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Utah Gothic

Everyone says you have the worst drivers.You know they've never left the state. You wonder how they know. You leave cricket shaped offerings for the seagulls on the 24th of July. Last year your neighbors didn't. You have new neighbors. You like them. You hope they do not make the same mistake. The tourists come to visit the red rocks. The tourists come to visit the arches. The tourists come to visit Goblin Valley. The tourists come to visit Zion's.  The tourists come to visit Temple Square. The tourists do not leave. You do not visit tourist attractions. You do not go swimming in Utah Lake. Your friends invite you to a bonfire on the shore. You hear screams of those who ignored the warning. Your bonfire tuns into a vigil. There is a teacher shortage, they say. There has always been a teacher shortage. You go into teaching. You are not engaged or newly married. You do not get hired. The only teachers are those who have been teaching since before your parents were their students. New teachers quit and do not go back. They say they weren't cut out for teaching. They look over their shoulder as they say this. They are not seen again. There is a teacher shortage, they say. You get invited to a wedding reception. You get invited to a wedding reception. You get invited to a wedding reception. There is a wedding reception every weekend. Your friends that get married promise they will keep in touch when you see them at the reception. They say they are happy. You dread the day when you will be forced to say the same things. Your friend group gets younger and younger and you pray you have been forgotten. You leave larger and larger offerings at the receptions Everyone speaks an additional language. You do not know where they learned Tagalog. All you know is that when you asked last their eyes glazed over and they repeated memorized stories. They offer to teach you. You back away slowly. You only eat casseroles. You do not know where they came from. You are afraid to ask. You ignore the bones you find. Everyone you know comes from a small town you've never heard of. They never speak about it, no matter how many questions they are asked. They say Park City is just through the canyon. Whenever you go looking for it you end up driving back into the valley through a different canyon. East is toward the mountain, they tell you. You are confused. You are surrounded by mountains. Spring never comes. Winter and Summer battle for three months. Summer eventually wins. You worry it won't win next year and you will have to live through another year of winter. You are prepared for a disaster. You are grateful the tourist sacrifices have kept the earthquake at bay, but you do not know how much longer the earthquake will be sated.

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