Was Looking For Aesthetic Church Organ Pics And Found This. Absolute Gem. - Tumblr Posts

I just want a pipe organ to live inside ok

people were mentioning that pipeorgankind is sort of FULL VOLUME ALL THE TIME but like

lets take a look at what a pipe organ is and for the sake of argument and to nail the point home lets do it in all caps

A PIPE ORGAN IS A FUCKING INSTRUMENT LITERALLY THE SIZE OF A GOD DAMNED BUILDING

AN INSTRUMENT BUILT TO MAKE A SOUND THAT WHOLLY ENVELOPES YOU AND TRICKS YOU INTO THINKING YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY GOD. 

DID YOU KNOW THEY DIDNT BUILD CATHEDRALS TO HOUSE GOD, NO THEY BUILT THEM TO FUCKING HOUSE FUCKING PIPE ORGANS.

PIPE ORGANS HAVE ONE VOLUME SETTING DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS IT IS ON

“THATS CUTE LOOK AT ALL THOSE FUCKIN PIPES” YOU MIGHT BE THINKING. “THATS PRETTY BIG” YOU MIGHT BE THINKING. WRONG. YOU’RE THINKING LIKE AN IDIOT. ITS FUCKING HUGE. A PIPE ORGAN IS LIKE A FUCKIN ICEBERG YOU SEE LIKE 10% OF THAT SHIT.

WANT PROOF? PIPE ORGANS DONT NEED PROOF. PIPE ORGANS DONT GIVE A FUCK.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH YOU TOO BAD SO SAD PIPE ORGAN DOESNT CARE PIPE ORGAN DOES WHAT IT FUCKIN WANTS

AND IT WANTS TO BE AS LOUD AS HUMANLY FUCKING IMAGINABLE ALL THE GOD DAMNED TIME.

DID YOU KNOW IN THE BIBLE IT SAYS “THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN*” FOR YEARS SCHOLARS AND OTHER NERDS TRIED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT ASTERISK WAS FOR BUT IM HERE TO TELL YOU I FOUND THE LONG LOST PAGE OF THE BIBLE AND IT SIMPLY STATES

*UNLESS YOU’RE A GOD-DAMNED PIPE ORGAN I DONT WANT ANY TROUBLE MAN BE COOL

SO IF MY ORGAN MUSIC IS A LITTLE “LOUD” NOW YOU KNOW WHY

ITS GOT MY FAMILY MAN

SEND HELP SOMEBODY PL-

DISREGARD THAT, MORTALS

CONTINUE TO LISTEN TO PIPE ORGAN MUSIC

OR I WILL FIND YOU