This Post Rules So Much - Tumblr Posts
spamton is a funny horrible little bastard that exudes pure slime and sleaze. if spamton had a canon voice it would be some utterly hellish choppily bitcrushed hackjob combination of rocket raccoon, king candy, the clown from the animaniacs episode “clown and out”, bill cipher, and that horrible little demon rumplestiltskin from shrek 4, intercut with random clips of big shot autos and youtube poops. spamton has stolen someone’s gender twice and the half his personality that isnt pure concentrated essence of scumbag is obsession with becoming a pink mecha with built-in makeup because he saw mettaton once and got gender envy. the only emotions he still has the capacity to feel are hatred, hatred 2, hatred-misery flavor, and several forms of rage available only to birds and chihuahuas. spamton has rabies and every disease including several bird ones at once and is only alive because they’re all too busy fighting eachother. spamton is on a heartstopping amount of crack at all times. spamton has liead so much his nose is longer than his legs (to suck up crack more efficiently) and and spamton impales people with it. spamton looks like the guy from saw mated with a trollface. spamton is catholic but the g stands for god is dead. spamton would take candy from a baby. spamton would take a baby. spamton would get into black market organ sales. spamton spends his entire time onscreen remorselessly manipulating teenagers to get them to let him try to murder them or selling them sadistic torure-rings to get them to commit genocide and calling a teenage girl a hoochi mama multiple times. spamton is literally just flowey/chara without the power to act on the isolation-induced genocidal childmurder hate. spamton is a spam email gjinka. spamton looks like every single homestuck character at once. spamton says fuck. i guarantee “little sponge” is just toby didn’t think he could get away with calling kris a little shit. spamton is not smiling, it’s more like “i’m showing you the things i’m going to use to rip out your fucking jugular if you don’t give me your kromer right now bitch i’ll kill you I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU”. spamton is old man mcgucket if he used to be a used car salesman and when opening the back door of any establishment one must be careful to shoo away the wild spamton and it’s miniature clones with a broom lest it drop to all fours and hiss at you like a raccoon. spamton is the deltarune universe’s cut-me-own-throat dibbler. if the deltarune timeline of internet development was anything like the real world spamton is pushing 50. spamton sold cars but never had a driver’s license. spamton is either dark mettaton or mettaton 10 years from now after his mtt-tv brand falls apart. spamton’s parents are the guy in the kirby anime and ea-nasir. spamton has a typing quirk. spamton looks and sounds like the vengeful ghost of a woodpecker that drowned in a hair gel factory accident. there is a disturbingly large chance that spamton mpreg is canon. spamton would sell cryptocurrency
did i mention half of his attacks are throwing his implied mpreg spawn at you