We See Each Other Twice A Year Anyway And All I Need From Her Is The Prescription For Happy Pills. Anyway The Happypillen - Tumblr Posts

art i'll be yapping in the tags its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear “oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit) but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead. perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft