To My Mom - Tumblr Posts

Okay so my mom is literally, at the moment calling me arrogant despite my obvious self-hate and self-worth issues an I'm like,,, gurl it's called a DEFENSE MECHANISM because it's better people think I love myself than throw me into a mental hospital cause I'm not normal. hahaha

like she says that she "supports" me, gurl you bodyshame me ON THE DAILY and tell me that IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. like IM SORRY I ACT ARROGANT SO THAT I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO THINK IM WORTHLESS.

i just

i don't know what i have to do to make you happy anymore

I'm happy with my achievements and suddenly im arrogant

I'm sad with what I don''t do and I should JUST BE BETTER

I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be

and I'm sorry that I don't always make you proud

but it does not change the fact that I want you to be happy for me

the way I am and not the way you want me to be

"extreme expectations are the most toxic form of pride"

like everything I do, I say, even the music I listen to is my way for askng for help and understanding

I know I'm lucky, and I should be thankful. Others have more difficult lives, and you tell me that constantly. But I just hope, you understand we all have our problems and mine? My problems are me, and you.

I'm not asking for much, just acceptance, and love for my shortcomings and my achivements. I want you to tell me it's okay I'm not perfect, and be proud of what I have accomplished

I know you do your best for me, but please at least remember that I am also doing my best for you.