Tw: Genitals Mention - Tumblr Posts

#i think better yet everyone needs to remember that if anyone else made a respectful romantic advance on you#it would be considered fucking mean and rude to tell people what about them is unattractive to you#its not any nicer to do that to trans people. literally just say no thank you i don't think of you that way. like you would to anyone else#idfk why everyone is so caught up on the idea of finding a respectful way of informing trans people that they're unattractive to you

This wasn't about trans people or finding a way to "respectfully tell them what about them is unattractive to you." People can talk about bodies and genitals without it automatically being about trans people.

This is a general discussion about how its often seen as a negative thing or a personal insult if you find someone unattractive or aren't compatible with what they're packing.

Not personally attractive to someone =/= ugly or unattractive as a whole.

I did use genitals as an example (in terms of what is or isn't demeaning language because trust me some people do push to know why you're rejecting them) and that was perhaps my mistake, but I'm referring to a multitude of qualities. Even things like the amount of muscle mass someone has can be attractive or unattractive to various people.

In short:

Nobody is inherently ugly or unworthy because you aren't attracted to them.

Attraction can't be forced and people aren't bad for not being attracted to someone or to certain qualities.

Preferences and needs are inherently harmless. Demeaning people or being cruel to them and using those as an excuse is what causes the harm.

Having preferences and things you are not visually or sexually attracted to is actually normal and perfectly valid.

The entire point of the 'preferences aren't an excuse' campaign is kindness, not forced attraction. That you don't shame other people for not fitting your own preferences or needs.

"I'm sorry, I'm exclusively attracted to vaginas."

vs

"Ew gross, I'd never date you, you've got a penis."

We need to stop demonising people for not finding certain qualities personally arousing or attractive, or having a strict need for a certain type of genital.

If people shouldn't be forced to change themselves to fit someone else's preferences then people's preferences shouldn't be disregarded and forced aside to fit someone else's qualities.

Nor should someone not being attractive to you be a valid reason to shame, demean or be rude/cruel to them.