ‘ i’m not here to give you some bullshit apology or convince you i'm mother teresa ok . . . . and i'm definitely not trying to save my ass . ’ wholly gets why he would think that though . words are blunt , but there’s a softness to them , a vulnerability just under the surface . ‘ but . ’ voice firmer now . ‘ you really think i would be standing here talking to you if i thought you were a fucking serial killer ? really ?? ’ brow arches at him quizzically , the skepticism on her face unmistakable , touch of defiance in the way she squares her shoulders . ‘ the shit they're saying about you is really fucked up and you don't deserve this , you never have ⸻ and i'm done staying quiet about it . that's all . ’ sincerity clinging to each word that leave her lips .

…             roll of his eyes was instinctive as soon as they began to walk alongside him, had lived in the same small town their entire lives and yet, this must be the first time they had actually tried to have a conversation with him. and so, attempts at small talk were shrugged off, lighting a cigarette just to pacify the initial displeasure of being around them. a slow drag crackled down the tobacco, immediately at ease as soon as the smoke filled his lungs ; then billowing as he exhaled with a sigh, purposely blown towards their direction. but at least sid was finally looking at them. ❝ ... just what are you trying to do here ? befriending the weird loner dude because everyone says he's the killer and you're trying to save your ass ? kinda fucked up if you ask me ... ❞ sid knew what people thought of him : white trash and always caught up in some trouble, but killer he was not. still, sid found some slight amusement from the situation despite how affronted he might have sounded ; funny what people did when faced with the possibility of death. ❝ and last time i checked, it was your friends who started that rumor in the first place. what's next, some speech about peer pressure and how you're not really like them ? ❞ a small chuckle slipped out, then a pitying frown feigned on his lips.

open to : anyone. muse : sidney slaughter. twenty5. smalltown pariah and son of two notorious criminals, making him a prime suspect to an ongoing serial killing.

vigilant eyes watch for his reaction carefully , that humourless laugh of his finally breaking the silence between them . for a second , noa thinks she's going to get brushed off . but then he speaks . words softer than she could have ever expected , tinged with uneasiness , but also . . acceptance ? and she has to fight for her life to keep the smile off her lips . if she wasn't watching him so closely she would have missed the shift in his posture , the tension easing from his shoulders . not yet forgiveness , but a crack in the wall , at least . ‘ no excuses here , promise . ’ hand comes up to make a gesture of a cross over her heart , voice firm but no trace of defensiveness at all . he would be right in whatever he has to say to her , she deserved a lot worse , knows the magnitude of her screw up of not speaking up back when she should have . but she was a coward , and he ... an easy target , equalling an undeserved mess . admonishment is on the tip of her tongue as she watches him take another drag from his cigarette , along with the urge to tell him that those things will be the death of him if he doesn't give it up . . . but the words die in her mouth as quickly as they come . with the towns very own serial killer on the loose , not knowing who or why they're doing what they're doing , their chances of surviving another day are pretty abysmal as it is . unflinching under his scrutiny , the tiniest hint of a smile hooks itself into the corners of her mouth and tugs , bringing her delicate features to life . ‘ good , being let off the hook so fast would have been boring anyways . ’ tone is more challenging , letting him know that , this ⸻ as fucked as it is , is a good start . it's more than she had hoped for to begin with . but smile quickly fades and her teeth sink into her lush lower lip as she contemplates his question . if not me , then who ? the weight of it registers , and hesitation has her shaking her head from left to right , eyes meeting his . ‘ so , i haven't figured that part out ... yet . but what i do know is that ; there's more chance of it being one of these assholes out here easily pointing fingers , than you . ’ thumb gestures over her shoulder to the group of people congregated around front door to a shop , whispering and eyeing them suspiciously . ‘ watch it turn out to be mr. fucking stevens from down the street who has a wife and three shithead kids who's probably bored with his life and only feels joy or anything when he's out stabbing people to death . ’ tangent is unexpected , and she clears her throat trying to breeze past it . ‘ anyways ... i intend to find out . ’ the words are spoken almost inaudibly , eyes darting away from his face and back as she says them , almost as if afraid of being judged . or get killed in the process . ‘ you got anyone in mind ? ’ query leaves lips drenched in curiosity .

…             an immediate scoff rolled off sidney's tongue without much thought, automatic and unforgiving. maybe he was just utterly jaded from years of being ostracized, and maybe he had heard it all before : empty apologies and desperate attempts to clear their conscience after a good laugh at his expense. and he thought he knew where this was going, already made the choice to shrug off every word without really listening ────── until he recognized something in her voice. he wouldn't say he was the most perceptive person in the world, but it was very easy to recognize something that you had been deprived of for so long . . . an undercurrent of tenderness. vulnerability. empathy ??? but whatever one would want to call it, truth be told, sidney had no fucking idea what to do with it. he needed another drag from his cigarette, but he paused, smoke curling around his fingers and cigarette halfway to his lips. gaze was transfixed on her for a few moments, an unspoken tension hanging between them as he searched for any hint of deceit. and . . . nothing. sid remained quiet for a beat or two, letting noa's words settle. but instead of snapping back, instead of debating her sincerity, he could only huff out a laugh, low and humorless. ❝ well, shit ... ❞ voice barely above a whisper, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly in what might be the closest thing to vulnerability he'd ever slip in front of her. ❝ didn't think anyone would actually grow a spine ' round here. first time for everything, i guess. ❞ and unconsciously, his shoulders slumped, just a little, like some of the tension he'd been holding onto for so long was finally standing to bleed out. didn't mean they were suddenly friends, didn't mean he had forgiven her, but sid was willing to give her a chance, however begrudgingly. taking another drag, sid flicked ash to the ground, exhaling smoke with a resigned sigh. then, a split-second smile. ❝ alright, fine. you wanna stop pretending your friends are not a bunch of assholes ? good for you. doesn't mean you're off the hook yet. ❞ sid shrugged, lips curling into a faint smirk, sharp and a little daring, as if he was testing her. ❝ but maybe, you'll keep on surprising me. ❞ this was as close to acceptance as she was going to get for now, but noa had already gotten further than most. ❝ if not me, who then ? ❞ he had to ask, didn't really have anyone else to compare notes with . . . already rare enough for him not to be on someone's suspect list.

honeyed hues light up in surprise , a gentle warmth spreading on her cheeks , smile that blossoms on her lips filled with genuine affection . brief as it is she notes the way his lips curl as he returns the smile , filing away how well it suits him and damning the place that causes it to be a rare occurrence . . . . noa likes to think she's good at expecting the unexpected but sidney has been a complete revelation . hadn't anticipated him being as receptive as he was let alone going along with her so easily . not when everyone else had looked at her like she was out of her goddamn mind for even thinking of getting involved with something like this . but someone has to . they had after all already chosen their killer , hand picked and groomed by their gossip to be the ultimate villain . who else could it possibly be . the thought makes her blood boil . how they would rather sit in their homes , counting the beads on their rosaries , praying the dead bodies away than make an actual effort to rid their town of the evil they preach about so tirelessly . it's exhausting , but she'll be damned if she ever lets their fears rule her . smile soon fades , and she mourns it's loss with the dawning of too many grim realisations . ‘ i don't see anyone else trying . ’ sharp gaze fixes itself on the crowd behind them as she speaks , words spat with a quiet disgust , frustration evident in her tone . fists balling so tight that sharp nails dig into the soft flesh of her palms . would like nothing more than to march herself right up to them and unleash the fury that lay at the tip of her tongue . but theres no use in arguing with those that can't form their own thoughts , heard mentality pushing them along until the day they die . she would even feel sorry for them if their insecurities weren't squelched only by their constant need to inflict misery on others . fuck them . ‘ ⸻ c'mon . ’ gentle fingers wrap around his hand as he drops his cigarette and stomps it out , pulling him in the opposite direction , away from the prying eyes and death stares aimed at them . she doesn't mean to be as forward as she is but doesn't stop to think about it either , the goal is to get them walking and the only thing on her mind . she lets go as soon as they're out of sight , tension somewhat lifting from her shoulders . his next words hit like tiny little bullets , confirming what she thought all along , not that it makes it any more palatable . ‘ well , they're all cowards . ’ words are muttered with the roll of her eyes and she has to stop herself from apologising on their behalf , he does not need her pity , has made that more than clear and she plans to respect it . silent guilt washing over her nonetheless . ‘ you know you don't have to do this with me though , right ? ’ generously ; giving him an out , and selfishly ; hoping he won't take it . but it is the least she can do , realising he might only be offering himself along for the ride because he thinks she could end up on the victim list of their very own town terrorising psychopath . which isn't all that crazy or farfetched . ‘ i do however love terrible ideas . . . . and really hate wading through shit by myself so . . . ’ soft laughter flows from delicate petals , smile quirking her lips once more .

…             there was a flicker of amusement that crossed his features as he continued listening to her words, barely noticeable but it was there nonetheless. if nothing else, she was good at keeping him on his toes : didn't make him trust her yet, but it was enough to keep him listening. for the most part, sidney was just glad this didn't devolve into some desperate, overbearing plea for forgiveness to cleanse a guilty conscience. god knew the evangelists of their town were perfectly capable of such dramatics if they thought it would save them from damnation. the corners of his mouth twitched up a small smile, brief and fleeting, as he considered her little rant about mr. stevens ⸻ an image of that cookie-cutter white picket fence family man brandishing a bloody knife almost too absurd to entertain. but sidney couldn't dismiss her. stranger things had happened. ❝ jesus christ, you're really going all in on this, huh ? ❞ he finally muttered, shaking his head as the cigarette dangled loosely between his fingers. there was an edge of disbelief in his tone, and something else in there. perhaps a touch of respect. i intend to find out. it might just get her killed : but rather than telling her to quit while she was ahead, sidney couldn't deny his own curiosity. ❝ nah, no one immediate comes to mind. but i've got my suspicions. ❞ said with a careless shrug, but there was gleam in his eyes that suggested he had been thinking about this way longer than he'd care to admit. ❝ thing is, most people ' round here love to play judge, jury, and executioner. easier to blame someone else than look in the mirror. ❞ he didn't feel any sympathy for the killer, but he could see why someone would snap in a place like this. everyone got their mess and fuck-ups, but no one ever took accountability for why things were the way they were here. sid took one last drag before letting the cigarette fall to ground, crushing it underneath his shoe as he stared at the group of whispering assholes pretending they were any better than him. ❝ they wanna believe it's me ' cause it's convenient. gives ' em a neat little box to put their fears in. ❞ sometimes he wished he was the terrible monster they thought he was. but now there was someone standing beside him, willing to dig, to pull back the curtain and the mess for what it really was. that ⸻ that was worth something. he met her eyes once again, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ❝ if you're really serious about figuring shit out, ❞ he started, tone shifting as if he was conceding, as if noa was forcing his hand, albeit doing this on his own volition. ❝ then i guess we're both gonna be neck-deep in shit before long. ❞ a terrible idea that could get both of them killed, but at least she would have a better chance of survival if he was there to take the hit. he probably had less to lose, after all. ❝ could be fun, i guess. ❞

closed starter for ; @thetallgrasses .

‘ i've been horrible to you this whole time , on purpose ... to drive you away . why do you keep coming back ? ’

heart skips a beat at his words , warmth blooming in her chest despite the heaviness that lingers between them . watches the struggle beneath his bravado , the way he tries to play it off with humour but can’t quite mask the bitterness that lingers in his tone . — it's there , unmistakably . it reminds her of herself . the way she plays her part at home , trying to meet the expectations set for her but never once being asked if that's what she wants . forced to pretend that everything's fine when it's so so far from it . laugh it off , smile , do anything to avoid the tears , but in the end , those puffy red eyes and tear - streaked cheeks always betray the truth . system wasn't put into place for her to win , only suffer . always teetering on the edge of losing herself completely . every day a another battle , every move judged , every word scrutinised , ⸻ only solace ?? dreaming of escape . the fleeting hope , that distant exit , is the only thing keeping her grounded in a place where the crazies always seem one step ahead , watching , waiting to catch her slipping . ‘ i'm glad that if theres one thing we can ever agree on it's that no one should ever drown in shit . . . alone . ’ a small , knowing smile tugs at her lips ever so gently , and soft laughter follows , a release from the weight of her thoughts . ‘ y'know i was hoping you would ask . ' an almost inappropriate lilt of excitement coating each spoken word as he asks her where they should start , eyes glinting with purpose . ‘ i wanna show you something . ’ doesn't wait for a reply , just turns and takes a few steps before glancing back , waiting for him to follow instead of dragging him by the hand this time . though it did cross her mind . ‘ my house is only a couple of blocks away . . . . i have a binder. ’ big toothy smile spreads on lush lips , fervour etched into every line of her face .

…                     for the longest time, sidney thought that it'd be easier to just fade into the background, to let the whispers and rumors to shape around him without much protest     ⸻     because in the end, none of it really mattered. no one had ever given him a chance to be anything else in this town. but then there was noa, looking at him with fire in her eyes, like she believed he was capable of more than just existing or being everyone's assumed boogeyman. and that did something to him, something he didn't quite know how to name yet. he watched her in silence, letting her frustrations unfurl. i don't see anyone else trying. it was a rare thing, to witness someone with so much damn conviction in a town of people without backbones, and for a moment, just a heartbeat of time, sidney almost let himself believe that maybe there was still something here worth fighting for. but before he could brood and get lost in his thoughts, her touch jolted him back to reality. and his first instinct was to pull away, to retreat back into the shadows that cling to him like the scent of old cigarettes and rust, but there was a warmth in her touch     ⸻     more real than anything he had felt in a long time. so he let her lead him, dragged along like a stray dog that finally found someone willing to give him a name, even if it was just for a while. sidney doubted this would last, but it was more than the endless gnawing silence that filled the spaces between his ribs. he could let this be enough for now. ❝ i already told you,   ❞ he murmured, voice low as they moved out of sight, as if speaking any louder might break the spell. ❝ . . . i'm with you. there's no need to drag me.   ❞ only really said for his own pride, discomposed by how cracks appeared on his walls at the first sign of warmth. but there was certainty in his words, a quiet resolve that had no room for doubt. maybe it was foolish, maybe he was setting himself up for more pain when this inevitably end. but right now, he didn't really care. ❝ i know i don't have to,   ❞ he replied, the faintest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. he was rarely ever given a choice, a way out, but he had already decided to linger. ❝ but what else am i gonna do ' round here ?   ❞ said with a hint of self-deprecation, like it was a joke, but there was an edge of bitterness that slipped through. and sidney looked away for a moment, shoulders curling like he was trying to make himself smaller. but after a beat or two, his smile returned, softer now, more genuine, with an unspoken promise hidden somewhere in the lines of his face. ❝ besides,   ❞ he added, with a shrug, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. maybe it was, ' cause what the hell did sidney slaughter knew about life anyway ? ❝ just like you, i think i'd rather wade through shit with someone than drown in it by myself.   ❞ maybe that was the closest he'd ever come to admitting he wanted more, tired of being alone, tired of this town gnawing on his bones, tired of pretending there wasn't something better waiting just past the faded edges of this place. ❝ so, where do we start ?   ❞

regret sets in at a staggering pace , not one to be mean , it had taken a lot out of him to even put up the front in the first place . her words causing him to crack like an egg . ‘ you know it's only going to make it harder , right ? ’ he means when he inevitably leaves again , to go back to the city . continue his life . the reason for his return to their small town brief , exactly the way he likes it . every corner of the place holding memories he's spent long and hard trying to forget . though the sacrifice of the people he actually likes and has to leave behind never does get any easier . ‘ i didn't mean to be a dick though , ⸻ i mean technically i did but i thought i was doing us both a favour .. i don't wanna hurt you . ’

…                     ❝  i don't     ⸻     i don't know.  ❞ ripley admitted, voice soft but firm, arms crossed and a stubborn tilt to her chin as she spoke. ❝  i know i should have walked away the first time you pushed me away . . . i guess i've just been through fucking worse than your walls. i don't scare easily.  ❞ she let out a small, humorless laugh. this might all be foolish, but she just couldn't let go of him just yet. ❝  or i don't know     ⸻     maybe i'm just a fucking masochist, 'cause i like the way you make me feel. isn't that what we all want, just feel something ?  ❞

soft pink glow spreads across delicate cheeks as she playfully shoves him after his comment about her binder . ‘ shut up . ’ mumbles with a smile , head shaking with gentle laughter , feigning nonchalance . beneath the surface , a small knot tightening in her stomach , reacting to the way he seems genuinely impressed by her . praise or admiration doesn't come her way often , and when it does , it leaves her feeling awkward , reeling , unable to accept any of it . though she knows she deserves it , the immediate need to belittle herself springs to the forefront . a habit she's been trying to squash . quickly moving on from the intrusive thoughts noa launches into the nuance of how the binder came to be ; ‘ i pretended to be interested in pursuing a career in law enforcement . . ’ starts like its the most casual thing in the world , who wouldn't do that . ‘ so , naturally , sheriff anderson lets me shadow him for a week … and every time he took a bathroom break or decided to play into the cop stereotype by going for donuts , i volunteer to stay behind and file things ... ’ emphasises the words with the shrug of her shoulders and a look of complete innocence . ‘ of course by file things , i mean copy all the relevant case files for myself ⸻ i even hacked his email account so every time he gets an update on any of them , i do too . . ’ finished just as they come to a halt at her house , a slow , sly smile creeping across her lips , just enough to hint at the quiet satisfaction she feels , though makes no effort to flaunt . ‘ you don't have to worry , sid , ⸻ they’re not home . ’ reassurance is offered as she notices his hesitation . ‘ probably won’t be for hours either . they’re down at the church , helping sort donations for the victims’ families , like the good little christians they are . ’ words are spoken with batting lashes and mock prayer hands to drive the point home . ‘ they don’t ever need to know . ’ she smiles , as he jokes about them locking her away , but it doesn't quite reaches her eyes . the tightness in her expression betraying the sadness she fights to conceal . the thought of them catching her with a boy in her room is terrifying . the repercussions dire . not that it'll stop her . bruises hidden beneath long sleeves serve as reminders of what happens when good girls don’t listen . she swallows hard , the action quick , almost imperceptible , pushing down the emotion before it rises too close to the surface . ‘ let’s go . . . ’ she stops at the front door , unlocks it , and takes a step inside . noa pauses and calls out for her mother , a precaution to ensure their safety . voice echoing through the empty house , and when no one responds , she turns , smiling at sid . ‘ coast is clear . ’ still sensing his apprehension , reaches over , grabbing his hand with both of hers , and pulls him inside , swinging the the door shut behind them before quickly making her way up the stairs and into her room . soft click as she locks the door once inside .

…                     for a moment, sidney's brain could barely catch up to her words, hitting him like a semi-truck barreling down the highway at midnight. did she just invite him to her house ? and . . . a binder ? she got a fucking binder for the grisly details of the murders ? sidney felt something warm and dangerous spark low in his gut, a rush of excitement mixed with something he couldn't exactly name. then, an exhale ; releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, a little too shaky, a little too telling. that look in her pretty brown eyes, that stupid toothy grin . . . hell, it unsettled him in the best way he never knew was even possible. and his gaze lingered just a moment too long on the curve of her lips, before his feet moved to follow her, as if drawn by some invisible thread. he didn’t know why it shocked him so much, but maybe that was the thing     ⸻    nobody really expected who they thought was the girl next door you'd see during sunday service to be so deep in this, so ready to run with something dark. and shit, he knew met anyone who could make something like murder feel this alive. ❝  a fucking murder binder ? damn, dovecote. you really don't mess around . . .  ❞ unnerved or impressed, it didn't really matter, because fuck, he was going. he was following. ❝  does it have all the juicy details ? every grisly little bit ?  ❞ and if there was one thing sidney had learned from this godforsaken bumfuck nowhere, it was that once you had found someone who understood the rot and decay just as well as you did, you better keep them near for as long as you could stomach it. still, it was undeniable how his feet dragged the closer they got to noa's house. not at all scared for himself, never that, but sid knew well enough that this probably wouldn't be pretty for her if her parents found out about him being there     ⸻    sullying their good christian house with his filth. hesitation stuck to him like tar, whispering not to get too close, not to walk through that door. and when the house came to view, sidney stopped in his tracks : staring at it as if it was the myers' house in haddonfield. ❝  you do know that your parents will have my head if they found out i was in your house, right ?  ❞ a chuckle as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets, corners of his mouth curling up into a crooked smile. ❝  or worse . . . you're getting locked in your room forever.  ❞ though, part of him already knew that noa didn't really care, that nothing in this world could ever really hold her down. and yet again, he surrendered : stomach knotting up, too curious for his own good, too sick of standing outside of him, quickening his pace to walk beside her. ❝  i guess we better figure it out before they find out then.  ❞

brown eyes carefully watch as sidney glances around her room , little knot in her stomach twisting tighter as her eyes dart from one place to the other , wishing she had the ability to read minds - now more than ever before in her life . leaning against the doorframe , she lets the weight of the moment hang in the air after it clicks shut . eyes flitting down momentarily before coming back up to his face as he calls her house intense . ‘ yeah , that's one way to put it . ’ laughs it off , walking further into her room , towards the twin bed in the corner pushed up against the wall . it’s amusing to see him try to find his comfort , his hesitance kind of cute , innocent , and she can’t help the small smile that tugs at her lips . noa had never had a boy in her room , almost laughing at the fact that the first time she does it's not for the reasons any boy ever would be . she clears her throat at herself to try and snap out of her head , her mind wandering too far . ‘ so . . ’ deciding to put him and herself out of their misery , she leans down , reaching under her bed and pulling out a thick purple binder — the one they had come for . it's well - worn , the spine slightly creased from all the times she's rifled through it , endless nights spent up flipping through page after page trying to make sense of it all , scribbling down her thoughts . ‘ everything i have is in here , but i’ve backed it all up just in case anyone finds it . ’ she means her parents , who give the warden from shawshank a run for his money . her house basically the prison , just with nicer curtains . she settles onto her bed , mattress creaking softly under her weight , waiting for him to join her before setting the book on his lap . atmosphere shifting almost instantly , air around them charged with anticipation and noa watches as sidney’s awkwardness melts away , replaced by a sharper focus . curiosity . maybe even a flicker of fear .

the tightening of his jaw and the slight stiffening of sid's body doesn't go unnoticed by noa as they reach the first crime scene photo . wanting to blame the reaction on the brutality the pictures displayed but she knew matt , his reputation and can only imagine how easy it must have been for him to pick on someone like sid . a big brainless brute , trying to prove himself by letting his fists do the talking . now ... a victim of the violence he so freely inflicted . ‘ yeeeah ... ’ drags the word out slightly as she says it , sigh following , ‘ i don’t think he’ll be picking any more fights now . ’ the corners of her mouth turn down slightly as she considers the implications , the justice served , however twisted . as sidney reaches the next file and set of pictures — the dancer from big joe’s — she notices a more profound change in him as he explains his thoughts . shock and horror melding together , and the little hairs on the back of her rise in response . the air growing heavier , almost suffocating , as he flips back and forth before mentioning the seven deadly sins . it takes her a moment to process his words , but once she does , heart races with a mix of adrenaline and dread . wrath , lust , gluttony … it fits , too well . how had she not seen that before ? ‘ holy shit , you’re right - ’ she agrees , surprise lacing her tone as she meets his gaze , feeling the gravity of their discovery . ‘ if the killer is going off the sins , though … that means that theres at least four more victims . ’ the reality of her words hangs heavily in the air . ‘ and that’s only assuming he doesn’t do the same sin twice . ’ she leans closer , lowering her voice as she feels the urgency of the situation . ‘ and seeing as none of this is amateur spur - of - the - moment stuff , that means he’s probably already picked his next sinner . or he's picking them right now . ’ dread fills her belly as the realisation hits a little too hard . their killer isn't just some lunatic with nothing better to do , no , he's taking his time , planning things out meticulously , watching , waiting and choosing the perfect opportunity . staging everything . ‘ there's got to be a connection between the victims somehow , right ? a reason he's picking them specific ⸻ ’ she freezes mid sentence , straining to listen , the unmistakable sound of the front door opening and closing coming from downstairs . immediately panic surges through her , a cold wave of adrenaline crashing into her chest . wide eyes locking on to sidney's as her heart races , the sound of her father’s heavy footsteps echoing faintly through the house , followed by her mom’s familiar voice calling out from the hallway . ‘ fuck , they're back . ’ she hisses under her breath , voice low but urgent , mind spinning as she tries calculate their next move ‘ i gotta get you out of here — now ! ’ complete and utter dread consumes her at the thought of her father catching them . she darts to the window , fingers trembling as she fumbles to unlock it . the cool evening air rushing in , sending a shiver down her spine . she spins back toward him , grabbing his arm . ‘ come on , you can use the drain pipe . ’ she says , her words coming out faster than she can control . ‘ and take this with you . ’ she shoves the binder at him . ‘ maybe you'll catch whatever else i've missed . ’

…                     she was entirely unlike anything he had ever known : because who the fuck does that kind of shit ? it excited him more than it should have, watching her eyes light up as she talked about how she had tricked the sheriff and hacked his emails, described it all so casually, as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world. but noa did it, got away with it ⸻ and there he was, hanging on every word, completely fascinated by this small glimpse into her world. sidney swallowed hard, trying not to let his mind wander too far, but it was impossible not to feel that pull toward her, that rush of interest the more noa revealed herself to him. it felt like an entirely brand new feeling, difficult to pinpoint, and all sidney really knew was that ... he wanted more. more of this warmth in the pit of his stomach. more of her attention and her confessions. more of her. and so when she finally pulled him inside, sidney couldn't think twice to follow any longer, gaze drifting around as soon as they crossed the threshold. the air in the dovecote's house felt heavier, oppressive, as if it carried all the weight of things unsaid and buried secrets ; crucifixes hung nearly on every wall, a bible sat neatly on a side table, and the somber stare of a portrait of jesus watched him from the hallway, a silent judgment passed on whoever crossed his path. it was suffocating, as if the walls themselves were watching ⸻ and sidney just couldn't imagine living there. but then his gaze landed on a family photo sitting on a shelf. noa and her parents, smiling like they were straight out of a church bulletin. her hair perfectly styled, her parents all dressed up in their sunday best, the picture portraying an idealized version of family life he'd never experienced. for a second, something twisted deep inside him. envy. he wondered what it would've been like to have that kind of life, to come home to something stable, warm, and safe.

but the feeling passed just as quickly as it came. because now, looking at noa, he could see through it all. she didn't fit into this place, and more than anything, he could tell she didn't want to. ❝  your house is kind of . . . intense,  ❞ a small sheepish chuckle slipped past his lips once they reached her room and the door clicked shut. he had never been in a girl's room before and it showed ; shifting awkwardly on his feet as if unsure where to stand, gaze darting around as if unsure where to settle, hands shoved deep in his pockets as if it would keep him from touching anything. truth was, being in here with her ... alone ... made him more nervous than he wanted to admit. but he felt a little bit of ease was he was given something to focus on ⸻ noa's fucking murder binder. inside were pages upon pages of neatly organized police files, notes, articles, and photographs, all carefully arranged. and sidney found himself inching closer as noa flipped through the pages, the awkwardness slipping away to make room for intrigue as his eyes scanned the pages. he wasn't entirely sure what he should be looking for — maybe just something to distract him from how close noa was standing, or maybe just some way to connect with the case that had her so engrossed.

then, his breath hitched in his throat ⸻ crime scene photo staring back at him, the bloody cadaver someone he knew. sidney could still feel the dull ache in his ribs if he thought about it hard enough, a ghost of a memory from seventh grade when matthew scully had beaten the shit out of him behind the gym, leaving him gasping for air on the pavement while everyone else looked the other way. ❝  he was a real piece of work, you know ? dude never stopped picking fights : heard he even got in a brawl in some dive bar and hospitalized a guy who got in his way.  ❞ maybe matthew had it coming. but it was still strange seeing him like this ; face twisted in pain, sprawled on the ground, viscera spilling out. then, a realization washed over sidney, carefully flipping back a few pages, trying to shake off the chill that crawled up his spine. he stopped at another photo, this time of a woman. a dancer from big joe's boobie bungalow, the strip club on the highway. she was found dead in some run-down motel, her body a mess of cuts and bruises. ❝  her⸻  ❞ he muttered, pointing at the page, looking at noa's with some kind of newfound intensity. ❝  cops thought a john did it at first. but her wounds are too precise, too methodical, so they figured it's our serial killer on the loose.  ❞ he flipped to another page, feeling a cold sweat starting to build as the pieces clicked together. another body. a man slumped over a table, still clutching a fork, his face bloated and sickly. same number of plates on the tables as the slashes he received. sidney's throat felt tight as he looked back at noa. the people who were getting killed ⸻ they all had something in common. matt, the violent brute who couldn't go a week without breaking someone's nose. the dancer, selling her body for money at a roadside strip club. the guy who could have eaten and drank himself into an early grave if the killer didn't get to him first. ❝  they're not just random . . .  ❞ he said quietly, flipping through the three victim files back and forth. ❝  look ⸻ wrath. lust. gluttony . . . the killer's going after people who committed one of the deadly sins.  ❞ maybe he was reaching. but it made an awful lot of sense in his head. though, it would also raise new questions. why them ? those victims wouldn't be the first people to indulge in their vices, so what made them any different ?

noa steps off her bike by the fence , letting it fall against the chain link with a soft clatter . grabbing the plastic bag from the basket in the front as she runs a hand through her hair , attempt at brushing it back into place with her fingers after the wind's had its way with it . sun pressing down on everything , baking the dirt beneath her feet and casting harsh shadows across the paddock , it's close to sundown and she'll be thankful when a cool breeze replaces the brutal heat that's been mercilessly cooking them alive . sidney’s voice drifts over to her , laced with that dry humour of his she's grown accustomed to , lips curving into a grin in response. ‘ gee noa , thanks a bunch for coming to keep me company ⸻ ’ she starts , doing a horrible job of mimicking sidney's voice and facial expression , making him sound like huckleberry fucking fin in the process . ‘ and .. oh , what's that ? ... you even brought snacks ? and cold drinks ?? because i've been working in the sun all day and could use a break ? gosh noa , you really as the best ! ’ dramatics end with her holds up the bag containing bottles of coke and chips she stole from work on her way out , as she walks toward him . footsteps kicking up dirt with each step she takes , head tilted tangentially to the side , soft smile tugging at her lips , ‘ you're so welcome , sid . ’ responds to her own spiel coming to a stop at the fence . leaning against the rough wood , feeling the heat of it against the exposed skin of her arms . brown eyes trace the easy way sidney moves with the horse , the way he’s all steady hands and calm focus , gentle even . causing a warmth to bloom low inside her belly .  ‘ why go home when i can come here and enjoy the view . ’ nonchalant shrug rises and drops her shoulders hanging the bag on one of the pegs sticking out of the wooden fence . heart skips a beat when sidney finally looks at her , that steady gaze of his meeting hers , something behind it she can’t quite pin down . she’s used to reading people — dissecting their body language , catching the flickers of emotion they try to hide ⸻ but sidney ? sidney’s different . there’s a wall behind those blue eyes , something firm and impenetrable . something she can't wait to get a peek behind . ‘ you know ... you can admit you missed me . ’ she says , her voice softening as she tilts her head slightly , watching him carefully . smile softening , but eyes stay on him , waiting for some kind of sign that she's not pushing it . ‘ promise i won't tell nobody . ’ playfulness creeps back into her expression , eyes sparkling with challenge . ‘ plus how else am i supposed to show you what else i found . . . ’ fingers absentmindedly run along the worn wood of the fence . she's lying , there is no actual update , has nothing to show , instead really is there just for him , but offers the little white lie up anyways to keep him interested should there be any truth in his dismissal of her being around .

…                     there were very few things in this world that sidney slaughter couldn't figure out ⸻ and history would show that having friends and keeping must be one of them. he had learned early on to always expect the rug to be pulled under his feet, that loneliness was just another inevitability. but noa had been lingering longer than he expected : a near -constant presence which should be a good surprise, though part of him still felt like he didn't deserve her attention. like he didn't deserve her. especially not when he never really learned to treat anyone closer than arm's length. maybe she'd soon realize that he wasn't worth the hassle. and maybe the last time they saw each other was really the last. the sun hung high over the ranch, the heat relentless as he led a young horse in slow circles, easing it into a trot around the paddock, trying to keep his focus on the rhythm of its hooves and not the thoughts buzzing in his head. but any semblance of peace didn't last too long ... hearing the familiar clatter of a bicycle break through the quiet. he looked up to see noa pedaling hard, her hair wild from the wind, and sidney couldn't help the way his lips curled into a wry smile as she proved his expectations wrong yet again. noa wasn't going anywhere, and sidney had no fucking idea what to do with that. nor the warmth that stirred in the pit of his stomach ⸻ burning since the first time she got close, since the first time she spoke to him like he mattered. ❝  c'mon, don't you have anythin' better to do than hanging 'round me all day ? especially in this fuckin' heat ?   ❞ he sighed lightheartedly, giving the horse one last pat before stepping out of the paddock, wiping the sweat and dirt from his hands onto his jeans. she must have a new discovery, a new piece of the puzzle in this fucked up murder mystery ⸻ but all he could really think about was how every time she showed up, his world seemed to tilt a little more off its axis. ❝  i'm startin' to think you're obsessed with me, noa. guess the killer's not the only one i should be scared of.  ❞ sidney fucking slaughter joking around ? damn, this must really be the end of the world.

slow blinking lashes accompanied by a saccharine smile sits upon her lips , quiet in contemplation as she takes him in . so unapologetic in the way he is himself , in turn allowing her to be nothing less than who she yearns she could always be all the time ; unafraid to speak her mind , bold enough to show her truth . the ever consuming dread that's made a home of the empty spaces between her brittle ribs fading the moment she sets brown eyes on his face , soft drawl and smile she evokes from him making her wish she'd had the courage to stand up to the evil that was teenage peer pressure back in high school . should have stood her ground against the girls who spoke of sid , a lonely boy full of grief and loss , as the anti - christ , just because they refused to look beyond the ignorance and gossip of a small town . they could have been living this quiet comfort the entire time . there's still so much to learn , burning questions that linger on her tongue that she hasn't quite spoken into existence . and yet , she knows that none of them could ever come close to the person she's discovering him to be , the person she wishes she had discovered all those years ago . ‘ mhmmm . ’ she hums in response to his not knowing , head set at an angle as  smugness pinches at the corners of her mouth . picture of unaffectedness , but the smile he offers uncages the butterflies she had locked away some time ago , setting them aflutter in her belly . how is it that the simplest gestures crack her in half so easily , the sincerity behind the way he looks at her as if extraordinary , needing no words to make her feel seen , envelop her into a gentle safety she does not even feel in her own home . she re - centers herself around a characteristic  smile . arms crossing over each other , wood rough beneath her delicate skin , but she's used to worse . the cool breath of the evening slowly replacing the warmth of the sun and noa takes in a deep breath . letting his words words linger — gentle invitation , veiled in humour piquing her curiosity . it should take her longer to agree to his suggestion , curfew in place because of the mad - man on the loose and all , but a beat is all it takes , unable to find it in her to care . ‘ who can say no to that ? lead the way cowboy . . . ’ the sugar - rich tilt of her smile becomes precarious  as she pushes off the wooden fence , perfectly manicured brows knitting together in sudden realisation . ‘ should i be offended that you never thought to suspect me as the killer ? ’ ⸻ tone teetering on the edge of ridiculousness , fighting back the outright want to laugh at herself as literal five foot one , one hundred and ten pounds , straight faced noa dovecote asks this question . ‘ because you do know this would be the ideal situation for me to have my way with you , right ? ’ words register only after she's said them , rolling her eyes at herself , cheeks crimson red . ‘ you know what i mean . ’

…                      sidney had never really known what it felt lie to be seen, to have someone so close, not until she started showing up. it was nothing like the slow burn of the summer or the ache in his muscles after a long day's worth, though sometimes it pressed on him just as hard. it was more like a warmth that spread from the pit of stomach, coursing through his veins, like the feeling you get when you finally sit down after being on your feet all day. it was that soft exhale when the world stops spinning for a moment. except with noa, the world didn't stop spinning ⸻ it just felt like the weight of loneliness faded away, like he wasn't standing alone anymore come what may. and despite his attempts to keep a stoic expression, she just always had a way of pulling his the corners of his mouth up, her whole performance earning her a half-smirk. “ wow, took the words right out of my mouth. you really nailed it, ” sidney drawled, voice laced with lighthearted sarcasm. but truth was, sidney couldn't even remember the last time someone had done anything this nice for him. probably not since his grandmother died. probably not since the owner of this ranch, a transplant without any idea of local history, took a chance on him. he let the silence settle between them for a beat, noa's words hanging in the air as the sun dipped a little lower, painting everything in that sharp golden light. sidney's gaze lingered on her, so pronounced how the cogs and gears of his mind turned ⸻ lips curved up in an almost bashful smile, like someone caught in the act. of stealing glances. of writing love letters. of leaving a note in someone's locker. and maybe the look in his eyes and constant stream of noanoanoa on his mind weren't really any different from any those things ; he might never never admit it, not out loud, not even to himself most days, but sidney did miss her when she wasn't around. “ yeah, i don't know 'bout all that, ” he muttered, but his smile told a different story. it told everything she needed to know if she was willing to look. “ and you know, ” he started, pushing his hands into his pockets as he leaned against the fence. “ if you really see a great view, there's a spot not too far from here. high up on the hill. you can see the whole goddamn town from there when the sun sets. better than standing here in the dust. ” and there it was again, that warmth spreading through his chest again like it was trying to make a point. “ figured you'd appreciate it. food's usually better with a nice view, too, ” he nodded toward the bag of snacks, words coming out softer than usual, like maybe he was letting her in just a little more than he was used to. something small, but maybe big enough for her to notice.

hazel eyes stayed locked on spike, barely blinking as he watched the man hesitate, weighing the discount. phillip normally didn’t ask for handouts - usually had the cash to pay in full - but today was different. he didn’t offer spike the full story, but he hoped the guy would get it anyway. the second he caved, a wide grin instantly spread across phillip's face. "you're a lifesaver, man - seriously. i’ll hit you up with the rest as soon as that paycheck comes through." he slipped the purple ziplock into his back pocket with one smooth move, then gave spike a light, playful slap on the chest with the back of his hand. "oh, and hey - wanna come watch me toss some dudes around tonight? i can hook you up with front row seats if you're into watching sweaty guys in speedos go for each other’s throats."

…                     he  tried  his  best  to  keep  a  straight  face  against  those  pleading  eyes,  tried  to  be  stubborn,  but  it  was  all  futile  in  the  end     ⸻     muttering  some  expletives  under  his  breath,  teeth  clenched,  as  he  pinched  the  bridge  of  his  nose  when  his  conviction  started  to  crack  like  an  old  porch  step. ❝  fine  .  .  .  okay.  fuck . . .   just  quit  your  whining.  ❞ a  long,  drawn-out  sigh,  like  the  kind  his  old  man  used  to  make  after  a  long day in the factory,  handing  over  the  purple  ziplock  bag  in  exchange  for  their  measly  handful  of  crumpled  bills.  spike  had  always  been  one  to  stick  to  his  guns,  never  cut  deals,  not  for  his  friends,  not  even  for  that  sweet  old  lady  who'd  always  slip  him  a  piece  of  candy  when  he  was  a  kid.  but  here  he  was,  changing  how  he  did  things  for  a  pretty  face  that  shouldn't  mean  a  damn  thing. ❝  don't  get  any  ideas  now.  this  is  a  one-time  thing     ⸻     you're  lucky  i  like  you,  'cause  even  my  oldest  regulars  don't  get  this  special  treatment.  ❞

open to : anyone. just a typical dealer x client plot. muse : spike gutterson. twenty7. weed dealer, butcher, busboy, everywhere and anywhere to save up enough money to move out of their shithole town.

"y'know, i don't think i've ever seen you smile before." it wasn’t much - more like a half-smile - but phillip would take it. not that he expected spike to be all sunshine and rainbows; he knew things were kinda... rough on his end, but a smile here and there wouldn’t hurt. "looks good on you, man." he shrugged, his own casual grin still in place. "and don’t worry, you don’t really strike me as the type who’d be into that sorta thing anyway." truth was, he barely knew what the other was into, dude hardly ever opened up, but professional wrestling definitely didn’t seem like his scene. "but there’ll be some feral hot chicks there too, if that’s more your style." he added with a playful wink before pulling out his phone, giving it a quick check before shaking his head at spike's question. "nah, show starts in a couple hours. we’ve got some time to hang before we head out. you gotta make any other deliveries tonight?"

…                     spike stared at the pavement for a moment or two, trying to stop himself from giving in any further     ⸻     studying the fading paint lines, the weeds pushing up through the cracks, but none of it was enough to just ignore the imprint of philip's grin in his head, too damn bright for this tired corner of town. it was infuriating : how it made his heart kick up in a way that was all too familiar and all too stupid, especially at his age. ❝  christ,  ❞ he muttered, the casual slap on his chest sending a jolt of something down his spine he couldn’t quite shake off. he tried to play it cool, rolling his eyes and shrugging as if the invitation wasn’t getting to him. but it was. more than he'd like to admit. ❝  guess i ain't got nothing better to do tonight anyway,  ❞ a halfhearted shrug, sucking in a breath through his teeth before giving the other man a crooked smile. ❝  just . . . don't go thinkin' this is a regular thing, alright ? i don't make a habit of watching half-naked dudes throw themselves around like feral dogs.  ❞ then a beat of silence, and spike swallowed hard, feeling the last of his resolve slipping away completely. ❝  we goin' now or ?  ❞