Txt Hyung Line - Tumblr Posts

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ² ]

Since the first explosion I could not stop thinking about you. I promised myself to do my best to get out of this situation safely, but I could't ignore the cries for help. 

I tried to be selfish, to think only of myself. But it was impossible. You would do the same. So I did it for you, for me. For them.  

They were scared. 

There was fire and smoke after every explosion. 

Don't leave me, don't let me go. 

I don't remember how many times I left that makeshift shelter. I went out in search of more people, I didn't want to leave anyone behind. 

I went out again. I had to be sure no one was at risk. I could not forgive myself if someone lost their life. I checked again one by one the rooms where I was able to enter. Screaming for a sign. 

It was getting harder and harder to breathe, the smoke burned in my lungs with every breath. But I couldn't stop, not now, not yet. 

My vision was getting dimmer and dimmer because of the dust and smoke mixed in the atmosphere. In certain areas I was beginning to feel a hellish heat, caused by the fire left by each explosion. Large chunks of concrete were falling everywhere, this would not last much longer. 

I stopped for a moment, just to take a look around me. And I was afraid. For the first time since the disaster started, I was scared. Afraid of leaving you alone, afraid of never seeing you again. 

I'm sure you're worried. I have to find a way out. It could take hours for the rescuers to reach us. 

I decided to go back to check on the others, when I felt a strong jolt. I stopped again and inspected my surroundings, everything looked normal, as far as I could tell. One step, that was all; one step and I felt a great weight on me. 

Everything went black.  

I needed to see your face, I needed to look into your eyes. I would like to be next to you, because when I look into your eyes everything seems better.        

I feel like breathing my last breath. Don't worry because everything will be alright.  I only have one life and I want to live it with you. 

I know you feel fear baby, I feel the same way. 

I sink deeper into this immense darkness. I begin to forget the way you used to look at me. I put my heart in your hands, I give you my soul to take care of. Could you forgive me for my mistakes, please! I am so grateful for the time we spent together. 

You became my everything. My soul is now at peace.

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ³ ]

I am alone in your room waiting for your call to come soon. 

I feel lonely, Soobin has left some time ago, I had no words to comfort him, neither could I ask him to take care of me at this time. 

If I had my favorite guy with me I wouldn't feel fear. 

I feel this fear is consuming me, still no news, where are you? The house feels different, it feels empty. No one dares to smile.  I haven't been able to sleep, I can't eat, I can only cry.  

I'm afraid of losing you. 

I miss that smile when you looked at me. I'd give up everything, to have you here. I want to confess that I miss you so much.

Should I try to sleep? Is this a cruel nightmare? I don't know what to do anymore, I'm not aware of the time that goes by, it seems like it's been years.

I feel I've lost the life that filled me, I've run out of joy, what will we do without you? Nothing will be the same.

I lay down on the bed again, hugging one of your pillows tightly. It has your scent, it feels like you are here with me. I wish someone would come and give me comforting words. I need someone to tell me that you're okay, that you are alive.

"It has been 36 hours since the building collapse. Relief and rescue efforts have yet to find any of the people who were reported trapped."

Thousands of memories cross my mind, the day we met, our first kiss, our first date.

So many good times, I close my eyes and picture you here, You're standing right in front of me, with that beautiful smile narrowing your eyes, but suddenly you fade away, a constant reminder of how close I am to losing you.

"48 hours of searching, people start to lose hope."

"54 hours of searching. A miracle has occurred, the trapped people have been located alive. The search efforts are over now, the city, the Country can breathe easy again."

The door burst open giving way to the rushing sounds caused by the boys entering the room. I took a seat on the bed and they were all there.

Tae was the first to speak.

—They've found them. They've been put to safety—. He paused unnecessarily

Should I celebrate? You were safe now.

—Yeonjun was not with them—. Soobin's words broke my heart again.

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The whole time I was conscious at times.

I couldn't do anything, it hurt to breathe so I couldn't even try to make any movement.

I opened my eyes and visualized the horror in which I was trapped. I forced myself to close my eyes again.

I couldn't look at that, I couldn't look at the place I was in.

I refused to observe what separated me from you.

An immense peace took over my being.

I no longer felt pain, I no longer felt fear, I opened my eyes once again, there was no ruins, no fire. A beautiful blue sky stretched into the distance, I was outside, I was free.

But only my soul managed to escape.

I failed you, I failed to keep my promise to come back to you.

My love, I am sorry.

But please don't forget that I will always take care of you. You and the guys.

Watching the distance of that valley, the panorama changed.

Everything went black and uncontrollable crying flooded the air.

I'm standing outside the mess. When did I get here? How did I get out?

I look around me and there is a lot of movement. Rescue crews are coming and going.

An immense pain invaded my whole body, I need someone to help me.

Somebody please help me. But everyone keeps passing me by, what's going on?

Finally a paramedic seems to address me and I bend down to greet him.

—Excuse me...— No, that's not true. How is that even possible? I looked down taking a look at my body. Everything looks normal but he... He just passed through me.

He went through me.

This really can't be happening.

Desperately I kept looking around, looking for a sign, looking for something that would tell me this was a nightmare. But nothing happened.

And nothing was going to happen.

Me literally any time information would be helpful