Tw Swears - Tumblr Posts

minor school related rant (cw: lots of swears i need to vent in school rn ughh)

goddddddd i hate this fucking school system. most of the assignments arent even graded and pretty much only the tests are graded. this is fucking stupidddddd. mine sucks ass but grrrrr gshfhjksdhgjsguoabgsabdsiuaosuavpflihdgrioawkjlfhurwi. you know school some kids dont test well. they get real stressed and anxious about it AND EVEN MORE SO WHEN ITS THEIR ENTIRE FUCKING GRADE SO THEY KNOW IF THEY GET A BAD GRADE ON THIS TEST THEIR GRADE WILL DIE. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

god i feel like i always have to apologize for venting grrr

but you know whats not helping this? theres some hectic stuff going on at home right now too and thats stressful too and this fucking school thing isnt helping at all. and, when things arent graded most of the fucking time, i dont have motivation to do them. so i dont learn as much as i should be. and when the tests that DO get graded come around... well, i dont do as good as i could be doing.

some info first// HELLO.

What do i even say, I replayed Danganronpa: Goodbye Despair and my brain went ballistic

Um 🧍🏽

this is going to be a VERY long post but I hope anyhow enjoyable for you. For context, I was into Danganronpa a lot, when I decided to actually post my art in the internet! It kinda. Launched me into having more followers. Then it sort of melted, the interest, so I stopped and suddenly it hit me again, two years later!!! So. I decided to do something bigger and wrote a prologue of a fanfic!! I don’t know about the frequency of posting it or anything, for now it is what it is.

It will be called “Taken good care of.” and will be komahina centred:) sorry, I know this ship is kinda overrated and over popular, cliché if you may, but I really like it :(

I won’t tell you too much for now, you’ll see how the prologue goes. What I absolutely have to say is that. English is not my first language and I think it shows real bad?? My grammar sucks and I do write poorly, when it comes to verbs n such. I hope it won’t make your eyes bleed, cause frankly, I just wanna share this!! I used to write a lot for myself usually, but I never actually shared those works anywhere. Not in English at least :)

Okay so having that said, I think I’m gonna jump straight into posting this! Gonna mention straight away and I’ll also put the tags about those warnings: post game spoilers, cancer, ed. If I find anything else or if I forgot anything, I’ll put all my efforts to fill it up immediately! So yeah, enjoy!! 🥰

oh yeah and I made little illustrations along the story! ☺️

{Prologue}Taken good care of.

Upon finding out about the state of the world we were stuck in, there was no other way for us, rather than go back to the island. Given what we have done, we’d rather contain each other, rather than it being done by anyone else. Maybe someday we will- no. Maybe someday the world will be ready to welcome us back again. For now, we could celebrate on our own. Because… After all, we had a reason to, right?

Without having motives and deadly… bear robots constantly giving us reasons to doubt each other, we were all less scared to live on the empty Jabberwock. Although we knew we had a lot of adjusting to do. Unlike the simulation, the islands had no bridges! That meant learning how to travel via motorboats, which Kazuichi managed to put together for us. Except a couple of times my motorboat whipped out (with me onboard), it was easy to learn and before realising it, we began to race each other at bay.

We already knew the power we held as a group. These people became my family quicker than I thought, even if I was never their classmate to begin with. About that…

It was weird to “make amends” with Izuru. It’s not like we fought for who gets to stay; it was more like… just being at peace with myself. Izuru became part of me, peacefully. It felt natural, but still… It was bizarre at some point. Suddenly I was Ultimate… everything! Though no one intended to call me this. Hell, neither did I. Ultimate Hope sounded powerful enough. But suddenly, I was able to help Kazuichi with those boats, when I have never handled a wrench properly before. I managed to guide him, Fuyuhiko, Akane and Sonia to help me wake the others. It would literally take YEARS and at least three ultimates to come up with the emergency plan and learn to execute it properly. Like- surely some Ultimate Neurologist? Analyst? Programmer? I couldn’t get used to the fact that I alone was able to do what these people would have to work over, for a very long time.

Well… I guess it’s the result that counts. When we successfully woke up TeruTeru and Byakuya, Kazuichi called me Ultimate Jesus… I didn’t know if I was more offended or amused by this silly nickname.

Anyhow, our new life on islands started after arriving at Jabberwock. We parked the yacht in the port and left it until it was safe to go back. If ever. For now, it was island time.

We had to do a little cleaning here and there. Improving the environment would surely improve our wellbeing! At least that’s what I thought. Within just a month, the paths on islands were clean again and flowers and trees were in bloom. Sky seemed… a little bluer. As some say, nature was healing. Next step was taking care of the buildings. Some of them looked like they’re rotting; that had to be fixed quickly. Of course a building can’t rot, but you get what I mean.

Sonia took good care of library restoration along with a few helpers and before we knew it, our islands gained a cozy hangout and chill area. It worked the same way with everything else.

‘Honestly, if you wanted, you could fix everything in like, two days dude!’ Kazuichi commented, when I walked him to the electric avenue. I smirked lightly, shaking his head.

‘And that’s exactly why I’m allowing you guys to do it.’

‘That’s some Usami-kinda-shit. You want us to cooperate to tighten our friendships or something?’ My friend continued to joke around, full of life.

‘You could say that! Besides, you were stuck in the capsules for a dangerous amount of time. It’s necessary to shake up your muscles and wake them up a little.’ I shrugged with a simple explanation. Though my words seemed to fly over Kazuichi’s head a little. He began to mumble that it’s weird how muscles have to be stimulated, how bodybuilders’ muscles don’t disappear once built…

‘Well- how do you spend the days anyway??? You were sleeping too!’ He blurted out suddenly, which made me jump a little. Afterwards, I smiled at him.

‘You can call me Ultimate Supervisor for the moment.’ I let out a soft giggle. Kazuichi let out a quiet screech, messing up his cap and hair with his hands as he ruffled himself.

‘I can’t with you man!! I will NEVER get used to this shit.’ He whined at me but quickly shook it off, seeing Mahiru waving to him from a distance; after waving back at her, he turned to me, fixing his attire.

‘Let me guess. That’s where we part ways.’

‘I was gonna say that! Goddamn you, Hajime… yes. That’s where we part ways. There’s a lot of electronics to clean and repair in those stores.’ Kazuichi hummed, glaring at the avenue.

‘I won’t be stopping you… just be careful with the wires.’ I said calmly, waving as my friend was skipping steps to Mahiru and shouting to me, that we will see each other at lunch.

I breathed in and out deeply, turning around and beginning my everyday morning walk. I had to make sure everyone’s efforts were fruitful. That’s how almost every day looked like, for me and.. it started to get very boring. Ever since we woke up, I noticed I’m easily bored. That probably connects to Izuru. I remember brief images from his perspective and his feelings accompanying them; sometimes they creep me in the night. Izuru was bored by everything, because he knew everything. I often wonder, if his brain worked to the fullest? If we’re told we only use 10% of ours…

‘HEY!! Watch it!!’ I heard as my ears perked up immediately, pulling my head up. There were moments when something unexpected happened and my brain could calmly feed on it. This was one of those moments. The noises and raised voices came from the hospital’s side!

I rushed there quickly, worried, what could’ve happened, seeing a scene unfold before my eyes. Akane was pulling up a whole table from Nagito who seemed to be stuck under it. Obviously, the bright smile never disappeared from his face.

‘You’re such a dumbass- I told you all to not touch those tables!’ Akane kept screaming, while Mikan gently pulled Nagito out.

‘My my, I became a burden once again..!’

‘All it took was leaving the biggest table to me, that’s what I was saying from the beginning!’

‘I wonder what biiig luck awaits me after this enormous table falling on me-‘

‘SHUT THE HELL UP!!’

I saw that Akane was ready to throw hands, so I decided to intervene before Nagito’s spine actually breaks.

‘What’s happening? Is everyone okay?’ I asked, interrupting. All three heads turned to me with mixed expressions and eventually, the whole trio smiled at me. Could it be, I also possess the skill of Ultimate Peacemaker? Or maybe… Ultimate Happiness?

…sometimes I feel like I’m going too far.

‘It is now! Nagito could use more hearing sometimes though.’ Akane explained, rubbing the back of her head. Mikan agreed with her, making a small and rather shy nod.

‘T-True.. we were cleaning up t-the on-call room. In-In case we’d need more rooms. Akane told us she will pick up the table that- blocked the majority of the room.’ She added, allowing Akane to continue.

‘And then we saw Nagito carrying it out purely on his own! It’s like 6 times heavier than him! When I pointed it out to him, he lost his balance and collapsed with the table falling right on him!!’

‘It-It’s a miracle his spine is- is whole!’ The girls talked over each other, while Nagito stood on the side calmly, swaying from side to side.

‘Uhm, I don’t recall that… at all. Oh well; it is what it is! I only blame myself, Akane, don’t worry.’ He let out a soft laugh, to which Akane reacted… much.

‘Uh- Duh!? I blame you too!!’ She bounced aggressively at him. I reached out my hands, trying to chill her down.

‘Okay, okay- let’s not fight. Nagito is in one piece, thankfully. Next time he’s going to listen to you more. Is that correct, Nagito?’ I asked, squinting at him. Mr. Happy-go-Lucky nodded a couple of times, rubbing his cheek awkwardly.

‘I will listen to you with every muscle in my ears.’ He promised, putting his hands together. The conflict seemed to have been solved. I was about to walk off, seeing how Akane and Nagito got back to cleaning, before someone stopped me.

‘H-Hajime!-‘ I turned around, only to face Mikan. As usual, she seemed awfully unnerved. Or paranoid.

‘Yes? Can I help you?’ I asked softly, to which the girl looked around, fidgeting with her hands.

‘I… I really would hate to bother you- and I don’t want to at all- so if you’re, by any chance, busy, I will refrain of course-‘

‘I’m completely free, please go on.’ I insisted very calmly. Mikan simply nodded with a nervous matter, swallowing quickly and glared around.

‘Um… is it okay if we… uhm… it’s… complicated…’ she whispered, getting all mixed up, seemingly. I looked at her calmly, before understanding. She wanted to talk in private with me.

‘Hmm.. if it’s this kind of matter, maybe we could go to the café on the second island? Does that sound good?’ I proposed, and Mikan agreed happily and relieved she didn’t have to ask that herself. We waved our goodbyes to Akane and Nagito before finally departing.

When in the empty café, I decided to put my talents in use again and started preparing us coffee, using a professional coffee machine. Calm music was playing from the speakers, while I got tickled by the steam clouds that left the machine, when I foamed up the milk, humming. Mikan watched me carefully; I thought to myself she enjoyed it a lot.

‘Not to flex, but it’s like, the first time I’m making coffee like that.’ I smirked, trying to engage Mikan to talk. The girl tilted her head and smiled awkwardly, eventually giggling quietly.

‘Gosh… it’s… unbelievable. That you have all those talents. It must be such a burden on your shoulders..’ she blurted out, still watching my hands.

‘Burden… I guess. It doesn’t feel that heavy, actually. I’m just bored a lot; my brain doesn’t have too much to chew on.’ I denied softly, placing the cups on their respective plates and carried the coffee to the table.

‘Did you know that 12 cups of coffee with- well- regular dose of caffeine- is most definitely a- a deadly dose?’ To my pleasant surprise, Mikan said something on her own, as she sat down at the table with me. It was a good feeling to see her self-esteem improve. I smiled at the coffee funfact she told me. I knew, obviously, but after all… I’m a well-mannered man.

‘Is that so? That's curious. I can’t imagine drinking this much coffee at once.’ I answered calmly, raising a cup to my lips to take a sip. Mikan did the same thing, letting out a bright hum.

‘I don’t… I don’t really drink coffee. I have a very- very fast b-blood pressure anyway.. though when you’re around, t-the whole world seems to slow down.’ She admitted happily. I took that as a compliment… My friends told me that often. Again, it probably had to do with one of the talents. ‘Nagito is right w-when he refers to y-you as.. as Ultimate Serenity. And.. speaking of Nagito.. I… I wanted to talk about him.’

My happy little sips stopped as soon as Mikan mentioned that Nagito is part of this matter. Hell, maybe even not only the part. Maybe he is the main subject. Or the cause…? I raised my eyes to look at Mikan’s face, setting down my coffee cup and blinking slowly.

‘…alright. Feel free to tell me everything I need to know.’ I spoke gently. I had to do absolutely everything for Mikan to feel comfortable enough to talk… who knows how serious the issue was.

Mikan meanwhile, took another small sip of coffee and put away the cup, setting her hands together, right on her lap, before speaking up.

‘I-I reckon… you- you were.. you seemed close to him…? A-Anyhow… I… I can’t help but- to feel… t-to be concerned about Nagito! H.. His health.’ Mikan explained roughly, gesturing a lot. I listened to what she had to say, tilting my head. At first, I thought Mikan was telling me that Nagito caught a cold or something… until I remembered what happened, when we were in a coma.

‘Right… I talked to Nagito in the simulation. He told me about being diagnosed with.. f.. frontotemporal dementia and lymphoma. But then he backed out and said it was just a lie. I’m not sure if these were lies or no, but that’s what I can tell you. It slipped my mind completely, but since you’re a nurse, you must’ve noticed something. Could you tell me more?’ I asked in a worried tone. Of course I was worried about Nagito… he used to say weird stuff after waking up, but since he was no longer planning any murders, he became more tolerable.

Mikan bit her lower lip, looking away.

‘O-Oh my… I… I had no idea… e-even though I suspected something- no healthy human… could produce white hair… n-not in his age at least! O-Of course old people- and- genetics mess it up sometimes b-but… his hair s-seems to have had a normal c-colour before.’

‘Yup, they’re sort of… light pink mixed with light brown on ends…’

‘B-Besides… that table situation. Um… F-Fuyuhiko… was able to lift that table up with ease, a few days prior. And- he is definitely weaker… than Nagito. L-lighter too… Nagito should be able to c-carry it out with ease.. m-meanwhile he.. was sweating profusely. As if he was… very laboured from lifting it.’

Hm.. that was new. I remembered Nagito having a lot of energy and strength. But… These memories were from the program again. Not only our avatars were our younger selves; it was all just a simulation and played in our minds and a fake environment.

‘H-Hajime…? I… I hate to bother you with this, b-but- if you could.. take a look at Nagito for me? I- I just- I need to confirm my worries!- O-Only if you- you don’t have to of course!-‘ Mikan got nervous again, stomping her feet against the floor. I coughed quietly, sitting up straight and smiled at Mikan calmly.

‘Calm down, please. Of course I will check him out. You did well, informing me about it, thank you.’ I answered her, making sure she was praised generously. Truthfully, her observations were absolutely crucial. I was so focused with all matters regarding islands and their restoration after The Tragedy, that I forgot about checking up on my friends. And if one of them was in danger… I had to ensure their safety.

When the Sun finally settled, I decided to go for a small, not at all suspicious walk on the beach. I was originally heading to my motorboat though. In our simulation, the second island contained some sort of ancient ruins, overgrown by plants and when we left, the building looked similar to the ruins - but modern. At the moment, we use it as our archive, not only collecting the past, but also preserving the current times. For the future.

The goal of my visit to the archive was obvious! I had to collect Nagito’s documents. Especially medical record, for Mikan to go through. I could read it too obviously, but truth be told… I wanted them all to still feel useful and needed, even in my presence. I thought it was the obvious reason why I allowed them all to work on their own and I hoped it was appreciated by them. At least a little.

I hopped on the motorboat and swam away from the main island. Eventually I looked behind to notice dim lights of the cottages in the hotel. Eventually, most of them went out, meaning everyone went to sleep. I couldn’t help but smile at that. That… had to be the peace we all dreamed of.

‘We’ve made it. I’m so sorry you can’t see it.’ I whispered, raising my head to stare at the night sky, filled with sparkling stars. Chiaki… I missed her deeply. Her death made everyone fall in complete despair and even Izuru himself cried over her body. And it hurt my heart that she couldn’t be there to experience the peace we all achieved. She would probably… chill on the beach or dig herself in the blankets Sonia put in the library to cozy it up. Hm… I can’t be right. She does see that all. I bet she’s sitting in the stars. She smiles at every act of kindness, laughs at every little argument… She's okay.

I shook my head gently, remembering my original task and pressed gas, starting to swim through the bay again. I couldn’t help those short episodes I had… When it’s so quiet at night, brain thinks more than usual.

Eventually I made it to the archive and picked up the documents. When I stood there in complete darkness, with one flashlight in my hand, I smiled to myself, continuing to think how much I actually changed.

‘See, thanks to you, I know it’s illogical for something to stand behind me in the darkness..’ I hummed to myself. Well, partly to myself, partly to Izuru. I used to be horribly paranoid in darkness, but now? Whenever I thought of something that scared me… my Ultimate Logic activates and fear goes away, like that! Unbelievable.

I guess I had to call it a day. That, I thought to myself when I was on my way back. Noticing all the lights went out in the hotel, I knew I had to be very quiet when going back to my cottage…

I peeked at Nagito’s documents, starting to wonder if that was even legal to do? I took the private records… no. Nagito might’ve been in danger and I couldn’t allow anything bad to happen to him. That’s what I promised to Chiaki. And myself, after we woke everyone up. That I will protect them with all my power..

I wondered if something such as Ultimate Leader existed on the list of talents I possess, because… I sure felt like one.