Spamton Is A Funny Horrible Little Bastard That Exudes Pure Slime And Sleaze. If Spamton Had A Canon

spamton is a funny horrible little bastard that exudes pure slime and sleaze. if spamton had a canon voice it would be some utterly hellish choppily bitcrushed hackjob combination of rocket raccoon, king candy, the clown from the animaniacs episode “clown and out”, bill cipher, and that horrible little demon rumplestiltskin from shrek 4, intercut with random clips of big shot autos and youtube poops. spamton has stolen someone’s gender twice and the half his personality that isnt pure concentrated essence of scumbag is obsession with becoming a pink mecha with built-in makeup because he saw mettaton once and got gender envy. the only emotions he still has the capacity to feel are hatred, hatred 2, hatred-misery flavor, and several forms of rage available only to birds and chihuahuas. spamton has rabies and every disease including several bird ones at once and is only alive because they’re all too busy fighting eachother. spamton is on a heartstopping amount of crack at all times. spamton has liead so much his nose is longer than his legs (to suck up crack more efficiently) and and spamton impales people with it. spamton looks like the guy from saw mated with a trollface. spamton is catholic but the g stands for god is dead. spamton would take candy from a baby. spamton would take a baby. spamton would get into black market organ sales. spamton spends his entire time onscreen remorselessly manipulating teenagers to get them to let him try to murder them or selling them sadistic torure-rings to get them to commit genocide and calling a teenage girl a hoochi mama multiple times. spamton is literally just flowey/chara without the power to act on the isolation-induced genocidal childmurder hate. spamton is a spam email gjinka. spamton looks like every single homestuck character at once. spamton says fuck. i guarantee “little sponge” is just toby didn’t think he could get away with calling kris a little shit. spamton is not smiling, it’s more like “i’m showing you the things i’m going to use to rip out your fucking jugular if you don’t give me your kromer right now bitch i’ll kill you I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU”. spamton is old man mcgucket if he used to be a used car salesman and when opening the back door of any establishment one must be careful to shoo away the wild spamton and it’s miniature clones with a broom lest it drop to all fours and hiss at you like a raccoon. spamton is the deltarune universe’s cut-me-own-throat dibbler. if the deltarune timeline of internet development was anything like the real world spamton is pushing 50. spamton sold cars but never had a driver’s license. spamton is either dark mettaton or mettaton 10 years from now after his mtt-tv brand falls apart. spamton’s parents are the guy in the kirby anime and ea-nasir. spamton has a typing quirk. spamton looks and sounds like the vengeful ghost of a woodpecker that drowned in a hair gel factory accident. there is a disturbingly large chance that spamton mpreg is canon. spamton would sell cryptocurrency

did i mention half of his attacks are throwing his implied mpreg spawn at you

This is Evil Spamtonology

Hello! I'm mafa @rubsjuice, she/her, and I enjoy media analysis of all kinds, even more so of Deltarune. I've been relentlessly roleplaying Spamton for two years, and I've thought a lot about this little guy, things that after a long time of restricting them to my friends' discord server, I feel the need to share with the wider community.

The owner of @spamtonology is my friend and gave me their blessing to name my blog this way because they're nicey and polite and I'm fucked up and evil.

This blog will focus on Spamton, but it will also branch to other UTDR characters, concepts, and worldbuilding, because a good character is nothing without his world and baby, Spamton is living in it.

I'm not very sure how I plan to organize the blog yet, tag-wise. I'll edit this intro post when I do.

Feel free to send asks! I love talking to other people and sharing opinions. Please don't be shy, but in case you are, I'll make sure anon asks are open <3

DISCLAIMERS:

These are all my own analysis of the written text of UTDR, as well as making cross references with other media and concepts I've come across in life. I in no way am claiming that what I'm saying is the truth, nor that it is the only acceptable interpretation of the UTDR narrative. To do so would be intellectually disonest and honestly I hate that.

My posts are intended for an adult audience. While I won't be posting explicit content, nor am I interested in doing so, I might talk about things that are upsetting or uncomfortable. I cannot and will not forbid teens from reading my blog, and I will do my best to write my posts in a way that's accessible for everyone, but I will not go to lengths to make anything I say kid-friendly. If you're in middle school and onwards, you are well-equipped to follow an intellectual discussion that is not sugarcoated or advertiser friendly, and I will not pretend you aren't.

You are allowed to fuck or not fuck Spamton in any way you'd like, I don't care and that's not the objective of this blog. You don't need to ask me anything of the sort. Play clown games, win clown prizes.

You ever think about how Undertale uses Flowey to break the 4th wall, without actually breaking the 4th wall? The game merely imitates the vocabulary of 4th wall breaks...

...through the words of a grieving boy who just wants his best friend back

That's why the fallen human is essentially our "role" in the story. That's why Flowey is set up as a player parallel. From beginning to end, this was always a story about Asriel and Chara. In Undertale's story, the role of "player" is, metanarratively, the role of a ghost.

That's why the story is so heavily character driven. That's why progress is marked by helping people move on from the past. That's why the game ends (and can only truly end) by asking us to let go.

It's a ghost story. It's all a fucking ghost story.

"the player is a character in deltarune" not as in "the player is not us" but as in "we are playing a role in a role-playing game, and that role comes with certain characteristics that we are assumed to have. there is a construct of 'player' that the game assumes we are."

This is some really tasty analysis, highly recommend reading it

The basic premise of this theory is that the Angel from the prophesy and everything that relates to them ends up being the player, and there's a lot of really good arguments in that favor. I hadn't really thought about it from this perspective before and it totally makes sense

drink up

ok intro out of the way. i'm gonna reblog some of my own posts now