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Be My Valentine

Vernon Mini-Series | Completed | Fandom: Seventeen

pairing: Vernon x reader

genre: fluff, angst, slight crack, friends to lovers, non-idol!au, college au

summary: College was hard enough and the thought of spending Valentine's Day alone and sad was not your style. And the best solution was to go on a platonic date with your best friend Vernon. It goes so well that it becomes a tradition until it gets messy... nothing ever goes wrong by pretend-dating your best friend right?

status: complete

a/n: first time trying something like this cuz I saw too many edits on Vernon's Fire verse! Please tell me your feedback!

pictures from Pinterest!

Chapters

ch 1 - No

ch 2 - It's a Success!

ch 3 - Turbulent Traditions

ch 4 - Uh Oh

ch 5 - My Forever Valentine...

Be My Valentine | Ch- 1 "No"

pairing: Vernon x reader

genre: fluff, angst, slight crack, friends to lovers, non-idol!au, college au

summary: College was hard enough and the thought of spending Valentine’s Day alone and sad was not your style. And the best solution was to go on a platonic date with your best friend Vernon. It goes so well that it becomes a tradition until it gets messy… nothing ever goes wrong by pretend-dating your best friend right?

status: ongoing

a/n: first time trying something like this cuz I saw too many edits on Vernon’s Fire verse! Please tell me your feedback!

pictures from Pinterest!

As if the sheer cold of the dying February winter was not enough to make life miserable, it also had to be dubbed the month of love. You weren’t a cynic but you knew enough to understand that Valentine’s Day and the gala around it is all nothing but a big capitalistic scheme. As the happy couples invest in the meaningless gifts and expressions of their extravagant love, the lonely saps drown their sorrows in the name of self-love. But your biggest complaint against this whole bonanza is the forced self-hate, even though it usually felt perfectly normal to be single and you even enjoyed it, this time of the year it always felt worse.

Maybe you were just another miserable single sap.

This year was going to be different. You were determined. But also you didn’t want to go through the painful process of pretending to be interested in a guy who, like all the other ones, would either turn out to be misogynist, homophobe or a transphobe- which constitutes 90% of the available population in your uni.

Hence why you find yourself walking with purpose toward the university library with the sole motive of hunting down you’re too smart for his own good best friend of a year and a half, Vernon.

You still remember meeting that shy little boy on the first day of your undergrad, looking lost in the crowd of the class and hoping you would let him sit with you. All it took was an awkward introduction for both of you to build your solid friendship. It was a perfect match- him, a hardworking genius with very minimal social skills and you, an almost genius with the concentration skills of a goldfish.

Vernon might be top of the class, a computer nerd with the face of a young Leo DiCaprio but even he was prone to the February blues and having seen how miserable he was during the previous year Valentines Day, especially as he watched his high school ex go gallivanting about with his then-roommate, you were determined to make this year a good memory for both you.

Also, he is the only guy in the university that you trust and is capable of handling you at the height of your drunkenness.

Looking at your watch you realise that only 10 minutes are left before he leaves his sanctuary at the library and goes to his Virtual Reality class. Of course, you knew his schedule, and he knew yours. He also knew that you hated being left on read and yet chose to do the exact same thing when you had texted the previous night about your genius plan.

Wheezing you finally reach the third floor of the big library that hosted all varieties of nerds and unfortunately, couples (they're everywhere this month, ugh). Walking across rows of shelves interspersed with group tables filled with students seeking refuge from the harsh winter cold or simply biding time, you finally reach the semi-private cabins.

Counting down five from the cabin to your right, you march toward the one you knew Vernon would be in. And surely enough, when you peek your head through the partition separating the hooded figure on the chair, with headphones and his laptop, from the rest of the library.

His head is bent as if he was peering into the laptop through the screen and as you move closer to his chair to reprimand him you realise he is sleeping. Gently moving inside the cabin, standing near the table, facing him, you can see that he had slept while coding. It doesn’t even surprise you anymore.

“Hey douchebag”, you say as you tap lightly on his shoulders. He jerks awake and blinks a couple of times before you see the understanding of reality dawn on his face. Removing his headphones, he moves his chair lightly behind and ruffles his fluffy hair.

“What do YOU want?” He sounds like his usual annoyed self. If you didn’t know he truly did like you as a friend you'd be offended.

But you don’t mind the grumpiness one bit as you settle down on the little space on the table smiling lazily as he gets more annoyed by the disturbance to his ecosystem of peace.

“I want a lot of things, for instance, I want a big mansion on top of a hill just to relax in the summer. I want to know why dolphins were made to be sea creatures if they can’t even breathe in water. I want to know why my skin breaks out in hives due to stress ONLY on my left side. I want to know why I get horny when-“ “Please shut the fuck up.”

He cuts you off with his palms reaching up to cover your mouth mid-sentence. You try mumbling against his palm for a second before which he grips tighter effectively stopping any attempt on your side.

He slowly lifts his eyebrows to warn you against trying to babble again and you nod in affirmative to the same. His eyes thin as he considers your sincerity of shutting up and seemingly convinced releases his grip on your face.

“Why do you talk so much all the time!” He growls as he rubs his eyes while settling back on his chair and lets out a yawn. He looks so much like the freshman kid you met and less like the overworked junior that he is.

You shrug nonchalantly (or so you hope).

“Someone needs to balance your entire lack of energy.” He sighs and slumps back on his chair. “Yeah yeah, I’m not arguing with you anymore… I’ve learned it’s best to just agree with you.” You give him a sarcastic smile as you say, “They don’t call you smart without a reason.”

He responds with an incoherent dismissive grunt and after a moment begins to lean forward as he tilts his chair towards you with both his palms placed on either side of your thigh.

Oh.

“No.” That’s all he says, his brown eyes twinkling, mouth pressed into a straight line looking right at your eye. You're sitting on the inclination of the table and he's on the chair looking up at you, yet he looks so intimidating. Not that you are going to let him bother you.

Two can play this game.

You lean forward and meet his face, a good few inches apart, bring out the good old puppy dog eyes and whisper, “What is the ‘no’ for Hansol”. You purposefully use his Korean name knowing he gets annoyed when you say it (Not sure what that is about till now).

You can see him grinding his teeth beneath that calmness and a smirk naturally plays up your face.

“Quit it, y/n. I saw the text and I’m not going to do it. Get lost.” The words fall out of his mouth in a hurry as he continues to grit his teeth together and not lose eye contact.

“Oh, so you did leave me on read by purpose.” You fake a heartache with your left palm pressed on your chest and your right palm on your forehead. He sees you dramatically pretending to have a heart attack and headache at the same time for a good minute before he decides to end this charade. Just as he moves to get up from the chair you hold him down with your hands on his which were at the side of your thighs.

“Pleaseee”, this time the puppy dog eyes come out naturally. He looks at you for a second before sighing.

“Ugh! You’re impossible but alright.”

“Wait really?!” You squeal a little too loud in excitement and earn a dozen “shh”s in response from the general crowd in the library. Looking around apologetically and back at Vernon, you hold his hands in yours (they’re somehow always warm even in the depths of winter).

“Is that a yes?” Cue more puppy eyes. Another sigh. “I don’t have a choice do I!” Grinning wide, you say “Not really.”

Vernon looks to the side as if to consider something important before turning to you, looking down at your still-connected hands, and then your face.

“I’ll do it but it’s gotta be strictly platonic-“ you’re violently shaking your head in positive because of course that doesn’t need to be said.

“-andddd….”, he’s got a mischievous glint in his eyes which stinks of trouble for you. This is the same glint he had when you ended up eating a pizza with ice cream AND a steak.

“And?” You prod, curiosity up to the brim of your head. “I want you to formally ask me… now.” The grin has turned into an almost full bright smile. “What does formally mean?”

“I’ll leave the details to you…” he shrugs and removes his hands from yours and pushes the chair all the way back to the wall and folds his hand.

“I can wait all day”, he sounds way too proud, sitting there in his hoodie and that smirk(I swear he looks like an actual young Leo).

“No, you can’t. You have a class in-“, you make an ordeal of checking your watch, ”-exactly 9 mins.” He shrugs, “This is worth missing it.”

This bitch.

"Are you really cashing in your bet right now?" You ask referring to the advantage he got after you lost your bet in a UNO game six months back.

He just nods casually and stretches on the chair before settling in a lazy and proud position, again.

You groan knowing he won't give up and get down from the table and get on one knee facing him.

“Chwe Hansol Ve-“ “Nope. Redo.”

This actual bitch.

Giving him your best glare you adjust on your knee, clearing your throat, you try again.

“Vernon…”, you look at him for approval and he nods. Ugh.

“… will you be m-“

“Louder, I can’t hear you.” His grin has transformed into one of his signature all-teeth-visible smiles and his entire face is lit up in amusement and joy.

Clearing your throat a little too loudly, you try… for the third time. Humiliation and anger heat up your entire face.

“Vernon, will you be my platonic Valentine?”

Your voice echoes in the near-silent library halls and the minute you’re done at least another 20 “shhs” are once again thrown your way.

People are assholes.

Vernon looks positively thrilled. He is full-on laughing, shoulders jerking, all 32 of his teeth in display and eyes disappearing behind the light of his smile.

If only he didn’t look so wholesome and adorable when he humiliates you.

He straightens up after a couple seconds and rubs his index finger against in chin, in fake thought.

“Hmmmm...”

Oh god, he is planning something... shit

"No."

Be My Valentine | Ch- 2  It’s a Success!

pairing: Vernon x reader

genre: fluff, angst, slight crack, friends to lovers, non-idol!au, college au

summary: College was hard enough and the thought of spending Valentine’s Day alone and sad was not your style. And the best solution was to go on a platonic date with your best friend Vernon. It goes so well that it becomes a tradition until it gets messy… nothing ever goes wrong by pretend-dating your best friend right?

prev chapter | masterlist | next chapter

wordcount: 2.6k

a/n: So glad for the positive reaction to Chapter 1, hope you like this as well. Would love to hear your feedback about this!

pictures from Pinterest!

I am going to murder Vernon, ugh!

That is the singular thought in your brain as you stare at the tickets in your hand- a ticket to the amusement park in the city.

After the showdown of his "rejecting" your very public proposal hours prior, he got excited to plan the platonic date. You regretted the minute you agreed to let him do it, losing bets to Vernon was getting very annoying for you.

In your defence you could never say no to his smile- his whole face really did light up and his eyes disappeared into thin crescents.

"UGH!"

You groan out loud for the fifth time since he gave the tickets two hours back- 10 minutes after the drama at the library. It still surprises you how he had the amusement park tickets for the 14th of February ready. The previous day you had texted him at 3 am in the morning so he couldn't have bought the tickets before you met him in the library at 10 am.

Oh shit. What if he had another plan?

Did Vernon have a date that you didn't even bother to ask about? But then he could've easily said so, why did he agree? Even if he did have a date- probably a first date, why on earth did he plan an amusement park date?

Another groan involuntarily leaves your throat. This was not what you had in mind when you suggested this platonic date. You just wanted to have a nice dinner, some luxurious wine and get the couple's discount by pretending to be a couple. But of course, Vernon had to choose the one place you would hate.

Sigh. It's going to be a long weekend.

The next couple of days were surely one of the longest and most dreadful days of your life. Vernon on the other hand had seemed way too chirpy and happy the entire time. He constantly had a shit-eating grin on his face, even when he almost failed a pop quiz trying to tease you about the dangerous rides. But once he sees the panic rising on your face he always drops the teasing and comforts you- usually with food, which worked efficiently.

As the day came closer you kept begging Vernon to change the plan but he refused to budge. He did however agree to take you on one only one of the big rides- the rollercoaster.

Which is the reason for your current turmoil- to eat or to not eat. Throwing up definitely would not be ideal for a platonic date but you didn’t want to starve either.

After a good half an hour of pacing around your dorm room and eventually giving up on food, you dress in your most comfortable outfit. You wait in the room until your roommate and other friends leave for their V-Day plans, not wanting to be questioned about your outfit choices and plans for the night. You did not want to relive the taunting that you got from your roommate while explaining the whole ordeal. According to her, platonic dates between best friends never end well, but little does she know how close and amazing you and Vernon are.

Haters gonna hate hmmph!

*ping*

The notification interrupts your train of thought and you see a message from Vernon.

Come down. Don't be late.

Always the charmer.

Gathering your things you go down to the dorm entrance to see Vernon standing in his black hoodie and jeans, hands in his pockets and hair all fluffed up as he paces around looking at the ground.

"Hey", you drawl out as you reach him. He looks up and smiles his brilliant hundred-watt smile, cheeks pink from the cold and those cute crescent eyes coming out in full glory.

"Hey there. Ready to go?"

You nod nervously, "More than I'll ever be."

He holds your hand in his, rubbing circles around your palm to calm you down. He started doing this accidentally when he first saw you having a panic attack in your first semester. It has been a constant habit since.

Walking along in silence, hands still intertwined, you reach the amusement park ten minutes later. You had seen it before from the outside but nothing could’ve prepared you for how big the whole place was. There must have been a dozen giant rides including a roller coaster, a giant wheel, those rocking boats and even a pretty carousel. There also seemed to be a lot of smaller stalls with games like claw machines, hoop games and more filled with plushies as prizes.

That’s definitely one thing I want to do today.

You felt kinda good about this, so you turn to look up at Vernon’s face and he is looking around all excited. Smiling at the rides with childlike wonder with his mouth wide open in a gorgeous smile and his eyes lit up with excitement.

Your stomach rumbles and before you overthink about it, you disregard it as hunger.

He finally looks down at you and his eyes are immediately filled with concern.

“Hey is this really okay with you? Or do you want to go somewhere else?” He enquires in his soft, low voice.

Even if you weren’t okay with this you would never have the heart to deprive him of this experience which he clearly wants so bad. For god’s sake, he even had the tickets ready with him. Plus this place was not filled with as many over-emotional and horny couples as most other places tonight.

“Yeah, I’m good. This looks really fun!” You say with all the enthusiasm you can muster but he catches on to the slight tremor in your voice and doesn’t look entirely convinced.

You sigh and turn fully toward him and hold both his hands in yours. “I’ll be fine. This doesn’t look half as scary as I thought it would be. Don’t worry so much Vernon. Now let’s go and enjoy our platonic date”

You flash him your most sincere smile and he nods in acceptance as he returns the smile to you.

After looking at all the rides both of you decide to get over with the scary ones first- you eventually gave in and agreed to do them all (blame Vernon’s puppy-dog eyes). After those, you both decide on having food and end the night with fun small games.

Starting with the giant Ferris wheel and doing the roller coaster and pendulum boat ride all back to back definitely was not a good idea but you powered through them all by literally clinging to Vernon for support the whole time. While he was laughing and screaming in pure joy and thrill, looking funny and cute at the same time, you were screaming for your life out of pure joy- pretty sure you looked horrendous in comparison.

But all the junk food and the three plushies you won at the smaller stalls later definitely made up for the anxiety. Especially watching Vernon, the renowned genius, struggle with the claw machine as he tried to win you the yellow chick rabbit plushie made you giddy with happiness.

After a long time, this entire evening was spent without both of you bickering with each other. You still did taunt him at every opportunity you got- after you were done being shit scared. He was happy and talkative the whole time- a rare sight indeed. His exuberant smiles and excited shouts, when you both won the whack-a-mole game, were priceless.

This was definitely one of my best ideas. EVER.

You feel proud of your ‘genius’ as you walk back to the campus with Vernon, both of you silently enjoying your ice creams. You see him trying to balance two of the plushies you had won earlier as he tried not to drop the ice cream or the plushies. You smile to yourself, glad this evening went happily for both of you, while hugging the other plushie both of you won.

“Loser, don’t smile at my misery.”

You hear him whine as he catches your smile, mistaking it for mocking. You turn to him and hit him in the arm with the plushie that you’re holding. Before he can retaliate, you take a big bite of your strawberry ice and stick your tongue out at Vernon in mock.

He mirrors your action and you see his tongue is blue from the blueberry cola he is having.

Both of you look at each other for a moment- weirdly coloured tongues sticking out at each other like kids and burst out laughing. You keep walking while laughing like idiots and eventually come near your dorm gates.

Both of you reach a natural stop when you’re a little away from the actual gate. There are crowds of some girls, all dressed up, coming back from their dates and there are also girls in their sweats bringing in takeout to the dorms.

You both lean on the wall near the compound of the dorms, a usual spot for the two of you, finally done with the ice creams and just standing in comfortable silence.

The silence was always comfortable with Vernon, everything was honestly.

“Hey y/n..?” His voice is low and uncertain.

You hum in acknowledgment as you turn to look at him from the plushie in your hand.

“How was the 'platonic' Valentine’s date?"

He looks and sounds extremely nervous, although it’s only noticeable because you are attuned to every change in his tone and his micro-expressions. The slight shake in his voice, the little gulp afterwards and the death grip on the plushies in both of his hands gave it away this time.

You give him a reassuring smile and say your honest thoughts- which is essentially a ramble of every incoherent thought forming in your brain.

“I had an amazing evening! Never thought I’d actually enjoy going to an amusement park in my life. It’s my first time riding a carousel since I was 5 and I loved every second of it. The highlight was definitely those waffles and ice cream. Oh, and winning the plushies was Definitely a huge plus point. I am a genius! This is probably the most genius thing I’ve done in my life. I’m actually very happy. Why aren’t you saying anything?“

You finally end the ramble realising he was very silent and in all your animated rambling while cuddling the cute plushie in your hands, you forgot to check on Vernon.

But there he is, smiling as he stares at you. One corner of his mouth slightly tipped higher than the other, his mouth making a gorgeous bow shape, showing off his teeth and a small strand of hair falling on his face. Just as you can try to move it back he does it himself and for a second your stomach rumbles again as he runs his fingers through his hair- still smiling big.

“How do you always talk so much ?” He half questions and half laughs. You find yourself also smiling involuntarily and immediately straighten up to mock glare at him.

“Oh please! As if you didn’t talk for an hour straight during the rides… that too about your coding projects of all things!”

He smiles a little more brightly at this and sighs happily. “I was doing that to calm you down loser.”

His face is soft and his voice low and deep.

Cue stomach rumbling.

I really need to figure out what’s wrong with my stomach today.

Taking a mental note to visit the health centre the next day, you smile at him. Vernon might be an annoying nerdy idiot but he always cares… a lot.

Checking your watch you decide to head back as it’s almost 10 pm. Just as you bid bye to Vernon, who looks almost disappointed at that, he stops you.

“Do you not want the plushies ?” He questions holding out the plushies in his hand and looking at you earnestly.

“Don’t you want one?” You question back seeing how he’s ready to give both to you.

He considers the question for a minute before breaking out into another of his 'I have a good idea' smiles.

Uh Oh.

“Okayyy, I have an idea… you take the yellow chick one cuz you obviously want it-“, he points to the one in my hand and I nod.

“- I take the unicorn plushie”, he holds up the purple unicorn plushie in his right hand.

“- and the little puppy one…”, his eyes are gleaming so brightly as he looks at the cute puppy plushie in his left hand.

“If you want you can have it." You say hurriedly seeing that he clearly loves it.

He looks confused for a second then pouts as he shakes his head side to side in disagreement.

“No no, I was going to say let’s share it. Every Valentine’s Day we will exchange it. So I'll keep it until our date next year.”

To say he looks proud is an understatement. He might always well have won a Nobel prize the way he is grinning ear to ear. You feel a ball of anxiety rise up from your stomach and you push it back down taking a deep breath.

“Hmm not a bad idea but wait... does this mean we are doing this again next year?”

“Yeah, why not! This one was fun and I don’t mind making this a tradition.” He shrugs casually.

You consider it for a moment, it was not a bad idea. You were touched he wants a tradition with you but you were worried it is going to become complicated eventually. Because what happens when he finds someone better to spend the day with... or if you find someone else, although the chances seem minuscule. You wouldn't mind making this day about your friendship with Vernon, but it still feels like a lot.

Your stomach is rumbling again and you gulp before smiling back at Vernon's expectant face. You really cannot say no to his eager, puppy-dog eyes and that damn smile. The same face that led to him sitting with you on the first day and the face that made you lose so many bets and perform the embarrassing penalties that usually followed.

"Is that a yes?" He is in peak puppy-dog mode and looks at you with all the adoration and something else that you can't quite figure out.

You sigh as you nod to signal yes as you see him reach another level of happiness.

Your roommate’s warning echoes in your head- “Dates with your 'best friend' never end well. I hope neither of you ends up breaking each other’s hearts in this process.”

I can’t break Vernon’s heart. I won't. I shouldn't.

Your stomach does another rumble as you push back the anxious thought and look up to see a very excited Vernon. The smile comes naturally on your face and the only thing that matters is his happiness. It is always him who goes above and beyond for you so the least you can give him is this.

He hands the puppy plushie to you to keep until next year and says, “I can’t believe I’m saying it but your idea was a success. Looking forward to our next date Loser!”

Hours later, you still feel giddy and you hug the plushies tight thinking about the events of the evening as you drift off into sleep with a smile on your face.

Be My Valentine | Ch- 3  Turbulent Traditions

pairing: Vernon x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, slight crack, friends to lovers, non-idol!au, college au

summary: College was hard enough and the thought of spending Valentine’s Day alone and sad was not your style. And the best solution was to go on a platonic date with your best friend Vernon. It goes so well that it becomes a tradition until it gets messy… nothing ever goes wrong by pretend-dating your best friend right?

prev chapter | masterlist | next chapter

status: ongoing

a/n: This is almost entirely angst and I tried my best to write it. Let me know your feedback and thoughts.

warning: time jump (almost a year), swearing

pictures from Pinterest!

"Another one bites the dust huh."

You groan from your spot on the floor in the middle of the living room in the apartment you share with your friend, Olivia. Now that you were in your senior year and both of you had part-time jobs, you decided to move out of the crusty dorm room. It is barely enough for both of you but it works as it is close to your university and your respective internships.

Life has been filled with the highest of highs and lowest of lows in the last year. You managed to stay on top of almost all your courses, your internship was going great albeit strenuous, but it gave you the freedom to live where you want and achieve all your dreams. Well, all but one that is.

While it has only been highs in the academic, career and friendship aspects of your life; it has been nothing but an exponential downfall in your love life. From jocks to nerds, online dating to blind date setup from friends- you'd tried it all, but luck was not on your side. It was either a disappointment, heartbreak, or a combination of it all. You had sworn off men since freshman year but the platonic Valentine's Day date with Vernon had left you craving romantic validation and you started putting yourself out there.

You heavily regret that decision now as you stare at the ceiling trying your best to not puke as you remember the most recent... mess up.

"Can't believe he, of all people, had you wrapped around his finger ." You hear Olivia's voice come from the sofa again.

You get up from the floor slowly and glare at her. "I am not proud of it either Liv. But," You put your hands in your hair and tug at it in frustration, "he sweet-talked the shit out of me in that New Year's party. What a fucking idiot I was... UGH!"

She sighs and you feel her move from the couch, sit down next to you and wrap an arm around you.

"Hey... babe look at me." You turn to face her as she wears the pained and sympathetic expression that you knew all too well by now.

"I'm sorry this keeps happening to you but please know none of it was your fault. Okay, maybe choosing idiots is your fault but it's still not a big deal. Don't beat yourself up over douchebags okay?" She sounds soft and empathising and you just nod as you hug her. Both of you stay in the embrace for a moment or two before she pulls away to face you.

"What's Vernon's opinion on this?"

Another groan leaves you. "I haven't told him."

"You haven't told him about the breakup or about even the relationship," both of you pretend-gag, " Sorry I meant the 2-week situationship or whatever," she says with her hands vaguely flailing around to depict just how vague and annoying the whole ordeal had been.

"I haven't told him abt the whole thing." She raises her eyebrow as you give a guilty smile. "Y/n come on. That's not..."She shakes her head unable to finish the sentence, which both of you know would sound hurtful and true.

"I know... I know Liv. I messed up. But I just couldn't say it. It never goes well when I bring up my dating life. And if I tell him how it ended now, he'd flip out." She rolls her eyes and you brace yourself for the harsh truth that you know is coming- because that is what you and Liv do for each other, although you have been at the receiving end of harsh truths a lot more recently.

"Y/n are you-" she breaks off in the middle and sighs. "You know what, never mind. No matter how many times I say, you're gonna be in your own denial. So yeah do what you want to."

Without waiting for your response she gets up and goes to the kitchen. You sigh and follow her there. "Liv come on, you know that's not what this is. Will you please stop trying to convince me that Vernon likes me." She turns from the stove and looks pointedly at you.

"Yeah sure keep believing it."

You sigh knowing this is a losing battle so you leave her to be with a frustrated sigh. Sure things had been slightly different between Vernon and you since last year's platonic date and he keeps snapping at you every time you tried to talk to him about any of the guys you liked or were dating. And without fail, every single time, he would tell you that he warned you about not making bad choices. All that you got from this was he was being needy and also a good sensible friend. Olivia has convinced herself is proof that Vernon loves you. She's technically been on this agenda since sophomore year when she claims to have seen the "look of love" on Vernon's face during a party night.

Cute story, but not real. Hopefully not.

When overthinking starts clouding your mind, you do the only thing you can right now- avoid thinking by sleeping.

--------

"Hey, y/n wake up."

You open your eyes to see a very concerned Liv staring at you. "What happened?" you ask groggily.

"Vernon is here."

"WHAT?" She just nods in response and you immediately jump from the bed and straighten your hair before heading to the living room.

He is sitting on the couch in his signature black hoodie staring at his feet with his back to you. You consider running back into your room and jumping out the window for a minute. But you don't.

"Hey," You see him turn around and give a tight-lipped smile.

"Hey, y/n. Can we talk in your room?" he says as he gets up from the sofa and you nod as you look at Liv, who is smiling at you with sympathy and confusion.

Once you're both in your room, he settles down on your chair near the desk and you sit on the edge of the bed.

"You haven't changed anything in the room since you moved in and that was months ago." He notes assessing your room and turning to face you.

"I was busy."

"Dating douchebags." He says it silently as if hoping you'd not hear but unfortunately for both, you did hear it.

"What?" He looks up at your sharp tone and slightly winces when he sees your glare.

Sighing he says, "I heard." You roll your eyes. "And I suppose you are here to give another lecture on my 'horrendous decision-making skills'."

He looks at you for a minute, air-quotes and all, gets up and sits next to you on the bed as he takes your hand in his. "I'm sorry." You turn your head in surprise. "For what?"

"For being an asshole of a friend and driving you away. It didn't feel good hearing about you getting hurt from a third person and I know it's my fault."

You sigh and give him a small smile, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I am too. Wasn't entirely your fault. And... I agree."

"Huh?" You look up at his confused face turned toward where your head is on his shoulder.

"I agree that I do date douchebags." He laughs and you follow suit.

It was always easy with Vernon. Sure you both fight a lot, especially since your dating drama has been on a high. Both of you are loose-lipped and say things you don't mean but you always did go back to each other at the end. You don't think you could ever go without talking to Vernon for more than two or three days no matter how angry or scared you are. And neither can he.

"You've been busy." You tell him, now playing with the band he's wearing on his wrist. "Kind of, I guess. I just had a hard time balancing all the assignments, coding tournaments and of course, my internship."

You hum in acknowledgement. "You work too hard Vernon."

"Hmmm maybe. But if I don't. then who's gonna buy you the things you want?" You scoff at his words, "As if!"

He raises his left eyebrow with a smirk playing on his face.

"Alright, then I won't give you this." You eye him for a minute weighing the possibility of it being a mere prank but then curiosity gets the best of you.

"Give me what?" His smirk grows bigger and reaches into his pocket, takes out a small piece of paper and hands it to you.

No way.

"Vernon, did you just get me passes to the club I've been trying to get into for monthsssss!" You exclaim as your jaw dropped to the floor and his smile now lights up his whole face.

"I got us both in. I figured it would be a good gift plus our annual date is in two more weeks anyway." He explains shrugging.

"Oh My God! This is going to be amazing! I can almost forget that it will be Valentine's Day!" You scream as you hug him and get up to excitedly jump around the room.

"Why are you always a Valentine's Grinch," he says with a small laugh and you stick your tongue at him, too happy to bicker.

---------------

The two weeks since Vernon gifted the club tickets passed by in a blink. Everything went smoothly at uni, at work and at home. Once again you find yourself swearing off love during the month of love (the pattern is not good, is it!), but it feels less annoying with the knowledge of having tickets to the hottest club in town.

The same knowledge plagues you currently as you throw away the tenth outfit from your cupboard onto the bed as you deem it "too gaudy" for the night. Vernon told you it was okay to show up in whatever you feel good but what does he know about fashion. Plus, he looked annoyingly good in almost everything. For someone who is extremely quiet and a nerd who is slightly insane, he has a surprising number of fans. Most of them get harshly rejected when voicing out their interest to him, he really is insane.

"Still didn't find an outfit?" Liv pokes her head through your room door and takes in the state of your room's avalanche-level mess. You shake your head negatively with a pout which makes her sigh. She enters the room and brings in two hangers of clothes with her. Your eyes grow wider in shock as you see two of your favourite dresses from Liv's closet.

Before she can begin to explain, you run to meet her in the middle and grab the black satin dress she has in her left hand.

"Hey! I didn't even say you can take it!" She says with mock anger which only makes you sheepishly laugh.

"Well, what are friends for if not sharing Livieee..." You coo in what is hopefully a cute tone.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. But don't you dare ruin it." She warns and you nod your head. "Got it. Thank you, Liv."

"Buy me food later. Now go and enjoy your date." This earns a glare from you and she corrects herself with an eye roll. "Oh right, your 'platonic' Valentine's Day date at the hottest club with your 'best friend'." The air quotes are way too exaggerated and you push her out of the room before you question everything again.

Why didn't you question things more, you think as you try your best to not freeze in the short satin dress and jean jacket on your way to the club. Vernon had insisted on picking you up but you refused stating that the club was only a couple blocks away. Now you understand that being the passenger princess is always the right option, especially when dressed in the shortest possible clothes in the middle of a cold February.

You see Vernon standing in front of the club, a few steps away and wave at him. He doesn't wave back. He looks like he has frozen on the spot, even though he is covered from top to bottom in winter-appropriate clothes- a stunning jacket with a plain black t-shirt and his favourite pair of ripped jeans. You eventually reach him and he seems to finally come back to life.

"Did you get a frostbite or something right now?" You question as you punch him in the arm slightly. "Uh, no no. Just lost in thought. But you look like you are gonna freeze if we don't go in right now."

"Yes, please. I need warmth." You say as you both rush into the club.

The club is all you expected it to be in terms of ambience but it was definitely far too crowded for your liking and before you could start feeling claustrophobic you felt Vernon's voice near your ears.

"I got us VIP passes, let's go up." You gawk at him with wide eyes knowing that would've cost a lot and let him guide you to the far less crowded area upstairs with more space and fewer people. He leads you both to a table with a semi-covered booth where you both settle down next to each other. Even without your jacket on you feel a lot warmer and better now.

Both of you get started with a set of cocktails to get the night started. Time goes on as you switch between drinking, dancing on the floor and convincing Vernon to join you. Eventually, you give up on making Vernon dance and head off to the dance floor to enjoy some alone time dancing.

But the thought immediately gets squashed as you see a tall, dark-haired man on the dance floor near you. He's built like a literal Greek god but something about how his hair falls in soft curls on the side of his face and he smiles at you to make you feel like he's a good man. But then again you are inebriated so let's not be hasty about your questionable decision-making skills. The very same skills that lead you to move toward him and extend your hand for a dance. He looks between your hand, and your face and gives you a bedazzling smile before accepting your offer.

As you both start swaying to the beat, you feel his hands roam over your waist and you hold onto his shoulders. You feel light, not thinking much- just enjoying dancing with this hot piece of a man on a good day in a hot outfit. It feels good and so you let him hold you like this and keep dancing. You were slightly out of focus and don't notice that his hands are slowly moving to spots you would feel uncomfortable had you been a little more conscious. You were a little too caught up in the vibe that you break out of it when you feel a harsh pull and stumble into another pair of arms before you can fall flat on your ass.

"What the-" Your words die in your throat as you see one man throwing a solid punch at the one in front of you. You blink twice to get rid of the haze and realise that Vernon had punched the stranger while holding onto you with his other hand.

A very drunk, red-faced and unstable-looking Vernon.

Your senses take over before the much taller and definitely stronger man can punch Vernon and you step in. "Hey, I- I'm so sorry. I don't know why my friend did that. I am sorry. Just let him go, he must've drank a lot. Sorry."

The bigger guy retreats at your words with a glare toward Vernon and the people around go back to their business. You drag Vernon by his arm to the nearest door which led to a balcony.

"Y/n I-" You slap him before he says another word and it silences him as he put his head down.

Even though you are confused and pissed off, you still love Vernon- because he is your best friend, so you move to caress the cheek you slapped. When he eventually looks up you can see that he is still slightly drunk but not too far gone.

"What the hell was that Vernon?"

He blinks at you for a second. "I'm sorry."

"You should be. But why the fuck did you do that?" He sighs in frustration and runs his fingers through his hair as he steps back. You stand there searching his face for some kind of answer.

"I- It's so annoying how easily I lose control when it comes to you. Ugh!" He punches the wall in frustration as he says this and you are too scared to move. You have never seen Vernon lose his patience in all three-plus years of knowing him and this was him in pure rage.

Even though you are scared you still try to calm him down by turning him to face you. "Vernon, please don't hurt yourself. Tell me what happened." Your voice comes in a broken plea and it makes him look at you and your wet eyes.

"What happened?" He grunts again. "Are you kidding me Y/N! How can you be so reckless all the time? Do you not realise how messed up it could get!"

"What are you even saying?" You hear yourself begin to shout, completely sober and confused now.

He gives a dry chuckle. "That guy was feeling you up the whole time. Did you not even realise that?"

All you can do is blink at him. He stares at your confused expression and you see his rage turn into something sullen- you're not sure if it's worse or better. When he speaks again his voice is an octave deeper and strained.

"Why do you keep putting yourself in danger's way all the damn time? Don't trust every guy you see Y/N. It fucking pisses me off to see you go off with every loser on the planet. You have no clue how much it sucks to see you get hurt by every idiot and keep putting yourself down. You're such a smart, amazing and gorgeous woman and you let all those bozos make you question your worth. As much as I just hate the idea of you with someone else I at least wish it were with guys who know to treat you right. The way I-" he throws his head and takes a shaky breath," You know what, never mind."

"Oh my god Vernon. It was just a dance in a club. Of course, his hands were on me, and so was mine. Why are you so worked over this like you are in love with me or something."

You are ready to laugh at the ridiculous suggestion you made but the sound gets caught in your throat when you see him freeze and his eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights.

Oh?

Oh...

Shit.

Be My Valentine | Ch- 4  Uh Oh

pairing: Vernon x reader

genre: angst, heartbreak, friends to lovers, non-idol!au, college au

summary: College was hard enough and the thought of spending Valentine’s Day alone and sad was not your style. And the best solution was to go on a platonic date with your best friend Vernon. It goes so well that it becomes a tradition until it gets messy… nothing ever goes wrong by pretend-dating your best friend right?

prev chapter | masterlist | next chapter

status: ongoing

a/n: This is just angst and I might’ve hurt myself writing this. I’m sorry in advance, promise you a happy fluffy ending!

pictures from Pinterest!

Time moves on, another second and another minute, but you stay right where you are. Hearing your heartbeat in your throat and trying your best not to panic. You hear faint sounds from the club, ringing at the back of your head. You feel every part of your body and the awareness of it all is overwhelming.

"Excuse me."

The unfamiliar voice from the door of the balcony makes you and Vernon break apart from the intense reverie you were both lost in. Seeing this as your way out, you leave all logic and maturity behind as you run as fast as you can from there to your apartment.

It's all a blur. You push past the stranger, down to the entrance of the club and head out without bothering to take the jacket you left behind. You had your phone in your hand and that's all that mattered as you ran- rather speed-walk as fast as the fancy heels let you. You reach the apartment in record time and open the door with the keys, grateful that Liv was out and jumped straight onto your bed.

It was dark and cold in your room. Your legs were frozen and your feet were killing you now that you are barefoot. Yet you stay there, face planted on the pillow, breathing heavily. Nothing makes sense and yet everything does.

You know one thing, but it is the one thing you did not want to have known anytime soon. To you it made no sense, or so you keep telling yourself. You just wanted to run away from all the complications.

But life isn’t that simple because that is the exact moment the bell rings and you know who is on the other side. You could simply stay here and not open, hide away in the place that is familiar and safe. But you simply cannot stand the idea of him standing there, on the other side of the door, probably shivering and definitely hurt.

This is the one thing you didn’t want. Ever.

And to prevent more of Vernon getting hurt you could hide away but you change and open the door. Eyes meeting with the heavy, wet and dark eyes of his. His hair wet from the snow, his face tired and scared.

You move away to let him in and he walks to the living room silently. You bring a cup of water to him and he drinks it. You notice he has brought ur jacket with him. He notices you have changed into what you called “the depression enduring outfit”.

You both stay still as the clock ticks. The only sound filling the dimly lit house is of the shallow breaths you both take.

“When?”

That’s all. One word. The word that has been plaguing your mind. The word you know he can’t deny anymore. Not with how his eyes darken in resignation of any fight and denial he had prepared.

“Not too long.”

“Vernon.” You stare at him and be stares back. He gulps realising you aren’t going to backdown.

“Since sophomore year.”

Oh.

His answer hangs in the air for a minute. The tension is rife and so is the fear in both your hearts. Both hopping not to lose the other. Two hearts wanting the same thing through the opposite means.

“Was it the Valentine’s Day date?” You think you can actually feel your heart in your throat.

“Months before that.”

Oh. God.

You cannot physically or mentally handle this, you sigh and lean back into the couch where both of you are sitting at opposite ends.

“It’s not fair Vernon.” Your voice breaks and you hear him sigh.

“I know. I thought it would go away. I tried… I tried to make it go away.” He scoffs and you look up to see how defeated he looks.

“That’s why you’ve been a jerk since I started trying to date.” It comes out as a comment because you deem it to be the singular truth. You miss the way he whips his head to your direction and how his body straightens.

“That’s not it.” The words are practically spit out between clenching his teeth together. You catch the shift and face him, leaning forward.

“Then what? You’ve been jealous and you acted rude.” His eyes are flaring now.

“Y/n don’t say shit just cuz you can.”

You sigh and look at him, he is looking at you with a multitude of emotions on top of which lays the anger.

“What about our friendship? Was any of it real?”

Now he looks bewildered. Eyebrows shooting up, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Was any of those moments real, any of that care and support… I thought we had a solid friendship but you also turned out to just want me.” The words leave you before you can catch yourself. These are the thoughts you formulated in moments of emotional instability and the minute it leaves your mouth it tastes bitter.

Vernon looks a minute away from exploding in pure unadulterated rage. You want to it take it back. You watch as he struggles to regulate his breath. As he huffs and runs a finger through his hand. When he faces you again, his eyes are glistening and all that anger has been replaced by hurt.

“Don’t do this.”

“You’re not denying it.” You want to stop but the feeling of betrayal along with everything else- primarily fear, takes over you. The best option you know is pushing him away and you do just that.

“Are you kidding me. Y/n! Are you seriously going to look at me and say that? Of course our friendship meant- means, everything to me. That’s the only reason I kept my feelings away. I tried, real real hard, to not fall. I tried y/n… I did.” He’s never sounded or looked this vulnerable- tears streaming down his face and voice cracking with each word.

You sigh, feeling tears of your own roll down your eyes.

“I can’t do this Vernon. I can’t. I don’t..”

“What?” You see him as he prepares for another accusation thrown at him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Your voice is a mere whisper but you can see that he hears it. You feel the way his heart contorts.

“You won’t.” He moves to kneel down in front of you, taking your hands in is.

You scoff. “I will break you. I will break us.”

He shakes his head sideways, more tears streaming down.

“This won’t end well. I- I can’t lose you… you’re one of the only constants I’ve had after years of tumultuous relationships and everything else.”

“Y/n, I know it’s scary but we can make it work. I know it is triggering a lot for you… but it’s us. We can figure it out… together.” It’s a plea rather than a consolation.

“I don’t want this Vernon. I don’t want change. I can’t handle it. I don’t like you. And I will never love you”

His hands freeze above yours. He slowly moves away, back hitting the coffee table, he stares at you.

“You don’t have to love me. We can just give it a try. We can work it out.”

You shake your head. “Vernon. I don’t know how many times to tell you. I don’t love you. And I won’t.”

You see it. The exact moment your fear comes alive in front of your own eyes. The way the tears stop rolling down his face eyes and the realisation sinks in. He gets up, face stoic, heaves a sigh and starts to walk toward the door and you follow.

“I will break your heart into pieces.” You say silently, hoping it still hasn’t come true.

His hand freezes on the door handle. He turns around and scoffs. “You just did.”

And he’s gone. Taking all your happiness with him. Gone, like everyone else. Gone, because that’s what’s best for him.

***********

A day. A week. Two weeks. They have all passed by, unbeknownst to you.

You are aware of time as a regular concept and if it’s functioning around you. You still wake up, go to classes, do your chores, your internship tasks and you function according to the generic concept of time in its physical existence. But your heart stopped the moment the door clicked behind him.

It might’ve stopped seconds before when he acknowledged that you’d indeed done the one thing you swore not to.

Your heart stopped, tears drained and emotions stuck. But you functioned as you were expected to. Moved on, as you were expected to. This was habit, you did this when your parents messed up or when your friends found friends of their own. You did this when douchebags broke your heart. And you do this now, knowing you might’ve broken the best thing you ever had.

You’d be stupid to have not realised sooner. Rather, you were stupid to live in denial. You saw it coming. With every lingering touch, an extra soft smile and the longing stares when he thought you didn’t notice. You did them all too. You felt it all too. You had lied through your teeth to him. You had been lying to yourself for years. All to live for the hope that you would help him. The wishful thinking of preventing him the pain you’d always leave in your wake.

You’d done a lot of thinking since the moment the door closed. You thought of all the things you hadn’t wanted to make yourself think of before. You thought of running to him. You thought of holding him close. You thought of him holding you. You thought of how it would feel to finally have him to you. You also thought you don’t deserve him. You thought about everything you could do to hurt him and everything you did. You thought about how you chose douchebags till now knowing you don’t deserve the good ones. And Vernon was the best of all.

You stopped thinking eventually. Not before sending a couple dozen apologies to him, all of which have been left unread. You stopped thinking when you could no longer physically could.

Now you just do everything you’ve managed to make a habit out of.

Unfortunately for you, Vernon was one of those habits. A very addicting and supportive one at that. You kept reaching to text him, to see him between classes. To apologise. To console him.

You’d seen him once in the two weeks, owing to the lack of classes together this semester. He looked his usual self but you caught the lack of joy, or any emotion, on his face. You watched him walk away, again, knowing it’s you who caused it. Praying it was right for him.

Liv was there for you, she held you through the harshest nights and kept you grounded. You were glad there was still one person you could hold on to. A person you could reach out to when the going gets tough. A person to get you back up.

So you keep going, keep doing and keep hurting.

With the finals closely approaching, you did what you do best- study to avoid life. You studied day in and day night. April blended into May and you flourished through every assignment and test.

You had managed to convert your internship into a full-time job thus achieving your biggest dreams. You watched as Liv got to achieve her goals. You scrolled and scrolled until you found that Vernon had also managed to secure his dream job, and most probably the title of gold medalist of the university.

You were excited, you were grateful but it still felt empty. It felt empty not having the person who motivated you every step of the way to share your achievements with. All of your accomplishments were devoid of colour without having his achievements to celebrate along with. You’d been running for all of this for days, months and years. Every single thing you did had led here. Yet, waking up to your literal dreams felt gut-wrenching.

And as you sit at your desk eyeing the Graduation ceremony invite, the thoughts you suppressed started crawling back. The moment you had been eagerly talking about and discussing for years. The day you had planned to celebrate with him, your best friend and… everything.

The invite had awoken every thought you had made dormant through denial. You’d done your best to block him out for weeks only for it all to come crashing on you when you realise that everything around you and on you reminded you of Vernon. He was so intertwined into every part of you that the very thought of doing this without him next to you made you want to puke.

The realisations, the impending future and the big changes- all rumbling in your mind. Every thought, mistake, yearning, wishing, and wondering bouncing off the other.

Until they all collided into one singular thought- a need, you need to see him.

You need to go to Vernon. To beg for forgiveness, to hope he can forgive himself.

Maybe you can finally piece the broken pieces of both your hearts into one masterpiece.

I am so very overwhelmed with how much y’all have been liking my fics and I want to cry in happiness. Im working on the be my valentine last chapter and another fic that might continue the lee know fic 😭😭😭

Meanwhile if y’all have any requests or anything to say let me know HERE

Be My Valentine | Ch- 5  My Forever Valentine

pairing: Vernon x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, slight crack, friends to lovers, non-idol!au, college au

summary: College was hard enough and the thought of spending Valentine’s Day alone and sad was not your style. And the best solution was to go on a platonic date with your best friend Vernon. It goes so well that it becomes a tradition until it gets messy… nothing ever goes wrong by pretend-dating your best friend right?

prev chapter | masterlist 

status: complete

a/n: Here it is, the happy ending I have been waiting to write! Let me know your feedback and thoughts.

warning: swearing

I need to go to Vernon.

You have been telling yourself this for the last eight days. Eight days since you opened the mail. Eight days since any form of denial stopped working and your entire being has been hurting from the hurt you caused yourself. And eight more days till the wretched graduation.

When the thought occurred, you expected your body to act on its own and run to Vernon's apartment but instead, it chose to freeze. You sat there on your desk, staring at the invite, for lord knows how long. First came the realisation- you were a fool in love and an idiot in denial, then came the anger- how could you do that to Vernon, and finally the hurt- the 'what ifs'.

What if Vernon has moved on? What if he realised he doesn't really love you? What if he has found someone else and is finally happy? What if you hurt him so bad that he gave up on finding love and happiness? What if you have lost Vernon forever?

The moment these thoughts seeped into your brain they seemed to slowly traverse your entire being. You felt the pain in every fibre of your being. In every nerve ending, every memory, every muscle and every breath you couldn't fully let go. You remember the last time it was this hard to breathe, the last time you were so entirely alone that the whole wide world felt like it was closing in on you. The last time when everyone around you left you to pick up your own pieces.

It had been years since then. You had Liv and Vernon since the last time. Thank god you still have Liv but there are only certain things even she could help with. And not to mention that she has finally found the little ounce of excitement in her life since her job began and you have no heart to dampen that with your own wounds... again. She still found ways to help- by sharing her happiness with you. By being your support system yet again, even when she has a tough time herself.

You feel guilty, along with every other negative emotion flowing through you. Unfortunately for your compartmentalising brain, you have a few weeks of break before you start your full-time job. What wonderful luck this life has to offer! But life doesn't stop, rather you don't like to stop, and because you seem to be unable to fix the one thing you need to, you end up fixing everything else.

You spend your days fixing. cleaning and rearranging the entire apartment. The minute the first heavy thought occurs, you put on your cleaning gloves, pick up your toolbox and set to work. In the last four days, you have dismantled and rearranged multiple furniture pieces across the apartment. Liv understood it is your coping mechanism and entertains the change the apartment goes through every time she is back home. She is grateful you leave her room alone and you are glad she doesn't ever question your antics.

The heaviness in your chest now returns and you immediately shake your head and focus back on the task hand- wearing your old overalls and start painting the walls of your room. Yep, you had officially gone there.

Just as you had managed to get done with the first coating, your stomach grumbles reminding you that you haven't eaten in a long while. As you remove the rubber gloves and head toward the kitchen the doorbell rings. Groaning loudly you go to open the door, ready to snap at the person on the end, but the person on the other side of the door leaves you frozen.

You blink once, twice and thrice. You open your mouth but no sound comes. Because there he is, Vernon, standing in his grey hoodie and jeans, the headphones around his neck as usual, hair messy, eyes heavy and a small tight-lipped smile on his face.

"Hi."

Once again, your mouth opens, and no sound comes out. His voice sends your brain straight to overdrive and you stay there staring at him. You see him raise his eyebrows and sigh. Eventually, he reaches out, your heart is beating erratically and shakes you by the shoulders slightly.

"Hey loser are you alright?"

"Uh- I- Huh?" He just laughs at your exemplary articulation and lets himself in. You are confused but gain your senses enough to close the door behind him and follow him into your house.

He pauses in the living room, takes in all the changes and turns back to look at you with a dumbfounded look- eyebrows shot up, a ridiculous smile playing on his face- telling you that he has confirmed you're a weird human.

"Did you do all this?" He asks his hands pointing to the room. You nod. He nods as he processes the information.

"Are you hungry?" This question throws you off and you look at him to see if he is joking. Then you notice he has lifted his left hand which is holding a bag of takeout. You want to refuse but your stomach rumbles again, giving you out. He smiles and walks to the kitchen. You watch as he opens multiple cabinets, trying to take cutlery, struggling because everything has been altered in the kitchen. Eventually, he figures it out and you follow him to the couch. He puts the food and cutlery down and sits on the couch, and you follow suit.

This is giving you many flashbacks, you and him on the couch, the same place you had watched countless movies together, gossiped together, cuddled together, and eventually the place you broke his heart. He seems to have either forgotten or chosen to ignore the memories that linger in the air between the two of you like the smell of a wet towel trapped in a closed space. He gives you a plate and you notice the noodles and dumplings from your favourite Thai place. His plate also has the same food. You give him a thankful smile, hoping the pain doesn't seep out of you, and he gives you a cheerful and casual smile as he digs in. You follow suit.

The silence is palpable but only you seem to feel it as Vernon looks as relaxed as he's ever been. He closes his eyes and enjoys the food and a soft hum of approval leaves his mouth. You realise you haven't swallowed the food in your mouth and gulp it down with great difficulty- the way it has been for weeks now.

"Congrats on your job." His words make you choke on your food.

"Uh- I- Thanks." He nods, the smile on his lips.

"Are you not going to congratulate me?" His eyes are widened in childlike wonder and your stomach flips. "Wh-What?"

"Do you not know?" You shake your head in negative, too guilty to speak. His smile falters and he scoffs as he takes another bite of the dumpling. He raises his eyebrow and eyes you to see if you are joking and when he realises not, he slumps back on the couch running a hand through his hair.

Giving a dry laugh he looks back at you again. “I got into the research program.”

“Oh. Oh? Oh my God! Oh wow! Oh my God Vernon, that’s amazing!”

Just as your mind catches up with the news, the joy takes over your body and in a very practised way you move across the couch in one stride and hug him. You’re hugging him, squealing in joy, too happy to realise that he’s frozen and stuck between you and the couch. Once the excitement in your body dies down, you realise the position you’re in and embarrassment crawls up your face as you slowly get up and make your way back to the other end of the couch. Your face, hands, legs and everywhere is burning up and you stuff your face with a dumping in hopes of hiding it.

“Thanks.” He says and you look up to see a shy smile playing on his face. His smile really could light up this whole city and it certainly lightens your heart.

You both remain silent. It’s much less palpable now. A lot more comfortable.

Eventually, you decide it’s high time you sort this out. It is more painful realising he’s right here and yet he’s so far away. To realise all you could have and that you are holding it back for yourself and him.

“We should talk…”

He looks up with raised eyebrows. Not saying a word or indicating any sort of acknowledgment. You still continue with your point.

“We should talk about us.”

“What us?” You whip your head so fast at his words that you are certain you’ve cracked a bone. He looks stoic, with not a hint of… any emotion at all.

“Us… you and me.” You sound dumb.

“You are you and I’m me. That’s all.” He says in a straight tone and you do your best to observe a pinch of any emotion he might’ve been subtly displaying but you find none.

“Vernon.” You sigh and put your head in your hands on your lap.

“What do you want me to say y/n?” He sounds resigned, again.

Your eyes are wet and you blink back the tears. You will not break down without saying what you need to.

Slowly lifting your head from your hands you look up at him.

“Vernon, I’m sorry. And- No don’t say anything for now.” You stop him before he can interrupt. “I fucked up. Big time. I agree. I was just... I was scared. I was scared of hurting you and losing you. I was scared a lot. I still am." You pause to gauge his reaction and he is looking intently at you, doing a fantastic job keeping his emotions at bay. The lack of protest feels like permission to keep going, so you do.

"I was scared because I thought I would lose you entirely if this goes wrong. I thought by not acknowledging my feelings and denying yours, I could make us stay together for a lot longer. Romantic relationships haven't exactly worked that well in my life or even around me. I grew up knowing only instability. When I met Liv and you, I didn't expect you both to become so close to me, to become my found family, in a sense. With Liv, it was easier since there were no confusing big feelings involved. With you... I wanted to keep it easy and safe. Since the day I realised there might be even the slightest of feelings, I did my absolute best to push it down so that I don't lose you. I did everything I could to convince myself that I can't, I shouldn't have feelings for you. I pushed it down so much that my response the other day became an instinctual fight or flight response."

You breathe heavily after saying all that in one flow. You needed to say more but also take a pause because it feels like too much. Your eyes are wet and heavy again, and your knuckles hurt from how hard you were pressing your nails into your palm the whole time. Hanging your head low and closing your eyes, you just take a few breaths and try to unclench your fists.

Right as you are about to give up on unclenching them you feel a weight on your fists. You open your eyes to see Vernon kneeling in front of you and opening your fists and looking at the marks your nails have left on your palms. You continue looking at your fists, unable to meet his eye, as he starts rubbing soothing circles on your palm. He then lifts your palms and kisses lightly on the scars. This is when you break.

The tears are streaming involuntarily as you stare at him, him still trying to soothe your fists with small teardrops trailing down his own cheek. You are on the couch crying, him on his knees holding your hands and teary-eyed. Funny how life can come full circle.

He straightens up and finally meets your eye, glistening with tears and a million emotions you can't bare to identify as you wipe away your own tears.

"When?" Might sound foolish but you know exactly what he is referring to- the first time you began to live in denial.

"The first Valentine's date."

Vernon stares at you for a few seconds, as if to test if you are joking, and breaks into a small smirk.

"So it did work." Now you break into a smile, you are most certain you are blushing too.

"Yeah, very well in fact." This time both of you let out soft and shy giggles. He clears his throat.

"Y/N, I know this is scary. But scary might not be bad. We are scared to lose someone only if they mean that much. I mean I was shit scared, and then the fear turned to anger, jealousy and every ugly emotion ever. But at the end of the day, I was willing to fight. I still am. And I will as long as we have something to fight for. I am not promising you a forever of sunshine and rainbows because we both are not stupid. But I promise to talk things with you, as long as you do too. And to fight for us, for you, for this." He says pointing to the air between us.

You smile and nod, wiping your face with a renewed vigour.

"I really should've just let you talk that day huh?" It's a rhetorical question but Vernon shrugs in agreement earning himself a pout from you.

"Jokes aside, I need you to know that what I said that day was not true... I love you." His eyes light up, his mouth slightly opens in surprise and your heart swells at his reaction. You lean a bit forward, suddenly courageous, and hold his face in your palms.

"I love you Vernon, a lot. A lot more than I can comprehend now that I spent a good two years suppressing it. Turns out I did a very bad job at that." He nods with a big smile lighting up his face. Chucking, you continue. " I loved you from the start as a friend and then began loving you more. And God, even after all this effort and hurt to try and stop that- I didn't succeed. Now I am glad I didn't. I just... I am still shit scared, but I want to be scared while I'm with you. Like you said, I'd rather be scared of losing you than not have you at all."

He's sobbing and smiling into your hands and you are sobbing into his hands that have now moved to hold your face. Eventually, he pulls you into a hug and you reciprocate with such force that both of you end up crashing on the floor- side by side, still in each other's embrace.

He brings his face towards you, you close your eyes and the world comes to a standstill as your lips meet. Your heart seems to untangle itself and even though you are physically out of breath, you feel free to breathe now. He pulls back to see your face, his million-watt smile on full display, as you return it with an equally bright one.

"I love you so much y/n." The words and the emotions in his eyes make you go weak in the knees. You wouldn't mind feeling that giddiness every time. You giggle into his arms in glee.

"Vernon, you asked me to be your platonic Valentine then-" He visibly cringes at the mention of platonic, "- and now, I want you to be my Valentine forever."

"Oh wow. Cliche much. Maybe we can go to the Graduation together first and then talk about Valentines- which is more than ten months away." He scrunches his nose in mock distaste as you playfully hit him and snuggle in closer to his side.

"But yes, you are stuck with me- Valentine and all." He means it.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." And you meant it.