What Are Happy Endings? We Don't Know Her - Tumblr Posts

Answers

Warnings: Swearing, death, mentions of kidnapping, torture, stalking, obsessions, reincarnation, ANGST ANGST ANSGT.

Pairing: StrayKids!idolOT8 X Ghost!reader

Premise: Being alone and ignored was one thing, you were used to that by now. But having each member of an idol group barrelling into your safe little sanctuary was not something you could have imagined. Now being torn away from your tiny cozy room all you wanted to do was get back to it. Even it meant losing home.

Authors notes: 9.2K words. I'm going to start including a word count in each drabble, as I have realized some of these reach over 5k. It'll let people know if they're opening up a mini novel or a short piece.

masterlist

~🌒

The comfort of the dark room, the silence you are so accustomed to now. No longer cold and dim, but a neutral sanctuary. 

Or so you thought….

The doors unwarningly open, and a scream echoes in your enclosed space. Your eyes fly open, and are hit with a harsh stream of light. Making your brain stumble at the impact. 

Squinting you fumble out of the space, cumbersomely forcing yourself to your feet. Your ears finally begin to work again as you can hear faint muffled speech smacking you in the head.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t know anyone would be hiding in there!” 

“I was napping, not hiding.” You correct, rubbing your eyes, hoping the spinning would stop soon. Your eyes slowly begin to focus. When was the last time the light was on?

“Why would you nap in a closet?” 

“It’s comfier than you’d thin-” Wait. Did you hear that right? The voice chuckles. Your eyes swim back to vision as you face your intruder. 

“You’re Hyunjin. From StrayKids!” Really? In this whole situation that’s all you got? You mentally slap yourself. You had bigger things to worry about.

“Yeah! Are you a fan?” He replies brightly.

“Uh…” You take in his form from his iconic shoes to his blonde hair. “Was…?” 

Looking at his face, more important his eyes. Yep, he’s definitely looking at you. 

“Was? Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” His smile falters, but he recovers quickly. 

“What are you doing here?” His outfit and makeup tells you he is filming something. But if he’s here then the others must be and a whole production team, which to you sounds like a right nightmare. Well it would be if you could have one.

“We’re filming for our new music video. What are you doing here?”

“Napping.” 

“You came all this way, to this run down old building… to nap?” He looks at you skeptically, but you’re too lost in examining the room. An old classroom, the posters still on the wall hold some faint colour to them. Your favourite drawing hanging up was blue not black. Huh, who would have thought. 

“Uh huh”

If anyone had asked you this morning if you would be standing here having a conversation with Hyunjin of Straykids, you would have laughed at them. Wait… you clearly missed something important. 

Before you could open your mouth to assure yourself, the door of the classroom bursts open and three more members of skz file in.

“Hyunjin, we've been looking everywhere for you!” Changbin yells at him.

“We thought we heard a faint scream, we assumed it was you.” Jisung laughs.

“Oh so funny” He rolls his eyes.

“Who’s this?” Seungmin asks, eyes staring directly at you. Oh great, another one.

“I’m not sure I just met her. She was napping in the closet.” Hyunjin explains, gesturing at you. 

“Well, Hi I’m Ji-” Jisung starts as the three members walk over to you.

“I know who you are.” You are struggling to keep your face blank from your rising panic.

“Apparently she used to be a fan” Hyunjin chuckles awkwardly. The atmosphere in the room becomes a shade dimmer. 

“Can we ask what your name is?” Seungmin tries to divert the tension. 

You shake your head. “You guys should go now. You have filming to do right?”

They all stare at you, something hanging in the air that they can tell something isn’t quite right. 

The silence is broken by Changbins cough, “She’s right, we need to head back.” He nudges the others to remove their cemented feet. All giving you a quick goodbye before leaving the room, all but Hyunjin.

“Will you be alright?” 

“I’m fine.” You give him a faint smile before he’s nodding and heading out the door. You wait until you’re sure you can no longer hear their footsteps, before completely freaking out.

“HOLY SHIT!” You yell as you run around the tables. “How did they see me? How can they hear me?! HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND THEM?” 

You collapse onto the dirty laminate floor. You close your eyes, now letting the black unknown take you. You called it napping, really you weren’t sure what it was.

“What the hell is going on?” 

No one answers you, no one ever answers you. No one knows you're here. It’s been over a year since the incident and you woke up in this building. Well this room to be exact, you’ve never been able to leave and lord knows you've tried. Eventually you gave up and accepted your confines as home, you don’t know how you ended up here. The markings on the walls indicated Korean, that much you could tell based on all the k-dramas you used to watch, but you had never been to Korea, so how did you end up in another country? 

Too many questions, all of which you’d had given up finding answers to. But now meeting these 4 members, a whole new wave of questions came flooding in. 

And once again you were left alone. With no answers. 

~🌒🌓

You take your time opening your eyes, unsure of how much time you had been ‘napping’ but you let yourself regain at its own pace. Eventually your eyes begin to open, ready for the grimy ceiling tiles and rusty, broken looking light fixture. However, you are jolted awake when you realize that's not the ceiling above you. This ceiling for 1 is clean, 2 white and 3 all the bulbs are working. You jolt yourself up right, hastily looking around the room. There’s no way you could be anywhere but that old room, so how are you seeing someone's living room, you must be imagining it. 

You hear shoes scuffling towards a hallway to what looks to be a front door you shoot to your feet, backing up to the opposite end of the room. There’s no way anyone could see you, but these turn of events were enough to put you on edge. 

Your thoughts ricoshay around you, deafening you to the figures entering through the door. One of them stops mid sentence as he comes face to face with you as he enters the living room.

“Who are you?” Chan barks.

Can he see you too? You struggle to answer. Confusion evident on your face. 

“How did you get in here?” He stands his ground, his voice rising in what would be a dominant, intimidating way, but you’re too concerned that once again you have been seen to feel threatened. 

The other 3 figures rush in behind him, upon noticing you their expressions change from fear to worry.

“You’re the girl from the mv shoot we met.” Jisung voices out. 

“This-” You point around the room. “Is your dorm?”

“I’ll ask again. How did you get in here?” Chan asks again. Voice less threatening.

You take a step back, going over everything that happened that day to now. This can’t be real. Scanning each member quickly, you notice something. You point at Changbins now blonde hair and Hyunjins now dark hair. 

“How long ago was that? The video shoot?” Your voice comes out shaky, you’re trying to swallow back the rising emotions bubbling in you. 

“A couple weeks ago?” Changbin offers. 

That’s it, a couple weeks? How have you been out that long? I mean it’s not like you could tell time with a broken clock, but weeks. You start pacing back and forth muttering to yourself. “How is this happening? This can’t happen. It’s impossible- but then again, I thought I was impossible. So maybe not impossible? But that doesn’t make any sense.”

You don’t hear the front door opening and the other four members enter until you hear Seungmin exclaim.

“Hey, why is the shoot girl here?”

You halt in your steps, turning to them.

“Shoot girl?” Felix asks.

“The girl we said we ran into at the mv shooting.” Seungmin shrugs. 

“OK, so you guys felt the need to invite her over?” Minho huffs next to him.

“No offense, but that doesn’t sound like the smartest thing to do Hyungs” I.N. gestures behind them. 

“We didn’t invite her, she was here when we came in.“ Hyunjin defends dramatically. 

You can feel your voice clawing it’s way out, but before you can think the panic has taken over.

“Hold on. WAIT. You can see me?”

“Is that a joke?” Chan asks. Your cold hands rub against the skin on your face. This is really a nightmare. 

“You can all see me. You can all hear me. You can all understand me.” You state, the shock finally breaking your blank shell. You see them all nod, distrusting eyes watch you as your feet restart their pacing. 

“This can’t be happening.” This time you're not mumbling. “ I can’t be here. How is this happening? Oh god- I need to get back to my room.”

“You mean that old classroom? That’s your room?” Jisung can’t help but ask, but he’s stopped short of completely asking you things when Minho nudges him in the ribs with his elbow. 

The pacing stops as you stare at them. “You don’t understand. I haven't been able to leave that room in over a year.”

“What? Has someone been keeping you there?” Jisungs exclaims, followed by another nudge to his ribs.

You can’t help but laugh dryly, if only it was that easy. “I stopped asking those questions a long time ago. Seriously though, none of you should be able to see me.”

“Why because you have your invisibility cloak on?” Minho sneers at you.

You stare blankly at him. Walk over to the table, pulling your hand back you aim to push all the items off the table. Your hand collides with nothing, phasing through the objects. You smirk at his shocked face, arms crossing over your chest in triumph. 

“No, because I’m a ghost.” Now the feelings of being annoyed started to build. “And like I said, I’ve been stuck in that room for a very long time with no idea how to leave. And no one has been able to see me until you showed up. And then I wake up here, in your space weeks later. AND to top it all off, I don’t speak Korean so how the hell are we having this conversation?”

~🌒🌓🌔

“So you’re dead?”

“If he asks me that one more time I’m going poltergeist on this place” You threaten, turning to the eldest two. 

“What happened to you?” IN calls your attention. The room becomes dead still. The continuous shuffling and side comments coming to an abrupt stop. Unclear certainty fields the room, from them upon realizing they may have crossed a line in their maknae asking so bluntly. And from you… well for very different reasons. 

“Wrong place, wrong time?” You will your voice to come out steady and nonchalantly. However, your body betrays you. Leg bouncing in your seat on the couch, hands showing a slow tremor.   “Look, I’m not really sure. I can’t remember. All I know is one minute I was walking along this backroad to my place from being with friends. I had my headphones in, I was listening to a random playlist when………..-wait-”

A subtle drifting melody passes by your ears. Like it was traveling on a motionless breeze. The sound ebbing in and out of your being. 

“I think one of your songs was playing” Wide eyes jump to each member as the beat lingers. “and then I woke up in that room. That’s it. Nothing in between” 

“Maybe someone was meant to find you in that room? Like we were? It’s easy enough to come and go in that building.” Hyunjin hums, trying to put the broken pieces of a puzzle together.

“That’s the weird thing, others have filmed there before and no ones ever seen me.” You shake your head at him. “Actually no ones ever been able to come into the room before. I can see the reflection through the hallway windows, there’s always been a padlock and chain on it. How did you get in?” 

“There wasn’t anything like that, the door was partially open when I Found it.” 

Too many coincidences… that's what this is….if you could feel your skin, you’d say it was beginning to itch. 

“Strange. Why did you go in that room? Were you randomly searching all the rooms?” Minho’s careful eyes watch the younger one carefully. 

Hyunjin shakes his head. “No, that was the only room I went into. I just felt like there was something… that I had to see…”

“Wait. So the last thing you heard was one of our songs before nothing and you just happened upon a room that was mysteriously calling you?” Jisung questions wide-eyed. His large eyes bore into you.

“That sounds like we were meant to find you, somehow this was meant to be.” Chan nods to himself. His voice is warm and soothing, but there’s something chilled about his sentence. 

Your vision ripples momentarily, whatever else they were saying you could no longer hear. Only a deep raspy faltering voice.

‘It was love at first sight. We are meant to be.’

And then they were back. All 8 pairs of eyes staring at you, clearly someone had asked you a question.

“Sorry, what was that?” 

“Are you ok?” Chan's thoughtful gaze makes you feel slightly uncomfortable. 

“Uh yea yea fine. Everything is just a lot.” You try to give them a reassuring smile. They must have seen the look of loss in your eyes, hoping to move on from the subject. 

“I know y/n, but we promise we’ll figure it out together.” Followed by several agreeances, and encouraging smiles.  

~🌒🌓🌔🌕

“I already regret agreeing to help you.” Seungmin’s voice mumbles tiredly from the couch.

You can’t stop the evil giggle from bubbling out of your mouth. Your day spent getting used to your new surroundings, figuring out which door went where, whose room was who’s, who was the easiest to poke fun at when you were bored.

“You? At least you can leave to your own dorm rooms. She’s here all the time.” Changbin huffs coming out of his room.

“Guys be nice to noona! You’re acting like she’s a disobedient pet or something.” Jisung scolds from the dining table. 

“She’s like an angry chihuahua that pees on everything just because she knows it’ll annoy us.” Seungmin retorts annoyedly, eyes still fixed on the tv. 

“Exactly!” Changbin agrees a little too enthusiastically for your liking. Plopping down next to Seungmin.

“Did you just call me a chihuahua?” You shoot them a look of disgust. “Ew.”

“If you stopped acting like one we’d stop calling you one behind your back.” Minho eventually joins the conversation from the other end of the dining table to Jisung. His face was blank as always.

“Linoring, not you too!” Jisung whines dramatically, falling back in his chair, face stricken with dismay and disappointment to the dancer.

“Sorry jagi” Minho mumbles looking away from the huffy chipmunk, slight pink dusting his cheeks as he accidentally makes eye contact with you. Purposefully, at least on your end, catching the smirk on your face as you wiggle your eyebrows at him knowingly. 

“Thank you sungie! Besides, It’s not my fault you guys are boring.” You groan in frustration. “When did Lixie and Innie say they would be over?”

“IN said he was finishing his game while waiting for lix to finish his baking and then they’d be over.” Seungmin's voice makes you feel even more disheartened. 

“If I could die again it’d be from boredom. I want Lixie.” You cry out.

You hear Changbin mumble something under his breath about you being dramatic, in retaliation you whip around to give him another dramatic show, but are hit with the room beginning to spin. As if the world is tilted on its axis you stumble slightly, eyes flying shut and a ringing in your eyes. Regaining your balance a pained groan escapes you.

—-

“Noona? Noona!” Felix’s deep voice bounces in your still pounding mind. 

“Lixie?” Your staggering mind manages. 

“How did you get here?” You hear I.N’s surprise. Begrudgingly you pry your eyes open, blinking the world back to alignment.

“I dunno.. I was complaining about seeing you guys and then I felt like I was hit with mega vertigo and… here I am.” 

And here you were. Standing in an almost identical dorm room kitchen to the first one, individuals items being the only difference you can see.

“Are you ok?”

“That’s so cool!” 

Both chime at once. You can’t help but laugh at them.

“Yes I’m ok, it was just really abrupt. I was not ready for it.” You smile softly at Lix, before turning to give I.N a mischievous smirk. “...do you think I’d be able to do it again?”

“Please tell me you’re going to try it right now.” I.N comes over to you excitedly, his game completely forgotten. “Wait! I have an idea!”

You watch as he races back to the computer to grab his phone. You and Felix share a confused look. 

“I’ll text everyone in the group to see if they’re all decent. I won't say why and then you pick a member and try to poof to them.” He begins typing away on his phone.

“Oh this I’m ready for. And don't say poof. It's weird.” The mischievous look on the maknaes face only amps up your own. The youngest was always ready to cause a ruckus with you.

He rolls his eyes at you, but doesnt respond.

“Ok everyones good. Chans in his studio, the others are either in the other dorm, the gym or wandering around the city.” IN eagerly informs you both.  

“Did you at least give them a warning? If this does work?” Felix, trying as always to be the voice of reason for you two. Always worrying about what you two would end up doing to the others. Felix and his soft heart. 

“Yeah’” IN waves off. “Give it a try y/n”

Focusing on one member you begin to try to will yourself to him. Your eyes close, the world tilts and the ringing hits. 

“See you later!” You chime, an evil smile plastered on your face, and then poof.

----

“Do you think it worked?” Felix paces back and forth in worry. They hadn’t heard anything from anyone for over 5 minutes, he was beginning to worry you got lost somewhere.

“Well she’s not here anymore, so I’d assume so.” IN comments, composure set in his shoulders as he watches the older continue in his steps.

The group from your previous location burst into the dorm. Eyes wild, almost panic stricken. 

“Have you guys seen y/n? She was in the dorm and then she just vanished! We can’t find her.” Jisung wails, coming in first. Clearly the most concerned out of the group.

“Yea, she was here just here.” Felix remarks, finally his feet coming to a rest. 

“Was?” 

“We're waiting for touchdown.” IN shrugs, now scrolling through his phone absentmindedly. 

“What?” 

The maknaes phone notification appears on his screen and the ringtone he set goes off. A bright smile erupts on his face as he answers it, placing it down on the table as he hits speakerphone for everyone to hear. 

“You couldn't have given a better warning?!”  Chan's exasperated voice comes through the line.

“I said heads up.” IN chuckles.

“Heads up was not enough to have my heart leap out of my body. She appeared out of nowhere. How was I supposed to be ready for that?!” Chan howls. IN can’t contain his laughter at his leader's cries. 

“It worked?!” Felix beamed, eyes now sparkling with joy at you not being sent to god know where.

“Yes Lix it worked.” You sang from Chan's end of the phone. 

“Greeeeaaaaat.” Less than excited groans break out mixed with genuine cheers.

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖

“Um y/n, did you visit me at some point today?” There’s a slight tremble to IN’s voice as he returns to the dorms, not even taking his shoes off to come find you in the kitchen.

“No? I was with Changbin all day.” You chime brightly from your perch on the counter, legs swinging back and forth as you watch Changbin struggling to make a meal. 

“As annoying as it was, yeah she was with me the whole time. Why innie?” Changbin turns to the younger, concern written all over his face. You were still learning about the kids, how each one's reactions played a part in their personalities. But they knew each other better than themselves.

“I swear it felt like something was there today.. I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things” IN huffs, shoulders slumping and head cast down. You catch his demeanor shift this time. Hopping off the counter you walk over to him, angling to catch his eyes now trained to the floor. 

“Can you show me where?” You smile at him sweetly. “I’ll take a look for you.”

He doesn’t say anything, only giving you a small nod, finally making eye contact again.

You and Changbin trapse after IN through the company hallways, he had been silent the whole trip there. Something had seriously left the maknae shaken, something you were determined to get to the bottom of. Only you are allowed to scare these boys now. 

Changbin steps to walk alongside IN now, draping an arm over his shoulders. You are left a few steps behind. As they take a turn down the last hallway, you can feel it. 

You don’t have a body anymore, you know that logically, but somehow there’s a heaviness to your steps that leave you stunned silent. If you had to breathe the air would appear thick, sinking to the bottom of your lungs. But you don’t and you almost have to convince yourself of that fact. 

The boys step into the open doorway vanishing into the room. You feel as though there’s a tickle on the back of your neck. The only thing you can think of that it reminds you of is the breath of someone standing too close behind you. 

You swear you can hear a whisper of a voice behind you. Instinct tells you to look behind you, but you don’t. The hallway is empty, your voice in your head tells you, you don’t have to worry anymore. 

Wait. Why did you have to worry? 

You blink several times, pushing away your confusion. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on yourself. You step into the room to see the two of them standing in the center of a vocal room, eyes darting around as IN’s voice finally speaks up.

“It was in here.” He gestures to the room. “I was sitting at the piano, facing away from the door and I felt like something came in. But I had the door locked. When I turned around I was just expecting to see you, but there was nothing.”

You walk over to where the keyboard is positioned, glancing over at the door you all had just come through. And just like that your breath would have hitched if you had one. 

“What is it y/n?” Changbin asks from behind you.

“I think we should head back.” Your eyes follow something in the room, moving up to the ceiling. “We can all talk about it together.”

“Sure?” The suspicion in Changbins voice does not go unmissed by you.

“You guys go first, I’ll meet you there.”

You can't see the shared look of distress passed between the two as you hear them leave, mumbling something as they go. You always fazed home first, too impatient to wait for them and wanting to annoy the next person as soon as possible. So you deciding to stay behind was something that stirred anxiety into them.

You want to reassure them, but you can’t. You can’t look away from what you’re seeing. You can feel them getting farther away from you, a forced faze back to the dorms. 

You hated accidentally falling out of their proximity, some force slapping you to their side. Always leaving you extremely disorientated. So you avoided it at all costs. But no this time, you feel the pull but you fight against it as you swear you can almost make out what you’re seeing. It’s on the tip of your tongue and that’s where it dies as you hear the same chilling voice rasp to you as before.

“Don’t worry, once you let go of everything else we can finally be together.”

And then you’re wrenched back to the dorms.

Stumbling to the floor you are met with 6 sets of eyes. The group chat had been notified as soon as the two left you behind. They were all waiting for you to return. Shortly after IN and Changbin returned, IN explaining what happened with him. 

Then it was your turn. But somehow you couldn’t remember what you thought you might have seen, the emotions you felt now fuzzy and muddy in your head.

“I'm not sure what it was, but it left a heavy residue. Like I could see where it had been on the walls and floor. I think it would be safe if you all traveled in pairs when you’re outside the apartments. Something just doesn’t feel right about it.” You think out loud. “Just being cautious until we can figure this out, I mean.”

“Yea, I think that’s a good idea.” Chan agrees after replaying your words. “I’ll call and get our schedules moved around so no ones alone.”

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖

As the weeks progressed, the boys were becoming more unsettled. Even in pairs they claimed to feel like they were being watched or followed. Any and everywhere outside the dorm building, mostly at work and then a trickling of outside. 

All the while you couldn’t shake forgetting something. There was something important you needed to remember. But everytime drawing a complete blank as to what it actually was. 

Your napping was also impossible now. Once being able to drift into nothing, is now replaced with the cold chill of hands on your skin, dark murmurs against your ears and the overwhelming feeling of grief. As scared as you were when you came back to the world, you couldn't remember exactly what had happened. Couldn’t place the familiarity of the hands, the voice and the words. 

You remained upfront with the members, explaining to Chan the ominous dissociative states you found yourself in. And how sometimes it wasn’t you that did it. One moment you could be with them and then the next gone. However, you would put everything you had into fighting it off, it had become frequent for almost a week, before you started to reel it in. it had been days since the last time, finally feeling like you had some control…

Until it hit you again. 

The boys were either napping in their dorms or watching tv or eating, some even opting to go to the company for some extra practice. It was an off day for them, all free to roam about as they pleased. You had walked into the living room of the Lee’s dorm when you are halted by a sudden wave of forgetfulness. 

“Are you ok, y/n?” You can hear Felix’s voice swim into your fog. 

“Yea, I just uh…forgot why I came in here..” You give your head a little shake trying to wave off the clouding fog that was slowly becoming thicker as the seconds ticked by. 

You could see through the glaze of your vision, like you were looking through a window of ice, three figures coming closer. You hear their muffled voices as you stumble slightly.

“I’m fine-” You slur out. Unknowing what they were actually saying to you. “I-”

“I know why you’re fighting me so hard. You want me to prove my love for you, don’t you worry I’m not going anywhere.” 

The voice envelopes you like a cement blanket, your vision darkening….

“Y/N!” 

You immediately snap out of it, standing straight, eyes now clear. “Hyunjin!” 

And you phase out. 

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗

Staggering a couple of steps, you attempt to catch yourself but fail. You plummet forwards to the floor, hands coming out to catch yourself. The ringing is excruciatingly loud now, lights in the room blindingly bright. 

Where are you? Someone screamed your name, who was it…? You knew who it was.

Painfully slow you wince as you lift your head to look around the room. Light reflections from the far end. Mirrors, those must be mirrors…dance studio. Your vision is still swimming, unable to focus, if you weren’t already certain you’d think you were underwater with how submerged you feel. 

Peering over to the side, shifting your head as little as possible. Gut twisting nausea hits you as you vaguely make out a figure lying on the floor. Fighting through the unseen force dragging your body down, one limb at a time you begin to crawl over. 

Your voice coming out in a weak attempt, “Hyunjin”.

A feeble moan comes from the blurry figure, still unmoving.

Hand moving forward to continue moving, don’t stop moving.

‘I-’

“Hyunjin!” Ignoring the voice banging itself against your skull you have to get to him. 

‘You-’

“Hyunjin!” Finally movement from the figure. Only a few more shuffles and you’ll be able to reach him. 

‘Me-’

Finally leaning over the figure you can now see some of him. Your mind is stuck in a fishbowl view. He’s lying on his back, chest rising and falling in deep rhythmic breathing. He didn't seem like he was in pain. You want to touch him, make sure he’s ok, somehow wake him up. Go for help. What you wouldn’t give to be able to go get help right now. Who did Hyunjin say he was coming here with? Why can’t you remember anything?

Who was at the dorm? Felix, Minho and IN. Who did he leave with?

‘-estiny’ 

‘SHUT UP!’ You scream back in your mind. You needed to think, but you couldn’t even hear yourself try. 

‘-ove’

You grapple with your mind to think clearly, you just had to make your body work too. “SEUNGMIN!” 

As his name leaves you the practice room door swings open. Faces you couldn’t recognize and eyes that couldn’t see you crowd around Hyunjin. Seungmin’s face comes into focus, as the chaos carries the unconscious dancer out. 

“Y/N, what happened?” He finally asks when everyone else left the room, crouching down to you. 

“I don’t know, he… I heard him yell my name from the dorm and I ended up here.” 

“Everyone heard him yell. That’s why we all came running. Did anything else happen? I’m going to go find out if he’s ok, but is there anything I need to know? Are you ok?” As he spoke, the water from the room began to drain. Your eyes focusing once again on your surroundings, the ringing dying out. 

“No, just go with him, I’m fine.” You wave him away, he only hesitates for a moment before leaving you alone in the room 2 unopened, iced water bottles lay in his place. He must have gone to get them water. 

Pushing from your hands, you fumble to sit. 

“What do you want?” A broken whisper comes out of you, voice almost sounding not like your own. Eyes trained to the ceiling. 

This time the fade out is slow, like you can feel it fluttering down on you like a fresh sheet. 

The same infuriating voice sounds as you slip away. 

‘I love you and you love me. We’re destiny.’

~🌒🌓🌔🌕

Movie night was demanded of all of you when you finally returned from your ‘nap’. Hyunjin was not able to remember what happened, but he did remember calling your name. But he said it felt more like a warning call than him wanting you to come help him. You were all unnerved by this, but upon long late night discussions you all agreed to let it rest for now. They had a hectic schedule coming up after the next few days of being off. 

They were scheduled to go overseas for some promotional work, you were excited about traveling when they first told you. But as time ticked on and you let your mind wander you became increasingly uncomfortable with it. Maybe you could stay behind in the dorms? You could wait for them to get back.  

The credits begin to roll over the screen breaking all of you out of your 20 minute silence. The plot twist actually surprises you all near the end, leaving you quietly focused.

“Reincarnation would be pretty cool.” Jisung’s eyes wide in disbelief, finally someone speaking.

“You know what would be even better?” Felix wiggled his eyebrows at his birthday twin, only to have him shake his head in response. “If we all got to do the next life together!” 

“Yes!” Jisung cheered, hands thrown in the air in excitement. Snacks completely forgotten in bowls on the table and floor. 

“It does make sense. None of us could manage alone anymore, at least I wouldn’t be able to.” Chan laughs at the dramatic younger ones, as they both throw themselves into their leader's lap. Fits of giggles erupting.

“You really want us to all do this again?” Minho complains, the thought already exhausting him.

“Of course!” Felix continues to giggle as Chan gives him a hug, Changbin tickling him on his other side.

“You don’t want to?” Jisung already pushed away from the fight to turn his large puppy eyes to Minho. Pout forming on his lips, forcing Minho to look away abruptly. The question caught the other members' attention. 

“It’s not that…” Each member staring at him patiently waiting for his answer. He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Alright, the next life we do together.” 

“Promise?” Felix turns on his puppy eyes, following Jisung’s lead.

“Promise.” The others all say in unison. 

You snicker to yourself, perched behind them all clustered on the couch, how were they so adorable to each other but also extremely annoying?

Clearly your noises didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y/n, do not even think you can go to the next life without us. ALL of us” Hyunjin glares at you. 

“What am I supposed to do? Wait for you?” You feign irritation. Next life huh?

“Yes!! There is no way in hell you are being reincarnated without us, we can finally annoy you then, instead of you just annoying us. And we’ve all just promised to have the next life together, so you’re stuck with us.” Changbin demands, the tone in his voice pushing through the idea that this was final. 

“Too bad. You don’t have a choice now.” Minho smirks at you, causing you to mimik him from before, eyes rolling in mock disgust.

The next life with these weirdos? You guess that’s something you could do. Maybe this is what having a home could feel like… being not alone and being wanted made you feel something again. Something you hadn’t felt for a long time, something you had almost forgotten. 

Trying to hide a smile you turn away from them, “Whatever.” is all you can manage.

Two more days of having them all to yourself then it’s back to business. Discomfort settles in you again, yea maybe you’ll stay home. You’ve gotten pretty good at poltegiesting the tv on and netflix, slowly being able to move things slightly, playing around with equipment they brought into the dorms. Hey, maybe they can leave you some stuff to attempt to interact with.

You’d be ok here alone. Something in you was saying you should stay back. This time you’d listen to your gut feeling.

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗

“Where exactly are we going?” You whine from behind the group. They all had insisted you went out tonight, something to do with having fun to distract from all the creepiness that now was a part of their daily lives. And also their impending work trip.

“We told you it’s a surprise.” Minho huffs annoyingly at you.

“And I told you I don’t like surprises.” You grumble, continuing to wander down a gravel path through a large park. The evening had darkened the sky, however along the path they had taken it was illuminated with string lights. The trees break up ahead and you can see even more lights. You squint trying to get a better idea of what the heck this was.

“No way-” Your mouth hangs open. 

A pop-up carnival, adorned with beautiful lights, multiple rides, little shops, tents and so many more options. The night air is buzzing as you look at the others who are waiting for you. 

“Surprise!” Hyungjin beams. 

“Time to have fun.” Felix chirps before gesturing forward, and that was all the invitation you needed to enjoy yourself tonight.

—-

After a few hours and your second round of the carnival, each member is stuffing their faces with some form of snack. You notice a smaller trailer just out of the main circle trail. 

‘Tarot reading/Fortune reading/Psychic medium’

Your pace slows as you feel a slight pull towards it. 

“Oooo a psychic!” Jisung shouts excitedly from beside you, making you jump a little. “Should we check it out?”

“Aren’t they all just scammers?” Seungmin deadpanes towards the marked trailer.

“We have the perfect thing to test them out.” Minho counters. “If they pick up on y/n then they are real, if not they are fake”

You nod to the group. That does make complete sense.

“I’m in.” You smile before skipping your way over the boys following close behind, the Medium didn’t have a line or anything so it seemed like this would be a quick visit. If anything you could knock some things off their wall if they got things wrong. It’d be fun regardless.

Upon entering you instantly notice a thick foreboding smog that clung to the air. Something in the back of your mind is telling you to leave, barely one foot inside the trailer. The members crowd in around you giving you a chance to take in the small space. A burgundy wall of curtains behind a small counter with a korean sign you couldn't read. 

The members had been helping you learn to read Korean but some things and words were harder than others. 

The walls of the trailer you could see had trinkets and lace draping meticulously and delicately placed with symbols you had never seen before. However, each symbol makes you feel a certain way…You couldn't describe it but it was as if you glanced a little too long you’d either feel nauseous, giddy or incredibly nervous.  Unable to focus on one thing, your mind hyper tracked every thing in the tiny room. 

Everything except the curtain opening slightly. 

A young couple arm in arm walked out merrily, smiling at nothing but each other. Clearly given some form of good knews, fake or not. You watched them walk out before turning back to the group.

“Next please~” A tender voice sang out from behind the curtain. Still shifted to the side, the members share a look before walking through, you only hesitate for a moment, the panic of wanting to run weighing down on you. Pushing past it you follow them into the other portion of the trailer.

Entering the room the thick feeling no longer clings to you. It’s like it was trapped in another space. The room coloured in deep tapestries, symbols, mirrors and prints along the walls. A bookshelf full of old looking books, crystals splayed around them. Crystals hang from the ceiling in bottles and in cages, along with plants around the whole of the room. You almost feel comfortable here, that is until a voice brings you out of your wonder.

“Normally I’d request all excess energies to remain outside, however I do not believe I have to this time.” The female voice sings. “You’ve brought someone with you.”

She’s hidden by the members all crowding around her table, it’s not until they all take their seats that you finally get a look at her. The years have aged her….not well to put it nicely. Her body frail, hands shake slightly as she covers her mouth to stifle a laugh. 

Changbin looks over at you, giving you a ‘what the hell is this?’ kind of look. All the others were stunned, staring wide eyed at her instant recognition of you.

You shoot him a confused annoyed look, huffing at him to pay attention. In response he rolls his eyes and looks back to her. 

“A young girl, your age I feel.” This time not hiding her laugh. “She’s a spunky one I take it?”

“Spunky is an understatement.” Minho mumbles under his breath. 

If looks could kill, he would be dead with the glare you’re giving him, you stick your tongue out at them.

 “I will give you my quick introduction, and what I normally do for people. However, I will be doing something a little different today.” She begins. “My name is Sengul. I offer Tarot card readings, communications with deceased loved ones or palm readings. But today let us discuss the young lady that has joined you today.”

You eye her carefully, clearly she wasn’t someone to be taken lightly. No one knew about you other than the 8 members, so she shouldn’t have been able to know you were there.

“Can you see her?” Jisungs voice squeaks out, shifting closer to Minho. MInho’s hand coming over to rest on the youngers tapping knee.

“No, but I can feel her.” The medium smiles at the nervous rapper. “She has a very strong presence. An aura if you will, a projection of emotions. And I take it upon your response to my words you all know of her?”

“Yes we do. We can see and hear her clearly.” Chan states confidently, you can tell by his tone he’s thinking over his words carefully. 

“I see, and she has been here for quite some time?” 

Eight heads nod simultaneously. 

“And the other….presence?” Her voice drops.

“You can feel that one too?” Shock encapsules Felix’ normally tender voice.

“Both very different, both just as strong I fear.” Sengul murmurs to herself, thinking out loud. 

“Should we be worried?” Chan’s face morphs into a deadpan, quiet demands.

“All I feel from the young lady is pure… love.” Panicking you train your eyes to the floor. You weren’t good at talking about your feelings. It was easier to hide behind shrewd comments, bitter banter and condescending tones. And now she was laying it all out for them, all your feelings for them. “The need to protect is strong. Also the need to not be alone, not for the fear of being alone but of loving too strong. Wanting to be with the people you so deeply care about continuously. Doing everything you can to procure someone's happiness. There’s a sense of ‘if you are happy then I am too’. Not done for selfish reasons but out of love for them.” 

If you can’t see them then they can’t see you right? You wished the ground would actually swallow you whole right now, you didn’t want to have to talk about this later, knowing the boys would pester you about this when you got out of here.

But she doesn't stop. “A soul who chooses comfort and trust in the living can open up their doorway to be seen and heard like she has with you. But this takes complete trust in the individual, for a whole group to be given that is truly a gift in itself. Even if the soul itself is not aware of it, sometimes that’s where fate plays a part.”

“That would make sense as to why I saw her the first time.” Hyunjin’s voice comes out soothing, but you're too afraid to look up. Why did you have to be visible? “You mentioned the other?” 

Thank god, please move on.

At first she only hums at his question, standing slightly to the side behind the members you look up at her. Fear of your feelings being known, now forgotten. 

“I will be honest with you. I don’t believe this one to be like her. A putrid smell invaded my senses under her arua. It lingers on you the way soot would, gathering thicker and thicker on you each time. Draining you, like leech upon flesh. It is dark, something I myself am uncomfortable dealing with.” Her strong eyes trying to reach each member, the sincerity in her voice, the worry.

“Human..?” An unfinished question. 

“It was once.” 

“How can a human soul be something like this?” Minho’s hand tightens on Jisungs knee, who in return clasps his hand over his Hyungs, trying to now calm the rage set in the dancer's jaw.

“Sometimes, if a soul is truly corrupt in life it can form itself into something inhumanly evil. The reincarnation process is impossible. It can only cling to this world until it achieves what it wants.” Sengul looks apologetically at Minho.

“Achieving what?” 

“Whatever it was after in the living. Once it has it, it will bleed it until the soul is lost into nothing. It will no longer exist. These fractured souls are everywhere, I’m surprised you’ve been able to feel one.” Sengul explains cautiously, hands trembling on the table.

“Maybe it's because we’ve been around y/n for so long, we can pick up on some now?”

“Perhaps” Medium hums, her sad eyes betraying her. There’s more she isn’t saying. “Perhaps you’ve just come into contact with it through somewhere you’ve been.” 

‘Somewhere you’ve been’ echos in your head… ‘somewhere they’ve been…’

As the boys listen on, something draws you to the side of the trailer. An ornate gold framed oval mirror hangs among the vines and crystals on her wall. You don’t make a step closer, only turning enough to look at it. Stupefied in place, your eyes wide as the voices around you drown out. For the first time in years you make eye contact with yourself in the glass. Noticing a pair of steady eyes watching you through the glass, your body trembles as you let yours drift to them. 

The reflection of the Medium is staring at you, your chest rising and falling as if you're struggling to control your breath. She gives you a soft, sad smile, her eyes beaming with so much…was this sympathy… or was it pity? 

You break away to check on the others. Could they see what you were seeing? 

The Medium and the members are still carrying on their conversation, unaware of what was happening to you. Clearly this was just for you. You quickly look back, making sure you hadn’t imagined it. Once again eyes finding the Mediums reflection still looking at you. So heartbroken. 

As if slowly guided forward you began to step towards the mirror. The closer you get the more drawn you are to her. She stands from her stool, matching her steps to yours. With each step you feel an electric vibration through your body. Your hand reaches out to feel the glass in front of you, her doing the same. It almost feels as though you are making contact with someone, there's now despair engraved into the lines of her face. 

Her lips don’t move when you hear her voice, “I am so sorry my child.”

Before you can ask her, her reflection fades away in a static like motion, morphing into a tall dark figure behind you. You can’t see any facial features, you don’t know what this is. 

Something feels incredibly off, looking back at yourself you see a single tear escape down your cheek. The figure's hand reaches up behind you, fingers wrapping around your neck. Another tear breaks free when your eyes inevitably close, memories flood your mind. The dam finally broken, a dam you wish you could rebuild. But it's too late. 

You remember.

“Nonononono, you can’t leave me. I’ll follow you, I’ll find you my precious. We’ll be together always”

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

You kept yourself relatively calm, at least on the outside. The days, hours, minutes even leading up to the boys traveling to Japan, were some of the most emotionally draining for you. 

Watching them each pack a bag made you feel like they were the ones leaving you behind. Ultimately you knew that wasn’t true, they’d never leave you behind.

But still you smiled and waved as they left acting like you didn’t know what was coming next. Alone you wandered through the dorms, memories flashing in a vivid 4k movie you had saved.

Late nights talking with Minho about his hidden, not so hidden feelings for his soulmate. Leading to late nights talking to Jisung about the same thing. You give them what advice you could but ultimately leave the ball in their court if they were to bring it up with the other. Which to your joy they did.

Hours watching and rewatching Hyunjin dance over and over again, upon his request. Noting changes, weak steps, things he couldn’t see himself. Then you try to erase the doubts he had for himself in his abilities to master his own choreo. Him unloading his worries on you, for you to help amend. 

Following Felix to his voice lessons, only for him to be overcome with nervousness at you listening. Unsure of how to use his beautifully comforting instrument. You encourage him to try more, different styles, different techniques and decide how he wants it to sound. Not how anyone told him he had to sound, believe in what he was singing for, himself.

No longer sitting idly as you all watched Chan overwork and overthink himself. His unableness to see his own worth in the eyes of others. You had gotten so worked up over him self-deprecating that you had snapped. Throwing every piece of importance that his existence brings to so many people, unrelenting confident laced compliments, until he broke down crying. 

Bothering Changbin on his solo trips to the gym on days he felt weak. Too many worries about his members and his music filling his mind, making it hard for him to see his strength as a person. He stayed longer at the gym those days, trying to convince himself of his solidity. On these days you felt an even greater urge to voice and compliment him on his reps and stamina. It might have seemed like you were only feeding into this idea of muscularity, but he knew, he always knew why you were really there. And he always just laughed and said you were annoying, but he never asked you to leave him. And so you’d stay until the end.

Days observing the youngest members of the group. Each day growing more and more into bright men. Considerate, emotionally intelligent humans, finding themselves in a world of harsh criticisms and cruel expectations. But still, watching them thrive in the safety of the home they all created with each other was something beautiful in itself. The fearlessness of Seungmin and IN was something that people should be jealous of.

How can a world shrouded with darkness still hold so much light?

Each room now contains countless memories and moments you’ve locked away in your heart. Ones you will hold onto until the last moment, taking them with you. Not remembering your life wasn’t painful neither was remembering what happened at the end of it. What was truly the most excruciating was now saying good-bye to a home you remember, one you didn’t want to leave. 

Making your way through the archives of memories you sit down at the dining table. Recording equipment, ipads and other electronics placed especially for you to kill time until they returned. Eyes glazing over, chest heavy, lingerings of a broken promise hanging in the air.

Exerting every ounce of strength left in you, you reach out to one of the machines. 

A deafening click fills the room as the recording unit turns on.

~🌑

Voice recording:

‘Hey guys! Yea it’s me, y/n. Bet you didn’t know I could do this huh? Honestly I’ve been practicing trying to use this recording thingy myself for a while, and let me tell you it wasn’t easy *laughs nervously*

I uh just wanted to say thank you, ya know for letting me hang around you guys. I can’t tell you how bored I’ve been and this has been the single most exciting moments in my undead life. So yea, thank you for that.

But um…. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to say all this to your faces before leaving, so I guess I’m taking the coward's way out. Leaving this for you to find after I’m gone. 

It doesn’t look like I’ll be waiting on the other side for you guys. I know I promised we’d all start the next life together, but uh…. I don’t… I won’t be having a next go at this. I guess this was meant to be my only life. 

I realized what it was that was following you guys, and when I did I got all of my memories back from when I died. I won’t be getting into detail about that because… I don’t- I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want you guys to think about it. When I figured it out, I knew the only way it would stop coming after you was me.

 …It only ever wanted me… 

I know you’ll be upset and furious with me that I didn’t talk to you before deciding, but sometimes you have to make a hard decision for the good of the group right?.. and I uh… it wasn’t fair for me to let you guys deal with this when it’s my fault.

So I am sorry, but also not because I enjoyed annoyingly haunting you. 

You’ll be getting on a plane to come back in a few days.

So I guess it’s time, if i don’t do it now I’ll chicken out. I have to go back to my room.. we’ll it’s not my room anymore. 

*short pause*

I think that’s what scares me the most about this. Not the unexisting part, I mean, but having to go back to my old safe room. That isn’t so safe anymore, not with it being in there. 

This, with you, was what being safe felt like. Even if it only lasted for a moment.

A part of me really hopes that when I walk through those doors you’ll forget all about me, so you won’t have to deal with it after I’m gone. I don’t want you to be sad, or feel guilty for my choice…. Do you think if I beg the universe hard enough it could happen? Here’s me hoping that maybe I’ll have more luck in death, than in life?

But it’s ok. 

You will be ok.

I know these weren’t the answers we were hoping to find. These are just the answers we’ve been given.

I’d say see you later, like I always do but that feels like a lie now…

So I guess it’s Goodbye.

*long pause, sniffling can be heard over the recording*

I Love you guys.’

*CLICK end of recording *

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