Vent Rant? - Tumblr Posts
feeling this after waking up
current fic wips im working on
sorry ive been quiet as fuck LOL
uhh..
the next part of the scu x dsmp crossover thing im doing (I'm still working on a title, idk man its subject to change and contains possible spoilers)
chapter 4 of this multi-chapter story (except i havent touched it in weeks sOBS im gonna procrastinate so long it becomes discontinued, ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE IVE UPDATED THe STORY LOL) \/ vent rant. dont read if you arent interested ig :'D? \/
uh.. a vent fic. that is probably cursed and problematic and i apologize is it still problematic if im venting and quite literally projecting on two comfort characters to act out the events in a similar fashion of a thing that caused me trauma? idk man ive never actually fully gotten into detail but im not pulling any stops now (besides the censor of a dead name because one is trans, and i cant handle hearing my dead name in writing, and cant for all hell think of one) 'Closure (That's all I wanted.)' fact to add onto that vent fic- so actually, fun fact, tommys dsmp prison stream where he visited dream to get closure and then kinda.. yknow was what inspired me in the end to try to find closure from my.. 'abuser'? manipulator? i dont know man. person who caused me major trauma that later ended up in me wishing death upon myself and shit? (dont worry, i got over it eventually. im okay now) yeah so anyway that stream made me think, 'huh, maybe i should try to get closure. this should be fine' yeah no it wasnt fine, i shouldve gotten the hint from the thing with tommy lmao?? but so basically its just been kinda bothering me but i never did actually talk about it to someone, so watch me pour out my trauma shit except im too squeamish so it probably has shit pacing but if i pull up the old messages ill get so nervous and panicky i cant write for shit im sorry, its tombur. i needed a minor and someone who said minor would automatically have a trust and depend on that then that person goes into a depressive state and does fucked up probably illegal shit to said minor in that shitty state because-- it wouldnt make sense otherwise when im trying to project the events..? just note that its a bad idea to try to go to a minor for help when you have mental health issues as like a teen or adult because then you pass that onto them and make them feel shittier trying to take care of you and-- im gonna stop now. im sorry, agh. problematic ship, haha. i guess youd call a part of my trauma a problematic ship though because it was minor/minor and-- am i allowed to make like jokes about this? i dont know man, people are like 'you cant make gay jokes unless youre gay!', you think that fits here? probably not. im gonna go disappear now D:
i actually dont know if the vent fic is helping since im kinda having bad days more now but i mean like.. if i never get this out, then i never will, and hey maybe im nervous for nothing and itll be fine and then maybe i can cope this way by venting out all my trauma lol
Let talk about black religion trauma bro
You can vent/rant about your experience