You Can Call Me Pragmatic But Im Too Lenient For That. You Can Call Me Lenient But Im Too Pragmatic For That. Idk Man. Im Gonna Sleep Now - Tumblr Posts

unfortunately i dont have anything to show you foday or anything particular to tell you either so how about you look at this flower i bought at the local store and i think about what to say along the way actually the employee at the store gave me a discount every time i buy flowers im forced to participate in human interactions with strangers and remember that we live in a society i think now that summer is over and the grass is no longer that green and touchable we should buy flowers from time to time to remain sane i had to take a break from meds for a few days last week and it went rather ok. except i was bawling my eyes out at every given opportunity you know. there is actually a game that keeps making me cry even when i cant really physically do it its not really that sad. i would say that the main genre of this game is actually comedy. but the topics raised in dialogues wreck my brain i dont really feel anything at all while reading the text or anything like that. i dont ecen think about it that much but every now and then i feel the wetness on my hands and realize i've been crying for a while because of what read there thats how i cry 99% of the time since the day i was born and i didnt really think anything about it untill now my psychiatrist told me i have severe problems with dissociation and recognising my own emotions but a few days ago i was watching some silly local soap opera in the background (im binging this stuff its iconic) & it broke my brain the raised topics in the series triggered me this much i felt The Pain™. idk how to describe it rather then The Pain™ lol now im back on meds and i dont feel anything at all again. this or my ability to recognise my own emotions just went down to 5% again sometime i dream of someone who would posses my brain for a few minutes so that they would help me understand what i really feel or if my reactions to life events are correct. sometimes when i think that i know exactly what i feel i stop myself and recognise that i dont know nor understand shit the more i think about it the more materialistic i become you can always measure something physical. you can touch it or even search every inch of it with a magnifying glass all you want but you cant measure the feeling you know its really bizzare that i feel so much attraction towards poetry while having so much trouble with the concept of emotions itself you can call me pragmatic but im too lenient for that. you can call me lenient but im too pragmatic for that. idk man. im gonna sleep now