What AM I Looking For? - Tumblr Posts
This wasn’t my question, but it’s the answer that got to me. I knew there was a reason for the blogs I follow, my seemingly insane fangirling, and just the general arse-over-tea-kettle spin my life has taken in the last month or so. (Can’t find the tea kettle, don’t think I even have one, but I sure land on my arse with regularity!)
Excavating my authentic self, like a dog who loves nothing more than to dig up the yard in search of more places & things to dig. Makes for a bizarre sort of archeology.
Miss things! I sometimes catch myself daydreaming of Mr Tom. I find that it is getting tiresome and I feel annoyed with myself. I'm married with two kids so I really ought not to be so enamoured with a totally unattainable man I can't have at all. It's all so frustrating! I wish I could flip a switch and turn it off but no. Thanks to tumblr my everyday existence is painful. Haaaalp? And no I'm not leaving this place and yes I do sort of enjoy the frustration. x
Hmm… My advice might be counterintuitive but I would say, pay attention to what the Tom-love is doing for you that you aren’t getting in your real daily life. For example, when I first started fangirling I had this huge need to write and express myself artistically, and I also had a need for poetry and romance and sweet sweet lovin that I wasn’t getting enough of at the time. Fangirling helped me recognize my desire and then translate that into action, and a lot of my life operates better now because my desire went from my subconscious to my conscious mind.
What does daydreaming do for you? What do you need that you don’t have? When you are able to start effecting change in your own life to get what you want, the fangirling abates a little (just a little, though.. Tom in all his incarnations is a heady cocktail) and sort of subsides into its proper place. If you’re relatively new to Hiddlestoning, you might possibly have a bit of a hill ahead of you on the road. Pedal fast and don’t deny that you have yearning locked away there somewhere. I would be willing to bet that your daydreaming is nudging you toward something you need to pursue or consider in your own life.
In other words: don’t try to subdue it or get rid of it. Instead, listen to what it’s telling you. If there is a path of self-discovery ahead of you, you are not alone — there’s a huge cohort of lovely women who come awake and alive through fangirling, and are working to become their best selves, and they are fun and intelligent and amazing and full of wisdom, and they’re all right here.
xx