Tw: Prescription Drugs. - Tumblr Posts

in and out — that is what blamore told himself as he crept into eliza's home from the window, hoping that she wasn't quite home yet. it would be kind of hard to explain why it was there after all... even though it was for a mostly innocuous reason. for, after elizabeth had spent the night in blamore's greenhouse, they'd come across each other yet again in public; except this time it was at the farmer's market and that is when he learned that she grew her own fruits. which, is something it had yet to do, so it naturally wanted to trade some veggies for some fruit. and as a result... they'd went on to schedule a meeting between the two of them. a meeting that went a lot better than expected, actually. that is whenever you put aside the fact that blamore accidentally dropped something important at eliza's house.

so, that brings us to now, with it actively breaking and entering into the other's humble abode. he did remember getting part of his clothes snagged on a hook she had in her kitchen; and although the plant-hybrid hadn't heard anything fall from it's pockets, it knew that that is what must've happened, because he had them while he was at the farmer's market. new meds to treat blamore's nerve pain since the last one did pretty much nothing for it. as it finally reached the ground from what looked to be eliza's bathroom, it carefully began to start it's trek to her kitchen. oh... merde*, blamore thought as came face-to-face with just the person he was hoping not to see right now, right across from him on the couch. could blamore squeeze past eliza without her noticing? resisting the urge to groan as it's own misfortune, he slowly but surely began creeping through the living room to eventually get to the kitchen.

maybe he could see if she was asleep and hope for the best? the ex-doctor really didn't want to come to regret this, though he knew very well that he could defend himself. blamore could just use a break from constantly making enemies. the closer it got to eliza, the more low to the ground it's tail got in discomfort, before it decided to gently place a hand on the other's shoulder while crouching down. blamore very quietly whispered to her then to 'test the waters,' ❝ eliza? salut**, are you awake? ❞

[ both translations in order: shit, and hey there. ].

@lususnatura liked for a starter

It had been a long day. She hadn't even bothered to cook for herself, instead flopping onto her couch. She would probably stay there unless someone removes her.

in all honesty, burgeon was half-expecting elizabeth to at least wake up with a start, if not do something like ask what the hell it was doing in her house — but it seemed like she wasn't all that worried about it overall. that, or elizabeth was just that tired. a confused expression spread across it's features while she addressed it about as calm as could be. blamore parted his lips slightly as if he was about to say something, until eliza answered her own question for him; and he instinctually moved a foot back whenever the other got up from off her couch. the ex-doctor tilted it's head to the side while she went into the kitchen to retrieve his meds, feeling a bit caught off-guard by this whole interaction, but not terribly so.

blamore accepted it from eliza and looked down at the label on the prescription then, ❝ ahh, thank you. i will definitely knock next time, but i'm... very sorry for the intrusion, ❞ he cleared his throat, before reaching over to his pack to put the pills inside of it. an apologetic smile tugged at it's lips so it seemed it was being genuine about that. ❝ i just needed this back as soon as possible, and i didn't really want you to know about these meds, you see. i have to take them for pain which is not something i like to advertise immediately to everyone i meet. ❞ blamore kept his explanation short and sweet as he did like to keep it private for multiple reasons, before openly admiring some of the decor she had. a playful retort left it's mouth to try to ease the awkwardness, ❝ mm, you know during the two times i've been here, i couldn't help but think you have a fantastic eye for interior design. has anyone ever told you that before? ❞

One unfortunate side effect of working at Arkham is that Eliza has become a light sleeper. "Huh?" she wasn't expecting anyone, and she hasn't exactly given her key out. "Oh, Blamore. What are you doing here?" she says blearily. "Oh wait," she scrunches her nose, "your medication. You dropped it," she moves to get up. "I was holding onto it, you dropped it. I was going to bring it to you in the morning. I wish you would have just knocked."

She grabs a small bottle from her kitchen counter. "Here," she stumbles towards it; holding the bottle out. "Just knock next time ok?"

so, i have talked about mental health and the struggles that my characters have with it in particular before, BUT i have yet to do so on this account. thus... i'm going to touch upon how blamore has bipolar 1 disorder and how that affects its daily life. here's just a little background about bipolar one in particular just in case y'all don't know a lot about it — bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that is usually characterized by periodic albeit intense emotional states that affect a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. these periods could last anywhere from days to weeks, and there are usually two types of mood episodes. though some people also experience periods of neutral mood as well. the first of these two types are manic/hypomanic, in which the main mood that the person will be in will either be intense happiness or irritability.

the other kind of mood episode is depressive episodes, where the person affected by bipolar disorder is in an intensely sad mood or the ability for them to experience joy has seemingly disappeared. the onset of when blamore realized it had it was when it was twenty after having a manic episode, which led to him having to be hospitalized because it had experienced what is known as psychotic features (esp. disorganized thinking and hallucinations) along with the normal but also severe symptoms of a manic episode: increased risky or impulsive behavior, decreased need for sleep, and uncontrollable racing thoughts, just to name a few.

and i have done some research about it that states that mood-stabilizers / anti-psychotics, as well as psychotherapy, do help to treat it (though meds are usually the main way to, it seems) which i think blamore immediately tried to take after being told his diagnosis because it had encouraged him to make some bad decisions regarding his academic life + he was having trouble with maintaining his relationships as well and felt like his emotions were so heightened that he felt hopeless. i mean, to the point where it was crying and screaming into it's pillow every night.

so blamore decided to seek treatment after a bit of time spent in reluctance to accept that what he had was bipolar disorder, because at first, he just wanted to believe that he was depressed. and after trying out several medications along with different regiments, it seemed like it'd finally found something that worked for it. so blamore was doing well and thriving, in fact, for a while with just a little extra help from its meds. which is definitely possible for someone who has bipolar disorder to do, of course, because your diagnosis isn't who you are. and it is treatable like i mentioned previously.

now, however, is... a slightly different story. blamore has tried to return to taking medication for his bipolar disorder with the same dosage + regiment in general, but because he has an accelerated metabolism, it affects it's body differently now and has led to it experiencing some side effects that are pretty unfavorable in it's opinion. so it stopped taking it at that dosage and has now been switching between meds at the lowest possible one to try to find the right prescription, though blamore does sometimes forget to take it + has gotten sort of frustrated with it seeming to have no effect on him. so he may or may not be teetering in between the decision of just stopping it altogether.

though yeah, right now, the general gist of it is that blamore takes a drug for it at the lowest dose... inconsistently. so he may be prone to forgetting to take it for like a few days, or possibly longer and because of that, the meds may not have had enough time to work within him properly for lack of better words. and he has had several depressive episodes over this time as well as one really bad manic episode with perhaps some hypomanic ones that had gone undetected. thus, thing's are a bit complicated for him right now, to say the least and he is suspectible to experiencing more severe mood episodes again. buttt yeah,, i just thought i'd give y'all a little insight as to what having bipolar 1 has been like for blamore + how it tries to manage it today. i hoped you all liked this longer drabble of mine (':