Why Am I Always Attached To Demos And Bsides And Things That Never Make It Beyond Shit Quality YouTube Lyric Vids From 2008 - Tumblr Posts

Banging my head against the bars of my enclosure bc I remembered this old song that's perfect for blended itafushi playlist

But it isn't on Spotify. All I can find is live vids like this one https://youtu.be/TvMTE6Z5CEo?si=8umMcNtLsmHDID_l

Why is the song playing in my head a chill, beautiful professional studio session? Why does it not seem to exist? Pls help me i swear to god. Bryce Avary, release you tell me to live so I can have a good itafushi playlist I'm begging you.