You Are Worth Dying For - Tumblr Posts
I wanted to be a savior
But what does that even mean?
Who has the right?
My arrogance has known no bounds.
My momma raised me blessedly
And yet I have found myself lacking.
I saw the world through a certain lense
Fractured
But more idealized than is real.
I sat on God's throne
Loved and hated
Saw my own hypocrisy
And here I am.
Who deserves to stand over another?
Who deserves to look down and see someone else?
It is its own crime;
Who is able to defend it?
I have hated
Yes
I have loved.
Seen my own soul
And wondered at the world.
No one is good
And no one is evil.
More often than not
Whoever claims one is wrong.
I have seen my own sin.
Been so crushed by it
I was willing to kill myself.
To die
To be sacrificed;
To find myself upon my own alter
Because I could not deal with my own guilt.
But this too was for me.
A selfish act designed to make me feel special.
All I have loved is me
And because of this
I can't forget the world.
If I exist
So must everyone else.
If I gave a right to be
Then so do all the others.
My mother taught me this
But in this world
I have not seen it.
Only in that which I imagine can it be
While in my day to day
Violence reigns over all.
Because of this I hate
Yet still I crave its destruction.
The bloodrhirst of God
That has defined all my days.
Ever since that bastard first came into my room
God of all creation
A shadow on my wall.
My own darkness
Masquerading as light
Preaching from their pullpits
A lie who spreads the truth.
I am a convoluted thought;
A twisted notion of what is right.
Equal parts saving
As I am killing everyone.
A monstrous thing to say.
If only everyone could be so honest.
How many would gladly end all the noise
If only they could sleep soundly.
This is all for me.
I don't do it for anyone.
In privacy I belong to the masses
But her I say what I will.
I have hungered
And fed.
Gluttoned on reality.
I would devour all that is
Of only to create
A new world for myself.
I am all that is.
All that can be known.
For only I am me
And only myself can I understand.
This is what I hope for all.
That they be free to live and die.
All eternity
Stretched for them.
Infinite layers
Of their own psyche.
I can't adequately explain it.
We have auto text now.
Daily we become more like God
Ever unraveling
The very notion of what God is.
Turns out
God was never more than us
And we were never more than them
Deafened by the noise;
A fool trying to answer life.
This is all I know;
That I am nothing,
But only as I compare
Myself to all others.
So live
Breath
Drink and have sex.
Who will judge you but yourself,
It is actually easy
To convict god in his own court of law.
I have done it.
You will do it.
God so hated themself that they blotted out their soul.
Burn it.
Burn the image.
All that is sacred is you.
Everything else is coming down,
Save your own soul
In what ever form that means.
We are all children
Before god's world breaks us.
Will you damn a child?
Can you condemn such sin?