This Thread Is Going To Kill Me Forever. - Tumblr Posts
EDWARD TEACH for stede !
❛ yeah, stede. did really great without you, just look at this fucking room. ❜ edward snorts ( a strained sound, at best ), eyes still pointed at the ceiling, the feeble anger he tried to summon to the surface now choking him up. he swallows around a much too dry throat, clumping both eyes and mouth shut as a few more tears slip out, down his temples and into his hair, making even more of a mess on his face. a broken whimper utterly ruins his attempt at gathering more air into his lungs, but before his body can be wrecked by a fresh wave of sobs, stede reaches out. with just his foot, yet it’s enough to make edward tear his gaze away from the pitiful ceiling. stede is right there next to him, real, absolutely beautiful even with eyes full of tears and a tired edge to him that definitely wasn’t there last time he saw him. stede is his very own lighthouse after getting lost in a storm, far from any sight of land. the ship is still rocking madly beneath him, but it’s not looking quite so bleak now — edward is not waiting to drown anymore, to just sink beneath the waves and never come back for air again. not now that stede is finally there, in the flesh, not just an alcohol induced fever dream. god knows he’s had a few of those. and well, stede had not been so kind in all of them. sometimes, he had been the one at the receiving end of a blade, the anger and disappointment on dream-stede’s face cutting just as deep.
❛ good. that’s good. bastard deserved it. ❜ while that’s undoubtedly true, he doesn’t really want to think about that badmington fellow, doesn’t want stede to think about his stupid words anymore, so he reaches into the empty space between them to grab for his hand. edward doesn’t really think it through before wrapping his fingers around it, thumb moving in a soft sweep across the skin of his knuckles. i’m glad you’re here. i’m sorry. please don’t leave again. words that feel too raw against the walls of his throat, words he isn’t ready to speak yet. but there is something he needs to say, the memory of words spoken while holding a blade to the delicate arch of stede’s throat causing his grip on stede to tighten and his lips to curl into a wince.
❛ you don’t have to — god, stede i— i don’t want you to leave. ❜ he doesn’t know where they’re going from here, if they will be able to recover from what they did to each other, but this he knows: it’s been utter misery without stede, days bleeding onto the next one with no distinction, nothing to ease the growing emptiness in his chest. he had been going through the motions, his body putting up a valiant effort to keep him alive despite the glaringly obvious lack of care edward had shown towards it. eating sparingly and drinking far too much, not to mention the new scars littering his body that he hadn’t really tried to avoid.
HE HADN’T EVEN NOTICED the emptiness of the room. since he had entered here, his eyes had never once left edward, even when they had filled with tears. & only now did he force his gaze away, noticing finally how the his luxurious chambers were no longer outfitted as he had so carefully designed them. the bookshelves are now nothing but bones, picked entirely bare. the furniture is mostly gone as well, save for a few of the most practical pieces. even the chandeliers had been removed from the ceiling, leaving the once familiar quarters shrouded in a strange darkness. & stede cannot help but flinch at little at the edge in edward’s voice when he says that chauncy deserved his death. it had been horrible, whether deserved or not. he doesn’t want to dwell on it for longer than he needs to. but when edward reaches out through the gap of space between them & takes stede’s hand, his attention comes right back to his beloved again. & the shadows that dance across ed’s face as he cries, his dark makeup smearing into contorted shapes, are remarkably similar to those that lurk in the empty corners of the room. but edward is still there, beneath the leather & the ruined war paint. & stede is more than willing to face the shadows to find the man he loves beneath. he interlaces their fingers slowly & gives edward’s hand a gentle squeeze. honestly, he’s just grateful to be close enough to touch him again. the time they had spent apart had been a painful absence, the lack of his presence felt intensely in his every waking moment. & stede knows that he would do anything not to leave his side again — thinks he might break apart as hopelessly as a ship against the rocks if edward ordered him away now. & as though he’s reading his mind, edward bids him stay. & relieved tears fill stede’s eyes once again, a trembling smile coming to his lips. ❝ oh, ed. i don’t want to go either. it was awful to be without you, really it was. ❞ & he lifts edward’s hand to his lips then, a quartet of soft kisses pressed against the ridges of edward’s knuckles through the soft leather of his gloves. & as he looks up at him with watery eyes, the two of them still strewn across the floor but mercifully still alive in spite of everything, a note of fierce conviction appears in his tone. ❝ i’m sorry — i’m so sorry that i ran away. but i’m here now. & here i’ll stay, for as long as you want me to. i’ll never leave you again, edward — not unless you send me away. ❞