Yes This Thanks And Goodnight - Tumblr Posts
What if Sam didn't notice the first time Dean broke into his apartment? What if Dean got in, helped himself to a beer from the fridge, and then just wandered around the living room? Looking at pictures on the walls (in the dark, so he doesn't notice the corner of a picture of him and Sam sticking out of the LSAT study book on the coffee table), looking at the uncluttered, settled, homeyness of this place Sam lives. With a girl. With not Dean.
What if eventually, he gets tired of waiting for Sam's hunter instincts to kick in, because clearly Sam's gotten rusty if he hasn't woken up yet, so he makes his silent (maybe not-so-silent, maybe he's making a bit of noise on purpose because he wantsneedshungers to feel Sam against him like he used to, when they were younger and sparring) way to the bedroom. What if he pauses at the door, open just a crack, because those sounds are muffled but quite clearly involved and Dean's never had a chance to walk in on Sammy with a girl before. Walk in on Sammy naked, sure, that was inevitable with how they grew up. Walk in on Sammy jerkin' it, yeah. That was also inevitable (especially when he was trying to, needed desperately to see Sam when he was lost in pleasure, loose and wanton and so so forbidden). But Sammy with a girl? Heck, for all Dean knows, Sam left for college a virgin (thank god).
What if Dean peeks through the crack in the door, and suddenly he can't breathe because those sounds are muffled because Sam's biting a pillow, knuckles white where he's holding fistfuls of it, and a blonde goddess with a leather halter on her hips is thrusting into him and they're glistening with sweat in the moonlight and all Dean can think about is how much he hates that woman, how much he wants to be the one holding Sam's waist in a bruising grip, how much he wants to feel Sam tight and hot around him.
What if Dean sees the woman - Jess, her name is Jess, his stalking has taught him that much - lean down, what if Dean hears her say "you like that, baby brother?" and what if Sam's cry as he comes gets Dean harder than diamonds and Dean has to leave, has to get out now because if he doesn't...
if he doesn't...
god, if he doesn't he might have to pull her off of Sam, because that should be him and Sam knows it and clearly she knows it too.
What if Dean had to come back the next night, because he couldn't trust himself that first time he broke in?